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The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (6.11.1994)

March 19, 2017 | Posted by Adam Nedeff
Smoky Mountain Wrestling
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The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (6.11.1994)  

-Originally aired June 11, 1994.

-We’re in Harriman, TN.

-Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Les Thatcher. Les Thatcher looks surprised at the draw for Beat the Champ and reveals that the lucky challenger is Dirty White Boy. Shit’s ‘bout to go down!

-Smothers hiptosses Logan and works the arm in front of a crowd so silent you’d swear Trump Plaza must be in Harriman, TN. Logan throws some of the pansiest-looking chops ever, so Smothers fights back by showing him how to do it right. They trade kicks, but Logan misses an elbow from the second rope. Belly-to-belly by Tracy. Three-point stance by Tracy for some reason, and then the jawjacker finishes.

-Bob Armstrong warns Jim Cornette that he has a major announcement later in the hour.

-We go back to last week’s series of attempted piledrivers. Bob Caudle talks to Ricky Morton and this promo accidentally hammers home how silly “non-sanctioned” is when used in the world of professional wrestling. SMW will not sanction the match, although it will write up the contracts, enforce the stipulations, and mandate the championship will be at stake, but other than that, SMW isn’t sanctioning it.

-Ricky asks Tammy Fytch to come out and talk to him. Tammy misses her cue and he has to do it three or four times before she finally shows up. Ricky promises that he’s not up to anything…but Robert Gibson is, sneaking up behind Tammy and pouring a bucket of manure on her head.

-The “hold a Smoky Mountain house show fundraiser” promo is in DIRE need of updating, with Dixie Dy-no-mite and smiling babyface Brian Lee prominently featured.

-Tammy Fytch is in tears and throwing a full-blown tantrum.

-Bruiser hammers and slams both men. Hamrick gets tossed to the floor and Adkins gets dragged over to get taunted by Cornette. Hamrick tries to rescue his partner by climbing to the top rope, but Bedlam gets to him before he can jump and rocket launches him onto his own partner. Double stomach claw gets the win. But he won’t let go, so Mark Curtis reverses the decision and the jobbers get the win. Cornette and Bedlam don’t care, and holy crap, neither does this crowd. Cut your losses and just end the taping 45 minutes early.

-Jim Cornette warns Tracy Smothers that the coal miner’s glove that he wants to bring to the ring so badly will become an instrument for his own destruction.

-Another history lesson from Les Thatcher, profiling legends like Don Carson, Phil Hickerson, Joe LeDuc, Bob Armstrong, and David Schultz. Even modern day stars like Hulk Hogan and Paul Orndorff got their start in the territory. We are violently assaulted by the late ‘80s with the opening titles of USA Championship Wrestling, the very end of Knoxville’s days as a territory. Manager Ron Wright cuts an awesome promo that makes me wish one of the big two had called him up for a run.

-And now, Bob Armstrong’s big announcement. He’s with his sons Scott & Steve in the locker room. He’s been training his boys ever since they were two, when he bodyslammed them to get them used to pain and toughen them up. They issue a challenge to the Funk brothers to determine once and for all who truly is the greatest family in wrestling.

-Jim Cornette & Dory Funk Jr. offer their response. Dory once kicked Bob’s ass in the Knoxville Coliseum, and Cornette warns the Armstrongs that they’re like a midget in a 7-foot-deep swimming pool. In over their heads.

-Jake the Snake is here. If Dirty White Boy had any sense, he’d thank his wife for taking the DDT for her.

-They lock up as Les promotes the back-to-back biggest house shows ever, Night of the Legends followed immediately by Fire on the Mountain. They’re going all out to make these the biggest shows the company has ever done, because Les is encouraging fans from out of town to make the drive and spend a weekend in Tennessee for the events.

-Headbutts by DWB are all no-sold by Kendo. Kendo gets some offense, but DWB surprises him with a flurry of punches and a big boot, and now Kendo is dazed. Kendo stops the onslaught with a chop to the eye. Wrestling logic: that’s supposed to be lethal because of DWB’s eye injury, but even if you had a perfectly healthy eye, getting chopped directly on your eye would still totally screw you up. Why not just do that all the time?

-Nerve hold by Kendo. DWB elbows free but gets booted down by Kendo. Back to the nerve hold. DWB gets free again, but Kendo cuts off the comeback again, dropping a series of elbows for two. Gotta say, they’re going a good job of making this guy who has “WCW jobber” written all over him and making him look like a threat.

-DWB mounts another comeback, powerslamming him for two. He goes for another powerslam, but Jake shows up and waves his SMW Title belt around to screw with him. Kendo tries to take advantage of the distraction, but Jake trips KENDO from the floor, which confuses everybody. Jake begs Mark Curtis not to call for the bell. Curtis obliges. DWB argues the point (even though it’s giving him an extra chance to win the title) but while DWB and the referee argue, Jake hands Kendo a weapon.

-Jake distracts the referee. Kendo sprays his mist, but DWB sees it coming and ducks this time. Bucksnort blaster looks to finish, but Jake is a damn good distraction, so the referee is still talking to him. Kendo is able to recover and knocks DWB out of the ring with a forearm. Jake dumps some ice water on DWB and calmly walks off while the referee counts DWB out. I feel like somebody bungled that finish because there were extra layers and details that didn’t need to be there.

-DWB admits that he’s ashamed to be seen in public with his wife ever since everyone saw him fail to protect her. He vows that revenge is coming, and he will allow himself to be seen in public again. And if he fails a second time, he’s quitting.

The final score: review Poor
The 411
The messy finish made the feature bout more weird than exciting, and the crowd for this taping is killing me. Really, the only high point this week was the Knoxville history lesson.