wrestling / Columns

The Tuesday Communique 02.19.13: Unbelievable!

February 19, 2013 | Posted by Nick Marsico

The Wrestling News Experience with Stephen Randle
The Wrestling 5&1: Stacy Keibler vs. AJ Lee with Tony Acero & Greg De Marco
Thursday Sports Entertainment News Report with Sean Kelly
The 8 Ball: Tag Team Breakouts with Ken Hill
The Piledriver Report: The History of Vince McMahon’s Wrestling Empire: Part Five with Ronny Sarnecky
The Heel Report: The Greatest ‘IT’ Factors with James Wright
Shining A Spotlight: Bruno Sammartino with Michael Weyer
Ask 411 Wrestling: Rude DVD, Chainsaw Charlie, Vince’s Net Worth and More with Mathew Sforcina

One man in, one man out. Then,

Just a quick note before we get started: I want to say that I welcome well thought-out comments down below, whether they’re brief statements that are 2 sentences long or if they go on for paragraph after paragraph. This column exists to facilitate discussion after being read, and sometimes a more lengthy comment is appropriate. Please never hesitate to go long form if you want to discuss something here. I welcome it with arms open wider than Scott Stapp’s.

WWE Monday Night RAW from Lafayette, LA || TV Review

John Cena is here to announce the two title matches at WrestleMania, and as soon as he says that John Cena will challenge The Rock, CM Punk’s music hits. Well that was quick, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. He tells the TRUTH that The Rock CHEATED to win… well, kinda. He snarkily admits that Rock pretty much did indeed beat him clean, but Cena has never beat him clean. He calls Cena’s Rumble victory a win over a bunch of “ham and eggers”! And then he says Rock versus Cena at ‘Mania is a rerun, and he’s already seen that show. He tells Cena to get out of his life, and Cena teases it but politely declines. Jerk. Cena challenges Punk to a match for his own title shot and really, it makes perfect sense. Cena’s never beat Punk and Punk has a legitimate claim for deserving another shot at the title, so Cena will give Punk a match for one last chance. Punk accepts for next week, and it will be on! Shockingly, Cena went through an entire promo segment without making a single poopie joke! Shockingly, he didn’t come off like a complete tool deserving of the vitriol he often receives! Great segment, although the crowd was clearly upset that they don’t get to see Punk/Cena.

Matt Striker is backstage trying to interview Sheamus, but Ryback keeps pacing in front of the camera shot. Stop it, you ass! Sheamus asks if he’s a mindless neanderthal, and judging on Ryback’s reaction it was the wrong question. Jericho stops them from killing each other and goes overboard with smacking them on their chests, hilariously. He pitches the three of them versus The Shield tonight, and they tell him to get it done. I guess this is how they’re going to write Jericho out for a couple weeks. PLEASE let him return to have a WrestleMania match with Ambrose or Rollins. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

Mark Henry v. Sin Cara
Sin Cara tries some leg kicks but they do nothing and Henry tosses him halfway across the ring into the corner and then stands on his back. Sin Cara gets a kick to the head that rattles Henry but then plays to the crowd like an idiot and takes a running powerslam. World’s Strongest Slam ends it. He goes for another one, but it’s Great Khali! We’re 7 weeks out from WrestleMania so thankfully I’m pretty sure they’re not going to waste Henry with that crap. Mark runs away this time, though. Henry: “If I wanted to dance I’d get a date!” Henry def. Sin Cara, World’s Strongest Slam – 1 min, NR

Vickie Guerrero (still Managing Supervisor) tweets that the Jericho/Ryback/Sheamus v. Shield 6-man tag will indeed take place tonight.

Non-title, No DQ: Antonio Cesaro v. The Miz
Miz tackles Cesaro right at the bell and clotheslines him over the top. He follows out with a double sledge from the apron to the floor but gets cut off thanks to that darn hurt shoulder. AC rams him into the barricade and sends him back into the ring. He follows in with a couple of chairs and Singapore canes, one of which he uses for a 2 count. Miz comes back with a nice sunset flip for 2 and Cesaro ground him with another cane shot and then wraps his arm in a chair. Miz tries a neckbreaker but gets shoved shoulder-first into a chair that Cesaro set up in the corner. He dodges a charge and AC nails that same chair with the knee, which leads to possibly the best-looking drop toehold into a chair spot ever. He CRUSHED the chair. That goes directly to the Figure Four and it’s over as soon as it started. Huh. That had potential to get really good, but then it was suddenly over. Miz def. Cesaro, Figure Four – 4 min, **1/2

Jack and Zeb hate illegal immigrants looking for handouts. They don’t actually specify Mexicans and Zeb even goes so far as to say “they can all go back to wherever it is they came from”, but it’s pretty clear he meant Mexicans when he tossed in the line about having 20 people and kids in one car driving across the border. I know we were all hoping it wouldn’t go this way, but it is, and I have a feeling it’s going to get worse.

Daniel Bryan tells Kane that he’s not comfortable teaming with him, so he requested a singles match with Jack Swagger tonight. Kane thinks Bryan is a snake, and oddly enough Randy Orton was creepily lurking around to be within earshot. He calls Kane Barney the Dinosaur and then walks (slithers?) away when Kane turns around to yell at Bryan for laughing. Hey, maybe Kane will be the heel in this after all! Somebody just needs to remind him he’s a monster.

Vickie Guerrero has a surprise for Paul Heyman later tonight.

Non-title: Alberto Del Rio v. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler nails a dropkick immediately, so Del Rio returns with a mule kick and then DESTROYS him with an enzugiri that knocks DZ off the apron and to the floor. He hit it so hard that it even triggered a commercial break less than a minute into the match! Ziggler is choking him on the rope when we return and puts ADR back down for a 2 count with another dropkick. Big E draws some boos by getting a shot in while DZ distracted the ref. Fameasser gets two as Zeb and Jack look on backstage. Del Rio puts Ziggler on the top turnbuckle and kicks him in the back and then takes him off with a reverse superplex! That did not look like it was going to work. He begins the comeback and it is FAST paced in Lafayette! Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker leads to the superkick with Ziggler on his knees, but it only gets two. ADR takes too long to set up the cross armbreaker and DZ almost steals it with a neckbreaker. Ziggler misses a charge and gets hung up in the ropes, so the champ nails him with about 7 hard forearm shots to the kidneys. That sets up the backstabber out of the ropes, but Ziggler gets his hand on the bottom rope to break it. Big E gets on the apron but gets his legs kicked out from under his legs. Ziggler tries the jumping DDT, but ADR reverses it into the cross armbreaker! The crowd is going batshit! Ziggler taps! They robbed us of about 3 1/2 minutes of this, but it was still great. Del Rio def. Ziggler, cross armbreaker – 9 min, ***1/4

Big E lays out the champ and Ziggler grabs the briefcase! Is this finally it? But that damn Ricardo Rodriguez steals the briefcase, which somehow makes it impossible for Ziggler to use it. That makes no sense, but it’s chaotic and this is pretty awesome. Big E GETS ON HIS HORSE and makes chase, and he presumably killed RR once they got back out of the arena. AJ retrieves the briefcase, but before the ref can ring the bell Del Rio hits an enzuguri and Ziggler is out cold. Another failed non-attempt for DZ. Oh well.

Wade Barrett introduces his new movie Dead Man Down. The trailer looks pretty cool, and Barrett’s got a gun! For about a half a second! He’s a star! For whatever reason, Sheamus interrupts from the Tron and tells Barrett he’s out of time. And then it awkwardly ends as they cut to Cole and King playing with the new WWE Breakdancing Action Figures. Did Barrett forget to shake somebody’s hand or something?

Tensai, Brodus Clay & Naomi v. Primo, Epico & Rosa
The chicks start, and Naomi does a perfect springboard crossbody. That gets two and one of the heel guys come in, so she does a perfect headscissors to take him down. What the hell? She can wrestle? Or… do moves, at least? The hippos do the double fat guy splash and it’s over. Brodus/Tensai/Naomi def. Primo/Epico/Rosa, fat guy splashes – 1 min, NR

Jack Swagger v. Daniel Bryan
Zeb said some crap and the crowd sorta politely booed because they felt bad. The match is Joined In Progress with Bryan nailing some kicks. He rolls him up for 2 before Swagger is able to power out of a Mexican surfboard attempt. Cole and Lawler weren’t paying any attention and thus were unable to point that out. They were busy talking about the guy who just talked. Bryan dropkicks the leg and Swagger ends up out of the ring, but he dodges the flying knee off the apron and rams Bryan hard into the barridade. He works the leg inside the ring and gets a big biel out of the corner. He buries the knee to the ribs a couple times and follows with the Swagger Bomb for 2. Bryan gets the boots up to block a charge and backflips out of the corner to start a comeback. He gets the running forearm smash and low bridges Swagger out and follows with a suicide dive! Nice sequence. The missile dropkick gets two and Bryan starts the kicks to the chest. Smart to finally put Swagger into a match against somebody the crowd cares about. He catches a kick and gets a spinebuster but Bryan recovers quickly and gets the NO Lock! Swagger gets to the bottom rope and dodges a charge as Bryan crashes and burns in the corner. Chop block leads to the Patriot Lock (not Act any more, I guess) and Bryan taps. Good match. Swagger def. Bryan, Patriot Lock – 8 min, **1/2

Vickie Guerrero is here with Paul Heyman. She announces “Broad” Maddox as the Assistant to the Managing Supervisor. That’s a mouthful of a title. Heyman doesn’t care, but Vince shows up on the Tron to announce Paul’s real surprise. Heyman said he would do “anything” if Vince would give Punk the stipulation he got for the Elimination Chamber match. Next week, vince will walk out on his crutches live in Dallas and they will fight! The crowd… sits there. Were they expecting something else to happen next? They must have. It’s not possible that they just… gasp… didn’t care?

Ryback, Sheamus & Chris Jericho v. The Shield
Michael Cole must have learned a new word, because he’s said “frenzy” about 500 times in the past two days to describe The Shield. We get it. Wasn’t that Kofi’s word? They’re even taking words from him now. Sad. Ryback tries to kill Rollins but Jericho stops him from getting ahead of himself and takes over against Ambrose. He gets the missile dropkick from the second rope for 2 and tags Sheamus, but Ambrose rolls away and tags Reigns. They brawl and Sheamus eventually gets the advantage with a sweet knee lift and White Noise. He calls for the Brogue Kick but Rollins pulls Reigns out of the ring, so Sheamus nails Ambrose instead. He was on the apron you cheater! He wasn’t doin’ nuthin’ wrong! That brings us to a commercial. Reigns is in control as we return and he tags in Ambrose, who tags in Rollins. They do dropkicks in succession, which gets two on Sheamus. That’s a great double team spot. Sheamus flies out of the corner with a huge clothesline on Reigns and it’s HOT TAG RYBACK! He kills Rollins with a back body drop and spinebuster, and the crowd is LOUD AS HELL chanting “Feed Me More!” as he winds up for the meathook. He gets it but Reigns spears him out of Shellshocked like last night at the PPV to break it up. Ambrose is in as the crowd chants for Y2J. Interesting the things this crowd is chanting for, isn’t it? They don’t care about the stupid “Real Americans” angle or the near-70-year-old Vince coming back to beat up Paul Heyman, but they’re going crazy for a good wrestling match.

The Shield controls Ryback and Ambrose gets two off a neckbreaker. Tag to Reigns, but he misses a splash into the corner. Crowd wants Jericho and they get him! Springboard dropkick for Rollins! Facebuster for Ambrose! Lionsault gets two! Ambrose rolls Jericho up to block the Walls for 2, but Y2J is able to schoolboy him into the Walls! Sheamus spears Reigns to stop him from breaking it up! Rollins off the top with a knee to Jericho’s head! Ambrose pins Jericho! THIS is how you book a stable, motherfuckers! Shield def. Y2J/Sheamus/Ryback, flying knee – 13 min, ***1/2

Damien Sandow destroys Kofi before their match can get started, and he’s vicious! Nice. It’s R-Truth! I was wondering why they had him randomly appear at the WMXXX announcement today. It’s because he’s back! Nice pop, too. I’m all for a double reunion with Kofi & Truth v. Rhodes Scholars at WrestleMania. Sandow and Rhodes need to wrestle every single week as a team and bill it as a “one-time only” reunion every time. That would be great.

Randy Orton v. Kane
Kane seems to hurt himself trying a shoulderblock, so Orton goes after it. Weird. Orton sits on the top rope and clubs the chest but gets knocked off the top and to the floor with a thrust to the throat. Second match tonight to hit commercial barely a minute in. Kane has a chinlock as we return. Orton fights out but runs into a big boot. Orton fights back again and they trade punches but Kane gets 2 off a DDT. Orton gets the corner mount punches with no fanfare and dropkicks Kane, then goes for the Garvin Stomp but runs into an uppercut and Kane dropkicks him down for 2. This match isn’t bad, but it’s just… happening. Orton gets the scoop powerslam to wake up the crowd, but they go back to sleep when Kane gets right up and hits the side slam for 2. Orton dodges the flying clothesline and goes for the hangman’s DDT, but Kane crotches him on the top rope. Daniel Bryan walks in for the distraction and Orton takes advantage with the RKO for the win. Odd how Kane controlled about 99/100 of this match. Orton def. Kane, RKO – 9 min, **

Celebration time for The Rock and I gotta be honest, the theme song accompanied by the drum line is AWESOME. There’s a new belt in the ring… please don’t be a Rock vanity belt. Please. Rock: “There were some people who thought this belt was cool. There were some people who believe in bigfoot.” Nice. It shouldn’t look like a toy and it shouldn’t… spin. Good man. It won’t be a shitty vanity belt now. Let’s hope it’s not a shitty regular belt. It’s the belt that’s been circulating online for months upon months now, and it’s alright. It’s not the old one, so there’s that. I assume the side plates are interchangeable based on who the champ is, so that’s cool. The Rock is about to introduce Cena, so like a true gentleman Cena interrupts. That’s pretty rude, John. Before he can get very far down the ramp, though, Punk takes him out with the old belt and POINTS at The Rock! That means that he’s serious. Rock paces in the ring and that’s the end.

Overall RAW Thoughts
Great show this week. The crowd sat on their hand for the things they should have been sitting on their hands for and were loud for the things they should have been loud for. We got some damn good wrestling with Cesaro/Miz (short as it was), Bryan/Swagger, Del Rio/Ziggler and the six-man tag. WrestleMania’s feuds are possibly beginning to take shape for real, and this show felt important. I like it when a show feels like it means something. There was enough crap that they could have cut out to make this an amazing 2 hour show, but even with that stuff in there, it was nothing outwardly bad that dragged the show down. I don’t have a positive outlook on the Zeb & Jack stuff, though. This could be a LOOOOOOOOONNNNNGGGG seven weeks.

WWE Elimination Chamber || PPV Review

Pre-show: Clay & Tensai def. Rhodes Scholars – This was actually quite an enjoyable match. The crowd was into everything the big fat babyfaces did, nobody blew any spots and the double splash finish was pretty cool. Thumbs up from me. I’d rather they use the pre-show for things like this rather than title matches that should be on the main shows. This month’s pre-show felt more like Sunday Night Heat, and I mean that in a good way. *3/4

World Title: Del Rio def. Big Show to retain – I’m sorry, but Big Show is on a roll and has never looked better at any time throughout his entire career in the ring. These two have decent chemistry in the ring, but much like the Sheamus feud it was SO BAD out of the ring that I just want it to end. The fact that ADR blew the finish sucked, but it was a small blemish on a good match. Why did Big Show put so much emphasis on SmackDown that Del Rio never pinned him when the planned finish was a submission? **3/4

US Title: Cesaro def. Miz via DQ to retain – They got less than ten minutes to work with, and until the shitty finish this was going along rather swimmingly. Cesaro’s work on the arm and overall domination (with a bunch of good hope spots from Miz) was really good, and the transition to Miz looing for the Figure Four was also well done. I wonder if Cesaro will start wearing knee pads after that. I guess they’re going to continue forward with this feud, although I don’t see why. It’s just been going on and on with the feud getting some focus one week and ignored the next, and it’s just completely underwhelming. Hopefully they blow this off on RAW or Main Event some time soon and move both guys on to something else. **3/4

Elimination Chamber: Swagger def. Orton, Jericho, Henry, Kane & Bryan – Was I the only one expecting something a little more significant to happen between Kane and Daniel Bryan? Not a huge blow-up quite yet since we’re still 7 weeks out from ‘Mania, but one of them should have at least been the cause that led the other to being eliminated. Oh well. Their interactions were still fun even though I can’t believe they’re going to make Kane the face. Seriously? The match was definitely good with a lot of good wrestling and very little down time in the action. The Henry elimination sequence was fantastic, as was the entire finish, with Jericho and Orton flawlessly going back and forth until Randy finally got the RKO and Swagger got to sneak in with the school boy. I have a feeling we aren’t seeing a straight one-on-one match between Swagger and Del Rio at WrestleMania. That kinda negates the idea of this being the “last chance” for a World Title shot at the big dance, but oh well. Unless they only do a triple threat after Ziggler steals the title, but I have a feeling that at least one more guy will be in there. Probably Orton, too, which leaves Mark Henry out in the cold. Give us the true Sheamus/Henry rubber match! ***1/2

Six-Man Tag: The Shield def. Cena, Sheamus & Ryback – I was really expecting this one to go differently. Oddly enough, I was okay with knowing that the all-star team was going to win until very close to the end, when for some reason I felt the need to see The Shield win. And then they did. I’m going to go ahead and take credit. I assume somebody felt the vibe I was giving off and they changed the finish on the fly. The match was definitely great. They started off with a huge brawl before the bell rang, which was a great choice, because these guys weren’t just here to wrestle a match. Once it settled down, Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns were very entertaining and did a fantastic job with the extended heat segment, as they call it, on Cena. It wasn’t boring for a moment and all parties involved looked great. The double and triple team moves were spot-on, Cena sold like a champ and everything clicked. I wouldn’t put this up with the TLC match from December, but it was a damn solid second go-around for The Shield. I assume Ryback will finally get his revenge at WrestleMania, but what does Sheamus do? Tag along for the ride? ***1/2

Impromptu Special: Zigger def. Kingston – When Booker started talking about “doing something in the ring nobody else can do” I was SURE that he was going to head to the ring himself to challenge DZ to a Spin-a-roonie contest. Sadly I was mistaken, just like I was wrong when I was yelling that Mark Henry was going to lay Booker out with the World’s Strongest Slam after he got eliminated. The match was exactly what you would expect, just with a little extra springiness from Kofi, since Booker sent him in there with the intention of showing up the show off. For a sub-4 minute match, you could do a whole lot worse. This was fun, and I have a feeling it’s going to end up a lot better for Ziggler than it did that time back in 2002 that Jericho complained about being left off a PPV card. **1/4

Divas Title: Kaitlyn def. Tamina to retain – Yeah? Cool. Did you see the depth of the Divas division watching backstage? Why did they even bother doing that? It’s not like they plan to suddenly start acting like any of those girls matter. Match was fine. *1/4

WWE Title: The Rock def. CM Punk to win the title – Yeah, that’s how I’m putting it. AND it’s under protest as far as I’m concerned. Did you see him NAIL the ref off the apron? And then after that, he pushed Punk into the second ref, hurting the poor guy’s ankle! How did Rock get away with INTENTIONALLY taking out two referees? The belt should still be in CM Punk’s hands today! The man is a hero and Vince McMahon and The Rock are turning him into a martyr for all of us. Praise be to Punk and may all of these unrighteous injustices be rectified! Match was good, though. Equally as good as the one at the Rumble, just a very different match. We also got the multiple finisher kick-outs that ALMOST had me believing they were going to let Punk walk back out with the title just so they could pull off something screwy in the next month-and-a-half to get the belt back on Rocky. Almost. I didn’t really think they would do it, but I bit hard on a few of the nearfalls. I was yelling all of that stuff above as it was happening, too. All with my wife laughing at me and calling me a huge mark. I am. Huge. When I’m enjoying myself it is still real to me, damn it. ***3/4

Overall Elimination Chamber Thoughts
The show was very good. 2 for 2 so far in the PPV cycle for the WWE camp in 2013. I wish the damn things weren’t so ridiculously expensive, though. I miss when they were $29.95. Everything on this show was pretty good. I’m not jazzed for ‘Mania yet, and I’m upset that there are no organic storylines leading into the show right now outside of Kane v. Daniel Bryan. Everything else pretty much has to be put together in the next 7 weeks. I know the Ryback storyline with the Shield has to be resolved, but they’ve wrestled each other twice now, so it’s not necessarily new. Eh, I won’t complain until I’m underwhelmed and we’re only a week or two out from the show. Until then, I will remain cautiously optimistic, which is where I tend to stay anyway.

El Generico hung out ringside during Brodus Clay’s match last week in Orlando for NXT. That’s pretty cool. I really have to start trying to get to an NXT show when I get a chance. There are a ton of them within quick driving distance from me. Ole!

One of WWE’s next venture into films will be an action comedy! Did anybody see the other ones they did? Hell… have any of you seen any of the WWE Studios productions? Maybe one weekend I’ll torture my wife and make her sit through some of them with me. Anyway, the new one will be called Cruisin’ For A Bruisin’. I assume somebody’s mother came up with that title. Short synopsis: “Two rule-breaking former cops who reunite to take down the crooks and corrupt Senator who murdered their mentor.” Sounds thrilling. The former cops should be Edge and Big Show. Triple H could be the corrupt senator. That way they can get the three stars from their past “comedies” together to make a super movie.

News broke last week that the IOC has wrestling on the chopping block for the 2020 Olympic Games. The uproar was heard far and wide with anybody who had a brain and a Twitter handle deriding the horrendous notion that the Olympic sport could be cut while ping pong continues to be celebrated. ESPN had pro wrestlers (most notably Kurt Angle) on TV and on their website, Sports Illustrated’s site interviewed Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger, all noted amateur wrestlers in their younger days. If the decision is finalized and wrestling is cut as an event in 2020 it will be absolutely disgusting, but I hope that the massive groundswell caused by the announcement will push people to do everything possible to make sure that doesn’t happen.

You can order National Pro Wrestling Day On Demand now from Smart Mark Video. The full event (day and evening cards) are available together for the same $14.99 price tag that it was set at on the day of the show. Once you order, you have access to watch the show whenever you want, however many times you want. It’s yours. Give it a shot, people!

Tamina Snuka, daughter of WWE Hall of Famer Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, talked to WWE Magazine recently about the fact that she’s the daughter of WWE Hall of Famer Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka. Did you know that?

Pro Wrestling Collision

Matt Cage v. Joey O’Riley || PWC Collision Cup 2013 – January 19, 2013

From Alex Torres: “Great way to start a promotion off. The match started slow, but picked up well, making for a fun match that showcased both men well. Cage in particular, with the way he strung moves together, looked great in this outing. The end was surprising, but not in a way that felt unnatural. All in all, a fine way to get people invested in a new promotion.”

For more, please visit FreeProWrestling.com

The Believability Factor

Over the years people have complained about things like Rey Mysterio being the World Champion and wrestling/defeating guys like Mark Henry and The Big Show among others. “He’s so tiny! Nobody buys him as the World Champ!” Of course plenty of people, myself included, had no problem with Rey, and guys like him, holding a belt that historically has been put around the waists of men far larger than he. He’s a tag team/midcard/always injured guy right now and has been for a while so the debate has died down. Something sparked my ear recently, however, that brought that memory back up in my mind. I’ve read a number of people, in comments sections in articles here on 411 and elsewhere, respond to the prospect of a CM Punk v. Brock Lesnar match with statements about how ludicrous it would be and how a small, skinny dude like Punk would never legitimately have a chance against a former UFC Heavyweight Champion who weighs anywhere from 260-280 pounds. And I’ve seen it being said with a large degree of seriousness by those who have made the claims. Okay. Fine. Let’s throw out the fact that this is professional wrestling. Pro wrestling, a locale in which men can run the ropes and miss an elbow drop by 3 feet and win a World Title. In which men who are clearly not loopy or unconscious stand or lay in waiting for somebody to launch themselves through the air and crush them on the mat below. Sure. I’ve been talking about circumstances strictly within the confines of kayfabe a bit here and there in the Communique, so let’s talk.

We’ll use the specific example of CM Punk v. Brock Lesnar to make this as clear as possible. First and foremost, the rules of professional wrestling are different from those of mixed martial arts. Punk can’t legitimately defeat Brock? Inside the confines of the Octagon, that’s probably (almost definitely) true. Brock outweighs Punk by at least 50 pounds, and that gives him the leverage advantage in a scenario that places both men inside the cage with UFC rules in place. Here’s the problem with that: nobody is discussing the possibility of them having a mixed martial arts contest. They won’t be in the Octagon with UFC rules; they would be in the Squared Circle playing by WWE’s rules. Essentially, that kicks Lesnar’s leverage advantage right out of the equation. Punk can run the ropes for momentum as well as jump off the top turnbuckle and springboard off the top rope down onto Brock. In the event that he does indeed perform maneuvers such as those, it’s actually CM Punk who finds himself with the advantage when it comes to leverage.

That was always an issue I had with people whose argument against having “larger than life” humongous dudes like a Hogan or a Nash, Triple H, Big Show, Sid — any man of above average size — lose matches to smaller wrestlers. It wouldn’t make sense for Chris Benoit to beat Sid? Rey Mysterio couldn’t beat Kevin Nash? Billy Kidman couldn’t feasibly defeat Hulk Hogan? Okay, that last one is what it is, but that’s not the point. Professional wrestling is a beast unlike any other fighting situation. The wrestlers are supplied with a space up to 20 feet long by 20 feet wide surrounded by springy ropes and referees who are always willing to turn a blind eye 5 or 10 times depending on what “against the rules” move a combatant might decide to use. In pro wrestling, a closed-fist punch is illegal, yet a former World Champion uses it as his finish. Most wrestlers use closed fists 15-30 times per match, and all the referees do to stop them from doing this illegal move is look at them judgingly and smack themselves in the palm. That’s getting away from the point, however.

In short, it’s not even a little bit out of the question that a much smaller man can logically defeat a much larger man in a professional wrestling contest. Ignore the fact that the rules are very loosely enforced. It’s not a boxing match or a MMA contest. The environment lends itself very well to facilitate fights between men whose sizes may be grossly different and make them much closer to being fair. CM Punk may not stand much of a chance in a fight with Brock Lesnar with Dana White running things. I hear he doesn’t like it when guys jump off the side of the cage. Vince McMahon not only likes it, but he encourages the wrestlers to use the provided battle area as a weapon. That’s why it’s silly when people look at a match between two guys who look like they couldn’t possibly have a fair fight and shove it off to the side as inconceivable. I could go on and on about the reasons why size does NOT matter in the context of pro wrestling, but I think I have made my point.

We need the TRUE rubber match at WrestleMania 29!

– Nicholas A. Marsico

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