TNA’s: Best Of Bloodiest Brawls

TNA – BEST OF BLOODIEST BRAWLS

Review by Jacob Ziegler

Introduction

First off, just so everyone knows, I am selling some of my ROH best of DVDs and a few old shows, so if you are interested please e-mail me.

This is part of the original trilogy of DVD’s released by TNA, the Best of Bloodiest Brawls. I watched this once right when it came out, and I remember it being ridiculously awful, so let’s see how it fares today.

We open with the same video package that opened the previous two DVD’s.

Mike Tenay and Don West host the DVD, as per usual. The put over the brutality of TNA’s first year, with Raven, The Sandman, AJ Styles, and D-Lo Brown, among others.

MATCH #1: Falls Count Anywhere Match – Raven vs. The Sandman, 2.12.03

This was actually the main event of the show that it was on. Sandman comes out with the beer, the cigarette, and the kendo stick. Raven attacks before the bell and we’re underway. Sandman throws the guardrail into the ring, and Raven takes a drop toehold onto it. Raven had “FACE” written on his chest, but it’s faded now. He’s bleeding just minutes into the match. Which I guess is nothing considering that Sandman was bleeding before the match even started. They’re fighting all over the arena now. They do the usual crap, with Raven getting set up on a table and Sandman ready to jump off the balcony onto him. Raven moves, and Low Ki emerges to toss Sandman off the balcony through a table, and Raven gets the three count at 7:29. Steve Corino comes out and attacks Low Ki, and Brian Lee & Slash are out now too. Sandman comes back and hits both Ki and Raven with the cane. They continue this pointless brawl and the crowd really doesn’t care. Sports Entertainment Extreme (or S.E.X., just guess who booked that) comes out to beat up Sandman and Corino. Jeff Jarrett comes out and of course tips the advantage to the babyfaces, because Jarrett is just that awesome. Finally AJ Styles comes out to take out Jarrett with the Styles Clash on a chair. They fade out, WCW style.
Rating: *

This next match is the debut of one of Raven’s more ridiculous ideas, the “Raven’s Clockwork Orange House of Fun” match. Kevin Sullivan is the special referee in this one.

MATCH #2: Raven’s Clockwork Orange House of Fun Match – Raven vs. The Sandman, 3.5.03

This is the main event of the show, and Jeremy Borash calls it the “Raven House of Clockwork Orange.” That’s funny. Special referee Kevin Sullivan has black stripes painted on his body. Raven comes in from outside to start the match. The object of this match is to take your opponent up to “Raven’s Perch” and throw him off, through at least two tables. That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard. Don West then calls Sandman “highly trained,” which I find hilarious. Raven gigs early on. Sullivan, who has the word “violence” written in red on his chest, is actually helping the guys get weapons to beat on each other with. This is even worse than the last match. They go up to the perch for some more bad brawling. Raven teases falling off the perch through the tables, but he no-sells some garbage can shots instead. They go to the higher balcony fore more boring crap. Raven shoots a fire extinguisher at Sandman and tosses him off through the tables for the win. The badness of the match is actually secondary to the badness of the gimmick. Raven, bleeding all over the microphone, starts crying about getting a title shot. He dares Jarrett to give it to him right now, because that is the only shot Jarrett has at beating him. Jarrett does answer the call and kicks the crap out of Raven with the belt and various weapons. AJ Styles comes out to attack Jarrett. Brian Christopher and David Flair come after Jarrett now. Finally, Erik Watts comes out and the sucky sons of legends who were good beat Jarrett down.
Rating: DUD

Mike and Don talk about Raven and AJ Styles’ battle for the #1 Contender spot to Jeff Jarrett’s NWA World Title.

MATCH #3: Hardcore Ladder Match – Raven vs. AJ Styles, 3.19.03

AJ attacks Raven from behind, and the fight is on. This is a strange dynamic with Styles as a heel and Raven as a face. AJ hits a double springboard moonsault on Raven on the ladder. Raven has a bandage on his head because his wound from that last match with Sandman will not heal. Taking a drop toehold onto a chair won’t help keep his wound closed. AJ rests his feet on Raven’s back, a move he doesn’t take kindly to. AJ hits the Even Flow DDT on Raven on the chair. AJ’s strategy is obvious, and smart. He climbs the ladder, but Raven throws a chair at him to knock him down. AJ has to get hit in the head three times with the ladder before he goes down. He’s busted open now too. Raven gets crotched on the ladder, and this match is just getting more brutal. The staple gun comes into play now, and I don’t remember this match being this sick. AJ puts Raven on a table outside the ring, and Raven grabs Andrew Thomas and holds him over himself, but AJ gives them both a big legdrop anyway. AJ climbs up the ladder, but Glenn Gilberti comes out and gives him a sick powerbomb through a table outside the ring. Remember when people cared about Disco Inferno? No, me neither. Raven recovers, and climbs the ladder to get the contract and the win at 11:14. That was a brutal battle, and leagues ahead of the stuff Raven did with Sandman just weeks before this. The Gilberti drags it down just a bit, but it’s good stuff otherwise.
Rating: ***1/4

Next, we move on the Father James Mitchell, and his pet match, the “Sadistic Madness” match. That sounds sick to me.

MATCH #4: Sadistic Madness Match – The Harris Brothers & Triple X vs. The Disciples of the New Church, The Sandman & Perry Saturn, 3.26.03

Triple X, the NWA Tag Team Champions, are represented by Christopher Daniels & Primetime Elix Skipper. The Disciples are represented by Slash & Brian Lee. Sandman of course bleeds before the match even starts. In a match in which you have to bleed before you can get pinned (as Mike and Don helpfully pointed out), that’s not a wise move. This really is not the best use of Triple X’s talent. Saturn has some new tattoos since he left WWF. He also almost kills Triple X with suplexes. Slash is the next one to get busted open. Father Mitchell tosses Slash a spike, which he promptly uses on Daniels, busting him open. All eight men just brawl wherever they feel like it, and Daniels is bleeding pretty badly. Oh, and Ron Harris is bleeding I see. Saturn hits the DVD on Daniels, but Skipper breaks it up. Then Saturn gets H-Bombed but he isn’t bleeding. Ron Killings, accompanied by Mabel/Viscera, and they clean house on Triple X. This leads to Saturn getting the pin at 11:21. That was pretty dreadful, but I think the stipulation fits for the Disciples and Father Mitchell. Glenn Gilberti & Sonny Siaki come out to help S.E.X. beat down the winners. Of course Jarrett comes out and clears the ring.
Rating: *1/2

That last match led to this upcoming match – the Armed Asylum match. I love that they keep giving these matches different gimmick names, but they’re all essentially the same match with a different finish.

MATCH #5: Armed Asylum Match – The Sandman & New Jack vs. The Disciples of the New Church vs. The Harris Brothers, 4.09.03

Apparently this match was Sandman’s idea. Disciples are once again represented by Brian Lee & Slash, the former tag team champions. New Jack appears out of nowhere, and the Harris Brothers aren’t even out there yet. This is basically a weapons match with a snappy name, pinfalls to win it. Plunder is everywhere, and I can’t believe they ran a series of matches like this just over two years ago, and the fans appear to enjoy it. Brian Lee joins the list of people New Jack has tried to kill, as he takes a sick bump from the balcony. New Jack drops an elbow on Slash from the balcony through a table, and I notice a security guard making extra sure that a little kid doesn’t get too close to them. I commend that security guard, who will probably never read this. That makes New Jack a non-factor, and Sandman takes the H-Bomb in the ring and the Harris’s are your winners at 8:32. It felt a lot longer.
Rating: 1/2*

June 25, 2003 was the date of TNA’s first-ever steel cage match. The match was actually America’s Most Wanted versus Triple X (which was on the Title Matches DVD), but something happened after that match and that is what Mike and Don want to show us.

MATCH #6: Steel Cage Match – D-Lo Brown vs. AJ Styles, 6.25.03

D-Lo says that what he has to say can’t wait for the cage to come down. He goes into his history with AJ Styles and his quest for the NWA Title, which is conveniently held by Styles. D-Lo wants to know why AJ would join up with Vince Russo. AJ comes out right away to answer the allegations. D-Lo attacks AJ and we have an impromptu steel cage match on our hands. He’s really giving the champion a beating. AJ tries to escape, but D-Lo knocks him off the cage and AJ takes a SICK bump on his face. A belly-to-belly suplex on the floor follows up. A nasty chair shot by D-Lo. A referee comes down so this match has been sanctioned by the NWA, but I still assume it’s a non-title match. AJ comes back and nails D-Lo in the head with a chair, splitting him open. D-Lo comes back and hits a swinging slam (like Vordell Walker’s “Vortex”) for two. He hits the Sky-High powerbomb and goes up for the ‘Lo Down – from the top of the cage. Russo comes in with his baseball bat and threatens D-Lo, giving AJ time to nail D’Lo in the head with a chair. Referee Thomas finally calls for the bell at around 4:55. Jeff Jarrett tries to come down and help D-Lo, but Red Shirt Security stops him. AJ delivers the Styles Clash on a chair, and Russo orders Andrew Thomas to count to three, and then tells the Champ that his work is done. That was pretty energetic stuff until the Russo and Jarrett stuff.
Rating: **3/4

The Hard 10 is the next subject covered, which was a hardcore tournament in which weapons shots counted for points, and the first one to 10 points wins.

The Sandman calls himself the general of hardcore wrestling. He’s Patton and Macarthur rolled into one, he says.

New Jack claims that he started all the hardcore wrestling.

Sandman says the point system doesn’t matter, but who the last man standing is.

New Jack also doesn’t care about the points system. He just wants to beat the dog crap out of Sandman.

Sandman says that tonight is all business, even though they can hang out outside the ring.

New Jack says that they go way back, and that they were the two most violent people in ECW. He literally says that he’s going to try his best to kill Sandman.

MATCH #7: Hard 10 Tournament Final – New Jack vs. The Sandman, 7.02.03

New Jack beat Slash and Mike Sanders to get here; The Sandman beat Devon Storm and Sonny Siaki. They do some hardcore stuff, and Don West says something about “identically mixed answers” about the definition of hardcore; whatever that means. This is just terrible, with all kinds of blood and stuff. I can’t be bothered to care yet. Sandman tosses New Jack off the balcony through two tables to get the win at 5:00. That was by no means good.
Rating: DUD

Mike and Don start talking about their favorite matches on the DVD for some reason, and they plug their other two DVD’s. This seems a bit out of place at this point in the DVD. Well, let’s move on to disc two.

DISC TWO

BONUS MATCH: Hair vs. Hair Match – Shane Douglas vs. Raven, 9.17.03

This was promised as a “bonus match,” which would seem to indicate that it would be at the end of the second disc, rather than the beginning. We get a nice video package detailing the Disciples versus Gathering feud, culminating in this match here. James Mitchell cuts a pretty good promo on the match, and Douglas adds his lame two cents. They start off slow because, well, it’s Douglas and Raven. They go outside the ring for some more plodding offense. This almost looks like they’re in slow motion. They do some more garbage stuff, and Shane Douglas actually vomits in the ring. Wow, that is so disgusting. Douglas pulls a chain out of his boot, but Raven kicks out at two. Synn & Slash come out to help Douglas. This prompts Julio Dinero and CM Punk to come to Raven’s aid. It’s still weird to see Punk helping Raven after I’ve seen their feud in Ring of Honor. Raven is about to get a pinfall but the lights go out, and when they’re back in Vampiro is in the ring and he gives Raven a DDT. That is enough to get three at 17:01. After all the crap they did to each other, a simple DDT got the win. Now commences the hair cutting, which is a disgusting spectacle that I don’t care to comment on any further.
Rating: 3/4*

We go back to June of 2003, when the Clockwork Orange House of Fun came back.

MATCH #8: Falls Count Anywhere Clockwork Orange House of Fun Match – Shane Douglas & The Disciples of the New Church vs. Julio Dinero, Alexis & Raven, 7.30.03

The Disciples are represented by Brian Lee & Slash. Alexis is substituting for CM Punk, who is not in the building. This is another standard brawl that is not interesting at all. Raven & Douglas take a spill to the outside through a table, and Douglas gets his arm over Raven for the pin at 9:48. That’s as much as I care to say about this.
Rating: 1/2*

Two former ECW stars collide, in three matches, here, uncensored! I know when I hear Uncensored on a wrestling PPV I know it means quality.

MATCH #9: Lights Out Match – Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn, 6.25.03

This match is totally non-sanctioned by the NWA. The match actually starts outside, and they do some brawling out there. Back inside the building but not yet in the ring, Lynn takes control. Jerry Lynn accidentally hurts Lollipop, which gives Credible the opportunity to attack. Lynn goes for the Cradle Piledriver, but Credible backdrops him. Credible goes for the tombstone, but Lynn gets a rollup for the win at 3:24. That was okay, given the time allotted. Credible handcuffs Lynn to the dancer’s cage and abuses him with a steel chair.
Rating: *3/4

MATCH #10: Russian Chain Match – Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn, 7.02.03

Neither of these guys are Russian, as far as I know. The blood flows early, and these two must really hate each other, but I wasn’t really watching TNA at this time so I can’t remember. They do some brawling and some spots with the chain. I’m really not sure why this match had to have the “Russian” distinction, but it does. Lynn hogties Credible and rolls him up for the victory at 7:07. That means Lynn has won two in a row. Credible attacks Lynn after the match again, and gives him the Tombstone Piledriver onto a steel chain.
Rating: *1/2

MATCH #11: Last Man Standing Match – Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn, 7.16.03

This should end the feud. This is one of those stupid LMS matches in which you have to pin the guy first. Both men are bleeding early, and Credible gets the table involved. The blood in this one is starting to get pretty sick. Lynn hits a nice superplex but it only gets two. A few minutes later he hits a beautiful top-rope hurricanrana through a table on the outside of the ring. Lynn goes for the Cradle Piledriver but Lynn counters into a Greco-Roman kick to the nuts. Credible hits a nice superkick and brings Lynn up for the Tombstone Piledriver for three. But can Lynn make it back up in 10 seconds? He gets up at eight. Lynn hits his Piledriver and the count is on. Credible gets up, and hits the Tombstone from the top rope (“That’s Incredible”). Lynn somehow gets up. They do the Tombstone reversal spot, and Lynn hits a Cradle Tombstone Piledriver for a three-count. Lynn executes another piledriver, but a double-pin is the result. Rudy Charles is counting both men down. Lynn barely makes it up to win at 11:02. I’m not sure why Lynn won all three matches, but I don’t like Credible much, and I do like Lynn, so I’m okay with it.
Rating: **

MATCH #12: Wednesday Bloody Wednesday – Christopher Daniels, AJ Styles, Simon Diamond, Shane Douglas & Johnny Swinger vs. Jeff Jarrett, Chris Harris, D-Lo Brown, James Storm, and Raven, 9.03.03

This is basically TNA’s version of War Games, but with only one cage. TNA Director of Authority Erik Watts is out to be the special referee. He sends all the miscellaneous ringside attendants to the back, due to the danger of the upcoming match. The 3 Live Kru will do their jobs. Mike and Don wonder why Watts didn’t tell them to leave. BG James comes right out and calls the match War Games. The first man in the match is Christopher Daniels. Vince Russo is out with Daniels, wearing the NWA World Title belt. That makes me sick. Jeff Jarrett is the first member of the other team, and he’s out with Dusty Rhodes. Christopher Daniels is surprisingly really over as a babyface, even though he is a heel. I bet they could have built up a Daniels versus Jarrett match really well if they ever wanted to. AJ Styles is out next, currently the NWA World Champion. Chris Harris is the fourth man out to even up the sides. He hits a huge spear on AJ right away. Simon Diamond is out to give the heels the advantage again. Diamond & Johnny Swinger are currently the NWA Tag Team Champions. D-Lo Brown comes out to even the odds. Shane Douglas is the next man in the match. There’s a lot of weaponry and a lot of blood in this match, and it’s just not very good. Jarrett of course gets the pin at 20:38 to finally put me out of my misery. That was like the later years of War Games, you know, when it sucked.
Rating: *

They re-show the clip they showed at the beginning of Disc 2. The formatting on this DVD is a little bit screwy I say.

The 411: This is NOT a good DVD at all, but thankfully it is no longer in production so no one will accidentally order thinking it might be good. It breaks *** exactly once in 13 matches, which is not a good percentage at all. I'm not sad they discontinued this one.
Final Score:  2.0   [ Very Bad ]