wrestling / Columns

Top 7 Pro Wrestling Sidekicks

May 8, 2020 | Posted by Steve Cook
Arn Anderson Retirement Speech

I was sitting by my computer on Monday night looking for things to write about. I saw Murphy. He seems like a good, honest kid. These days, he’s looking to the Monday Night Messiah for some light. He would love to be Seth Rollins’ sidekick and get a good run out of that. As much as some people want to tell me that Murphy has a ton of potential, even they would have to admit at gunpoint that Murphy’s ceiling is as an entertaining sidekick to Seth Rollins.

I’m sure a lot of people would try to yell at me for that take while citing the matches Murphy had on NXT & 205 Live with plenty of star ratings. They don’t have a clue how this business works. People like Murphy back up people like…well I wouldn’t really say Seth Rollins, but in 2020 I guess that’s what they back up. Some of us are meant to be good sidekicks. I’m a good sidekick for Larry Csonka. Murphy tries to be a good sidekick to Seth Rollins. It is what it is.

So we’re going to take a look at the seven most magnificent sidekicks of all time. I noticed a 411 article about this topic from 2012, and that’s past the seven-year statute of limitations.

7. Brutus Beefcake

This is a guy that followed Hulk Hogan wherever he went his entire career. There was a period in the late 1980s where he got over with the Barber gimmick. We all feel sorry for his face getting crushed in. The only places he got work afterwards were the same he got work before…with his buddy Terry.

I kinda feel bad for it. Had he gone one or two more years without his face getting broken, he may have realized his potential. But that didn’t happen. We ended up with Brother Bruti getting jobs thanks to the Hulkster, including a Starrcade 1994 main event that killed the brand. I mean, if you thought Starrcade 1997 or 1998 had bad main events, check out 1994. Some bad stuff there, but we were meant to swallow it because Bruti was Hulk’s sidekick. That’s why Brutus isn’t higher on the list in case the Hulkamaniacs want to ask.

6. Ricardo Rodriguez

Alberto Del Rio was going to be a pretty big deal. On paper, there was no reason to believe otherwise. One thing he needed was a personal ring announcer. There was nobody better to do that than Ricardo Rodriguez.

What an amazing intro, am I right? If I could have Ricardo introduce everything I ever did, I would be in a good place. If he could take bumps in my place that would be a bonus, but all I really need is the intro.

5. Damien Mizdow

The Miz has had a number of sidekicks. As much as I like Alex Riley & the Miztourage, it’s impossible to deny that the best Miz sidekick was Damien Mizdow. Once Miz officially became a movie star after “The Marine 4: Moving Target”, he needed a stunt double. Even though Mick Foley told me that Damien Sandow became a superstar after blowing his Money in the Bank cash-in against John Cena, that didn’t actually happen. So Sandow was happy to be Miz’s stunt-double.

The one thing that bugged me, and nobody else from the reactions I saw, is why Mizdow wasn’t getting in the ring to actually take the bumps there. He took bumps on the outside of the ring, and that was enough to endear him to the masses. I always felt that if he was a true stunt double that he would take bumps in the ring while Miz watched from the outside. So the gimmick never made 100% sense to me. It did win over a lot of people, and if WWE had gotten behind Mizdow after the split he could have been something. They didn’t, and he didn’t.

4. Stevie Richards & The Blue Meanie

Raven was such a thing in ECW that his sidekick needed a sidekick. Stevie Richards served as his sidekick so long and took so many lumps that he needed some help. That’s how we ended up with the Blue Meanie, and then the Blue World Order, which led to Stevie actually getting a push kinda. Big Stevie Cool himself wondered how the hell he was in a triple threat with Terry Funk and the Sandman where the winner would get a shot at Raven’s ECW Championship. One of those things don’t sound like the other now, but it did at the time by gum.

Richards had one other high spot in his career with the Right to Censor. Other than that, his best spot was alongside Raven as a lackey. He was perfect in that role, which led to him screwing ECW over and giving him a dry spell in his career. If he knew what was going on, he could have played the game better. I think Meanie played the game as well as he could have, given the fact he was the Blue Meanie.

3. Virgil

The “Million Dollar Man” character was played perfectly by Ted DiBiase. However, it wouldn’t have been the same if he didn’t have a bodyguard by his side. Virgil was the man assigned for the role, and Virgil played it perfectly. The man was jacked, let’s be honest. He was always there for his employer until that storyline where Roddy Piper helped Virgil see the light, then all bets were off. Virgil saw that light, then ended up winning the Million Dollar Championship.

Virgil saw another light at some point, since he became part of the NWO as Vincent, and fell into that same sidekick role. He eventually tried to become leader of the NWO B-Team, then once WCW closed he tried to keep his Virgil & NWO gimmicks alive. Then, somehow, Soul Train Jones became a go-to for AEW segments. The man knows how to make friends, since he has their back. Maybe he won Cody over during those segments he had with Ted DiBiase Jr., I’m really not sure.

2. Bob Orton Jr.

Cowboy Bob will always be overshadowed by his son in future wrestling history books. Randy was an amazing talent and won many world championships. (He could have been even better if he gave a shit.) Bob was a tremendous wrestler in his own right, and his tag team with Dick Slater gave Jim Cornette some moves to steal for his teams that would revolutionize the craft. Bob gave a lot of people a lot of material.

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper probably benefited from him the most though. Orton was his Ace. His bodyguard. He loved that guy. People like to say that wrestling fans are dumb, but they can tell when people have chemistry. Roddy Piper & Bob Orton’s chemistry went off the page. Bob always had Piper’s back, until Piper went off to do movies and left him behind. Then things went a bit haywire.

1. Arn Anderson

I think some people might get mad at Arn being referred to as a “sidekick”. Double A has a tremendous amount of respect among my peers, and deservedly so. The fact of the matter is that he was Ric Flair’s Enforcer. Whether he deserved to be a world champion or not was irrelevant, because that was Ric’s destiny. Arn always wanted what was best for Ric & the Four Horsemen, and was willing to do anything to make it happen.

Arn knew his role. He was one of the best ever at tag team wrestling and had a knack for 15-minute Television Championship matches. That didn’t mean he was The Man. His buddy Ric had that sewn up. If the Naitch needed a little help from time to time, Arn was willing to give it to him. Ric could always rely on Arn. If we all had a best friend like Arn Anderson, we’d be pretty well off.