Winfree’s MLW Underground (Episode 8) Review 8.29.20

Hey there everyone, Winfree back again as MLW continues re-airing their Underground program. After last weeks very abbreviated episode let’s see what’s in store for us tonight.

Oh, some EXTREME Horsemen video at first. They’re in a limo, and they’re going to jump Terry Funk. A cheap ripoff of the time the Horsemen jumped Dusty Rhodes, but I’m not sure if they should get credit for at least knowing it’s a cheap ripoff or extra scrutiny for it. Somehow that segment actually made me happy to hear Powerman 5000 just because I know it’s over.

Styles welcomes us to the episode proper, mentions that Funk and Corino have a no rope barbed wire match coming up and talks about the attack from the EXTREME Horsemen. We’ll have tag team champions by the end of the episode when Doctor Death and PJ Friedman battle Simon Diamond and CW Anderson.

Styles mentions that Funk vs. Corino will be Corino’s first barbed wire match while Funk hasn’t had one in over a decade. Oh, apparently in the back Bill Alphonso has been attacked. I can’t say I’m surprised. Styles blames La Parka for the attack to hype up Sabu vs. La Parka and they wont show any of what’s happened backstage on TV. I’m not sure if I’m grateful for that or annoyed by the cheap trick.

Apparently that attack means Bill Alphonso wont be on MLW programming or events going forward. Oh, so they couldn’t afford him anymore. Got it. Styles hypes up the young up and coming Paul London who will debut against Jerry Lynn soon. We get a rundown of Lynn’s bad luck in MLW leading to his alliance with Christopher Daniels. London has a promo, he promises he’s the era of the underground while Lynn is a bitter old man. London doesn’t need anyone else, he says the new f’n show will give way to the next f’n generation.

Simply Luscious promises to debut in MLW soon. Styles again tries to differentiate MLW from other promotions by promising this isn’t about the stars of the past wanting one more run with their buddies, everyone here earns their spot.

Steve Corino with another video promo. Wasn’t one enough? He promises Terry Funk that the time for running is over. He is nervous about their upcoming match, noting Funk’s history with barbed wire. But he has spent time trying to evolve beyond those kinds of matches during his time with Zero1 in Japan, yet the 148 year old Funk feels he’s got something to prove. Funk has to prove he’s the king of something, but as much as Corino is going to hate it and he’s going to get cut up doing it but he will humiliate Funk in his own match. He promises to get advice from the great barbed wire competitors in Japan so he can finally put Funk into retirement.

Styles reminds us that Los Maximos were taken out by unknown assailants. Los Maximos have a video promo and they’re not happy with that clip of them getting beaten down being shown. They remember what happened and how it happened. They give their assailants one week to come clean, and promise to be there in their faces.

Apparently Kenzo Suzuki will be debuting in MLW soon since MLW has a working relationship with World Japan Pro Wrestling. Next a recap of the attack on Funk that opened the show. How is this almost as bad as the average RAW episode these days? Starting with 20 minutes of just talking? They replay the attack, then another Corino promo. Hasn’t 2020 been hard enough? Corino says he had to travel to the fencing around an airport to find barbed wire unlike Funk who lives around the stuff all the time. He says he’s a professional wrestler while Funk is an animal. He repeats that same tired bit about doing what Funk did just faster, as traffic drives by and I wish for the bliss of semi trucks downshifting to drown out this inane blather. Cornio says he doesn’t want the reputation for blood and scars but he’ll take it from Funk. He promises something violent and extreme to finally retire Terry Funk.

Back to Styles, who reminds us that Funk has been attacked. I for one am shocked I haven’t heard of this before this point in the broadcast. We get a list of the top contenders for the title. Styles reminds us that Awesome defeated Tanaka after powerbombing him out of the ring and through a table and left Tanaka unable to continue the match for the first time in his career. Apparently this is a much angrier version of Mike Awesome after being abused by “sports entertainment”. Styles laments that a man with Awesome’s physical gifts was saddled with bad gimmicks, I think we all do but the pointless shots at bigger companies are beyond tiring. Awesome vs. Kojima is coming. Promo from Awesome, he says everyone saw him destroy Tanaka and Kojima is next. He wants the title and is the future of hybrid underground wrestling.

Seems we’ll get some censored footage of La Parka and Sabu coming up next week. Styles promises there’s a tag team title match coming up, but I’m not sure I believe him at this point. We get a quick recap of each teams road to the finals. I mean they each had only one match but this will fill air time I guess.

Styles says MLW is about a hybrid of wrestling styles and the fusion of them as people look for the title. He says ultraviolence is coming when Funk and Corino fight in their no rope barbed wire match. Good Lord, give me the strength to deal with this mindless repetition.

Styles says Michael Shane is here and has rubbed everyone the wrong way with his attitude. We get a video of Shane in the back when he ran into Francine when he was changing. Styles now mentions the great junior heavyweights, and denounces the use of cruiserweight because of what WWE has done to that moniker. Seriously, enough with complaining about WWE.

Finally, a wrestling match on what is ostensibly a wrestling program. With about 5 minutes left on the video. I don’t drink, but some times I get the appeal.

Match #1 – MLW Tag Team Title Match: Steve Williams & PJ Friedman vs. Simon Diamond & CW Anderson

Diamond and Anderson grab chairs and look to ambush Williams and Friedman when they come out. Friedman takes a couple of chair shots, Williams attacks them both for that. Williams runs wild on Diamond and Anderson for a bit but the numbers eventually catch up to him, though he takes them both down with clotheslines. Anderson takes some abuse, but a left from Anderson and a right from Diamond stun him. They hit some double team moves before Diamond heads out to the apron. Diamond tagged in and they work over Williams for a bit.

Williams keeps kicking out of pin attempts. Friedman gets up to the apron as Williams is suplexed by Diamond. Williams fires up with strikes to Diamond but Anderson cuts him off with a spine buster after a blind tag. We get a cut, come back to Friedman somehow legally in and eating double super kicks for the pin.

OFFICIAL RESULT: EXTREME Horsemen Simon Diamond and CW Anderson defeated Williams and Friedman at about 4 minutes shown

Rating: 1.5 stars

I don’t really have anything to say. I’m not sure how much editing went into this, and I get that Diamond and Anderson are chickenshit heels who couldn’t match Williams and Friedman in a fair fight but this still felt stupid. More angle than match really.

Diamond and Anderosn celebrate as we end the episode.

1.0

The final score: review Extremely Horrendous

The 411

This was a mess. Endless repetition about Funk and Corino, replaying the attack on Funk, 2 separate Corino promos, as much time spent complaining about WWE as putting over your own talent, and a 4 minute angle match. This might as well be the RAW template. If I had access to that dumpster fire picture I'd use it.