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Reviewing The Rumbles: 2003

January 15, 2017 | Posted by Rob Stewart
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Reviewing The Rumbles: 2003  

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2003: The New Blood

2001 may have marked the end of the Monday Night Wars and, essentially, the attitude era, but by-and-large, early 2002 still felt like a lot of the same product that started in the late 90’s. 2003 would bring us the first Rumble that truly felt like a post-Attitude world. And with so many of the Attitude era stars having all won at least one Rumble, having a young star win the Rumble would really solidify that…

The Participants

1. Shawn Michaels (back full-time after overcoming his addictions and injuries and godlessness)
2. Chris Jericho
3. Christopher Nowinski (not off in the real world studying brain injuries yet)
4. Rey Misterio
5. Edge
6. Christian
7. Chavo Guerrero Jr.
8. Tajiri
9. Bill Demott (I actually had no memory that he really WRESTLED in WWE. I just knew him as a crappy WCW wrestler and a crappy human being trainer)
10. Tommy Dreamer
11. B2 (Apparently Bull Buchanan with a hip new name?)
12. Rob Van Dam
13. Matt Hardy V.1
14. Eddie Guerrero
15. Jeff Hardy
16. Rosey
17. Test
18. John Cena
19. Charlie Haas
20. Rikishi
21. Jamal (of 3 Minute Warning. The Man Who Would Be Umaga)
22. Kane
23. Shelton Benjamin
24. Booker T
25. A Train
26. Maven (He was around A WHOLE YEAR?)
27. Goldust
28. Batista
29. Brock Lesnar
30. The Undertaker (who, thank god, had dropped the Limp Bizkit music by this point)

The Final Four
4th – Batista (eliminated by Taker)
3rd – Kane (eliminated by Taker)
2nd – The Undertaker (eliminated by Brock Lesnar)
1st – Brock Lesnar

Notes/Thoughts

-This is the first Royal Rumble of the brand split era, but it’s not SUPER prominent yet (i.e., the announcers aren’t playing up their “side”, and there doesn’t seem to be any cross-brand enmity).

-The Pre-Match video doesn’t give much away, as it’s just Kane and Rob Van Dam–who were teaming at this point–discussing how Kane will do ANYTHING to win, and that it is one against all.

-There’s drama at the very start, as Christian impersonates Jericho for Y2J’s entrance, allowing Jericho to sneak in behind Shawn. They have a short stretch that Jericho dominates, and he gets Shawn out pretty easy. Jericho leaves Shawn bloody and battered to kick off this Rumble with intensity.

-I just thought one segment early was amusing: Edge and Rey are BOTH faces (and may have already been tag partners by here), but they simultaneously go for the “fake handshake into a kick to the gut” moment. It makes sense for Edge because that plays into who he ultimately ended up being deep down, but Rey? I am appalled by your behavior, young man.

-I really had no idea how long they kept up the “Edge and Christian are brothers” thing. Honestly, I thought they had dropped that fallacy by the time they split from Gangrel, but here it is, years later, and the announcers are still referring to them as “brothers” (and not, in my inference, in the sense of two guys who are just tightly bonded).

-Matt Hardy pops out, and he’s running the V.1 angle with MATT FACTS! Tonight’s Matt Fact is that Matt Hardy V.1 strongly dislikes mustard. Well nuts to him then; it’s my favorite condiment. Matt also has his little Mattitude Follower, Shannon Moore with him. Was Moore always completely worthless? His big moment in the match is that his idea to protect Matt from Jeff’s Swanton Bomb is to lie on top of Matt.

-Even early on before we get halfway through the Rumble, this one really feels like a new era. It actually feels like Attitude is over, and the new generation is moving in (to say nothing of the brand split). A lot of the mainstays from previous Rumbles are M.I.A., and several new guys are making their Rumble debut here (Rey, Chavo, Tajiri, RVD, Eddie, Tommy Dreamer… and those are just the guys I noted early on, to say nothing of Cena, Batista, Brock, and the World’s Greatest Tag Team later on).

-John Cena raps his way to the ring, and he takes up pretty much his entire 90 seconds to do so.

-Between entrances #11 and #12, Jericho scrubs the ring clean, but it fills up pretty quickly thereafter, and it’s a while before anyone is eliminated (the next guy out from that point is Jeff Hardy after #19).

-The announcers note that Rikishi had been in more Rumbles than anyone else at this point, as 2003 was his EIGHTH. I actually couldn’t fathom that, but upon further review… it is true! It makes me wonder what Samu did with his life.

-Jericho has just an incredible survival from an elimination attempt by Kane where Chris’ feet dangle, and avoid the floor by what HAS to be less than an inch. I had to keep rewatching that because it looked like he must have botched and touched the floor, but… nope.

-Jericho would be earn Rumble’s Iron Man push, lasting through #25 when a bandaged HBK would storm out to pitch him. An incensed Shawn also beat the hell out of anyone who came near him (notably Matt Hardy and John Cena). Shawn and Jericho would continue this feud at Wrestlemania (in what would be the start of a trend for Shawn where his Rumble elimination would be fodder for his WM storyline several times in the next few years).

-A handsome young man by the name of Dave Batista enters the match at #28, and someone has to tell me how John Cena looks the EXACT SAME from 2003 to 2016, but Batista looks like he’s aged about 25 years in the same timeframe.

-Brock is on a tear right away, eliminating Matt Hardy and both members of Team Angle in but moments.

-Maven gets to relive his one shining moment by dropkicking Undertaker from behind while the latter is near the ropes. It doesn’t eliminate ‘Taker this year, but Maven doesn’t see that right away, giving us a great show of Maven celebrating like he just won the papacy while an underwhelmed Taker stalks up behind him to trash him.

-I can never stand how dumb tag team partners have to act in Royal Rumble matches. Here, Kane and RVD start beating people down until Kane tells RVD to run at him for a tandem move. Kane uses the tactic to just toss RVD out of the ring, and I ask–as always–what sense does this make in booking? Keep your partner around; ESPECIALLY if you are the bigger, more dominant partner like Kane here or Rikishi in 2000! They can only help you until the very end.

-Not only is this the hossiest Final Four in Rumble history, it’s also one of the more entertaining to this point. Batista, Kane, Brock, and Taker have a good little bout between the four of them before Brock finally takes it.

Rankings

1. 2001 (Austin III) – 10/10

2. 1992 (Flair) – 9/10

3. 1998 (Austin II) – 8/10
4. 1997 (Austin I) – 8/10

5. 2002 (HHH I) – 7/10

6. 2003 (Lesnar) -5/10
7. 1989 (Studd) – 5/10
8. 1996 (Michaels II) – 5/10
9. 1999 (McMahon) 5/10

10. 1993 (Yokozuna) – 4/10
11. 1990 (Hogan I) – 4/10
12. 1994 (Hart/Luger) – 4/10

13. 1991 (Hogan II) – 3/10
14. 2000 (The Rock) – 3/10

15. 1995 (Michaels I) – 2/10
16. 1988 (Duggan) – 2/10

5.0
The final score: review Not So Good
The 411
Entertaining final four aside, this was a perfectly average Rumble. Jericho lasted a while, but he never felt like genuine threat to win (Trips had buried Jericho back to the midcard in 2002), and everyone else in the Top 11 was gone quickly, so the first third felt negligible. The Brand Split was a thing, but not really played up yet, so there was little drama between shows in play.
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