The Name on the Marquee: NWA World Championship Wrestling (2.28.1987)

-Cold open: Dusty and Bubba do battle in the steel cage to determine the king of the bunkhouse.

-Originally aired February 28, 1987.

-Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & David Crockett, and the NWA has reason to celebrate, we’re told, because last night’s house show in Pittsburgh set an attendance record for the city. Dusty Rhodes is unsurprisingly the winner of the Bunkhouse Stampede finals.

-Nikita promises that Dusty will take care of Dick Murdoch, while Nikita will finish off the other Russians. He also warns the Four Horsemen that he and Dusty won’t forget them.

LEX LUGER & TULLY BLANCHARD (with JJ Dillon) vs RICKY SULLIVAN & CHANCE MCQUADE
-Luger applies a hammerlock on Sullivan and drags him around the ring with it. Tully does a flying hammerlock just to taunt George “The Animal” Steele and rubs Sullivan’s face in the mat. Luger just beats down on Sullivan when he tags in, so he immediately tags out, with Sullivan visibly irritated by his partner and David Crockett laughing at them for being afraid of the Horsemen. You know, the Horsemen. The heels. The heels that David Crockett thinks are cool.

-Tully applies a wristlock on Sullivan and slaps him around a little bit. Tully slaps him around and struts. Dropkick by Tully, and the commentators pop for it and just sound like the biggest Horsemen marks in the building. Decapitator looks to finish, but Tully gives Lex the honor of applying the torture rack so he can have the win.

-Tony Schiavone is with Jim Crockett, who has been in multiple meetings this week with Jim Cornette’s mother’s attorneys. The belts have been returned to Ron Garvin & Barry Windham, BUT, #1, Cornette is still on the hook to pay all the fines, and #2, he is required to wrestle Garvin in a cage.

-Paul Jones is frustrated that his men aren’t getting preferential treatment for the Crockett Cup because they’re the champions. I don’t get how such a reasonable demand makes somebody a heel.

BARRY WINDHAM (US Tag Team Champion) vs THUNDERFOOT #2
-Fistfight goes Barry’s way and he drops a leg on Thunder. Chinlock is locked on, then he sends Thunderfoot into the ropes for a dropkick. Audience member of the week: whoever the hell brought a whizzer whistle into the studio to cheer for the babyfaces.

-Thunderfoot fights back with headbutts, but runs right into a forearm and a backdrop. Flying lariat…well, a mildly elevated lariat gets three.

-Barry joins his partner at the commentary area. Ron Garvin’s face is covered in bandages, and Windham says he thinks his partner is getting into wrestling again far too soon, but he respects the choice. Garvin says as long as his arms and legs are moving, he doesn’t see a reason to take a day off.

BRAD ARMSTRONG vs KEITH VINCENT
-Steve Austin recently went on a real interesting tangent about Armstrong during his podcast, basically calling him one of the funniest, most charismatic people he ever met, but saying that Armstrong had a quirk where, the moment he was on camera, he’d go “into character,” and for some reason Armstrong had it in his head that Brad Armstrong the character should be polite & colorless. Brad Armstrong, the guy hanging out in the locker room, could have been a huge star, according to Austin.

-Armstrong works the arm. Vincent fights back with chops, but Armstrong chops back and hiptosses him for two. Armstrong stays on the arm while the commentators say hello to various fans on their list of names to keep themselves awake.

-Armstrong is still working on the arm while we hype the Crockett Cup, which only ONE team can win, for those of you who don’t understand how a tournament works. Russian legsweep gives Brad the win in the meantime.

-Brad is here with Daddy Bob. They’re wrestling a bunch of tune-up matches for the Crockett Cup and they’re gonna be ready when the big day arrives.

RAVISHING & RAGING (World Tag Team Champions, with Paul Jones) vs JACK JACKSON & ZANE SMITH
-Rude press slams one of the jobbers over the top and onto the concrete, and the Rude Awakening gets three. Rude basically won the match by himself in seconds.

-Ric Flair’s here! Flair basically declares the Horsemen to be the strongest unit in wrestling, and they’re here in force in the studio this week, and will also be appearing in multiple buildings in the near future. Flair mentions Jimmy Garvin and Precious and says that Precious might say no, but her body language says she’ll be comin’ around the mountain, WOOO!

TIM HORNER vs KENT GLOVER
-And holy moses, Jim Cornette went OFF on Tim Horner on his Drive-Thru podcast not that long ago. It was actually one of the more glorious Jim Cornette tirades of recent years, as Cornette spent a full thirty minutes calling Horner everything but a white man, while calling him out for stealing a fax machine and a truck, and fucking SMW’s head of marketing on the side.

-Horner takes Glover down to the mat, much like he took down the SMW head of marketing on the floor of an office that Cornette paid rent for. Shoulderblock by Horner is sold by Glover, which is means that shoulderblock has been sold more than the Official Tim Horner Foam Lightning Bolts that cluttered up his garage while the Rock & Roll Express merchandise significantly sold more at every SMW house show.

-Horner works the arm of Glover, much better than he worked as an arena promoter for SMW, I might add. Glover tries to slug it out, but Horner gets the better end of that, and the natural bridge finishes, much like Horner finished before Night of the Legends because his wife raised her voice to Jim Cornette.

-Tim Horner is on his way to the Crockett Cup.

-David Crockett welcomes Women’s US Champion Misty Blue, who loves the fans for being behind her all the way.

GORGEOUS JIMMY GARVIN (with Precious) vs THUNDERFOOT #1
-There is not a LICK of difference in Garvin & Precious’ act as babyfaces, which is so funny. The crowd is basically thanking them for spraying disinfectant all over them.

-Thunderfoot throws punches, but Garvin hammers him down and backdrops him. Garvin goes to work on the arm and armdrags him around. He works on the arm for a spell. Garvin stays on the arm. Thunderfoot tries to make a comeback with a loaded boot, but Garvin dodges it and finishes him right away with the Brainbuster.

-Weird moment as Tony starts to introduce videotape of the Bunkhouse Stampede finals, but somebody off camera tells him that he has to go to the next match instead.

BEAUTIFUL BOBBY EATON (with Big Bubba Rogers) vs LARRY STEVENS
-Stevens has made the switch to black tights like a normal person, which is unfortunate. Eaton tosses Stevens to the concrete and Big Bubba launches him back in. Eaton goes to the top rope and awesomely pushes the lights out of the way so he’s cleared for takeoff before coming down with a kneedrop. Stevens goes out to the concrete again and this time Bubba just unloads on him because he’s so mad about last night. Sleeper applied by Eaton, but Larry Stevens somehow manages to screw up the act of falling down, so Eaton just plants him on the top rope and brings him off with a back suplex to finish.

-NOW we’re ready. David Crockett is in the locker room with Dusty Rhodes, holding his check and his commemorative boot. You can’t really fault Dusty given that the arena was legit sell-out, but Ric Flair once pointed out how completely ridiculous it was for JCP to tour metropolitan areas like Boston and Pittsburgh with the Bunkhouse Stampede, the most rednecky gimmick match possible.

-The Garvin brothers are here. Jimmy says that no money in the world is enough to tear him away from the chance to help his brother hurt some really bad people. Jimmy concludes by saying “Space Mountain is the shortest ride in the park, and everyone feels sick after they get off.”

RONNIE GARVIN (US Tag Team Champion) vs TOMMY ANGEL
-Garvin steers clear of mat wrestling completely and just finishes Angel with the hands of stone in under a minute.

-Jim Cornette comes out wearing the most obnoxious outfit ever, from a long vacation in Hawaii, and Tony can’t even look at him without breaking. Cornette gives Tony a Hawaiian lei, “the only lei you’ll ever get.” Also, Jimmy Garvin, blood might be thicker than water, but a sap is even thicker than that. Cornette promises that the cage match against Garvin will never happen.

BIG BUBBA ROGERS (with Jim Cornette & Bobby Eaton) vs GEORGE SOUTH
-Nice added touch, Bobby steals Tony Schiavone’s lei on the way to ringside.

-Bubba pounds down on South and sends him into the ropes for a side suplex. Bubba slam finishes.

-JJ Dillon is here with Tully and Lex. They’re selling out crowds everywhere, but Lex is a little exhausted from all the women throwing money at him when he walks to the ring.

OLE & ARN ANDERSON vs ALAN MARTIN & RANDY MULKEY
-Tully, Lex, and JJ all hang out at the commentary table to watch. Ole takes Randy down. Arn just casually slaps him and Mulkey gets fired up, surprising Arn with rapid-fire punches. Arn fights back and chokes and tears away at him. Arn rubs Martin’s face into the mat, and Ole goes to work on the arm, Ole-style. Ole dishes it out for a long time. There’s not much more to say beyond “Ole does a shitload of stuff to work the arm, but they go well beyond the point where Martin should be put out of his misery. Arn gives him a gourdbuster and Ole finally finishes with the knee from the top rope and the armbar.

-JJ again recaps the history of the Horsemen, as it started with Ole & Gene Anderson. They lost Gene. Ole turned to Cousin Ric and Cousin Arn for a threesome. They brought it an outsider, Tully…Tully vocally objects to JJ’s choice of words, pointing out that HE can’t be the outsider if he has a damn title belt and Ole doesn’t. That’s true, this is the NWA, which has about 50 belts. If Ole doesn’t have one, that’s a lack of initiative, more than anything.

-Ole comes over and confronts Tully about the “no title belt” potshot and Tully says Ole only has himself to blame for caring too much about “that snot-nosed kid of yours” and Ole gives Tully a right hand for that. JJ steps between them and Tony throws it to commercial before a brawl breaks out.

MISTY BLUE (United States Women’s Champion) vs LINDA DALLAS
-Misty slams Dallas down hard and stretches the crap out of her, Garvin-style. Dallas gets aggressive, ramming Mister’s face into the mat and applying a crazy-looking abdominal stretch with no feet on the mat. Linda is NOT wearing a sports bra and Misty is suffering from Ahmed Johnson Tights, so everyone’s probably hoping that nobody from WTBS is actually watching the show this week.

-Misty applies a chinlock while JJ Dillon storms out and chews out the commentators for blindly speculating about the Horsemen incident. The match ends OFF-CAMERA, which is ridiculous because we still have a solid six minutes left in the show. And Tony throws it to footage of the punch and asks for an explanation of what we just saw. JJ tries to downplay it as a non-story, but in the same breath, admits that there are problems in the Horsemen, but then swings back and says that there’s nothing wrong.

-JJ requests that Ole come out for an apology and that’ll resolve this whole non-issue and we can move on.

NIKITA KOLOFF (US Champion) vs VERNON DEATON
-Deaton makes the mistake of throwing punches, and that just pisses the big bald Russian off. Sickle ends in in under a minute.

-JJ demands an apology from Ole to each Horseman individually, plus an apology for JJ himself for this embarrassment. Ole comes out and gives JJ a right hand. That brings out Tully Blanchard to defend his manager’s honor, and we close the show with a Horsemen brawl.

6.5

The final score: review Average

The 411

NWA's run of red-hot angles continues this week, even if the red hot angle means the most unnatural babyface I can imagine. Let's see where they go from here.