wrestling / News

Serpentico Celebrates Win With Press Release, Declares Himself Undefeatedman

June 22, 2022 | Posted by Jeremy Thomas
Serpentico

Serpentico picked up a win on this week’s AEW Dark, and he celebrated the win via a press release and new moniker. The AEW star got his first win since October by defeating Vary Morales on AEW Dark. In response, he issued a press release declaring himself “UNDEFEATEDMAN” and issuing a series of demands he feels that he deserves.

You can see the full press release below:

CONTACT INFORMATION
CHAOS PROJECT LLC
SNAKE MAN
aka Serpentico
[email protected]

RELEASE DATE
06/22/2022

SNAKEMAN WINS!
Aew’s serpentico celebrates historic win on #aewdark

1234 CHAOS WAY, Jacksonville, FL

In what can only be described as the most historic night in AEW history, your very own Serpentico aka SNAKEMAN aka SNAKE Daddeh overcame insurmountable odds and gained his first victory of 2022. As such, he is now declaring himself as UNDEFEATEDMAN (cause he’s undefeated during the week of 6/19 thru 6/25 so far, ya see) and has made the following decrees and demands:

1) You are no longer allowed to boo SNAKEMAN.
2) He requires his own traveling bus equipped with EVERY videogame console known to man. Even the crappy bootleg ones that were sold at K-Mart.
3) Bring back K-Mart.
4) Nyla Rose is banned from twitter.
5) Luther will now be known as LORD Luther as he is the rightful heir to a small island in the Maldives.
6) All airports are to replace their hideous carpets for more environmentally friendly (and way, way better to look at) flooring. Like bamboo. But not too much bamboo cause Panda’s need food.
7) Satnam Singh is now a member of CHAOS PROJECT. He’s like 19ft tall so we’ll need Ms Sandra to make him a big ass CP track suit.
8) Oh yeah SNAKEMAN will also unify every title in AEW and become the AEW ELDEN LORD and will only defend said unified title when he sees fit. (So no Saturdays or Sundays cause those are dog days)

SNAKEMAN LLC is a worldwide conglomerate of CHAOS PROJECT LLC or whatever the lawyer guy said to write here. Why are you still reading lol

article topics :

Serpentico, Jeremy Thomas