World Championship Wrestling (4.29.1989) Review

-Originally aired April 29, 1989.

-Your host is Jim Ross.

-Ric Flair shows up right away with a bevvy of babes because he didn’t want to wait for WrestleWar to start the victory celebration. JR announces that Flair is scheduled to wrestle next week, and suddenly Ricky Steamboat shows up with his NWA World Title belt and says that the fans know where his strength comes from. It comes from all the energy he saves wearing a belt that doesn’t have a heavy and burdensome name plate on the front. Steamboat declares “This is the last showdown!” and pauses like he’s about to say something else…and then he doesn’t and JR finally takes the mic from him to wrap up the segment. And then Steamboat has one more thought and finishes up.

BOB ORTON (with Gary Hart) vs. TRENT KNIGHT
-The bizarre saga of Orton’s name continues, as this week he’s dropped “Cowboy” and he’s back to just plain Bob Orton. Orton stomps down on Trent Knight as Gary Hart heads over to do guest commentary, but JR gets alerted that Hart has an emergency phone call in the back, and Gary takes off to the locker room to check on it. And the next time we see Gary Hart, he’s getting the shit kicked out of him by a very angry Dick Murdoch, who’s unloading on him in the aisle and back to ringside with a cowbell. Orton runs out to grab a chair and defend his manager, and it appears that he’s losing this one by count-out, but we never get an official decision.

-Dick Murdoch officially issues the challenge for a bullrope match at WrestleWar.

JUNKYARD DOG vs. RON SIMMONS
-JYD talks to Simmons before starting the match, and the gist seems to be that he wants to see if Simmons wants to get a different referee, because it’s Teddy Long in there. Simmons shoves him, JYD retaliates, and Long is all over him for it. Headbutt by JYD gets a slooooooooow two-count. Slam by Simmons gets one, and both of them just decide to throw down at this point. They fight into the ropes and Long tries to separate them, getting himself shoved down. JYD chokes Simmons, but backs him into the corner. Simmons knocks him down and goes for the pin, and Teddy Long gives a lightning-fast three count and celebrates as he raises Simmons’ arm.

-Jim Ross demands to speak to Jim Herd, who happens to be in the building. Herd announces that “Teddy Long is Long Gone.” With a dry cool wit like that, he could be an action hero! So Teddy Long is officially fired as a referee, and the crowd couldn’t hear the announcement and there was no satisfying shocked reaction from Teddy Long because he wasn’t there for the announcement. See, Danny Davis’ shitcanning hit all the right notes two years earlier.

GREAT MUTA (with Gary Hart) vs. LEE SCOTT
-Spinning kick by Muta, and he throws Scott out to the floor, where Gary Hart is icing his cheek to sell the assault from earlier. Missile dropkick by Muta as JR announces that Gary Hart will be signing Muta to “Oriental matches” in the near future. Nerve hold and a backbreaker by Muta, and the moonsault finishes.

-Iron Sheik is here with his club bearer, Rip Morgan, because it’s time for Sting to answer the Persian clubs challenge. Sting is hell-bent on making fetch happen by calling JR “Rossy” again. So the gag here is that Sting doesn’t understand how the Persian clubs work, so he asks Sheik to show him. Sting can’t understand it, so Sheik does another demo. Sting still isn’t getting it so he asks him to do it again, with Sheik looking really tired by the time he’s done. And then Sting says he’d rather wrestle than lift clubs and leaves. THAT’S the ending your going with? You’re not going to go with Sting saying “Okay, I’m ready” and doing 30 lifts and then Sheik being so tired from the three demos that he can only do ten or Sting doing literally anything else? How does Sting even look good here? He just welched on a bet!

SAMOAN SWAT TEAM (with Paul E. Dangerously) vs. GEORGE SOUTH & GREG EVANS
-SST clears the ring, and then Fatu goes to the floor and suplexes Evans. JR rattles off the card for next week, and hot damn the debut of the Dynamic Dudes is imminent.

-In the ring South dropkicks Samu. Samu throws a kick that doesn’t even come close but South is a trooper and takes the bump anyway. Evans takes a back suplex off the top rope, and a top rope splash by Fatu ends things.

-Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat are back out here for an odd segment, like they need to cover all the points they forgot to make earlier. Flair wants to win at WrestleWar. Steamboat disagrees with this.

-Lex Luger vows revenge against Michael Hayes for what he did in Chicago. We wait until Luger’s finished to get context for that, and it turns out that in a recent non-title match in Chicago, Hayes got a win over Luger with brass knuckles.

MICHAEL P.S. HAYES vs. STEVE CASEY
-Casey appears to be about one forged prescription away from being Luger’s stunt double. He dropkicks Hayes out to the floor, and Hayes gets frightened by the sight of Luger watching the match and backs into the ring, where Casey nearly wins on a fluke roll-up. Casey whips him back and forth from corner to corner, but Hayes mows him down and a DDT finishes.

APPARENTLY NON-TITLE: EDDIE GILBERT & RICK STEINER (US Tag Team Champions, with Missy Hyatt) vs. MIKE ROTUNDA & “Dr. Death” STEVE WILLIAMS (World Tag Team Champions)
-Steiner gets stuck in the Varsity Club corner and beaten down. Steiner slips away and tags in Gilbert, who armdrags Williams but also ends up in the wrong corner, and Rotunda takes a cheap shot from the apron.Gilbert takes a beating but gets a lucky shot and tags out. Kevin Sullivan heads to ringside and starts cutting Eddie Gilbert’s hair. Missy Hyatt tries to make the save and Sullivan throws her to the floor and starts to cut her hair, but the Road Warriors head out to make the save, and it’s a big schmoz to close the show/.

4.5

The final score: review Poor

The 411

So many things here where they ALMOST have it and somehow nothing lands...Teddy Long gets fired in the most underwhelming way possible, the Persian clubs segment totally crapped out, Steamboat and Flair needed a mulligan, and the ending was a mess.