wrestling / TV Reports

The Smackdown Breakdown 2.02.07

February 4, 2007 | Posted by J.D. Dunn

Didn’t catch ECW this week, but I did read the recap. So…WCW 2000?

WWE Smackdown
by J.D. Dunn

  • February 2, 2007
  • From Houston, Texas.
  • Your hosts are Michael Cole and John Bradshaw Layfield.

  • U.S. Title: Chris Benoit vs. Fit Finlay.
    Wheeeee! Big-ass staredown and old-school intro to start. Benoit gets a really big reaction. Finlay forces Benoit to the ropes, so Chris SLAPS THE PISS OUT OF HIM! And AGAIN! Finlay knocks him down with a forearm and gets two, so Benoit shoots the leg and bends it over into a kneebar. He adds a few forearms for fun. Finlay wags his finger in Benoit’s face, so Benoit slaps it away and growls. Even Jack Bauer is cowering at this point. Benoit lays in some chops, and Finlay spills to the floor. Benoit misses a sliding dropkick, though, allowing Finlay to send him into the steps. We come back from commercial to Finlay holding a half-crab. MANLY! Finlay drapes Benoit’s leg across the bottom rope and splashes it. Finlay really goes to work on Benoit’s leg and goes back to the half-crab. Benoit makes the ropes, but Finlay drags him to the center and gives him a Dragon Screw. Now that he has Benoit immobilized, Fit decides to have a little fun and lays forearms into his chest. Benoit fires back and goes for a snap suplex, but his leg gives out on him, and Benoit collapses. PSYCHOLOGY~! You’d think it’d be common sense, but how often do you see guys go right on with whatever they were doing? Benoit hits an enzuigiri and a few German suplexes. The swandive headbutt misses, though, and Finlay gets two. Finlay undoes the turnbuckle to distract the ref and tries to bring out the Little Bastard, but something has hold of the little guy and won’t let him out. Finlay hops back in the ring, and suddenly the Boogeyman’s music hits. Turns out Boogeyman had the Little Bastard all along. Finlay is so surprised that Benoit is able to roll him up at 15:12. That is such a wretched and inane (not to mention clichéd) finish, and worse yet, it’s POINTLESS! There is not a single thing that they accomplished here that they couldn’t have just as easily have done if Finlay had just lost first and then went for the Little Bastard…well, other than pissing people off. They did accomplish that pretty well. After the match, the Little Bastard refuses to go under the ring. Hopefully, we get some kind of rematch. ***

  • Kristal catches up with a healed Vickie Guerrero. Vickie says she doesn’t know what the future holds, but she’s complaining about the working conditions. Vickie and Kristal share a hug.
  • Non-Title: Brian Kendrick & Paul London (w/Ashley) vs. Deuce & Domino (w/Cherry).
    I think these guys were in Friday the 13th, Part 5. JBL goes off on a funny story about eating at Sonic. Kendrick gets a few rollups on Deuce, and the champs doubleteam. Domino distracts London (well, in theory), and Deuce jumps London from behind. Domino picks an argument with Jimmy Korderis (UP YER NOSE WITH A RUBBER HOSE!) while Deuce chokes London out with a headscissors. Deuce & Domino are decent talents, but they have to find a way to make their heel heat segments more interesting. Domino takes a big chest bump when he tries a Stinger Splash, and London is able to tag out. London gets tossed, leaving Kendrick alone with Deuce & Domino. Hey, did you know Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees tried out for the role of the Fonze? Did you also know that Mickey Dolenz daughter Ami was a smokin’ hottie? Domino blocks the Sliced Bread #2, and the Greaser Express hits the Rock Around the Clock at 7:43. Apparently, London & Kendrick will be your longest-reigning tag champions since Demolition, which just makes me want to see Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard come out of retirement and kick their asses. **

  • Batista demands – DEMANDS, I SAY — an answer from the Undertaker.
  • King Booker comes out to get the key to Houston. Hey, he won’t have to rob the place anymore! BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! Okay, that was out of bounds. This was WAY drawn out and ends when Kane (they eliminated each other at the Rumble) breaks up the ceremony and destroys everyone.
  • Mr. Kennedy vs. Vito.
    Kennedy is coming in grumpy after his loss at the Rumble. Vito gets in a funny mock-Kennedy pose, but that’s about it. Kennedy gives him the Facewash, strips Vito’s dress off him and smacks him around. The Lambeau Leap makes its return and gets the win at 2:38. After the match, Kennedy chokes out Vito with his own dress. Well, at least they’re rebuilding Kennedy. Hopefully, he’ll renew acquaintances with Benoit by the time WrestleMania comes along. 3/4*

  • Bikini Contest.

    JBL is your host. Kristal, Ashley and Jillian are your participants. Good God, someone get them a cinnabun. I haven’t seen ribs like that since Fred Flintstone’s car tipped over. Actually, there are way funnier jokes than I could have made, but I’m not Michael Richards. Hopefully, Ashley’s weight loss is for the Playboy shoot and not a permanent thing. Kristal and Ashley are game, but Jillian wants to sing. Oh, because of American Idol. Here’s the problem there: you can’t get more crazy and untalented than any of the actual Idol contestants. I mean, come on, a fucking panther?! That just sells itself. Anyway, Jillian’s upset because she has talent, and the other girls are just “tramps” for showing skin. Wow, I have specifically not seen this one…in a few weeks.

  • Theodore Long demands – DEMANDS, I SAY – an explanation from Mr. Kennedy. Kennedy is upset because he was screwed by an unconscious ref at the Rumble. Teddy offers him a rematch next week.
  • Matt Hardy vs. The Miz.
    Matt controls with some basic stuff but gets tripped and falls out of the ring. Miz applies a Cobra Clutch. Is there any hold that’s lost more meaning since the 1980s? DDT. Okay, yeah, the DDT. Even the piledriver maintains some mystique. Matt comes back with a bulldog and an elbowdrop. The Side Effect gets two. Matt gets knocked to the apron, though, allowing Joey Mercury to run in and clock Matt with his noseguard. That allows Miz to hit the Mizard of Oz (dubbed by Cole, not me) at 4:30. So the feud continues. *

  • Batista comes out for his answer from the Undertaker. John Cena surprises everyone by showing up and saying he deserves an answer to. You know, you’d think he could figure it out just by process of elimination, but I guess he wants an answer in person. The Undetaker comes out to give his answer, but Shawn Michaels has to interrupt THAT. Apparently, he calls loser. Notice that Bobby Lashley figures nowhere in this despite the token appearance from the Undertaker on ECW. Vince McMahon keeps everything from devolving (cutting Teddy Long’s nuts off in the process – metaphorically speaking). Vinnie Mac makes a tag match between Cena & HBK vs. Batista & The Undertaker. Well, that has some good potential if Shawn has his workboots on.

    The 411: Down episode this week with a decidedly “Vince-ish” feel to it, not only in presence but in booking. The No Way Out main event looks pretty good, but the fact that they still feel Smackdown needs imports is not a good long-term sign. Maybe they should just scrap the idea of having No Way Out as a Smackdown show and do a tri-branded show. Oh, and word of advice if anyone in creative is reading – just let them finish the damned match and then do your angle!


  • NULL

    article topics

    J.D. Dunn

    Comments are closed.