Handicapping the News 09.28.12

Welcome to Friday. Hopefully the week has treated you well and you’re prepared for a weekend full of football, fantasy and otherwise. No huge stories in the world of wrestling this week, but I’m happy to report after a couple of weeks away from the Reader Spotlight as a result of the Jerry Lawler incident, that the feature returns. This week’s spotlight goes to Guest#9294.

Guest#9294 says You do realize that practically every big female name of the past 15 years quit the business once they were out of WWE, right? Sunny might be the only one who didn’t.

There’s a difference in “big female names” and female wrestlers, though. Sure, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Chyna, and Trish Stratus have left the business. So did Ashley Massaro and Michelle McCool. Then again, there’s Christy Hemme, Maria Kanellis, Gail Kim, Mickie James, and Tara that are actively involved in major promotions, as well as those that still circulate on the indy circuit. I feel like an accurate statement would lie somewhere between our statements. Was I right in saying that the female performers have as hard of a time in leaving the business as the men do? Probably not. Is every big name out of the business once they’re out of WWE? No, that’s not right either. It’s somewhere in between.

And now, headlines.

Dark Matches

9.25.12 Justin Roberts pulled over twice in one week. What are the odds…
He gets suspended? 40 to 1
He gets fired? 100 to 1
Vince McMahon even knows who he is? 150 to 1

WWE and Hulu announce merger. What are the odds…
We see things like Legends Roundtables on there? 15 to 1
The “WWE Network” actually ends up as a Hulu channel? 20 to 1
We ever see an unclipped episode of Raw on there? 75 to 1

9.26.12 TNA announces the return of the Television Title; return of former Television Champion still pending

It was announced this week that the TNA Television Title would be returning whether Devon does or not. Word came out that the two contenders for the title would be chosen from a group of four men that included Samoa Joe, Mr. Anderson, Magnus, and Garrett Bischoff. Seeing TNA stick with it and bring the title back is nice, as well as their up front stance regarding Devon’s contract negotiations. If you were here last week, then you’ll know that I think there’s a strong possibility that Devon’s absence from TNA is something of a work and part of a bigger picture with Aces and Eights. Even if Devon doesn’t return to the company and I’m entirely wrong about his absence being a work, I applaud TNA for bringing the title back.

One of the things that has plagued TNA throughout the years has been marked inconsistency. For example, there was a renewed focus on the X Division during the tail end of Austin Aries’ reign as X Division champion and heading into Destination X. Since then, the division has been all but forgotten as they try to drag Xema Ion’s reign out until Jesse Sorenson is ready to return. It would have been easy, and pretty typical, of TNA to allow the Television Title to simply fade out and go unmentioned. At best, they could have laughed at themselves over it as they’ve done over the Knockouts Tag Team Titles. Instead, they were proactive and brought the title back into play. Now, there’s a part of me that thinks this also plays into Devon’s absence being a work, but we’ll address that in the odds section.

With Samoa Joe’s win on Impact, we have a TNA Television Champion once again. What can we expect in the next few weeks?

A champion vs. “champion” matchup with Devon: 3 to 2
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t see this as a foregone conclusion. Then again, it’s strictly guesswork on my part. I don’t have, and won’t pretend to have, any insider information for TNA or anywhere else. I’m just trying to think logically here, and that’s usually not something that works too well in professional wrestling. Here’s hoping, though.

TNA makes the TV Title mean something: 10 to 1
I think they’re going to legitimately try to make it mean something. If so, Samoa Joe is a good choice, whether Devon’s coming back or not. If Devon doesn’t return in the near future, there’s a built in program with Magnus that would be highly entertaining. Leaving multiple sensible options for future booking plans is something TNA has been doing much better with lately.

We get a behind the scenes clip of Hacksaw Jim Duggan finding the title for Joe: 100 to 1
Come on, YOU think of something witty to say about TNA’s short lived Television Title.

Jordan brand creates Macho Man inspired shoe; rumors that the shoe is made entirely of Slim Jims turn out to be unfounded

News broke this week that Jordan would be releasing a special edition of Jordans that would pay tribute to the late “Macho Man” Randy Savage. The shoes are a part of the Aero Flight collection, and as you can see, are designed in classic Macho Man colors. Personally, I’ve never owned a pair of Jordans, but this may be enough to get me to trade in my Reebok Zigs. Something like this speaks volumes about the impact that Savage had on pop culture, and his enduring popularity even after his death. I don’t like the odds of seeing a Greg “The Hammer” Valentine or Brad Armstrong inspired shoe in the near future, although a “Badstreet” shoe would be pretty badass.

When you think of it, the list of wrestlers that could inspire something like this are pretty few and far between. Conceivably, Hulk Hogan could pull it off. So could The Rock. Steve Austin is more likely to have his own style of cowboy boots than sneakers. One day, we may see John Cena inspired shoes in a variety of mind numbingly hideous colors. Savage accomplished a huge level of fame despite mostly playing second fiddle to Hulk Hogan throughout his career. His distinctive voice and appearance allowed him to stand out from the crowd, and even from Hogan. Through Slim Jim commercials and movie appearances like Spider-Man, Savage was able to become a cultural icon all his own. I think we can probably forget about the rap album, though.

What fancy footwear can we expect to see in the future?

Jordan Aero Flight Macho Man II’s: 10 to 1
Purple and silver, anybody?

John Cena Susan G. Komen For The Cure Pink and White Reebok Pumps: 75 to 1
Let’s hope not.

Kevin Von Erich endorsed Vibrams: 150 to 1
Twenty five years ago this would have been a no-brainer, right?

9.21.12 Beth Phoenix is leaving WWE; Beth Phoenix isn’t leaving WWE

In a stunning turn of events, the IWC reported conflicting stories this week. Originally, we were told that Beth Phoenix was going to be on her way out of WWE relatively soon. There were indications that she was done with the company and wouldn’t be extending her contract once the current deal expired in the near future. This led to rampant speculation about Beth arriving in TNA to bolster the Knockouts Division, heading to Japan, working with SHIMMER, or meeting up with Awesome Kong somewhere for one of the few modern dream matches of women’s professional wrestling. It was an easy story to get behind, as Sara Del Ray is now under contract to WWE, and could fill the role of the one serious women’s wrestler on WWE programming should they choose to put her on television.

Later in the week, however, Beth Phoenix herself threw water on the fire and said that she had no intention of leaving WWE. This came after appearing on WWE programming. Sure, Beth jobbed to Eve, however it appears as though they’re building a storyline for Beth with multiple Divas. Is it unthinkable that she could be on her way out of the promotion? No, people come and go all the time. Given the reputation of the IWC for reporting bad information as fact, though, I’m going to take Beth’s statement at face value.

Whether she stays or goes, what does the future hold for Ms. Phoenix?

A WWE Divas title reign: 5 to 1
The challenge in booking someone like Beth Phoenix in the Divas division is figuring out how to not have her on top of the division. She’s looks like she’d be physically dominant, and she also happens to be the best women’s wrestler they have by a long shot. It takes some suspension of disbelief to have someone like Kelly Kelly beat her, and after a while it becomes more and more difficult to do so. If Beth Phoenix sticks around, then she almost has to embark on another Divas title reign before very long.

A Knockouts title reign: 25 to 1
Should Beth Phoenix leave WWE, TNA would be fools not to sign her to a contract as soon as possible. While TNA’s Knockouts division has been taking some heat lately, they still have Tara, Mickie James, Gail Kim, and Madison Rayne on the roster. Add in Beth Phoenix and Awesome Kong, and you’ve suddenly got the best women’s division anywhere on the planet outside of Japan.

A match with Awesome Kong somewhere: 60 to 1
It would be the largest draw you could possibly build with two women, and could arguably headline any indy show in North America. Unfortunately, between Kong’s mental and physical issues over the last year and the fact that I don’t think Beth Phoenix is going to be leaving WWE, this one isn’t very likely.

9.24.12 Sin Cara unmasked on RAW by Alberto Del Rio; Ricardo Rodriguez masked on Saturday Morning Slam

If you needed more proof that wrestling is full of jealous assholes, well look no further than this little incident.

Sin Cara and Cody Rhodes have had something of a feud going for a while now that has mostly focused on Cody Rhodes trying to unmask Sin Cara, and failing to do so. It’s a lot like Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio, only infinitely less interesting and with matches that aren’t anywhere near four stars. Alberto Del Rio, on the other hand, has been feuding with Sheamus since approximately 1998. So why are Albert of the River and No Face in the ring together?

Well, it was a six man tag match, and there’s a bit of history between these two from their days in Mexico. Take the following with a grain of salt, because not only is it a “wrestling story”, but it comes from Konnan.

According to K-dog, when Sin Cara was still Mistico and one of Mexico’s biggest stars since Mil Mascaras’ prime, he embraced it and acted like a star. He had an entourage, he showed up late to shows, and he acted like a general diva. Alberto Del Rio, then known as Dos Caras, Jr., took exception to the behaviors and decided that he was going to straighten things out. He confronted Mistico about his behavior, and soon guns were involved, with one pointed directly at Del Rio.

If this is true, then it’s pretty obvious why the two men don’t like each other. However, regardless of personal animosity, this is highly unprofessional on Del Rio’s part, for a variety of reasons. The first is that it totally undermines Cody Rhodes more than Sin Cara. Cody Rhodes has spent weeks trying to remove Sin Cara’s mask to no avail. It took Del Rio about four seconds to peel it back and reveal Sin Cara’s face.

Secondly, it’s bad for business. Any and all marketing appeal that Sin Cara has revolves around that mask. Remove the mask and you’ve got a much less marketable person. I’m not sure that Del Rio cares about whether or not Sin Cara sells t-shirts, but I’m betting anyone and everyone with the last name McMahon is pretty concerned with it.

I’m not saying that Sin Cara doesn’t have the capacity to be an asshole. I’m sure he does. I’m saying Del Rio addressed it the wrong way, even if masks are a huge part of tradition in Mexico, and this was likely a personal attack with little to no thought given about the current circumstances of both men.

What can we expect to see out of this?

Del Rio punished in some form: 4 to 1
It will likely be minor, and may not be noticed by many people. I would fully expect that we’ll see Del Rio do a couple of remarkably clean jobs in the future, though, and maybe one to Sin Cara. Then again, it may be best just to keep these two away from each other in the ring.

Sin Cara leaves the promotion when this contract ends: 2 to 1
I’m sure Sin Cara is enjoying spending American dollars vs. Mexican pesos. However, his act hasn’t caught on in the States due to injuries and a clash of styles in the ring. Sin Cara was, as Mistico, a huge star in Mexico. Given that a new Mistico has been christened, the two could feud over the name or team up to battle rudos. Then again, there’s always an X Division in Florida that he could join.

Zack Ryder gets punished for this: EVEN
Connect the dots with me. They hate the internet as it is. I’m sure once they realized images from Raw were all over the internet, they decided to hate us even more. Since Zack Ryder represents everything that the IWC loves (in the minds of Vince McMahon and Co. at least), expect to not see him on television until shortly after Wrestlemania 36.

I’m ready for winter. Why? Because of assholes just like the one in the picture above this text. That, my friends, is the brown marmorated stink bug. If you live in the south eastern United States, you understand my hatred for them. During early spring and early fall, they’re everywhere. Literally everywhere. Two days ago, I came home from work and found dozens of them crawling on my ceiling.

If you’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting a stink bug, you know that you can’t just smash them. If you do, your house is going to smell like a corpse for at least a half hour. You have to try and catch them, and either drown them, flush them, or just release them back into the wild so that they can sneak back in again. And they will sneak back in.

My biggest problem was figuring out how they’re getting in. I checked the weather stripping on the door, and it looked good. I checked the seals on windows, and they all looked nice and snug. Then, to my horror, I actually spotted one of these things crawling in through my window unit air conditioner. It’s still warm here in southern Ohio, so going without a/c isn’t an option. It means I’ll have to keep fighting this battle until winter sets in and the frost kills these things, because nothing else does.

I know this has nothing to do with wrestling, and I’m fully aware that nobody cares. I just needed to vent.

That’s it for me. I’ll try to do better next time. You can message me on Twitter @GavinNapier411 if you want to tell me how much you love me or hate me, or just say hi. Odds are I’ll be back next week.