wrestling / TV Reports
Winfree’s MLW Underground (Episode 9) Review
Image Credit: MLW/YouTube
Loading...Hey there everyone, Winfree here again. After the absolute garbage fire that was last weeks offering one can only hope for something better. Mostly because I shudder to imagine how much worse it could get.
No little pre-intro bit, it’s straight into the music this time. Joey Styles welcomes us to the episode, he promises a look at the Sabu vs. La Parka feud ahead of their match tonight. Terry Funk will also address being attacked last week, and good God if there’s one thing I never want to hear about again it’s Funk and Corino but here we are. Los Maximos will also name their attackers from a few weeks ago. That sends us to the Maximos in the back, they got punked from behind last time and while they didn’t see who it was they’ve got an idea. They hope they have the cajones to answer them in the ring.
Los Maximos hit the ring and get a mic. It’s not hooked up well so we don’t have great audio quality for what they’re saying. One of them plays with the crowd, the other gets the mic and says whoever attacked them needs to come out here and face them like men.
Samoan Island Tribe comes out but the Maximos jump them with aerial attacks.
Match #1: Los Maximos vs. Samoan Island Tribe
A lot of dives early from Los Maximos, they isolate Samu in the ring and double team him for a bit. The crowd apparently wants Rico, that might be a first. Joel and Jose continue to isolate Samu. Mana into the ring and now it’s his turn to get attacked but he winds up driving Jose onto Joel to take control. Jose sent to the outside and Samu lays into him with chops then crotches him on the post. Mana is chopping Joel in the corner then hits a vertical suplex. Black Hole slam from Mana, and he tags in Samu. Headbutts from Samu, he continues abusing Joel for a bit. Top rope back suplex and Joel heads outside but Mana is after him. Mana drives Joel into the ring post then sends him back into the ring.
Very awkward slow motion kick from Samu, he’s not very flexible, and he tags in Mana. Wishbone split to Joel. Joel tries to fire up, hits an enziguri then a drop kick and he goes up top for a swanton bomb and hits it. Samu in to break up the pin attempt, Joel back up and dives into a Samoan drop from Mana. Samu tagged back in. Samu sets Joel up top, Joel counters out and hits a moonsault to finally tag out to Jose. Jose in with a drop kick and he runs wild on both Samoans for a bit. Jose tries a noggin knocker, bad idea as they hit a double headbutt on him. Double flapjack to Jose, then Mana puts him on the top rope again. Mana up with him, Joel tries to get in on this but Mana hits a super Samoan drop while Samu cuts Joel off and we’re done.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Samoan Island Tribe defeated Los Maximos at about 7 minutes shown
Rating: Butternut. . . SQUASH
I debated giving this a squash rating, it’s not like Los Maximos had 0 offense, but at the end of the day this was designed to make the Tribe look like monsters and once the match got started it was all Samoans outside of a single hope sequence.
Post match we’ve still got a beat down to Los Maximos, Joel eats a Blue Thunder Driver and Jose takes a TKO.
Styles back to hyping the main event. He sends us to a La Parka promo. It’s all in Spanish which I don’t speak much of, he’s interrupted by Sabu with the spike anyway. Someone’s with Sabu helping him, I don’t recognize him though. Styles helps me out by saying that’s Bill Alphonso’s brother Fidel better known as the Cuban Assassin who will be in Sabu’s corner against La Parka tonight.
Apparently the attack on PJ Friedman last week might have been so bad his future is in jeopardy. That leads to Diamond and Anderson getting a promo. Diamond says he was kept down for 12 years but he channeled that and they became the tag team champions. He says they’ll hold those titles for all of 2003 to help revitalize the tag team division. They know they’re better, which means their opponents have already lost. Anderson asks wrestling fans what they expected, no one can stop the two of them then asks Friedman how his leg is doing. He says an Anderson can always spot a weakness, and he found Friedman’s. He says the EXTREME Horsemen will be the thing that takes MLW to being the best promotion in the world.
CM Punk promo next, he says everyone should know his face by now. He’s straight edge, which means he’s better than everyone watching. Maybe that’s why Styles didn’t want him here. He’s a nonconformist, makes up his own rules, and is his own man. Even in 2003 that would have felt like someone trying way too hard to be the edgy outsider. He says his destiny is to be champion wherever he goes (his UFC run would beg to differ but in wrestling terms he’s correct) and so everyone should be afraid of him. Having Punk talk right after Diamond and Anderson just isn’t fair to those two, he’s so much better at it than they are.
Cut to the Samoan Island Tribe in the back. They say if the invitation to MLW was supposed to satisfy them they should have been in the tag tournament. Instead they got to fight Los Maximos, they start to continue but Los Maximos show up for a brawl. The Samoans get the better of this, then they look at the camera and say this is what will happen to everyone and then says “get ready to be tea bagged”. As far as closing lines go, that one gave me a small aneurysm.
Styles promises we haven’t seen the last of Los Maximos and the Samoan Island Tribe. He runs down our top ten contenders for the world title. Styles hypes up Awesome vs. Kojima for the title and puts over Kojima’s work making the MLW title a true World title by defending it in Japan. He then mentions the trail of bodies Awesome is leaving in his wake in MLW.
Styles next hypes up the working relationships that MLW has with various Japanese promotions. Then we get highlights from the first match between Sabu and La Parka, Styles says the censors are standing by in case the footage is too gruesome. Apparently this presented like a normal match, so I’ll call it as such.
Match #2: Sabu vs. La Parka
La Parka chucks his chair at Sabu to get things going as Fonzie leaps to the outside to avoid the carnage. The ref wants the chair from La Parka, La Parka poses with the chair and Sabu gets one of his own. La Parka puts his chair on the outside and we get a cut. Back to action as Sabu is on the top rope, they trade blows then La Parka is shoved to the apron. Sabu tries a tornado DDT on the apron but La Parka blocks it and he clotheslines Sabu into the ring. Sabu runs the ropes and hits a tornado DDT and both men are down. Camel clutch now from Sabu, he bails on that quickly then tries another DDT but La Parka avoids it and hits a spinning heel kick. Both men outside now and we get some brawling into the crowd.
La Parka gets a chair and brains Sabu with it. More brawling around the ringside area. La Parka to the top rope and dives onto Sabu, impressive leap. La Parka sets up a table, then pulls Sabu up to the ring apron. Chair shot to Sabu and he drops to the outside but avoids the table. La Parka tries to dive onto Sabu but Sabu avoids it and La Parka hits a dive onto the table.
Another cut and Sabu hits a triple jump dive onto La Parka on the outside. La Parka is bleeding now, his mask is torn open around the eyes so you can see his blood. Back into the ring and Sabu lays into La Parka with punches. Another cut, Sabu is being pinned but kicks out. Sabu is stuck in the tree of woe position, and La Parka drop kicks a chair into his face. Kicks from La Parka, Sabu fires up from and we get some brawling exchanges. La Parka gets the better of that with his kicking arsenal. Sabu avoids a charge in the corner and La Parka posts himself. Sabu dives onto him on the outside. Fonzie brings the table over, Sabu sets La Parka on the table. Sabu into the ring, triple jump leg drop onto La Parka through the table. Sabu back in the ring, we get another cut. Back and Sabu has a pair of scissors, that’s where the footage cuts out.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Not Shown, about 11 minutes of footage aired
Rating: NA
I’m not rating that, not that it was bad but it was so incomplete I don’t think it can be fairly assessed in that form.
Back with Styles, who says we were warned about the censors and that we might have been cut off there. I’m sure the advertisement in the corner during that match to buy the tape/DVD of the event had nothing to do with where and when that was cut off. But that does lead into the main event.
Match #3: Sabu w/ the Cuban Assassin vs. La Parka
La Parka has a fairly elaborate mask piece on, it looks like an orc from Lord of the Rings. La Parka takes that off and poses for a bit as Sabu makes his way in. Some posturing early, La Parka keeps his chair while Sabu asks about the legality of that. Considering what they’re about to do that seems like a silly point. La Parka places the chair on the ring post.
La Parka gets Sabu into the corner early and they start circling back in the middle of the ring. They tie up and La Parka again gets Sabu to the corner. Sabu with a school boy into an armbar but they get tied up in the ropes and wind up being separated. Single leg from Sabu and they’re back to trading holds on the mat. Kicks from La Parka as they regain their feet to get the brawl going. They roll to the outside and start brawling in the ringside area. Sabu tosses a chair into the head of La Parka. Triple jump dive onto La Parka in the crowd. Big Fonzie and Sabu set up a table but La Parka fights back.
There’s a but, back in the ring Sabu hits a triple jump moonsault for a near fall. La Parka set on a table in the ring, and a chair is placed on him. La Parka fights back and brains Big Fonzie, puts him on the table and Sabu blindly dives onto his manager. Flying body press from La Parka to Sabu and that ends things.
OFFICIAL RESULT: La Parka pinned Sabu at about 6 minutes shown
Rating: 1 star
I’m not sure how much was lost through editing, but I can only rate what I see. This was a little disjointed and spotty, which is to be expected I guess given the participants. Maybe with the full match things look and feel different but as presented here, not much to go on.
That brings the feud to one win each, so the rubber match is all but guaranteed. La Parka celebrates as the episode ends.
