wrestling / Video Reviews
Prime Time Wrestling (7.10.1989) Review
Loading...-Originally aired July 10, 1989.
-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan, and it’s odd how barren the set looks after weeks of the No Holds Barred loot scattered everywhere. Gorilla breaks the news to Bobby that absolutely no Heenan Family members are on the show this week. No matches, no promos, no clips. No Heenan Family at all this week, and Heenan is boiling about it.
AKEEM (with Slick) vs. CHRIS ALLEN
-Tony Schiavone saying “Jive Soul Bro” is more than enough justification for this match to be on the show. Akeem hammers down Allen and thrusts his balls mightily into Allen’s shoulders. Of note in this match is how shitty Akeem’s gear looks. It’s faded, there’s a visible stain, and the map of Africa has totally worn off the back.
-Avalanche by Akeem, and a big splash finishes. Okay, great, use the winner’s purse to buy some new tights.
-Back in the studio, The Brain is fired up about still being called “co-host” after three years.
UPDATE
-An altercation broke out last week on The Brother Love Show. Mean Gene sums up what a different time this was by mentioning that the altercation involved Tito Santana, “a changed Rick Martel, and his new manager, Slick.” It’s been three months. We get words after the altercation from Rick Martel, who is approximately six bottles of baby oil angry about it. Tito Santana responds with about four bottles of baby oil in his fury.
-Bobby is talking more and more about what else he could do if he ever suddenly decides to quit Prime Time.
BRUTUS “The Barber” BEEFCAKE vs. GREG EVANS
-They trade punches and Beefcake gets tired of that and slams Evans down. Sleeper finishes right away.
-Bobby gripes about “Tony Jabroni” joining the commentary team without anyone asking Bobby how he felt.
DINO BRAVO (with Jimmy Hart) vs. BRAD PERRY
-From “Superstars of Wrestling,” with Ronnie Garvin as the referee. Dino slams Perry and clotheslines him. Bravo works him over in the corner as Jesse voices his suspicion that something is amiss about having Garvin officiate this. Dino goes for a pin and Garvin refuses to count because Perry’s foot is under one of the ropes. Big elbow by Dino looks to finish, but Dino picks Perry up at two. So Dino hits the side suplex and goes for the pin…but Dino picks him up again. Jesse is pretty funny, marveling over the jobber’s ability to kick out of these devastating moves repeatedly. Dino hangs Perry upside down in the corner and puts the boots to him, going well past the five-count, and finally, Garvin gets fed up and calls for the bell, and Brad Perry gets the surprise win by DQ.
-Full-blown fist fight erupts between Garvin and Bravo after the match, and a herd of referees hit the ring to pull them apart. Good angle!
BUSHWHACKERS vs. BARRY HARDY & SONNY AUSTIN
-Bushwhackers double-team…well, they say it’s Austin, but I’m pretty sure it’s Barry Hardy. There are some jobbers you just don’t forget. Austin, wearing monogrammed tights that say “Sonny,” so yeah, comes in, and the Bushwhackers make him wear a Bushwhackers cap while they beat him up. Hardy tags back in and takes a battering ram and a double stomachbreaker to end it.
-Gorilla and Bobby are now having a full-blown shouting match, and it’s so DIFFERENT from their usual bickering that you can sense that something’s up.
EVENT CENTER
-Flying in the face of the thing that had Bobby so angry earlier, here’s Rick Rude cutting a promo, and Sean Mooney makes it sound like he just won the belt yesterday when it happened three months ago. Jim Neidhart is ready for singles AND tag action as they’re slowly giving up on that split for the second year in a row.
HONKY TONK MAN (with Jimmy Hart) vs. AL BURMICE
-Jimmy Snuka cuts an ominous promo while Honky strikes Burmice down with kicks. Honky works the neck over. There’s an enormous banner in the arena for a local radio station, sending me to Google, and congrats to WCMF for #1, still existing in 2019, and #2, apparently not being rebranded at any point into some stupid-ass nickname like “96.5 The Toad.” Shake, Rattle, and Roll finishes.
-Gorilla wants to know why Heenan suddenly ordered a bunch of new furniture and had it sent to the studio…and furthermore, why was Gorilla billed for it?
EVENT CENTER
-Hercules says he hears people predicting that this year will be the hottest summer on record. Better get used to that, Herc. The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers explain that they have an 18-wheeler parked outside after all of their MSG appearances to deliver all of their fan mail.
-Gorilla scolds Bobby because he found out Bobby was sitting in his chair last week, and Bobby has a funny retort, suspecting Gorilla’s also mad because somebody ate his porridge.
KOKO B. WARE vs. GREG “The Hammer” VALENTINE (with Jimmy Hart)
-Valentine slams Koko a few times and puts the elbows to him. Koko fights back with chops and headbutts. Atomic drop by Koko, and Koko’s upper body is ENORMOUS here. This guy is…really eating quite a few vitamins it looks like. Valentine fights back and gets a sudden pin with his feet on the ropes, but Ronnie Garvin strolls in and tattles on Valentine, and he successfully gets the decision reversed, and it’s a win for Koko. Nothing much to the match, but I really did like this storyline, with Garvin just making Valentine’s life a living hell until Valentine cracked and gave him what he wanted.
SPECIAL INTERVIEW
-Mean Gene welcomes Demolition while Bobby Heenan confidently predicts “It’s a matter of time.” Ax is still trying to get “The Slim Towers” over as a diss.
-Gorilla pretty much tells Bobby to shit or get off the pot after listening to him tease leaving the show for weeks. Gorilla finally tells him how easily replaceable he is as co-host, and Bobby finally, finally, finally yanks off his microphone, says goodbye, and walks off the set. Gorilla actually doesn’t believe him at first, predicting that he’ll just walk back onto the set in a few segments and act like nothing happened.
SUPERFLY JIMMY SNUKA vs. TOM STONE
-The Genius has a poem telling Snuka he should retire instead of messing with the Honky Tonk Man. I like how they relaunched The Genius without any idea about what the hell to do with him; they just keep shoehorning him into other people’s issues. Snuka makes short work of Stone, chopping him down and finishing with the Superfly splash.
EVENT CENTER
-Mr. Perfect warns the WWF that he’s about to “shift gears” and everybody had better look out for what he’s about to do. Ultimate Warrior promises to get his title belt back and conquer a giant in the process.
TONY SCHIAVONE’S COLISEUM CORNER – 2 OUT OF 3 FALLS FOR SOME REASON: HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN & HART FOUNDATION vs. DINO BRAVO & FABULOUS ROUGEAU BROTHERS (with Frenchy Martin and Jimmy Hart)
-From the 1989 Royal Rumble.
-Joined in progress at Fall One. Some well-timed cheating from the Rougeaus causes Bret to fall over the top and crash to the floor. Side suplex by Bravo, and Le Bombe De Rougeau takes the first fall.
-FALL TWO: Bret is required to start the match and the heels trade off unloading their arsenals on him, but nobody can get a three-count. Rougeaus do their genuflect-and-stomachbreaker double-team that somebody really needs to bring back. Bearhug by Dino while the Houston crowd chants “USA” to motivate the Hitman. Yes. Gorilla suggests that Bret should make a tag and get a fresh man in there.
-Weird blown spot where Dino sends Bret into the ropes and Bret clutches his head and collapses in pain. Gorilla has absolutely no idea how to call it because nobody did anything. “Caught part of that one, it was a glancing blow.” False tag to Neidhart and Neidhart does a great “WTF?” face when the referee makes him go back to the apron. Jimmy yells “Give it up!” during an abdominal stretch and Bret looks right at him and screams “Never!” There are also wrestling moves going on during this match, but I enjoy the little things.
-Jacques tries a monkey flip but Bret turns it into an inverted atomic drop and FINALLY makes the tag. Crowd goes crazy for Hacksaw and he takes on all three guys at once. Slightly blown finish to the fall sees Hacksaw slingshot Anvil on top of Raymond. Anvil goes for a pin and the referee freezes. Duggan does the spot again with Bret; Bret goes for the pin and again the referee freezes. Everybody finally takes the hint and Duggan, the legal man, goes for the pin and gets the three-count.
-Wanna see fall three? Get your ass down to Hollywood Video or wherever! I always liked this match though, it’s a fun one.
ULTIMATE WARRIOR vs. MIKE WILLIAMS
-Warrior clotheslines Williams out to the floor and knocks him around while we get words from Rick Rude. Interesting thing: the Warrior promo we saw earlier appears to have been taped immediately after this match. Back in the ring, the gorilla press finishes, and Warrior begins his new post-match ritual, carrying the jobber on his shoulders back to the locker room.
-Back in the studio, Gorilla is kind of surprised that Bobby isn’t back yet.
BROTHER LOVE
-Brother Love welcomes Sensational Sherri and she comes out wearing a black lace outfit, and even Vince can’t keep up the babyface act of pretending she’s ugly. Seriously, if you want to see Sherri at Peak Smokeshow, this is THE episode. She introduces Randy Savage, who worries that Hulk and Brutus are thinking about double-teaming him. I’d be concerned about that too, Randy. And now the reason we’re all here, as Randy announces that he has a partner who actually will have his back, Zeus. Together, they call out Hulk and Brutus for a tag team match. DIG IT! Zeus finishes with the soundbite of the year, warning Hulk Hogan and “Beefcake Barber” of their impending destruction.
-Now we take a trip to the Americana Butcher Shop, where Dusty is wearing an apron with no shirt underneath and heads into the meat freezer. The actual butcher in this segment has this incredulous look on his face, as he doesn’t seem to get what this segment is even supposed to be, and Dusty makes a joke about being “full of bologna” that sums it up fine. There’s just no reason for this segment. It’s such an odd build.
-Bobby announces that beginning next week, he’ll have his own TV show, and the staff isn’t welcome in his studio, and Gorilla isn’t welcome either. Bobby takes his name plate off the desk and walks off. Gorilla reacts with some surprise that Bobby Heenan actually seems to be serious about this and has some kind of plan in place.
“The Million Dollar Man” TED DIBIASE (with Virgil) vs. MARIO MANCINI
-DiBiase announces that going forward, he wants to be introduced as “Million Dollar Man, Million Dollar Champion, and the man who ended Jake the Snake’s career.” Still fewer names than Ed Leslie.
-DiBiase tries to taunt Mancini with the belt, and Mancini shocks him by slapping the belt away. DiBiase is furious, powerslamming him and putting him away with the Million Dollar Dream.
-Gorilla gives out an address for anyone who wants to send a get-well-soon card to Jake. The WWF Merchandise Catalog that comes in your mail a month later will probably just be a coincidence.
EVENT CENTER
-We get words from Brutus Beefcake, who promises to cut one, or something. Next we hear shockingly from Brooklyn Brawler and Bobby Heenan, even though the Brawler push is DONE at this point and Heenan isn’t even accompanying him to the ring.
-Gorilla gets confirmation that Heenan wasn’t joking around and that something called “The Bobby Heenan Show” really will air next week.
HILLBILLY JIM vs. BORIS ZHUKOV
-This is our feature match. Let’s just take a minute to digest that.
-Hillbilly stomps on Zhukov’s foot and applies a side headlock. Punches by Hillbilly. Boris comes back with elbows and tries a nerve hold. Hillbilly gives him shots to the belly to break it. Boris gets distracted by the shiny horseshoe and plots to purloin it, but Hillbilly fights back with some dancing, and a big boot to the face finishes.
-That, again, was the feature match.
-Gorilla confirms that during the last match, he was able to find a new co-host, which was easily a better use of his time than watching that feature match. Gorilla says that the new host will be a surprise and invites us all to tune in next week. I will.
