The Name on the Marquee: WWF Prime Time Wrestling (9.24.1987)

-Originally aired September 24, 1987.

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan. Gene Okerlund drops in unexpectedly and has a pleasant chat with Gorilla while Heenan throws a tantrum about being ignored.

“The Rock” MAGNIFICENT MURACO vs OUTLAW RON BASS
-That’s a pretty clumsy re-branding for Muraco. Bruce Prichard and Mike McGuirk are on commentary for this one, and this must be from Illinois because the referee is that little old man who always wore a weird random patch on his shirt.

-Bass backs Muraco into the corner and hammers him. Muraco fights back with slams and Bass goes out to the floor to take a break. Prichard says he’s headed for higher ground after that onslaught, and McGuirk calmly points out that the floor outside the ring is technically lower ground. Thanks, Mike!

-Muraco works the back with forearms. Atomic drop sends Bass out to the floor for another breather as McGuirk is making Bass sound like a total jobber and giving him no chance in this one. Muraco barely manages to hold Bass for a backbreaker and that gets two, and Bass goes out to the floor, perhaps in search of a map that will give him some direction for this match.

-Bass gets into the ring and immediately retreats to the corner and begs for mercy. Muraco goes for a neckbreaker and I can’t tell WHAT the hell happens next but there’s an audible pause in the crowd noise, like 9,000 people are all thinking “What were they trying to do there?”

-Somehow Bass has the upper hand now, and he gets Muraco out to the floor and posts him. Bass goes inside, takes a breather, goes back out, rams the shoulder in the post, and heads back in for another breather. Back in the ring, Muraco just clotheslines him like nothing happened and both guys are sucking wind. Actually, you can just strike “wind” at this point. Fistfight with the referee accidentally getting knocked over in the middle, so both men are DQed. This match had such a profound lack of chemistry, you’d swear Walter White was already dead. Bruce Prichard instinctively explains that the fans didn’t understand what they were going for and condescendingly insists it was actually a great match.

SIVI AFI vs. STEVE LOMBARDI
-Afi gets the early advantage with a shoulderblock and a hiptoss. Duke Dougherty suddenly arrives at ringside in a suit and demands a chance to show that he’s a better commentator than Lord Alfred Hayes. His Lordship cheerfully complies and turns over his headset to Dougherty, which is kind of like giving up a case of sniffles for the flu.

-In the ring, Lombardi clotheslines Afi. Headlock by Lombardi and Afi elbows free the moment he hears the first rumblings of a “boring” chant. Lombardi tosses Afi to the floor and denies him re-entry. He eventually brings Afi back in with a suplex for two. Lombardi sinks his teeth into Afi amd then rams Afi’s head into the turnbuckle. Afi is just Polynesian enough that he can no-sell it, but Lombardi takes the advantage back with a punch. Wait, so a shot to the head doesn’t hurt, but a shot to the head hurts? What the hell?

-Afi mounts a comeback with chops and a clothesline. Diving headbutt gets two. Another headbutt, another two. Bodypress by Afi, but Lombardi holds on and reverses, rolling up Afi for a three-count. Didn’t quite get into this one.

-Gene Okerlund, who was wearing a tuxedo earlier in the show, spits in the face of continuity by wearing a sports jacket as he welcomes Strike Force.

-Craiggers recaps the Bam-Bam Bigelow saga.

-Next, Honky Tonk doubles down on the “Greatest Intercontinental Champion of All Time” claim and Savage wants murder.

SCOTT CASEY & S.D. JONES vs. SHADOWS
-Gorilla and Alfred joke about Alfred screwing up a while back and referring to Scott as “My good friend, Fred Casey.” I miss these casual, freewheeling moments that the commentators used to have.

-Scott starts with #1 (Fat Shadow). #1 applies a wristlock and Casey grabs onto the referee’s shoulder and uses it to backflip himself out of the hold. Nice! #1 tries to throw punches, but everything gets blocked and Casey hits an atomic drop, followed by a shoulderblock. Crucifix gets two. Casey gets flying headscissors and holds onto it to try to get the submission. #1 survives, but he’s had enough and makes the tag. SD steps in, too, and we get a shoulderblock by SD. Hard clothesline grounds #2. Casey & Jones work the arm as I suddenly realize that Vince should have kept these guys together and given them a train engineer gimmick.

-#1 steps back in and targets the very black head of SD Jones. That backfires like you’d expect and the Choo-Choos work his arm. #2 hits a well-timed knee to the back from the apron. Backbreaker by #1 gets two. The Shadows switch off behind the referee’s back and #1 runs into a headbutt by Casey. #1 misses a charge. Casey makes the tag, but Shadows distract the referee AND switch off illegally for good measure, but Casey won’t say die.

-Casey gets fed up and starts going after the mask, but the Shadows manage to outwrestle him and #1 suplexes him. SD Jones breaks the pin and they retaliate by double-teaming and switching again. Bearhug by #2. Casey starts to untie the mask, but the Shadow hangs onto the bearhug anyway, so Casey claps his hands in miraculous fashion. If clapping your hands is enough to break a bearhug, why don’t you do it immediately?

– Casey finally makes the tag and SD Jones is a house of fire. Noggin knocker, punches, abdominal stretch, but SD doesn’t have the leg hooked according to Gorilla, so he sucks and will be fined $500 for good measure. Anyway, Casey gets knocked out to the floor and the Shadows double-team Jones until one Shadow accidentally clotheslines the other out of the ring, and Jones rolls him up for the pin. I’d call it a surprise, but you actually had some pretty good workers in there.

KING KONG BUNDY, HERCULES, KING HARLEY RACE, & RAVISHING RICK RUDE (with Bobby Heenan) vs SPECIAL DELIVERY JONES, RUDY RYDER, DUSTY WOLFE, & BRADY BOONE
-Herc puts a nice twirl on a backbreaker to start off. Harley Race suplexes Wolfe over to his corner for fresh blood. Rudy Ryder gets slammed as we get words from Andre the Giant, who says he’s a proud member of the Heenan Family.

-Short clothesline and a knee by Rude. Snap suplex by Rude, and in comes Bundy, and the crowd is all, “Oh, this is it.” Bundy just helps with a double-team and then leaves immediately instead of finishing it. Rude comes off the top rope with a fistdrop. Rude decides to pose instead of finishing. Bundy tags in again, avalanching Ryder and dropping a big-ass elbow to get the th—the five count.

-Craig DeGeorge is on the interview platform, with Ken Patera wearing a big-ass plaster cast. He screwed up his arm slamming a jobber and they’ve retconned it to an injury caused by that group attack that the Heenan Family carried out a while back. Patera warns them all that the plaster cast is “a weasel whacker.” Good night, everybody!

-Ted DiBiaise arrives at the interview platform and complains about being in the “fruit-picking capital of the world,” San Francisco. Ted pulls a kid out of the crowd and tells him to do some push-ups. DiBiase offers him $300 if he can do ten push-ups. The kid hits a wall at nine but insists he did his best. DiBiase refuses to pay him off. The kid should have done a girl push-up to save his energy.

-Gorilla hypes the next match as the farewell bout of The Duke of Dorchester.

LEAPING LANNY POFFO vs. “The Duke of Dorchester” PETE DOUGHERTY
-Dougherty does the logical thing, like it or not, by just attacking Lanny during his poem and taking him out to the floor. Duke continues the assault back in the ring, pulling Poffo’s jacket over his face for a hockey-style beatdown. Duke chokes Poffo while Gorilla implores the referee to do something, even if it’s wrong.

-Poffo begins to show life with punches and kicks. ‘Rana grounds the Duke and Poffo continues his own assault until Dougherty heads to the floor to regroup. Back in, Poffo applies a wristlock and Duke gets to the ropes for a clean break. Test of strength threatens to go Duke’s way, so Poffo just lays down and flips him with headscissors. Stepover toehold by the Dukester. Poffo gets free and tries to work the arm. Duke reverses it, but Lanny hangs on and bridges, turning the Duke’s hold against him and creating a grapevine/pinning combo. Both men start to show their aggressive side again with punches and elbows. Poffo faceplants Dougherty and rolls him up for a two-count.

-Duke goes to the eyes to get the advantage back and drops a few knees. Dougherty turns his back and Poffo sits straight up to show the crowd he’s not really hurt. Dougherty gets to the top rope and Poffo Flair-slams him and gets a few near falls from that. Dougherty begins fighting back again and they battle for a front facelock, but they get frustrated with it and just trade punches again. Dougherty goes for a backdrop and Poffo PUNTS him with a kick that resonates through the entire Garden. Poffo gets a backdrop of his own and slams Dougherty in place for the moonsault, but the Duke raises his knees to counter it. Slam by the Duke, and he follows with a backbreaker for the three-count. 1 for 1. Holy crap, what got into these two guys tonight? They never took a break, they moved at 100 MPH almost from bell-to-bell and broke out a pretty good variety of maneuvers. Good match!

GEORGE “The Animal” STEELE vs KING HARLEY RACE
-Steele chases the King out of the ring. Match starts proper with Race throwing punches. Awkward-looking piledriver follows, but a diving headbutt misses and Steele starts punching away again. Irish whip and Harley does his spectacular sell of that and flips out onto the floor. Steele rams Harley into the post and brings him back in. You know that scene in My Girl where the fight breaks out during the Bingo game? This match looks like that scene, if Dan Aykroyd hadn’t stepped in to break it up.

-Steele brings a chair into the ring, but Hercules shows up to come to the rescue. Scott Casey and Lanny Poffo show up to try to aid Steele, but Herc and Harley just dump them out of the ring. Powers and Roma show up to help, and that brings out King Kong Bundy, so the Heenan Family is just murdering everybody…until Bam-Bam Bigelow shows up and clears the ring. That’s a push.

4.3

The final score: review Poor

The 411

Pete Dougherty was the match of the week. So that's where we are with this episode.