WWF Prime Time Wrestling (5.8.1989) Review

-Originally aired May 8, 1989.

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan. They address the rumors of tension on the set of No Holds Barred because Zeus, an experienced actor who’s done film and television, was led to believe that he was the star of the film, and Hogan just comes along and takes his spot.

HONKY TONK MAN (with Jimmy Hart) vs. CHUCK WILLIAMS
-From Superstars. Vince and Jesse discuss Elvis sightings. Man, you used to hear about those all the time, to the point of cliche and then they just stopped. So he probably actually IS dead now.

-Honky punches Williams while Hillbilly Jim drops in to build to a payoff that will never come, threatening to play a tune on Honky’s head. Shake, rattle and roll finishes.

UPDATE
-Ronnie Garvin’s career is over as a result of a controversial loss in last week’s match against Greg Valentine. We go to a celebratory promo from Valentine, gloating that he ended man’s career, but Ronnie Garvin strolls into frame, wearing a referee’s uniform, and reveals he has a new job in the WWF. Valentine has a meltdown at this twist. This was apparently Plan A for Starrcade ’86, as Garvin was going to have to put his career on the line versus Flair’s title, lose, and then make Flair’s life hell as a referee for months, but then Magnum TA’s accident got the entire card shuffled.

-Heenan is shocked by the news because referees generally need to be able to at least count to two.

BAD NEWS BROWN vs. TONY ROY
-From Challenge. Bad News attacks from behind as usual and just hammers him ruthlessly. Utterly, utterly lacking in ruth. Ghetto blaster finishes.

BIG JOHN STUDD vs. KING HAKU (with Bobby Heenan)
-From Challenge. Gorilla seems to indicate that the crown is on the line here. Haku chops away while we get pre-taped words from Heenan, threatening that Andre is somewhere nearby. Well, let’s fast-forward through this now that we know the finish. And sure enough it’s a total squash until Andre ambles down to ringside and starts choking Studd out for the DQ. Hacksaw Jim heads to the ring and stops the assault with his 2×4.

-The Genius demands applause for his efforts and his mind.

PAUL ROMA vs. BORIS ZHUKOV
-From MSG. Boris slams Roma and hammers away as Lord Alfred marvels that Boris isn’t “blundering around the ring” like he usually does. Roma, almost on cue, dropkicks Boris out to the floor. Boris appears to injure his leg on the landing, so Roma targets it. Boris stops him with a rake of the eyes. He goes for a slam but collapses in pain due to the knee. Roma stays with that target, snapping it and ramming it into the post.

-Boris fights him off again with headbutts and Roma falls out to the floor. Fan taunts Boris by yelling “Russians are commies!” Hot take there, 1989man. Boris starts targeting the lower back with forearms and headbutts and MSG, while not exactly chanting “boring,” is pretty clearly ready to move on to the next match.

-Bearhug by Boris. Roma fights free and goes for a bodypress, but now Boris’ knee doesn’t hurt anymore, so he effortlessly catches Roma and makes it a backbreaker. Suplex gets two and Lord Alfred Hayes is disgusted that it didn’t even occur to Boris to hook the leg. Boris tries another bearhug. Roma punches free. Roma connects with Steamboat-style chops from the top, and a powerslam gets three out of nowhere. Total heat vacuum for ten minutes.

RED ROOSTER vs. IRON MIKE SHARPE
-From Superstars. It’s Ronnie Garvin’s refereeing debut, and Jesse Ventura is enraged because Jack Tunney forced him to attend three weeks of classes before he could be licensed for SummerSlam. Armdrags and dropkicks by Rooster, and fans are throwing garbage in the ring during the match, which is pretty unusual to see by this point. Iron Mike hammers at Rooster as we get words from Brooklyn Brawler, threatening a sneak attack, but I feel like that payoff isn’t coming for this match. Chicken wing by the Rooster gets the win by submission. After the match, Iron Mike denies he submitted and gets into an argument with Garvin about it, and Garvin just puts him out with a right hand and walks off.

BROTHER LOVE
-Brother Love cribs from Jesse’s book and welcomes “Chico” Santana. Tito corrects him sharply before Brother Love rebukes him for attacking his own partner at Wrestlemania V with his flying jalapeno. Tito Santana says Martel overreacted to a total accident, and now that he’s siding as Slick, Tito really has no choice but to kick his ass.

EVENT CENTER
-Bushwhackers have a lot to say, including “Wooahh!” and “Yaaaaay!” We also get an instant rebuttal from Rick Martel and I am totally distracted by Slick wearing his pocket square in a pocket sewn onto his sleeve.

-Superfly Jimmy Snuka is back!

FABULOUS ROUGEAU BROTHERS (with Jimmy Hart) vs. GEORGE SKAALAND & PAUL SMITH
-From Challenge. Heenan has fun with the jobber’s name, suspecting that it’s Arnold Skaaland dying his hair and hiding his cigar to pass himself off as a younger guy. Jacques fakes blowing out his knee and sucker-punches Smith. The Rougeaus work him over in the corner. Jacques trips him from the floor and Raymond kicks his head straight off with a crescent kick to finish.

SPECIAL INTERVIEW
-Hacksaw Jim lays down the challenge and demands a match against King Haku with the crown and the cape on the line.

JAKE “The Snake” ROBERTS vs. “The Million Dollar Man” TED DIBIASE
-From Superstars…but WAIT! Virgil is all alone out there. Tony Schiavone goes to the locker room, where Ted DiBiase has a vaporizer and says he’s come down with the flu.

-Jake slams Virgil and whips him, but he runs into a kneelift. Virgil chokes him out, but gets caught with a short clothesline, and the DDT finishes up. Post-match, instead of getting Damien out, he rifles through Virgil’s stuff, steals his fuck money, and passes it out to the fans at ringside, and having his cash stolen draws the ire of Ted DiBiase, who reveals his wasn’t really sick and hits the ring to apply the million dollar dream. The same day that this episode was airing, Jake was at a house show in Orlando getting arrested for an incident that took place at the Daytona Beach TV tapings the previous December, and the timing on that was so good that they went ahead and wrote him out for a few months by announcing that DiBiase’s attack injured him.

BLUE BLAZER vs. GARY ROYAL
-From Wrestling Challenge. Shoulderblock and a hiptoss by the Blazer. Blazer works the arm while Bobby Heenan finally reveals the identity of the Blue Blazer: Tim Sanders, nephew of the Colonel, hence all the chicken feathers on his cape.

-Royal elbows him, but Blazer reverses a whip and plants him with a belly-to-belly. Top rope bodypress finishes.

BRAIN BUSTERS (with Bobby Heenan) vs. MARK BROWN & GENE LIGON
-From Superstars. Arn Anderson takes Brown to the mat and stomps away. Tully tags in and Mark Brown’s tights have achieved 0.9 level Ahmed Johnson Syndrome. Ligon tags in and eats a spinebuster. Tully dropkicks Brown off the apron, which gets the referee’s attention, and the spike piledriver finishes when he’s not looking.

EVENT CENTER
-Bobby Heenan calls Rick Rude’s title win at Wrestlemania a dream come true. Bret Hart something something tears in my eyes lol right.

HERCULES vs. BARBARIAN (with Mr. Fuji)
-Danny Davis is officially back in uniform for this one. Meltzer was actually speculating at the time that they were going to have Ronnie Garvin be a face referee and Danny Davis be a heel referee and eventually pay it off somehow, but nah.

-Lock-ups go to the ropes, and Danny gets aggressive, physically prying them and getting between them to break them apart, which seems to lend credence to the idea that they were going to go somewhere with this.

-Barbarian applies a bearhug. Herc gets free and goes for the full nelson, but Barbarian makes the ropes. Powerslam by Barbarian, but Herc raises the knees to block a splash. Barbarian misses a corner charge Herc clotheslines him around. The fight spills outside and both men are counted out. These two were some of your better hoss wrestlers but this didn’t come together the way it could have.

6.5

The final score: review Average

The 411

For a squashfest, there was a nice mix of angles and fun stuff this week.