WWF Prime Time Wrestling (12.18.1989) Review

-We’ve reached the end of Prime Time on the Network, and I’m hoping that I’m causing good karma by typing that because the last time I did that they had uploaded a slew of episodes by the time the review was published.

-Originally aired December 18, 1989.

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan in Studio A, Rowdy Roddy Piper in Studio B. Gorilla dubs this episode “Stump the Weasel.” Gorilla has three trivia questions that he will ask at random points in the show, and the first co-host to give two correct answers will win. Loser spends the Christmas night episode in a Santa suit. Gorilla and Bobby throw some inside baseball, wishing a happy birthday to a WWF fan named Jessica, and Bobby rolls his eyes and calls her a little punk. It’s his daughter.

PAUL ROMA vs. HAKU
-Joined in progress from Madison Square Garden. Backbreaker from Haku gets Gorilla’s highest rating, a “Well-executed” AND a “That’ll take the starch out of you.” Shoulderbreaker gets two. Nerve hold by Haku, who has yet to learn of the hold’s effectiveness under the chin, so Roma survives and elbows out, with a sunset flip getting two. But Haku sits on Roma’s back and tries the nerve hold again, but Roma gets to his feet and does a nice display of strength when he lifts Haku for the electric chair, doing it from a squat position instead of just going to his knees and propping himself up.

-Roma rams Haku into the turnbuckle ten times. “Suplex city” by Roma, but he misses a corner charge and gets knocked out in Patera-like fashion by a superkick for the three-count. What we got to see of this was pretty good.

-Back in the studio, where Gorilla is completely disgusted by Heenan’s attempt to bribe him for the questions. Only three bucks?!

UPDATE
-We go to pre-taped words from Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake, and Hulk is wearing the WWF Title belt. See, that’s where they went totally wrong with the Mr. Perfect thing. Destroying the belt with a hammer is an amazing visual, but it’s meaningless if Hulk just has 100 other belts lying around for back-up. He should have just gone without a belt until he got a win at the Rumble. Or at least SOME kind of angle on Superstars. Make a big deal out of Hulk getting a new belt, instead of “Yeah, Hulk cut a tearful promo, here he is with a shiny new belt and we’re not even going to draw attention to it. “Anyway, Hulkamania is the strongest force in the universe but you probably already knew that.
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ROWDY RODDY PIPER vs. TOM STONE
-Tom Stone laughs at the kilt and gets rammed into the BOTTOM turnbuckle and dumped on the floor. We get a rare head-in-the-box promo from Brother Love, who says Ravishing Rick Rude has promised revenge for his humiliation. Back suplex by Hot Rod, and he covers Stone with his kilt for the three-count.

QUESTION NUMBER ONE!
-“Macho King” Randy Savage won the Intercontinental Title in 1986 in a match at Boston Garden. Who did he beat?

-Piper guesses Don Muraco, which is kind of a breach of company policy in 1989. Heenan correctly answers “Tito Santana” and then goes full Meltzer on his co-hosts by bringing up the attendance of 15,911 fans. The History of WWE says it was 16, 180, but hey, close enough to win the Showcase.

DINO BRAVO (with Jimmy Hart & Canadian Earthquake) vs. RANDY FOX
-Canned heat is going crazy here. We get pre-taped words from Dino, promising that the Intercontinental Title will be his.

-Dino stunguns Fox and follows with an inverted atomic drop. Back suplex gets two, as Dino lifts Fox and opts for a piledriver. He picks him up at two again, and even the reformed Danny Davis is starting to reach his limit with Dino. Alfred suspects that this match is intended to send a message to the Warrior. Side suplex, and Dino finally settles for the three-count and calls it a night. Earthquake hits the ring and squashes Fox.

RUGGED RONNIE GARVIN vs. SPIKE JONES
-Jones is a beefy guy for a jobber. He sends Garvin into the ropes and hoists him up for a bearhug, and Garvin gets free with a headbutt. Jones gets to his feet and lifts Garvin like he’s packing up his troubles in an old kit bag. Garvin fights back, slamming Jones so hard that he wants to go back to West Virginia. More headbutts while we get words from Valentine, complaining about Garvin wearing his own shin guard. Garvin does the black & blue danube waltz all over Jones’ body with the Garvin stomp, and the sharpshooter gets the submission. Garvin’s so happy he’s going to celebrate with cocktails for two.

-Roddy Piper calls Ronnie Garvin “The Hands of Stone.” He’s the 1989 version of Honey Badger.

QUESTION #2
-What was Hulk Hogan’s name in No Holds Barred? Bobby Heenan guesses “Hulk Hogan as himself,” essentially. Rowdy Roddy Piper guesses Rip. Bobby Heenan is the true winner for not watching No Holds Barred.

ROCKERS vs. BROOKLYN BRAWLER & DALE WOLFE
-From Superstars.

-Brawler elbows Janetty down and stomps him out to the apron. Janetty baseball slides back in, but Brawler blocks the attempted sunset flip and bites Janetty, having a strong week. So he tags Shawn Michaels, who has some good luck working the arm until Brawler gives him a thumb to the eye. Brawler heads to the top and gets slammed off, and Brawler’s DONE, tagging in Wolfe, who gets double-teamed by the Rockers. We get pretaped words from Mr. Fuji, who says the Rockers run all over the ring because they can’t stay in one place and wrestle.

-Double fistdrop by the Rockers gets the three-count. And suddenly Mr. Fuji is here in person, heading into the ring and cutting a promo and challenging the two idiots to a match where the Powers of Pain will make them suffer like the dogs that they are. Rockers respond by absolutely kicking the shit out of Fuji and leaving his carcass laid out in the middle of the ring. Jesse Ventura’s disgust, as always, is the highlight of the week.

EVENT CENTER
-Bad News Brown addresses the beer-bellied sharecroppers and spineless cockroaches, and he’s going to petition President Bush and the Pope if that’s what it takes to get Hulk Hogan OR The Face-Painted Idiot to give him a title shot. Tito Santana wants tough competition, and damn Bad News Brown is a hard act to follow when you’re cutting promos.

-Vince McMahon cuts his plegmiest promo possible, offering us “A NO HOLDS BARRED CHRISTMUUUUUUUHS!”

SUPERFLY JIMMY SNUKA vs. MR. PERFECT
-From MSG. Perfect slaps Snuka and runs for his life, then heads back in. Snuka actually plays some head games, offering a test of strength and then just screaming in Perfect’s face. So Perfect takes a breather, then heads back in and slaps him again. Perfect hides again just to frustrate him before FINALLY agreeing to actually start this match. He throws a chop, and a thoroughly unimpressed Snuka just chops him back and launches Perfect over the top rope.

-We return to the studio ever briefly, where Gorilla has apparently ducked out for a bathroom break and Bobby Heenan is inspecting the papers on Gorilla’s side of the desk.

-Back to the match, Perfect takes over and uses the edge of the apron to work Snuka’s neck. Back in the ring, Perfect chokes him out. Neck vice by Perfect gives us our mandatory anatomy lesson from Gorilla for the evening. Snuka gets all fired up and scary, sending Perfect’s head into the turnbuckles and chopping him to and fro all the livelong day. Bodypress looks to finish but it only gets two. Snuka tries a backdrop, but Perfect counters it with the Perfect-plex and gets three, and then BAILS out of the ring before Snuka has a chance to react to the sudden loss. Good little match.

EVENT CENTER
-The Bushwhackers want some tough competition in the WWF. Honky is composing a new song for 1990.

QUESTION #3
-What was the attendance at Wrestlemania III, and in what city? Bobby enthusiastically answers 93,173 in Detroit. Roddy calmly corrects him, “Pontiac.” Bobby blows his stack. “IT’S 30 MILES, WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?” Bobby makes the case that the Detroit Lions play their home games there, so Detroit is a perfectly legit answer. This is wild for me to watch because this is literally my “real job”–I’m a researcher for game shows, which basically means I search for nitpicks so that we don’t have to worry about a losing contestant protesting. And for the record, “Detroit” is absolutely a wrong answer because there’s only one Pontiac Silverdome on planet Earth and there’s no question about what city it’s actually in, but Bobby’s argument for why Detroit should be accepted is 100% the kind of thing that would come up at my job. Gorilla and Piper rightly blow off Heenan’s argument and just rub it in his face, but a bet is a bet, and Heenan has to wear a Santa suit next week for Christmas night.

JAKE “The Snake” ROBERTS vs. CRAIG GREEN
-Jake throws Green out of the ring over and over again while DiBiase drops in just to offer us an evil laugh. DDT finishes.

-Bobby is so upset that he’s walked off the set. Gorilla emphasizes that Bobby is being held to the bet and says he’s making arrangements to ensure that Bobby lives up to every detail of this bet.

BROTHER LOVE
-The Macho King and Zeus are here. I swear, Randy Savage was the Brother Love guest equivalent of Marv Albert. It feels like he’s on all the time and it’s because Akeem or whoever missed their flight. It will not be a merry Christmas for Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake. They make that abundantly clear.

-Rick Martel walks the platform one more time, showing off a fugly turtleneck & trenchcoat combo.

“Million Dollar Man” TED DIBIASE (with Virgil) vs. SCOTT COLTON
-The most interesting part of this match is the jobber, who is unmistakably NWA squash match legend Randy Hogan, with his mustache shaved off to reduce the resemblance. DiBiase sends him to the floor and piledrives him out there, screaming at Jake Roberts afterward. DiBiase promises that Jake is going back to the hospital as DiBiase drags Colton back inside and gives him a neckbreaker. Powerslam by DiBiase, who seems to think he’s wrestling an NWA squash and this just goes ON with DiBiase pummeling Colton’s corpse until finally ending with the Million Dollar Dream.

-Gorilla Monsoon announces that Bobby MUST appear in the studio next week, he MUST be wearing a Santa suit, and he MUST be polite and respectful through the entire show. And if he welches on any part of that, he has to pay a $25,000 fine, AND Gorilla is the sole arbitrator who decides if Heenan has lived up to the bet.

HART FOUNDATION vs. FABULOUS ROUGEAU BROTHERS (with Jimmy Hart)
-Rougeus are on their way out the door and Raymond’s back is fucked, but I hope he has one good match left in him here. Raymond starts with Anvil and gets tackled down right away. He plays it up big too and Jacques stops everything to massage his brother. Everybody tags and Jacques dances in circles around the ring to annoy Bret. Bret gives him a shot to the chest and Jacques tries to steal a DQ, absolutely insisting it was an illegal shot to the throat, and the referee isn’t buying it.

-Anvil tags in and goes nutzo on Jacques’ arm. Back from commercial, the Rougeaus have taken over and Jacques is working the back. Bret ends up on the floor and falls victim to a a sneak attack. Back in, Raymond ties Bret up in a front facelock. Rougeaus play the old switcheroo to Anvil’s mounting frustration. We get the fake hot tag one last time, but the Rougeaus bungle a double-team and Jacques takes out his brother. Bret makes the tag and Anvil kicks some Fabulous ass. Jacques trips Anvil from the floor and the Rougeaus hit their Boston crab/kneedrop combo, but Bret breaks the pin.

-Jimmy throws his megaphone in the ring and Raymond winds up to use it, but Anvil just slips behind him and rolls him up for three. Didn’t quite live up to their past stuff but it’s Harts/Rougeaus. They didn’t really have a “bad” match in them.

-Piper closes the show with a song called “Bobby the Red-Nosed Weasel.”

7.9

The final score: review Good

The 411

Sorry to see the three-host era creeping towards an end because these have been some magnificent episodes.