The Top Ten 01.02.07: Gimmicks

Merry New Year people and welcome to the first 2007 edition of The Top Ten. I’m still recovering from New Year’s partying so this one won’t be too long. This week we’re going to look at The Top Ten Gimmicks of all time so let’s hop right into this bitch, shall we?

Reader Feedback

So I open my big mouth last week and state that I will include EVERY single list for the top ten matches of 2006 that I received from you guys and I expected my mailbox to be FLOODED with feedback and instead I received the least amount of feedback ever. I’ll attribute that to most of you being hung over from Christmas eggnog. If you still want to send in your list for the top ten matches of ’06, feel free because I’m curious to see what you guys felt were the best matches of ’06. Since my girl’s computer keeps freezing up every time I try to copy and paste and since I didn’t receive too much feedback last week, I’ll include all the feedback for the last two weeks in next week’s column when I’m using my computer. That’s right, ALL of the feedback. Now watch me receive one email. From my mom. Asking me to pick up some Vicks before I come over.

The Top Ten Gimmicks

Before I start the list, let me explain what my definition of a “gimmick” is since everyone tends to have various views on what a gimmick entails. To me, a gimmick is a character that is completely unlike the wrestler playing the role. Therefore I consider people like The Undertaker, Kane, and Abyss gimmicks because Mark Calloway isn’t really dead, Glen Jacobs can’t make fire appear just by raising and throwing down his hands, and Chris Parks didn’t really grow up in a mental asylum with a leather mask on his face. Wrestlers like Stone Cold, The Rock, and John Cena aren’t considered gimmicks to me because their character is very close to their real life counterpart, only slightly exaggerated. A gimmick to me is a character that is EXTREMELY exaggerated to the point that it bears practically to resemblance to the person playing the character. Everyone has their different definition of a gimmick so I’m not saying mine is the correct view, but that’s just my view on it. So with that in mind, here’s the list.

Honorable Mention: Razor Ramon
Scott Hall played this character that was loosely based on the Tony Montana character from “Scarface” and he played it terrifically. Every facet of the character, from the overly hairy chest to the toothpick in the mouth to the greasy hair to the over exaggerated accent played up the Cuban stereotype perfectly. Hall, to his credit, was able to get this character over huge with the fans due to his cocky persona and machismo attitude. Growing up, Razor Ramon was one of my favorite wrestlers and it speaks miles about Hall’s ability that he was able to get a gimmick that probably should have been a failure so over with the fans.

Honorable Mention: Doink The Clown
How could you not love Doink? If there ever was a guilty pleasure for most wrestling fans, Doink is it. If you don’t believe me, just pop in the Wrestlemania 17 DVD where Doink was easily the most over wrestler in the Gimmick Battle Royal. He started off as every kid’s worst nightmare, an evil clown. Soon Doink’s evil pranks started to get over with the crowd and he was turned face which kind of hurt the character, but he was still very over. The true testament of how great a gimmick Doink was is the fact that various men (including Matt Borne, Dusty Wolfe, Steve Lombardi, and Ray Apollo) have been able to don the costume and be over with the crowd just because it’s one of those gimmicks that revert you back to your childhood during a simpler time for wrestling.

10) The Iron Sheik
Iran, number one! And with those few words of English, Khosrow Vaziri birthed The Iron Sheik and became perhaps the most hated heel during the 1980’s. Due to tensions between The United States and certain foreign countries, which included Iran, at the time, he was actively despised by the fans every time he came to the ring. The hatred for him intensified after he beat the good old American Boy, Bob Backland, for the WWF championship in December of 1983 and started to proclaim Iran’s superiority over America. This brought in Hulk Hogan who defeated Sheik to restore some American pride and become the biggest star the wrestling industry’s ever seen. The Iron Sheik was just a classic heel that was able to use real life tension between nations and turn it into a way for fans to boo the hell out of someone who represented a threat to their nation.

9) Sgt. Slaughter
The same way that Iron Sheik was a classic heel playing off of international tension, Sgt. Slaughter was a classic face playing off of patriotism. What’s funny is that the Sarge started off as a heel with his character being like an overbearing drill instructor. Once tensions between America and other nations began, The Sarge became a G.I. Joe-type character that rallied the fans behind the flag. In a lot of ways, Hulk Hogan was a rip-off of Sgt. Slaughter’s character due to the patriotic aspects. Sgt. Slaughter was a true original that is memorable in the mind of any wrestling fan above the age of 20.

8) Kane
A gimmick that started off as the brother of The Undertaker that was severely burnt as a child became so much more popular than probably anyone in the WWE envisioned it would be. Kane debuted as the estranged brother of the Undertaker who was looking for retribution due to the fact that he felt it was The Undertaker’s fault he was burnt as a child and their parents were dead. After his feud with The Undertaker, it didn’t seem like there would be much use left for Kane, but the gimmick took on a life of it’s own and was able to get over huge with the fans. A true testimony to how popular the Kane character is that Kane has had some of the worst storylines in wrestling history (Katie Vick or May 19th, anyone?), yet is able to remain hugely over with the fans. Kane started off as a character that was probably an afterthought to only be used on a short time basis, but Glen Jacobs turned him into such a popular figure that by the end of his career, he may wind up being inducted in the WWE Hall Of Fame.

7) King Booker
ALL HAIL KING BOOKER!! Just when it seemed like Booker T’s career may finally be dwindling down, he once again found a way to repackage himself and become the top heel on Smackdown. The absurdity of having Booker T proclaim himself a king is what makes the gimmick absolutely perfect. He not only calls himself a King, but he tries to act like a King. From the royal entrance, to having a Queen, to having a royal court, to having a phony British accent, Booker really tried to get across the fact that he is now wrestling royalty. Of course, the fact that he reverts back to his street ways anytime that he gets upset is another facet that makes the King Booker gimmick so great. Now can you dig that?!? Peasant!!

6) Jake “The Snake” Roberts
Not only was Jake Roberts one of the best talkers and most feared wrestlers of his time, he also had a gimmick that made him immensely cool to fans. Whether you loved him or hated him, everyone respected Jake and his python, Damien. Jake Roberts would have gotten over just by himself due to his wrestling skill and mic ability, but the snake turned him into a wrestling icon. Everybody who watches wrestling remembers Jake “The Snake” whether it was because you thought his snake was awesome or because you were scared out of your mind by it. Jake’s gimmick was a great example of how a gimmick can take a talented wrestler and give him the attention he deserves. Without the snake gimmick, it’s doubtful that Jake would have become as popular as he did and it would have been a true shame if we had overlooked this great performer.

5) “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase
An arrogant, millionaire wrestler who buys whatever he can’t achieve himself? You couldn’t ask for a better heel than the Million Dollar Man. In the 80’s, a time where excess was prevalent with shows like “Lifestyles of The Rich and Famous”, this was a great gimmick for the crowd to be able to boo. Who likes a snooty, berating, cocky rich person? Only other snooty, berating, cocky rich people and since most wrestling fans aren’t exactly breaking the bank, this was a great character to boo the hell out of. Ted Dibiase played the role perfectly and made you believe that was his real life persona. I mean he created his own Million Dollar belt, you just had to boo that! A great gimmick that remains one of my favorites to this day and probably always will be.

4) Sting
The great thing about the Sting gimmick is that it has gone in two completely different directions, yet both were hugely over with fans. The “surfer” Sting gimmick was very cool to fans because you had this young, athletic guy with paint all over his face that seemed like he had energy for days. He was the complete opposite of many of the traditional wrestlers of that day in WCW like Ric Flair, Harley Race, and Arn Anderson so it made his look and athleticism very fresh. The “crow” version of Sting was such a stark contrast to the way that Sting used to look that it created an immediate interest in him. While the “surfer” Sting was more laid back and fun-loving, the “crow” Sting was more darker and serious and always ready to kick some ass. Steve Borden was able to get both gimmicks over extremely well to the point where he is revered as a legend today
even though he still wrestles.

3) Mr. Perfect
This gimmick was, pardon the pun, perfect for Curt Henning. Henning was a great technical wrestler with tons of charisma so when he came over to WWE, he needed a gimmick that would warrant the fans attention. He was able to do that with The Perfect Vignettes in which it seemed that he did everything perfectly. When he debuted in the ring, it was clear that he deserved his moniker as he was seemingly flawless. His whole demeanor fit the character to a tee because he had the arrogant attitude of someone that is perfect.

2) Mankind
Out of all the Foley personas, this one is my favorite because most wrestling fans already knew Mick as Cactus Jack and he was able to turn this into a completely different character, that I feel was a little bit better than Cactus Jack. I loved the Mankind character because of the demented and tortured nature of it and even though he started off as a heel, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. Mick’s own personality was able to shine more through Mankind as the humor that he possesses was able to be displayed during his interactions with Vince McMahon, The Rock, and others. I’ve always loved all of Foley’s gimmicks(even Dude Love!), but I’ll always have a special place in my wrestling heart for Mankind because that’s the character that started me off as a fan of Mick Foley’s work.

1) The Undertaker
14-0 at Wrestlemania. Four Time WWE Champion. A Decade and a Half of Destruction. Mark Calloway was able to turn a gimmick that could have been DOA into one of the most respected and loved wrestling figures of all time. When The Undertaker debuted, nobody had ever seen anything like him. He seemed to be indestructible and had unbelievable agility for a man his size. I often think that Undertaker is not given enough respect from the IWC sometimes because he has had some really incredible matches and the bad matches he’s had have been against some of wrestling’s worst like Giant Gonzalez, The Great Khali, Yokozuna, and Heidenreich. I don’t think even Kurt Angle or Chris Benoit could pull out a decent match against any of those opponents. ‘Taker is a sure-fire Hall Of Famer and I think that generations from now, grandparents will be telling their grandkids about how great a performer The Undertaker was.

Drive-By Pimpin’

Check out all these UPDATED great columns by my 411 brethren:

-Andy Clark’s “Shimmy”
-Ari’s “Column Of Honor”
-Sean, Alex and David’s “Triple Threat”
-Bayani’s “Truth B Told”
-Weyer’s “Shining The Spotlight”
-Byers’ “Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People”
-Larry and Geoff’s “3R’s”
-Fact Or Fiction
-O’Dog’s ” Goodness”
-Sat and Uncle Trunx’s “High Road/Low Road”
-Phill Feltham’s “Quick Talkdown”
-Sarnecky’s “Piledriver Report”
-Slimmer’s News Report
-Hidden Highlights
-Carapola’s “That Was Then” and “Friendly Competition”
-The Fink’s Payload
-Gamble’s “Just ‘Spose”
-Cook’s “Ask 411”
-Meehan’s “Meethinks”
-Sforcina’s “Evolution Schematic”
-Prag’s “In Defense Of?.”
-Wrestlers of the Week
-Sullivan’s “Crystal Ball”
-Randle’s “Wrestling News Experience”
-Joe Boo’s “Ringside Or Cheap Seats”
-Linkous’ “WWE vs. TNA”
-Double M’s Rasslin Report
-News To Start Your Weekend
-Dunn’s Rawtopsy, Smackdown Breakdown, & ECW eXperience
-Cook’s “News From Cook’s Corner”
-Mike LaFave’s “Getting Over”
-Your News, Larry’s Views
-Mike Hamflett’s “Storylines”
-Rodriquez’s “Puerto Rico Report”
-Zac Calhoun’s “The Ripple Effect”

The Sign-Off

That’ll do it for this week folks. Feel free to still send in your lists for your favorite matches of ’06 as well as feedback on this or any other past column. Be sure to park your ass back here next week when we’ll look at the other side of the coin at The Top Ten Worst Gimmicks of all time. Wow, I just thought of about 68 off the top of my head.