wrestling / Columns

Top 7 Athletes That WWE Needs To Sign

October 16, 2019 | Posted by Steve Cook

WWE has made things very clear with some of their recent signings: they’re all about professional athletes.

Take a look at the show they’re putting on the WWE Network this Halloween. Your top two matches will feature gentlemen that have never set foot in a WWE ring before, but have competed in mixed martial-arts & boxing. Cain Velasquez & Tyson Fury are in higher demand to WWE’s donors than anybody on the main roster. What does that tell you?

It tells me that WWE needs to look to other sports in order to find their next Superstars. Here are seven athletes that I feel would be magnificent additions to WWE’s roster.

7. Zlatan Ibrahimovic

If you’re going to try to appeal to a global marketplace with a sporting star, you need to involve a practicioner of the sport everybody outside of America calls football. We call it soccer. America’s Major League Soccer has seen a pretty good number of European players come through on the back end of their career to make a buck after teams in bigger leagues across the pond are done with them. Very few have left the impact that Zlatan has in his two seasons with the LA Galaxy.

At a time when cross-town rival LAFC has become one of the most dominant teams in MLS history, Zlatan has single-handedly managed to keep the Galaxy relevant. His amazing personality combined with his genius on the pitch makes him a threat at all times, and his previous play with Ajax, Juventus, Inter Milan, Barcelona, PSG & Manchester United means he has fans among many of football’s largest & most dedicated fanbases. I figure the Crown Prince would be drooling at the idea of getting one of football’s biggest stars in his stadium.

6. Brad Marchand

When you think of sports that often lead to fights, you think of hockey. At least, you used to. Hockey organizations have fallen in love with the idea of playing fast-paced styles that lead to more scoring, so the slow, plodding players that were often along for the ride in order to get into fights have fallen by the wayside. There are still plenty of hard men within the sport, but they don’t have to drop their gloves every game like they did back in the day.

Brad Marchand is not really considered one of those hard men. Unless you root for the Boston Bruins, you probably think he’s a little POS that plays dirty. He’s had numerous suspensions for bush-league play and has even resorted to kissing & licking other players to get under their skin. To be honest, he’s a complete asshole. Which makes him perfect for the world of professional wrestling.

5. Yasiel Puig

The Cincinnati Reds’ 2019 season was only a slight improvement from the previous few in the win-loss column, but there was a certain excitement about this year’s team that the others had been missing. A good amount of it had to do with the acquisition of Yasiel Puig during the off-season. Puig brought a swagger to the Reds that hadn’t been seen in quite some time. Although he didn’t really start to produce on the level people hoped from him until right around the time he was traded, Puig was popular with most Reds fans due to his fun-loving personality and the fact he wasn’t afraid to throw down on behalf of his teammates.

Puig had actually been traded minutes before the fight above took place, which had to be a hair-raising situation for the Cleveland Indians brass that had just made the deal for him. The last thing they needed was their new acquisition for the playoff chase getting himself hurt in a brouhaha. Did you notice that Kevin Dunn-style production when the first punch was thrown? That’s good shit.

Of all the folks in baseball, I’d say Puig has the best shot of getting over in WWE. Baseball has a lot of big guys, but you’ve seen that most of them aren’t much for the fisticuffs. Most of them are content to stand around. Puig’s not the standing around type, as any WWE Superstar that wanted to get in his business would figure out real quick.

4. Elena Delle Donne

I have seen Elena Delle Donne in person before, and believe me when I say she stands out in a crowd. A person with that kind of height & physical presence doesn’t come along every day in my neck of the woods, and probably not in your neck of the woods either. Delle Donne has become one of the greatest women’s basketball players of all time through her time at the University of Delaware & with the Chicago Sky & Washington Mystics of the WNBA.

She’s fought through injuries like every other great basketball player has had to, and come out on the other side better for it. She’s one of the greatest shooters in women’s basketball history, and has attained numbers most men can only dream of in shooting categories. We’re talking about a dedicated athlete with unique physical attributes here. There’s no reason she couldn’t dominate either of WWE’s women’s divisions.

3. Conor McGregor

One of the most controversial men in sports with one of the biggest mouths. McGregor seems like he was born to be a professional wrestler. Instead, he’s in mixed martial arts, at least for now. The man is the biggest draw in MMA PPV history, even surpassing the likes of Brock Lesnar & Ronda Rousey, so you know he has to be on WWE’s radar.

Does he want to be? It’s always tough to say, but we know he’s buried WWE & its Superstars before. He was sure to put over Vince and all the legends while burying all the current people…which is standard WWE procedure. He’d probably be higher than 3 if he was a little bit taller or at least a little bit heavier, or at least a little more successful at the moment.

2. Cam Newton

Killa Cam is one of those athletes that defies logic. A man his size that moves that quick? Completely ridiculous. Unfortunately his football career has run into two problems: Injury issues & Organization issues. You play his style of football (or any style, really) and you’re bound to get hurt. He also works for a franchise that really hasn’t mastered the art of surrounding a quality quarterback with quality talent. They’ve always had some pieces here & there, but the Carolina Panthers have never been a complete team, not even the years they made it to the Super Bowl to lose to Tom Brady & Peyton Manning.

Football and its fans don’t appreciate Cam or his attitude. They would insist he win something before dressing outlandishly & acting a fool. Here in the pro wres we’re all about that type of behavior. Cam talks a mean game & he’s even meaner on the field. I have no doubt it would translate to the squared circle.

1. Simone Biles

Find me somebody who can move better than Simone Biles. You can’t. Queen has a ridiculous amount of accolades even for a modern Olympic athlete. I know everybody now wins the most gold medals and there’s a hot debate over who’s the GOAT, but to me it starts and ends with Biles. She won four gold medals at the one Olympics she’s been at so far, and it’s not like she can compete in the amount of events a swimmer like Michael Phelps can. Since then, she’s been absolutely cleaning up at World Championships. She added five gold medals this past week to a total of nineteen World Championship gold medals in her career.

She’s not a large person, which could prove to be a problem in a prospective wrestling career. But she’d have no problem evading any wrestler trying to get her into a hold. No problem flipping & flopping. No problem getting a crowd behind her. If Simone could learn how to throw a punch, she could be the greatest woman to ever step into the ring. If she wanted to, or if NBCUniversal threw enough money her way for that Olympics/WWE crossover.

article topics :

Conor McGregor, WWE, Steve Cook