Stew Thumbs Up For Summerslam

First of all, I make far too many play-on-words with my last name, but damn it, it’s a good last name and I’ve had it for literally every single second of my life. I’m going to get usage out of it where I can.

Secondly of all, I was a big fan of WWE’s SummerSlam 2018. From what I have seen, the reaction to the show has been mixed (in its wake, I ran afoul of some Twitterbugs that absolutely despised it, and Csonka and Kevin here gave it good-not-great grades), but I really enjoyed the whole shebang, personally. To me, it’s the WWE show of 2018 so far! Like I said, I ran into some folks on Twitter whose reaction to that was something along the lines of “Well, that’s like saying Godfather Part 3 is one of the 3 best Godfather movies” or “If you thought this show was great, NJPW would melt your soul”. The first thing, about the Godfather, that doesn’t even make sense; I don’t know where that guy was coming from.

The second point? I mean, yeah… I like NJPW (and Lucha Underground and some RoH, too), but that doesn’t detract from my enjoyment of WWE. They are different products seeking about accomplishing different endgames. Telling someone that they shouldn’t like WWE because NJPW exists is like telling me I can’t enjoy the television program Supernatural because Breaking Bad exists. I mean, yes, one is objectively better than the other, and it is more critically successful and poignant, but they aren’t striving to be the same show. They are both loosely related under the same umbrella of “being a television show”, but their objectives are entirely different, and I can appreciate that. I enjoy well-acted, award winning dramatic TV, and also enjoy dumbass Supernatural. They scratch different itches!

I also enjoy the comic book The Dark Knight Returns, as well as friggin’ Darkhawk from 1990’s Marvel. Different things are different is what I’m saying! Sidebar… shout out in the comments if you’re a Darkhawk fan. It can’t possibly be just me.

(If you DO feel like talking Darkhawk or Dark Knight Returns, check out my podcast and blog at Ghosts Of The Stratosphere where we talk way too damn much about comic books and other assorted pop culture junk!)

I’m meandering, but yes, the point is: I thought SummerSlam was a great show. Was it flawless? No. But I thought it had a lot of diversity across its matches, a plethora of entertainment value, and a bunch of great endings. Let’s take a look at all the matches from SummerSlam proper, and I’ll tell you what I mean…

SETH ROLLINS VS DOLPH ZIGGLER – This was just a really good wrestling match to start SummerSlam (is it… is it SummerSlam or Summerslam? I feel like I am using them interchangeably with abandon, and that isn’t cool; gotta try to stick to one). These two came out, went at it for a while with a lot of action, and eventually the babyface with more forward momentum won. Right call. There were occasional outside shenanigans with Drew McIntyre wanting to get involved but Dean Ambrose refusing to let him, but these added to match rather than detracted from it. The most notable of which was Dean planting Drew with Dirty Deeds, which distracted Seth so that it looked like Dolph would capitalize. Fortunately, Seth was still too on top of Ziggler, and he got the win instead. Everyone was happy–except maybe the guy with the “Give Me Dolph Or Give Me Death” sign at every show–they held off on the too-predictable Dean heel turn (so we’ll hopefully have fun with Seth and Dean as buddies again for a while longer), and the right guy won. Everything was good.

THE NEW DAY VS THE BLUDGEON BROTHERS – Okay, I WILL say: I didn’t care for the ending here. For a multitude of reasons (they were going to do it again later in the night; if the Bludgeons were going to retain, they should have looked strong; there is no reason to further this feud because Smackdown Live has so many other tag teams), but it just wasn’t optimal. That said, it was an undercard match without tons of drama, so if you are going to disappoint me, here is a good place to do it. Even with that, though, the MATCH was good leading up to the finish, and I enjoyed watching it. It was frantic and fast-paced, and just a bit if fun. Saying it disappointed me is actually an overstatement.

KEVIN OWENS VS BRAUN STROWMAN – One of the things I have seen folks complain about in regards to SummerSlam is that there were too many squashes. I mean… yeah? There were approximately a hundred matches in four hours; there had to be a few that were short and to-the-point, and I think all the ones that were should have been; including this one. Owens has spent the last two months cowering and running from Braun, so for him to come out and evenly compete with him would have been nonsense. Is it weird/silly that KO did not have ANY kind of plan and seemed to think he could just have a wrestling match with The Monster Among Men? Probably. But I’m happy the briefcase did not change hands (as I noted in the preview to the show; I don’t like when it has to be defended), and Braun winning with ease kept the hope alive of the main event cash in.

CARMELLA VS BECKY LYNCH VS CHARLOTTE – All right, so two things: This wasn’t a great match. It was clunky and had a few botches and mis-timed moments. To watch this was not to love it. And then Charlotte won because of course she did, and I’m not sure Ric Flair is her real father. I think we should DNA test her because she seems more like a Cena to me most of the time. That said, there were two things to gush over here. First is Carmella, who may be a terrible professional wrestler, but is a wonderful… uh… shouty-at-your-opponent-all-match person? Whatever that would be. She genuinely made me laugh as she just cackled and hollered every time she was in control. Much like Chris Jericho’s old “ASK HIM! ASK HIM REF!” schtick, she makes rest holds a bit more pleasant to sit through. Second is obviously the post-match. Becky and Charlotte had a touching moment that degenerated into Lynch MAULING Charlotte to a jubilant crowd. That crowd made it all worthwhile because they essentially drew a line in the sand and DARED WWE to spin this as Becky turning heel. Everyone loves Becky, and we aren’t going to jeer her, WWE. You might as well find some way to make Charlotte the villain here.

SAMOA JOE VS AJ STYLES – Am I the only one who worried about Joe’s safety on the Styles Clash? To me, he really didn’t look ready for it when AJ hit the move, and I was concerned for his head and/or neck. Whoof. Sometimes that move makes me cringe when I watch it. Aside from that, this was a match that just built… and built… and built… and then erupted. For a while, I was feeling very Nakamura/Styles-at-‘Mania about the whole thing (underwhelmed), but they just kept progressing. Joe teased the Muscle Buster literally within 60 seconds of my posting on Twitter that I missed it and liked it more than the sleeper hold he does now. What big match ends in a sleeper hold in 2018? And then that ending. Joe was deviously delightful and genuinely creepy in his words to AJ’s wife, and that led to the ending that makes perfect sense for match #1 of their feud. Everyone looks good: AJ looks strong for walloping Joe; Joe looks strong for winning and goading AJ into defeat; and even AJ’s kid looked good with her sad little “Daddy, you’re bleeding” and then squirming when he tried to take her from her mom. I liked this bout more and more as it went on, and it did everything it needed to.

THE MIZ VS DANIEL BRYAN – Literally nothing to complain about here. The match was long and intense. The fans were rabid. Both guys put in a solid effort. It had the ending it 100% was supposed to have. Like with the squashes, another complaint bandied about online was that there were too many shady endings with Miz cheating to win here after the disqualification finishes earlier, but honestly… Bludgeons/New Day is the only match where the conclusion wasn’t quite appropriate; the ending here was exactly what it needed to be to move the story forward (and what I said I’d hoped for in the Preview article). Perfect stuff all around. Thanks, WWE; I’ll take about half a dozen more from these two just like this one. Oh, and love to Bryan for wearing the colors of his and my favorite team, the Seattle Seahawks. I anticipate seeing them spending a lot of time jobbing this season, too, so it got me mentally prepared a month early.

FINN BALOR VS CONSTABLE BARON CORBIN – Another squash, but another well-deserved one. Balor gave us a surprise Demon appearance (and I don’t care that this was unannounced; sometimes surprises are nice) and decimated a shocked and confused Corbin in moments. Corbin spends so much time playing a disaffected hardass that his “OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT” reaction to The Demon was priceless. Demon Balor has a much higher ceiling than Corbin, so everything here was the right call again.

SHINSUKE NAKAMURA VS JESS HARDY – Imagine being told “Okay, yeah, so you’re match is going on after a stretch of Joe/Styles, Bryan/Miz, and a surprise appearance and squash by Balor as The Demon. Good luck with those fans!”. Me? I was mesmerized by Jeff Hardy’s eye make/contact lenses combo. I never got used to it. Every time he blinked, I was like… “AHH!”; it was my own little impersonation of Baron Corbin from the previous match. This was fine, punctuated by Jeff’s RIDICULOUS Swanton Bomb onto the ring apron (and WWE seemed even more enamored of apron spots this weekend than usual, didn’t they?), and I enjoyed it when I couldn’t see Jeff’s eyes.

Then Randy Orton just… needed to stretch his legs? It WAS a long show; maybe he was stiff back stage. Or did he come out to offer them both a “Good match” handshake but thought better of it? That was weird. Whatever. Inoffensive, but strange.

RONDA ROUSEY VS ALEXA BLISS – Squash number three on the night, and this made sense because WWE kept playing the video of Alexa calling Ronda an overhyped rookie, so–maybe moreso than Kevin Owens earlier in the show–it made sense that Alexa didn’t have a plan. She just got whooped by a better warrior. She even got to do her “Look how twisty and bendy my elbow is” stuff! Ronda won, seemed wholeheartedly excited about the whole thing, and made out with her husband a bit. I remember how “meh” the entire idea of Ronda Rousey in WWE was back at the Royal Rumble, but she has won me over. I, also, don’t give a damn about her bad reputation or whatever.

ROMAN REIGNS VS BROCK LESNAR – Wait, can we talk about Braun Strowman here? He comes out before the match even starts…

Braun: Unlike other Money In The Bank contract holders, I’m not a coward!
Me (and, probably, many others): Oh man! We’re getting a triple threat match because that is what a monstrous babyface in this situation should do!
Braun: So I’m letting you know in advance that I am going to beat you up and steal your belt when you are tired and battered after this contest.
Me: Uh… okay? I mean… sure, I guess. I don’t think that really helps…
Braun: *proud smile*

At least he made a Beastie Boys reference in Brooklyn which was nice.

Ignoring that… boy Roman won this one pretty easily, right? It was six minutes, and Brock… did Brock ever kick out of anything? Was the deciding fall the first one attempted of the match? Wow. But luckily (?), en route to getting crushed by Roman, Brock managed to smash Strowman so we didn’t even get the promised cash in. Eh, okay. So yes, this was the low point of the night. And usually when something ends poorly, that is what will stick with me. But I didn’t care. I really enjoyed the show up to the main event, so I still turned it off feeling fulfilled.

SummerSlam 2018 was not the Breaking Bad of professional wrestling. It was no NXT Takeover. It wasn’t a Wrestle Kingdom or Dominion either. But for an episode of Supernatural… it was pretty damn good.

I’m not sure what I’m talking about anymore, either, oy.