wrestling / Columns

The 411 Wrestling Top 5 12.14.11: Week 152 – Wrestlers You Love to Hate

December 14, 2011 | Posted by Larry Csonka

Hello everyone and welcome to 411 Wrestling’s Top 5 List. What we are going to is take a topic each week and all the writers here on 411 wrestling will have the ability to give us their Top 5 on said topic, plus up to three honorable mentions. Most of our topics will be based on recent events in the Wrestling World, looking at those events that make us think of times past.

So, on to this week’s topic…


Jack Stevenson
Note: This was probably the hardest top 5 I’ve had to do. I always try to look on the positive side when it comes to pro wrestling, and as such there are a lot of obvious candidates for the list that I can’t justify putting on there, simply because I instinctively remember the good things they’ve contributed to wrestling. In the end, I had to narrow it down to five wrestler of whom I have no positive memories of watching, or good things to say about them as a person; for better or for worse, here they are.

5. BRIAN KNOBBS You can judge whether or not someone’s a decent person by whether they like Brian Knobbs or not. He epitomizes the drunken, obnoxious, frat-house mentality that many people think of when they hear “pro wrestling.” Whether it be tasteless jokes about the death of Randy Savage, some of his supposedly hilarious inebriated antics, or generally his sub-par wrestling ability, Brian Knobbs is one of the few wrestlers I genuinely dislike on a personal level.

4. THE SANDMAN – The Sandman had a fun, unique character going for him from about 1994-1997, but as soon as Steve Austin did it better on a national scale, all he had left was his non-existent wrestling ability. ECW’s fanbase might not want to believe it, but in all honesty his best matches came as Hardcore Hak, when he was reigned in to three minute TV matches. In ECW, his bouts tending to be sprawling messes, with sloppy wrestling and repetitive punchy-kicky-weapony action. His feud with Sabu may well have been a nadir for pro wrestling in the nineties. His tendency to go to the ring inebriated made for some bizarre wrestling and often foolhardy moments. Quite frankly, the Sandman was much like ECW itself; decent, even ground-breaking for a few years, but soon unnecessary and just plain awful.

3. SABU I don’t know much about him as a person, but as a wrestler I just don’t understand Sabu’s appeal. Essentially, he’s a spot-monkey, but a really poor one. At least guys like Ruckus or Sonjay Dutt can wrestle five minute matches without putting themselves or their opponents in serious harm; I can’t remember the last Sabu match I watched where something wasn’t botched, often to a dangerous degree. He’s revered by some, and I’ll admit when he arrived on the scene he was something different; a suicidal dangerous high-flyer with a unique, intimidating look. But his time should have passed, the fad should have faded. Nowadays, there are better brawlers, better high-flyers, better pretty much everything. And yet still Sabu is able to procure bookings with promotion like DGUSA, who are meant to be dedicated to quality workrate. It baffles me.

2. LUDWIG BORGA – I should preface this by bringing up the obvious; on the 8th January 2010, Tony Halme, known as Ludwig Borga in the WWF, shot himself in the head. He had been unwell for some time, and it was a tragic end to anyone’s life. In no way do I wish to denigrate the mental suffering he went through in his final months and indeed years. However, this man was not an entertaining wrestler. His character in the WWF was tired and xenophobic, he stuttered from pointless feud to pointless feud, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a truly enjoyable match from him. As a person, he was also questionable. As a representative of the ‘True Finns’ party, he was a member of the Finnish Parliament. The True Finns are comparable to the Tea Party in America, who politically I could never support; however, the True Finns also have uncomfortably racist undertones that outstrip the occasional ignorance of the Tea Party. As a politician, he attracted controversy for branding the Finnish President Tarja Halonen as a “lesbian.” Take all of that out of the picture, and Borga/Halme still didn’t seem a particularly pleasant character- take this quote from the usually diplomatic Jim Ross, on hearing of Halme’s death:

“I won’t speak at length about those that have passed away, but Tony obviously had issues and was not a great guy to be around. Perhaps others have a different view of this man but I personally found him to be somewhat obnoxious, and he could be a bully if allowed to be such. Guys like Halme don’t mix well in any locker room and need to be removed from the ‘team’ sooner than later.”

For me, that sums up the situation aptly. On every level, I have to begrudgingly place Halme high on the list.

1. NEW JACK – Let’s talk a bit about New Jack. Here is a man who has claimed to have committed four justifiable homicides in his life. A man who regularly assaults his opponents in the ring if he feels they are committing a misdemeanor of some kind. A man who, by his own admission, tried to kill Vic Grimes by hurling him off a 30 foot scaffold and trying to make him hit the ringpost. A man who assaulted the 64 year old Gypsy Joe with a barbed wire baseball bat among other objects. A man who has no discernible wrestling talent. And yet people shrug all this off; “oh, it’s just that wacky New Jack! What hilarious antics will he get up to next?” Even if he never did commit or intend to commit the laundry list of crimes he claims to have, the fact that he brags about them anyway is pathetic. New Jack represents the dirt-worst excesses of ECW and the whole hardcore movement, and the sooner he leaves the business the better.

Greg DeMarco
HMMike Bennett: Not really, I just put this here in honor of Ari Berenstein!
HMPaul Roma: Didn’t make the list because I liked him when he was a jobber, in the Young Stallions and loved his Power & Glory pairing with Hercules.
HMMaster P: He wasn’t a real wrestler, so at least he has that excuse. Hootie-Hoo!

5. Mabel/Viscera/Big Daddy V – Maybe it’s aesthetics, maybe it’s the fact that he’s a fat & out of shape Mark Henry, maybe it’s the fact that he was worthless. I never saw the value in this guy, regardless of how he was packaged. And he got to main event a Summer Slam?

4. Any “Doink” whose real name wasn’t Matt Bourne – I absolutely loved heel Doink. In my opinion, the evil clown gimmick never really met its full potential. But once Bourne left the company, Doink was just a glorified jobber working a gimmick that was over. But the whole reason the gimmick was over was thanks to Matt Bourne. Once he left, so did my desire to ever see Doink again.

3. The Nasty Boys – Another example where I just never saw any value or usefulness for a performer/group of performers. I absolutely hated The Nasty Boys, and that was before Brian Knobbs became the modern day Brutus Beefcake. When they won the WWF World Tag Team Championships, I wanted to throw my television out the window. And I was 14. Their reign was the longest 155 days of my wrestling fandom. Their loss to The Legion of Doom that put that reign to rest was a mere mercy killing—the damage was already done.

2. Sean Waltman – I liked him in the Global Wrestling Federation as The Lightning Kid and feuding with Jerry Lynn. And I liked him as The 1-2-3 Kid. After that? I had no use for him. When Syxx showed up in WCW and Waltman showed his real personality, all of that talent was worthless to me. The statement “any heat is good heat, unless it’s X-Pac heat” will always be true to me.

1. Marcus Alexander “Buff” Bagwell – Seriously, what did he ever do that was worthwhile? As Marcus Alexander Bagwell he could do armdrags and have really red cheeks. As Marcus Bagwell he was a part of such great pairings as “Stars N Stripes” and “The American Males.” And his one WWE match was so bad that the company made sure he was mentioned less than Benoit. Yup, I went there. The only reason why I put him at #1 and not Waltman was because I liked Waltman in Global. The place where Bagwell was “The Handsome Stranger.” Yup, I went there, too. The only redeeming quality was that he once married a woman named Judy, thus he was actually married to a Judy Bagwell at one point in his life. Yup, I went there, as well.

TJ Hawke
HMMike Bennett: He’s still too young to be put in the top five, but at the moment, he is one of the least interesting wrestlers on National TV. He is dating Maria though, so he appears to be winning.
HMMason Ryan: Much like Bennett, he is too young to be put into the Top 5. Unlike Bennett, I haven’t seen anything in him that makes me think he can get better.
HMMike Mondo: Worst character in ROH ever. He’s only been on about 8 shows in the last year but I hate him.

5. Triple H: 2002-Present – Triple H’s run of main event matches from 2000 until his first quad tear in 2001 is one of the best runs of great matches ever. His stuff with Mick Foley, The Rock, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Kurt Angle, and Austin during that time is as good as any wrestler has ever been. I firmly believe that. However, after he returned from his first quad injury in 2002, I barely am able to watch him perform in the ring and on the microphone. His matches are lazy and repetitive, often relying on a five moves of doom sequence to rival John Cena. Almost all of his actions serve to put himself over and bury his opponent for no discernible reason. During the last 10 years, he has had some matches that I would no doubt classify as great, but they have been few and far between. Triple H has been a detriment to the wrestling business while in front of the camera for the majority of the last 10 years, and for that, I hate watching him.

4. Sting, the TNA years – Much like Triple H, I have a lot of respect for Sting’s earlier career success and accomplishments. However, since 2006, Sting has been the most consistently pushed character in the supposed #2 wrestling promotion in America, and that makes me want to put my foot through the TV. Sting is not necessarily to blame for this, as any one of us would no doubt except a 6 figure contract annually to go through the motions on National TV, but that doesn’t make me hate the Sting character any less.

3. Matt Morgan – It’s been almost ten years and the man is still having crappy matches. I don’t care what Jim Cornette says, TNA has given this guy so many opportunities to excel, and he has failed every time but one (and that was against Kurt Angle who could make me look like a good wrestler). His matches suck, and he is booked to be an annoying character. He has complete “Go Away” heat with me.

2. Shane Douglas – I’ll preface this blurb by saying that wrestlers are supposed to perform for the moment and not worry about how their matches will be perceived by future generations. Shane Douglas had a really hot character at various points in ECW history, but man does his stuff suck when I watch it now. Watch a random ECW match of his on youtube and odds are, the crowd will be awkwardly quiet except for a few violent spots (and he’s not the only ECW legend I can say that about). I’m sure there were exceptions, and I am sure he is a favorite of many ECW faithful, but the man never did anything for me.

1. Kevin Nash – Most wrestlers speak fondly of Nash, and he seems like he is a friendly, intelligent, and engaging guy. However, as a wrestling performer, I find him so incredibly boring and repetitive. He never seems emotionally invested in what he is doing on screen, which makes it impossible for me to get invested in anything he does. I can’t believe in 2011 that the WWE expects us to pay to see him wrestle on the next PPV. He’s been carried to some great matches before by Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart and a handful of others, but for the most part, the man has been one of the most overpushed wrestlers over the last 20 years. While only the later years of Sting’s and HHH’s careers made me annoyed, Nash’s entire career has been consistently poor.

Wes Kirk
HMMichael Cole: One word sums up this guy in a nutshell: MEDIOCRE.
HMStephanie McMahon: When she was on the TV, it was turned off.
HMHHH: If he were regularly active today the nepotistic bastard would be #1 easily.

5. Hardcore Holly – This guy is just a plain old bitter jerk who deserved to get his ass handed to him for the disgusting incident involving Matt Cappotelli back during Tough Enough 3. Bob Holly showed up to help train the aspiring wrestlers and beat the living hell out of Matt, concussing him and leaving him a beaten, bruised, and even bloody mess as people realized what kind of human being Bob Holly truly was. Holly was a bully who seemed pissed off everybody passed him by in the pecking order because frankly, the only thing he had going for him was the fact he looked like Billy Bob Thornton. He cheated on his wife with a bimbo, he hurt people in the ring unnecessarily such as Carlito during his initial push, and he was hard on everybody because he knew in a month they would be more successful than he was in his entire WWE career. If he were still on TV today I’d rate him #2 without a second thought, but thankfully he isn’t. Good riddance!

4. John Cena – Let me preface this by saying I do not hate Cena the man, because he is a pretty decent human being. I hate John Cena the invincible WWE superhero who is so powerful he can beat two or three wrestlers by himself in elimination matches, seemingly shake off being DDT’d on concrete to pin two people in a minute and a half, never quit in any hold at any time, and beat everybody to become WWE Champion seemingly whenever he wants. The booking of Cena as the superman who can’t be defeated cleanly has got to end, because as a wrestler Cena doesn’t inspire mixed chants due to his overwhelming charisma. He inspires them because half the audience knows he’s not very skilled in the ring and the other half are drooling fan girls and little kids who love him regardless. Cena is the Hulk Hogan of this generation but a lot more humble and easy to work with backstage, and as I said I like the man behind the gimmick but when SuperCena shows up to wrestle I turn the channel because I already know what will happen.

3. ANY ECW/CZW Wrestler Who Goes Too Far – ECW/CZW fans are pretty much like a cult who basically could care less if the wrestlers in the ring die to entertain them as long as they get their blood and gore, which put them in their own category as wastes of life. The scum of the earth that compete in the CZW trying to kill each other with gas powered weed whackers and mercury vapor loaded fluorescent light tubes do not participate in wrestling; They should be arrested for impersonating a wrestler. It is due to the stupidity of the ECW era that people think a garbage can to the head or a piledriver through ten steel chairs is wrestling, and many people have been injured and/or killed because of backyard wrestling attempts to emulate those stunts. Those companies are truly bloodsucking parasites on the anus of wrestling and the only lower form of life than the people who attend it are the people making money off it.

2. Jeff Hardy – Never have so many chances been given to somebody so undeserving as Jeff Hardy. This is a guy who was set for a major angle all the way back in 2002 as a singles wrestler working with The Rock and Trish Stratus until the WWE noticed he had an issue with drugs, so what happened? Hardy REFUSED rehab and quit to go join TNA. After he screwed around in TNA, no-showing events and ruining what little goodwill he had, he went back to the WWE and got blasted time after time with Wellness violations. The WWE STILL gave him a main event run and the title, which he lost before being released from his contract again and being arrested in a huge drug sting back in 2009. Hardy was hired by TNA and proceeded to no-show events, come in late, and perform under the influence which led to his suspension and sadly he was allowed to return to TV recently with his real life problem as his storyline. I doubt it will be long before another headline makes the news that Hardy was fired from TNA for substance abuse issues, and the fact WWE and TNA still give the idiot chance after chance makes me sick.

1. Matt Hardy – I have to confess; I was ahead of the curve. Way back in the mid 00’s I predicted Matt Hardy would flop in his singles career and go on to basically be nothing more than “that guy Jeff tags to when he gets gassed” and unfortunately I was proven right. The slovenly glutton has proved he is incapable of taking personal responsibility for himself and has used his fans, his family, his brother, and various ring rats to keep him safe from the media scrutiny of his behavior. Hardy has a reputation for being a whiny little bitch, missing shows or showing up very late, blaming everybody else for his problems, and can’t perform well in the ring or on the mic to save his life. Matt has turned his life around for the worse, getting arrested seemingly every other week and uploading YouTube videos that made him a laughingstock. Hardy just last week was caught flunking a breathalyzer test and was thrown out of rehab into jail, showing he has absolutely no intention of getting clean even on the WWE’s dollar. I’m done talking about him; he is a true piece of shit.

Ryan Byers
HMPrince Justice Brotherhood: TNA decided to lump three of my least favorite gimmicks of all time – goofball Eric Young, “Stone Cold” Shark Boy, and Curry Man into one stable, and it made me want to throw my remote through the TV. (And I should note that I was a HUGE fan of the M-Pro version of Curry Man before TNA turned it into a racist stereotype.)
HMOrlando Jordan: I’m not even talking about his “bisexual” gimmick, because I never really saw that. I’m talking about WWE-era Jordan, when he was the poster boy for guys who were called up out of developmental too early and had some horrid matches as a result.
HMSpecial K: Easily my least favorite act in the entirety of ROH history. Bunch of skinny kids who didn’t look like wrestlers and couldn’t fill a thimble with what they knew about structuring a match.

5. Shane McMahon – There were some early highlights in Shane McMahon’s in-ring career. I dug him as a cowardly heel against X-Pac, and the debut of his Shane-o Elbow in the street fight with Test as a great “holy shit” moment. However, before long, Shane McMahon as a wrestler became far too overexposed and was put on too equal of footing with actual pro wrestlers despite the fact that he even in storyline had no training and despite the fact that he didn’t look athletic in the slightest. I’ve already written about the Kane feud that infuriated me in recent months in this column, but Shane also did a bunch of ridiculous things like going hold-for-hold with Kurt freakin’ Angle on the mat, getting the better of the Rock in a few spots during the Invasion, and having a surprisingly even (and unsurprisingly boring) Hardcore Title rivalry with Steve Blackman. I generally like Shane as a non-wrestler and everything I’ve heard about him from behind the scenes makes him sound like a cool guy, but there was definitely a period where I hated seeing him every week.

4. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal – When Jay Lethal broke away from Special K in ROH, I didn’t think he was too bad. He had no personality to speak of and was a few steps behind a lot of the other ROH performers in the ring, but he generally worked hard and got the job done. Then Jay Lethal jumped to TNA, where he became one of the banes of my existence. It was funny to see a skinny black kid from New Jersey do a Randy Savage impression exactly once. Then, instead of being a one off, copying the Macho Man became his regular gimmick. Some people called it a parody, but those people don’t understand that parodies are supposed to poke fun at certain aspects of an act instead of, you know, copying the act verbatim but doing it half as well. Even worse was the fact that they tried to make this “comedy” act the face of the X Division and worse still was the GOD AWFUL top rope elbow drop that they made poor Jay Lethal throw. Let’s hope ROH manages to turn him into something useful again.

3. Justin Credible – Paul Heyman has a reputation for having an eye for talent and an ability to package guys in such a way that their shortcomings are hidden and they’re turned into an entertaining character almost no matter what. However, one of his biggest “misses” in terms of talent has to be Justin Credible. We’re over a decade removed from Credible’s big push in ECW, and I STILL have absolutely no idea what this guy’s appeal was supposed to be. His matches? Not bad, but pretty bland. His promos? Not bad, but pretty bland. His look? Insanely bland. Despite this, he was shoved hard down our throats for the last several years of ECW and never got any better. He wasn’t quite as bad when he made the jump to WWE because he was never meant to be anything more than a midcarder, but there was still a stigma from his ECW days that made me significantly less interested in a segment when he was involved.

2. Carlito – One of my big pet peeves in life – not just in pro wrestling but in life – is people who half-ass things. If you’re not very good at something but you give it your best shot, fine. However, if you’re talented but fail because you’re not putting any effort in, I don’t have much time for you. That’s why I absolutely loathed Carlito during his last several years in WWE. There were numerous backstage reports coming out which said that the guy was just in the company to cash a paycheck once he realized that he wasn’t going to be treated like the main eventer that he thought he should be. It would be one thing if those reports existed in a vacuum, as such rumors always have to be taken with a grain of salt. However, the reports were backed up if you watched Carlito’s performances closely, as he moved at half speed through a lot of his matches and screwed things up not because he didn’t know what to do but just because he wasn’t putting in any effort. Of course, this all became the subject of an EPIC half-shoot promo by Ric Flair on an episode of Monday Night Raw, lending more credence to the rumors about the guy’s lack of motivation. Fortunately, he finally got the release he had wanted for some time, and he’s back to being treated like a headliner in Puerto Rico, even if wrestling is near death on the island.

1. Ken Kennedy – I didn’t mind Kennedy when he first showed up in WWE. He could get through a squash match well enough, and I thought that his ring announcer gimmick was entertaining and could have some legs. However, when he started to get into more advanced roles in the company, the wheels fell off and he became perhaps my least favorite wrestler of all time. First off, his in-ring performances were REALLY sloppy. He was doing weird things like making it difficult for other wrestlers to get him up for suplexes and engaging in goofy hit-and-miss selling. Things like this made him look like he hadn’t gotten enough seasoning before getting called up to the big leagues. Then, there were his promos. The guy was good in that he didn’t stumble on his lines and delivered them well, but his mannerisms and delivery quickly evolved (devolved?) into an unapologetic ripoff of Steve Austin, only with about a third of the talent. Finally, there were his media appearances. I’m not a fan of liars, and the several bald-faced lies that Kennedy told about his steroid use – despite clear evidence to the contrary – put me over the top and turned me into one of his biggest haters. Of course, the good news is that he’s now in TNA, where I don’t have to see him.

HMLuther Reigns: Too much leather, not enough skill.
HMThe Nasty Boys: See Greg DeMarco’s blurb
HMJillian Hall: With or without the mole, I never enjoyed her…or her singing.

5. ZACH GOWEN – So if I got my story correct, Vince McMahon heard of a one legged wrestler and wanted him on the show. he ended up hiring the wrong one (apparently there were two?) and we get Zach Gowen. I’m no bigot who dislikes handicaps, in fact I dislike everyone equally, but this was just wrong. It was horrible to watch, every time he was on the screen and for evidence, I take you back to a 2003 match with Brock Lesnar where it was exactly what it looked like, a 290 pound monster decimating a one-legged kid with no chance of winning, ever, against anyone, and rightfully so! To make matters worse, the kid blades so now we’ve got a one-legged child-like man with blood pouring over his face being F-5’ed into a post. This is something I never wanted to see and perhaps it’s not right to hate Zach Gowen for it, maybe he was just a kid trying to live his dream, but after the first match he was in, I just wanted him to go away. Call me heartless, I wish nothing ill towards the guy and am proud of his accolades, but good Lord, he was the last person I wanted to see in the ring.

4. JTG – When the WWE first brought about Cryme Tyme, I thought there was a semblance of hope for a representation of Hip Hop. I wasn’t all high and mighty, considering it to be the be all-end all “change” that was needed. No, I just thought that there would be humor and some good ol’ fashioned fun…boy was I wrong. I don’t blame Shad too much, because he was an imposing figure in the ring and – aside from the singles push he had – he was relatively mobile for a big guy. JTG has continued to bore me on an almost weekly basis, whether it be on NXT or Superstars (it’s not like he’ll be on any of the big shows), with his horribly stereotypical and boring promos, his sorry ass jokes and his weak in ring presence. He truly has nothing to offer and even with the very FEW times he has shown some semblance of talent, he just ruins it the very next time he’s in the ring. I don’t know if he needs more practice or not, because he’s been with the WWE for some time now, but there’s something he’s missing and I hate you for it.

3. RVD – I’ve met the man, I’ve visited his comic book store he had in Lakewood, CA more times than I can count, I’ve shook his hand and all of these instances were quite fun as a fan, but the moment he stepped in the middle of that ring to wrestle, I was bored. Let me be a bit clearer, I’m talking specifically about his WWE-stint, as I’ve seen his matches before and they had a lot going for them. For whatever reason, however, in the WWE he did nothing for me. Every match was the same, and that was only pointed out even more when the commentators would sell him as an innovator and literally say he never uses the same move twice only to see a Rolling Thunder every week, a spinning heel-kick, a split-legged moonsault. Maybe that’s why I dislike him so much, not so much that he had his own five moves of doom, but rather that they sold him as if he didn’t have that at all. Essentially, I was lied to as a fan and I didn’t like that, particularly because I could see the exact opposite of what they were saying all in the ring.

2. JOHN CENA – Oh man, I’ve talked about this more times than I can count. Similar to Wes (and let the comparisons begin), it’s not the man John Cena I hate, but it’s the character of John Cena I hate. When he was freestyling his way into my living room on a weekly basis, I loved it! He had lengthy matches with a nice little ground and pound moveset. On occasion, it will come out in longer matches here in 2011, but by and large we get a different match any number of times. What happens? John Cena gets his ass handed to him a good 80% of the match, he sells this beating for about a minute or so, then he fires back with his five moves of doom, he either locks in an STF or hits the AA, pins and wins. It doesn’t matter if there are two opponents or one, he’s winning and he’s not winning outright, he’s winning like a man who is invincible and has a timeslot to fill. Similar to Hulk Hogan, who I also hated-even as a child, Cena is this generation’s superman, and I get that. I don’t have to like it though. Moreover, his promos always leave something to be desired. He either gets super serious or mega-witty, the problem is that when he’s serious, I can’t take him that way and when he’s mega-witty, he’s just not funny. His jokes are asinine and juvenile and his sad attempts to garner audience participation only go unnoticed. There was a time when I saw John Cena as a shining star, a person who had IT and would go far. Now that he’s gotten there, I’m not sure I like it.

1. MICHAEL COLE – I guess if there’s anything to thank that Wrestlemania match Cole had for, it would be the fact that I can now include him here on this list. I hate you, Michael Cole. Cole brings nothing to a majority of matches he’s commentating and often times only hurts the match he’s supposed to be selling. He’s off topic one moment, selling himself another moment, and calling a wrestler’s moves who hasn’t been around but 5 years vintage. It’s more than boring, it’s annoying and brings absolutely nothing to the show. The thing is, people seem to claim that this is exactly what a heel announcer is supposed to do, he’s supposed to get under your skin, but the thing about Cole is that he does more than “get under your skin,” he makes me want to change the channel. That should NEVER be what you are supposed to do as a heel. As a heel, you want people to see you get yours, you want people to see you maybe lose your job next week, to see you possibly get hurt in a match and take that loss. When the Michael Cole challenge came to fruition, nobody wanted it. Nobody wanted to see it, and when they pushed it off for two weeks, not one person complained. Cole never used to bother me. Sure, he wasn’t the best, but he knew his place and he did well in it. Now, he’s just a person I wish would go away. There are small moments of the former Cole who would focus on the match in the ring more than selling Booker T as a bad announcer or applauding himself, but small moments just are not enough. F-U, Michael Cole.

Francisco Ramirez
HMPaul Roma: Didn’t mind him until he became an internet meme.
HMJohn Morrison: Really, Melina is worth losing it all, Really?

5. The Hardy Boys – Two for the price of one! Man did these guys piss their careers away! First off, as a team these guys were great! Let us not kid ourselves though, they had feuds with other great teams. Having teams that were just as good, if not better, helped the Hardy’s look good. It’s not until they basically split up that I slowly started disliking these two. First off with Jeff, you want to talk about “5 Moves of Doom”? He has his own, I like to call them “The 5 Moves with Douchey-Emo Names”. Whisper in the Wind, Swanton Bomb, Twist of Fate, Double Leg Drop, and a clothesline off of a barricade. For constantly being hailed as an “Innovator” he certainly finished creating moves early in his career. Maybe that has a lot to do with it, after a while he just stopped being creative. The guy was pushed to the moon, the fans ate him up, and we all know how that turned out! Now to Matt, I freaking LOVED V1.0! It’s not until his girl troubles that he just started irritating me. He discovered the internet and it got worse. They tried to push him, it didn’t work out and then Matt just fell apart! I understand the well-known “Demons” had a lot to do with the rise and fall of the Hardy Boys, I get it. I can relate more to Matt since he always seemed to have a passion for his craft that his brother lacked. My thoughts were that he was trying to breakthrough and maybe the frustration got to him, unlike his popular brother, that in my eyes stopped giving a fuck a long time ago. Still it doesn’t forgive the fact that these two guys basically pissed away what they built, no matter how many chances they were given.

4. Mr. Anderson – His first run was good, injuries got in his way. Unfortunate, but it happens. He goes to TNA and becomes their champion, good for him. Where oh where though, did this man start becoming an extremely weak version of Steve Austin? This new “countrified” Mr. Anderson just plain sucks. I’ll keep this short and sweet with a comparison, Austin would be your favorite beer, and Kennedy would be a bottle filled with urine, and we aren’t even talking about good urine!

3. Bobby Lashley – Vince saw something in him, I wonder what it was? To me Lashley lacked charisma, he was torture on the mic! When he spoke I would have flashbacks to the old “Look like Tarzan, talk like Jane” phrase. He wasn’t anything special in the ring, I’ll admit he did have some solid matches on occasion. Still Vince saw something in him! He was pushed, immensely, even being Trumps choice to represent him at Wrestlemania, garnering Lashley an insane amount of press coverage! Then he fell for a girl, and he basically bit the hand that fed him, leaving the WWE. Allegedly the main reason being the departure of his girlfriend Kristal Marshal. Now Lashley is trying his hand at MMA, not doing as good as he hoped, and the world of wrestling did not fall apart without him.

2. Jeff Jarrett – If history has made one thing clear, it is that a good main eventer Jeff Jarrett is not! He was an extremely solid mid-card heel in the WWE, a spot he should always be in. Befriending Russo would nab him World Championship gold in WCW, his daddy forming a company would do the same in TNA. Anytime I see Jeff Jarrett with the top belt it just irritated the hell out of me! I never enjoyed his matches, and I could never understand if he was supposed to be a cowardly heel, a fighting heel, or what? I doubt he knew! My hate grew even more during his time on top in TNA, when he would drop the belt only to win it back by shenanigans a PPV later.

1. La Parka -OK let me make this clear, I dislike the La Parka clone AAA created after the original La Parka, now L.A. ParK, left to the states. Why the hate on the AAA La Parka? Let’s get one thing out of the way, the man isn’t a horrible luchador, he did ok in his Karis la Momia gimmick, so I have to give the devil his due. The reason I cannot stand La Parka, he broke the unwritten cardinal rule of Lucha Libre, you do not take another man’s gear or name! After Adolfo Tapia, L.A. ParK, left to the states, AAA lost a huge star. They offered the gimmick to various luchadores, who followed code and declined. The man now known as La Parka went against tradition, and not only donned the mask and outfit, but he copied everything else, the dancing entrances, and the moveset. Promotions in Mexico realized that you can trademark a gimmick, have someone build the character, and if it ever becomes a big deal and the person under the mask leaves, you just give it to another person. Never would this of happened if the man now under the La Parka mask would have stuck to the unwritten rule. Karma is a funny thing though, L.A. ParK returned to Mexico, and became an even bigger star. It’s been confirmed by both parties that both La Parka’s have even met outside the ring, with L.A. ParK being the victor. Finally L.A. ParK made amends with AAA, returned and immediately overshadowed the clone. Life is funny that way.

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Larry Csonka