ZeeWI: Rosemary Rages, Drake Dominates

Writer’s Note: Our deepest condolences to the family of Bruno Sammartino. He was before my time, but I’ve always known him to be the greatest. What he means to us Italians (and the greater New York area, to be sure) is a little silly, but very real.

Rest In Peace, Bruno

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It’s been a few weeks since the ZeeWI eyes were turned towards the world of Impact Wrestling, but when you’re on the Road to WrestleMania, things tend to get ignored in favor of others. And then, of course, we had to celebrate the incredible victory of Carmella over Charlotte! I still can’t believe she was able to put it all together, but she did, and it led to a victory over one of the very best on the WWE roster!

The last few days, however, I’ve managed to get back on track with Impact. And frankly, while there are a few things that I’d like to cover, one thing managed to put the jaw of this columnist on the floor.

It was a little over a month ago where we here praised the incredibly competitive match between Taya Valkyrie and Rosemary, though there was some disappointment at the double countout that ended the whole thing.

Six days ago, these two met again, in something that Rosemary deemed the Demon’s Dance match. This dance meant that there’d be no rules, and anything goes, which was the perfect set of stipulations for the fury that these two women want to bring at each other.

I’d love to break it all down for you, but my brain just keeps returning to one moment, and one moment only: TOP ROPE PILEDRIVER THROUGH THE MOTHERLOVING TABLE!

Rosemary knew, in the darkest corners of her black heart, that she’d have to do something drastic to beat Taya. Since Taya’s arrival, Rosemary has been able to barely keep up, to barely survive. Taya may not look as evil as Rosemary, but her actions had shown, to that point, that in reality she was more evil than her face-painted rival.

Every attack that Taya had launched, every trip down the Road to Valhalla that she forced upon Rosemary, all of that was inside the head of The Demon Assassin as she fought with Taya on that top turnbuckle. It was Taya who had placed Rosemary on that table, looking to stomp her right through it. That only fueled Rosemary’s fire more, and as they battled on their high perch, everyone waited to see what would come.

Taya nearly had The Road to Valhalla set up again, only to be countered into a setup for Rosemary’s Red Wedding. Back and forth, until Rosemary did the unthinkable. A move so devastatingly dangerous, many companies outright ban it.

Impact isn’t many companies, and the Demon’s Dance isn’t the match to worry about danger. This was a personal feud, one that’s burned for months, and Rosemary knew that to be victorious against her most lethal rival to date, it would take one of her most violent tricks.

In my many years covering the sport, I can’t recall seeing that done by many men, let alone the women. I can also admit to not having watched every match everywhere ever, so perhaps I’ve missed an example or two.

Regardless, hats off to both Rosemary and Taya for laying it all on the line, and an extra set of kudos to Rosemary for proving that, at the end of the day, her lust for blood is still stronger than that of any other woman on the roster.

Meanwhile, in the life of E_Li_Drake…

So, the kitchen got a little too hot for Chris Adonis, and he apparently left Impact, abandoning Drake in the process. That was a bit of an inconvenience for Drake, seeing as he had just acquired a briefcase in Feast or Fired that gave him a shot at the Impact Tag Team Championships.

Drake, of course, was a tad angry at the circumstances. In a bit of a fit of rage, he managed to get himself into a match with Moose, who had taken the briefcase giving a shot at the Impact Global Championship. The winner of the match would walk out with both briefcases.

In a sport that rewards minding your own business, Moose’s past decisions would come back to haunt him. His choice to involve himself in the issue between Eddie Edwards and oVe would lead to oVe exacting a little revenge as he wrestled Drake, brutally attacking him, and leading to Drake hitting the Gravy Train for the win.

This would put our hero in the driver’s seat, and while he initially wanted to ditch the Tag Team Title shot briefcase on the side of the road, he would eventually have an epiphany. He would have the realization that he didn’t have to only focus on the Impact Global Championship. Nay, dummies, he instead would be able to win the Global Championship and the Tag Team Championships. He’d just have to find a partner more reliable, and braver than Adonis, which was pretty easily done.

When that siren hit, though…

Some things in life cannot be resisted. Right or wrong, this columnist loves Scott Steiner. From the very start, all those years ago. He might not be in his 1994, 2000, or even 2007 shape, but Scott Steiner brings a very distinct style of violence that makes me happy to have him around. I know he’s not for everyone, but when Drake revealed his partner, yours truly was more than pleased with his choice.

In Steiner, Drake found someone who a) won’t run from any fight like Adonis did, b) has history with Konnan and knows his tactics well, and c) can match the cutthroat level of chicanery on which LAX thrives. Drake knew that, for all of his overwhelming kavorka, he’s not the same as LAX. He may like to dabble in the underhanded from time to time, and he’s had his moments of assaulting cameramen in the back, but at the end of the day, he likes to get his results in the ring. He provides the class, Steiner can kick the ass.

For E_Li_Drake, things are golden. Alberto El Patrón also pulled an Adonis and left when things got to be too difficult, and that leaves Austin Aries ripe for the picking. At some point, Drake is going to exact his revenge on Aries. He’s going to steal the belt back, the same way that Aries stole it from him. No amount of bananas – not even a whole bunch of them – is going to be able to prevent it from happening.

And, if all goes accordingly, when he takes his Impact Global Championship back, he will be doing it as a member of the reigning Tag Team Champions, too.

Things looked down for the man not too long ago. But with a few strokes of odd luck, he’s emerged in better shape than any of us dummies could have ever imagined.

And then, there’s Josh… Maybe another time. Let’s just enjoy the good for now.