wrestling / Video Reviews
WWF at Boston Garden Review (5.13.1989)
Loading...-Cold open: Tony Schiavone announces that Zeus is in the building. Everyone turn out the lights and hide!
-It’s May 13, 1989.
-Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Lord Alfred Hayes. Tony announces that the WWF has a new king, Jim Duggan, whose victory over Haku aired on “Superstars of Wrestling” earlier in the day.
RED ROOSTER vs. BROOKLYN BRAWLER
-Hammerlocks are exchanged and Rooster elbows the Brawler off of him. Rooster tricks Brawler into going for an elbow and just rolls out of the way and Brawler is so upset about being embarassed, he slaps the cock around and it turns into a fist fight. Hiptoss by the Rooster, followed by flying headscissors.
-Rooster stays on the Brawler. Kneelift gets two. Rooster goes back to the arm. Brawler tries to take control with a shoulder ram, but he whips the Rooster and then crashes on the corner charge. Rooster stays on the arm until Brawler throws him to the floor…but Rooster lands on his feet, heads back in, and throws Brawler to the floor.
-Match goes to the floor and Rooster should know better because, again, “Brawl” is right there in the guy’s name. And sure enough Brawler rams him into the post and takes over the match. Back in the ring, a clothesline gets two. Brawler applies a chinlock, but, uh, a brawling chinlock. Rooster backs Brawler into the corner to break the hold, but Brawler whips him and Rooster Flair-flips all the way down to the floor.
-Back in, Rooster surprises Brawler with a cradle for two. Bodypress for two more. Brawler panics and stomps away to keep Rooster on the mat, then heads to the top rope, only to get slammed off. Brawler tries to charge him in the corner, but Rooster sunset flips him for three. 1 for 1. Pretty standard opener.
DUSTY WOLFE vs. BARRY HOROWITZ
-Today I learned: Dusty has self-published a 99-cent Kindle memoir called The Zeus Handler about the WWF in 1989, when he was given the awesome responsibility of looking after Tiny Lister for all of his arena appearances.
-Wolfe dropkicks Horowitz out to the floor early on. Back in, Wolfe applies an armbar and Horowitz has trouble escaping. Good cover of a blown spot as Wolfe goes for a monkeyflip in the corner, but his foot legit slips and Horowitz just turns it into an atomic drop counter to take over. Rolling cradle by Horowitz gets two.
-Wolfe makes a comeback, but Horowitz counters a backdrop attempt with an elbow. Double underhook by Horowitz, and a back elbow off the second rope gets three. HOROWITZ WINS! HOROWITZ WINS! HOROWITZ WINS! 2 for 2. Pretty bland in a lot of ways, but they played off of each other pretty well and the match flowed nicely.
TIM HORNER vs. MEGA MAN MAGEE
-I’m actually more excited about this than the unearthing of the Bret Hart dark match, because this one has the added magic of copyright infringement.
-Horner works the arm of Mega Man Magee and Magee does some flippy-flippies to get out. Horner works the arm and Boston has already checked out of this one and started the “boring” chant. Horner connects with a shoulderblock and Magee laughs right in his face. Magee dares him to try again and this time Horner slides between his legs and armdrags him into an armbar.
-Flying headscissors by Horner. He charges and Magee dumps him to the floor. They “brawl” out there before heading back in. Magee plants him on the top rope and jerks him down to the mat by the arm. Magee mega-chops Horner through the ropes and onto the floor. Back in, Magee misses a corner charge and nearly puts Magee away, but Magee rolls through a bodypress and comes out on top for the three-count. 2 for 3. Magee has this tentative way of moving that he was never really able to get away from. He had the moves, but it was like he had to stop and think before each one.
-Sean Mooney talks to Koko B. Ware, who has a new look, painting his hair so that he matches Frankie.
KOKO B. WARE vs. WARLORD
-We’re happily nearing the end of “Piledriver” for Koko’s entrance. It’s a fine song but in a big arena, it sounds too mellow for a happy dancing guy’s arrival.
-Koko decks Warlord right away and dazes him with a headbutt. Bodypress by Koko gets two and Warlord is totally thrown by how well Koko is doing so early in the bout. Case in point, Koko throws a dropkick and Warlord accidentally Andres himself in the ropes, and Koko carpes the diem and lights into Warlord with everything he has until Warlord manages to raise a boot and free himself.
-Bearhug by the Warlord, and Koko fights it by leaning back and forcing Warlord into a standing cowgirl. Koko gets free and Warlord clotheslines Koko into the next TV taping. On the floor, Warlord rams him into the post as this one slows waaaaaaaay down. Koko slingshots himself back in for a sunset flip and a two-count. Cradle by Koko gets another two. Warlord is so frustrated he jaws with the referee, so Koko just sneaks up for another two. Missile dropkick gets two. Koko hits the ropes in search of something to put Warlord away, but Warlord just catches him and powerslams him for three. 3 for 4. Slowed down a bit when Warlord was in control but I kind of dug the story here, with Warlord getting caught half-assing it and not taking Koko seriously, and suddenly finding himself on defense.
-Rougeaus show off their new entrance capes, donated by area schoolchildren right here in Boston. Jacques makes fun of the stereotypical Boston accent and just does a total southern hick stereotype voice for it.
ROCKERS vs. FABULOUS ROUGEAU BROTHERS
-And there’s a payoff to Jacques’ promo as he gets in the ring and spreads the cape open to reveal a Montreal Canadiens jersey for cheap heat. Aww, man, it’s a good thing Sully and Sully are there to stop Sully from charging into the ring.
-Raymond starts with Shawn Michaels, whose blonde hair is so long and thick in 1989 he looks like he got kicked out of Nelson for making the other guys look bad. Shawn gets an early two-count with an assist from his partner in the corner on an Irish whip/clothesline combo. Rockers take turns working the arm and the Rougeaus try the same Irish whip clothesline combo, but Jacques accidentally takes out his brother, and we have a time-out for hugs.
-Match comes to a standstill as Jacques and Marty have a contest to see who can do the better kip-ups. Marty catches Jacques as he attempts a sneak attack and the Rockers start working the leg. Raymond sneaks in and rakes the eyes. Jacques tries to capitalize, but he leapfrogs Marty after a few minutes of having his leg worked over so he just collapses from the pain and Shawn Michaels manages to tag in.
-Rockers stay on the leg until Marty marties it up by falling victim to a handful of hair from Raymond, and he gets overwhelmed quickly. Rougeaus keep the ring cut in half and work him over for a good bit with double-teaming, a Boston crab, an abdominal stretch that may or may not have the foot where it needs to be. Jacques applies a sharpshooter on Marty, and Shawn makes a mental note to learn how to apply that move himself in case it ever comes up.
-Camel clutch by Jacques. Fantastic visual follows as Marty forces himself to walk step by step to the corner while fighting the hold. That leads to the false hot tag, which leads to the Rougeaus bungling an attempted double team, which leads to the real hot tag. Danny Davis actually manages to restore order, earning his reinstatement. We’re down to Shawn and Jacques in the ring. Raymond trips Shawn from the floor and Jacques capitalizes quickly with a splash, but Shawn raises the knees and cradles him immediately for three. Whew! 4 for 5.
SPECIAL INTERVIEW
-Sean Mooney hypes No Holds Barred for the Boston crowd and welcomes the man claiming to be the real star of the film, Zeus. He’s bigger and badder than Hulk Hogan, he says. Sean, who addresses his guest as “Mr. Zeus” in the highlight of this segment, asks what he thinks of Hulk Hogan as a man and Zeus declares that he’s a woman, and based on what we now know about the potential impact of steroids, he may know what he’s talking about. 4 for 6.
KING DUGGAN vs. HAKU
-The “Superstars” match where Duggan won the crown aired earlier this day, but neither man has the king gear because the TV match ended with Bobby Heenan leaving in a huff with the crown and cape.
-So Haku is rightly pissed off and attacks Duggan on the floor. Great character moment as Duggan is such a committed patriot that he keeps his arm elevated while getting his ass kicked so his flag won’t touch the floor, and finally Haku grabs it and throws it aside to huge heat.
-In the ring, Haku chokes Duggan but gets backdropped. Haku works the arm and yanks the tights for a very unwelcome shot of kingly ass. Duggan retaliates by half-mooning Haku on purpose. Haku comes back with kicks and chops. He clamps on the nerve hold, and Duggan sells it like a cartoon character getting bonked on the head with a large mallet. Splash misses and Duggan connects with the three-point stance to finish, clean as a sheet and he chases Haku off with the 2×4 afterward. And they will still seriously attempt to build an extended house show feud from this. 4 for 7.
BIG JOHN STUDD vs. ANDRE THE GIANT
-Studd strolls over and hammers Andre into the ropes to start. Andre gets free and chokes him, and Big John tumbles out to the floor. Back in, Andre applies the inevitable bearhug. Studd fights it, so Andre chops him down and sits on him. Strap-assisted chokehold, as we’re really at the point where Andre only had one match in him.
-Studd starts to fight back and the Artist Formerly Known as King Haku shows up for moral support. Andre knocks Studd out to the floor and Haku pounces, which brings out King Duggan and the 2×4 to chase off the guy who already got his ass kicked today on TV and tonight in the arena. And then Haku just runs into the ring to draw the DQ, and that brings Duggan in to clonk him with the 2×4 and then spraypaint “Bitch” on Haku’s chest and then take a big shit on his grave and then somehow cut a promo to hype their next house show match. 4 for 8.
