WWF Prime Time Wrestling Review (4.10.1989)

-Originally aired April 10, 1989.

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan. Bobby is smoking a giant cigar to celebrate Rick Rude’s title win. Gorilla immediately rains on his parade by turning over a $1200 bill for the room service at Trump Plaza.

-And we head straight to Wrestlemania V for highlights of the main event. And then backstage for EXCLUSIVE post-match footage. Gene Okerlund tries to get words from Elizabeth, but Sherri shows up and gets in her face, insisting that the best man didn’t win tonight. She takes off as Randy storms in to blame Elizabeth for the loss, calling her a distraction. Savage twists her wrist and Hulk takes a ridiculously long time getting back there to rescue him. Sherri provides the distraction for a sneak attack by Savage, and both of them bolt out of there before Hulk puts his movie acting lessons to the ultimate test, vowing revenge as the camera goes in for a close-up.

-Bobby Heenan defends his loss at Wrestlemania V, pointing out again that the day was so busy for him that even if he hadn’t gotten his ass kicked by Warrior, he couldn’t have focused properly on wrestling his own match.

-Bobby Heenan shills No Holds Barred after seeing an advance screening. He concedes that Hulk isn’t a bad actor and says that the movie has more action than the Rambo films. Those Rambo films didn’t have anything that could touch the “dookie” dialogue, either. Great bit of trivia from the Observer around this time, as Rip actually had a last name in the original screenplay: Rorem. Rip Rorem.

THE BARBARIAN (with Mr. Fuji) vs. CHUCK WILLIAMS
-Post-Wrestlemania, the Powers of Pain were split up and pushed as singles wrestlers for a time, and that tanked so hard that the team was back together by summer. Chokes and chops by Barbarian. Shoulderbreaker by Barbarian, and a clothesline off the top finishes.

BRUTUS “The Barber” BEEFCAKE vs. STEVE STONE
-From Superstars of Wrestling. Stone, who has “Zodiac” printed on his tights, gets a few token shots, but Beefcake connects with a kneelift and takes it from there. Sleeper finishes easily, and Beefcake looks down and scoffs at Stone for having a loser gimmick like “Zodiac” before cutting his hair.

-Bobby Heenan says that he calls the shots now that Rick Rude holds the title. No, Rick Rude will NOT be “a fighting champion,” he’s going to be picky about his challengers.

-Lanny Poffo, in a cap and gown, officially relaunches himself as The Genius, one of the most underrated gimmicks of all time. He was such a pain in the ass in this role, I loved it.

TITO SANTANA vs. IRON MIKE SHARPE
-Tito goes for a hammerlock, but Iron Mike escapes to the ropes with a desperate “no, no, no” before heading back in and falling victim for an arm wringer–“no, no, no”. Tito kicks him down–“AARGH!” and Sharpe retreats to the corner–“Get him back!” Side headlock by Tito—“Aggh!” but Iron Mike sends him into the ropes, only to get caught with a dropkick–“Ooooooh!” and he retreats to the floor.

-Rick Martel comes to ringside to sneer at his ex-partner…okay, so this was brilliant, the WWF actually LEARNED something after last year’s TV tapings, where the densest marks in the building figured out Randy Savage was winning the WWF Title just from what they were seeing and weren’t seeing at the TV tapings, so this year, they waited until the day AFTER Wrestlemania to do their post-Wrestlemania TV tapings, enabling them to do angles like this right away!

-So the distraction from Martel allows Sharpe to sneak up from behind and attack, but Tito shakes it off and finishes with the flying forearm.

-Back to Coliseum Video for a look at Rick Rude’s tainted Intercontinental Title victory.

EVENT CENTER
-It’s a special week, so we get a rare Event Center promo from the Hulkster himself. Hulk actually has the balls to turn the “lust in your eyes” promo around and accuse Savage of it. Elizabeth was Savage’s woman, dipshit!

–No Holds Barred is coming!

-The Rosatti sisters pop in for a visit. They bring Gorilla a banana-shaped water pistol and a Bobby Heenan wanted poster. They give Heenan a dead fish. Gorilla tries to do a Godfather reference by picking up the fish and saying “You could be sleeping with them.” Heenan, horrified, responds, “The Rosattis?!”

YOUNG STALLIONS vs. CONQUISTADORS
-From MSG. Powers and #1 start. #1 complains about mask pulling and turns it into a cheap shot. Powers retaliates with a dropkick that sends #1 to the floor. Back in, Powers armdrags him into an armbar. Suplex by Powers gets two and goes back to the arm. Roma enters and a drop toehold/legdrop combo by the Stallions gets two. So #1 is the Conquistador-in-peril as the Stallions are cutting the ring in half. “Boring” chant gets started as #1 keeps taking a beating.

-But suddenly Roma gets caught in the Conquistadors’ corner and choked out to turn the tide. Roma gets whipped into the corner and takes a Bret Hart bump on it, and NOW MSG is into this match. So Roma takes a beating for a few minutes and #2, from the Samoan district of Latin America, applies a nerve hold. Roma elbows out but the Conquistadors hang on and keep hammering him. Bodypress by #1 gets a two-count. Back to the nerve hold. Roma elbows out but gets booted down. He kicks away from an attempted backdrop and MSG flips its shit for the hot tag to Powers. Pier sixer breaks out and a missile dropkick gets the win. No surprises as far as a tag team match goes, but it was fine.

BROOKLYN BRAWLER (with Bobby Heenan) vs. TERRY DANIELS
-This match would have had a much different dynamic to it on a WWF card in 1984, but both men’s fortunes are a bit different here. Brawler dazes Daniels quickly with punches and then just dodges a bunch of Daniels’ dazed attempts at offense to taunt him. Daniels finally gets lucky and connects with a dropkick, and Brawler retreats to the floor to a stern lecture from the Brain. Back in, Daniels armdrags the Brawler and applies an armbar. Brawler slugs out and rakes the eyes. Brawler heads to the top and faceplants Daniels to finish.

HART FOUNDATION vs. BLACK KNIGHT & INTRUDER
-Anvil hammers Intruder down and then gives him the Hiptoss of 1989. He seriously just LAUNCHES the guy, and Black Knight’s pretty big. Intrudcer tags in. Hit Man suplexes him and drops a leg. Hart attack wraps it up.

BROTHER LOVE
-Brother Love introduces the Twin Towers as “the future Tag Team Champions, and Slick formally issues the challenge to Demolition to put the belts on the line. Akeem promises to pick the title belts off the champs like apples, brutha.

-More Wrestlemania V clips, with Vince aptly calling the Jake/Andre footage “lowlights.” We get pre-taped words from Studd, promising to slam Andre and end the legend of the Giant.

RUGGED RONNIE GARVIN vs. MR. PERFECT
-From Boston Garden. Joined in progress, as Perfect is wandering around the floor and stalling. He heads back in and Garvin just pops him with a right hand, sending him back out to the floor. Perfect reluctantly re-enters and they trade chops, which ends badly for Perfect and he again ends up on the floor. Garvin won’t wait for him anymore and yanks him back in with a handful of hair. Garvin just straight up kicks him in the ass, and Perfect winds up back on the floor, having the worst day of his life.

-Back in, Garvin keeps chopping. Perfect finally takes over, clamping on a chinlock and using the hair for leverage. Lord Alfred Hayes correctly observes that Perfect deserves some credit for even managing to gather a handful of hair from Garvin.

-Back from commercial, Garvin finally escapes and applies a sleeper. Hennig escapes. Garvin goes for a piledriver but Hennig backdrops out, only for Garvin to turn it into a sunset flip for two. They collide and collapse, with Perfect making it to his feet and Garvin crawling out to the apron. Perfect gives him some forearms across the chest. Garvin fights him off and comes off the top rope with a bodypress, but Perfect rolls through and comes out on top for a three-count. Pretty good match out of the old school–it actually felt more like a ’70s match.