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Zen Arcade Reviews: CHIKARA King of Trios 2011…Night 2

October 11, 2012 | Posted by Jake St-Pierre
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Zen Arcade Reviews: CHIKARA King of Trios 2011…Night 2  

Since we last visited CHIKARA and their annual King of Trios extravaganza, we saw plenty of great action, capped off by Michinoku Pro advancing in what has been one hell of a tournament so far. Tonight is the next stage of the tournament, plus a bunch of other fun stuff…per the course of CHIKARA. Let’s get going.

Your hosts are Gavin Loudspeaker, Bryce Remsburg, Archibald Peck, Ultramantis Black, Mike Quackenbush, & Leonard F. Chikarason.

Archibald Peck comes out with Veronica to issue an open challenge. I much prefer the wacky band leader to the crooked lawyer RD Evans. But hey, that’s just me. “What month is this? YOUR ANSWER IS IRRELEVANT! Because of every time that Archibald Peck and Veronica are in the house, it’s MARCH MADNESS!” HA! Archie says that he saw a line a mile long to accept his open challenge, so he calls out the lucky acceptee (I think?) to come to the ring…and it’s Colt Cabana! Yeah, he’s awesome. Archie challenges Colt to a duel…”yay or nay?” says Archie. Colt accepts after whacking Archie with a boot.

Archibald Peck vs. Colt Cabana
I suspect lots of goofiness here. I should not be disappointed.

Archie can’t take Colt down with a shoulder block, so he gets a leg trip and celebrates like hell. Well, whatever helps you sleep at night Arch. Colt punks Archie out and gets the “Say You’re Sorry” chant…that ain’t happenin’ as Colt gets Archie up on his feet. So what does he do? Well, the band leader starts swimming in mid-air. Archie catches Colt with a boot and goes up top. Colt gets up so Archie tells him to get down and so does Bryce Remsburg and Veronica. Awesome. Archie sends Colt into the ringpost shoulder-first and proceeds to take control for the first time in the match. Archie looks for a Victory Dive for the third time, but only eats Colt’s boots. Colt hits a combination of apathetic chops and lariats, provoking Archie to scream “Stop!” every time he hits the ground. Archie reverses the Colt 45 and hits an Overdrive (!) for a 2 count. Veronica distracts Bryce Remsburg, allowing Archie to hit Colt with a baton. Victory Dive gets the win for Archibald Peck in 9 minutes. **1/2 Not much wrestling to this one but as a goofy mood-setter, you couldn’t go wrong with this opening your show.

Quarterfinal Match: Team Osaka Pro (Atsushi Kotoge, Daisuke Horada, & Ultimate Spider, Jr.) vs. F.I.S.T. (Chuck Taylor, Johnny Gargano, & Icarus)
F.I.S.T. had the unfortunate task of facing that abysmal Australian team on Night 1, but Team Osaka Pro should more than make up for it. They had a really fun showing last night against the Throwbacks so I have no doubt in my mind that this one’s gonna be fun too.

We begin with Icarus and Daisuke Horada in the ring, starting off. GENERIC INDY STANDOFF!~! early, but Horada fucking DESTROYS Icarus with an elbow. Icarus falls out of the ring, which brings in Gargano and Ultimate Spider, who hits a beautiful running spin kick. Kotoge tags in against Chuck Taylor and Kotoge shows off his retarded amount of speed with a running kick and a slick victory roll/headscissors. Spider comes in, but takes a powerslam from Chuckie and a neckbreaker from Gargano. Spider starts coming back and tags in Horada, who EXPLODER SUPLEXES TAYLOR ONTO GARGANO IN THE CORNER! Gargano retaliates with Diced Bread and soon after Chuckie nearly pins Kotoge with a jackknife rollup. Kotoge comes back with a superkick for 2. Spider comes in with Icarus, who eats a Cutter and a RUNNING DROPKICK TO THE SOLARPLEXUS. Kotoge and Horada hit a SWEET KICK COMBO ON GARGANO! Northern lights/Frog Splash gets 2. This is getting too fast to call. Gargano decks Horada with a superkick and FUCKING LAWN DARTS HIM LIKE A DICK ONTO THE SECOND TURNBUCKLE! ROLLING CUTTER FROM KOTOGE! SPIDER MISSILES DROPKICKS CHUCK TAYLOR! Icarus goes up top but Horada meets him up there and SUPLEXES HIM OFF! SPEAR FROM GARGANO! MOONSAULT FROM TAYLOR! Horada is saved by Ultimate Spider, who eats Sole Food. DOUBLE STOMP! DOUBLE ARM DDT! FULL NELSON FACEBUSTER FROM GARGANO! KOTOGE SAVES! Holy shit this is already the best match of the weekend. Just as I type that, Chuck Taylor gets a cheap rollup on Ultimate Spider for the win in 19 minutes. It’s not as bad as it sounds…it just gets more heat on the heels, which is just fine. ****1/4 I knew this match would rule, but I can’t really say I thought it would be that great. Everything in this match was performed so smoothly…like seriously, no botched spots whatsoever. All six made up some really cool triple teams and they had the crowd in the palms of their hands during what was one hell of a finishing stretch. So far, this is the best match of the weekend. See, spotfests have merit.

Zack Sabre Jr. says he’s gonna win the Rey De Voladores tournament with an armbar. And since he doesn’t speak Spanish, he’s gonna rename the tournament “King of the Armbars”. Hilarious promo from the Brit.

Rey De Voladores Elimination Match: Zack Sabre, Jr. vs. Pinkie Sanchez vs. Marshe Rockett vs. El Generico
Apparently CHIKARA tried to push Matt Cross in last year’s tournament. And apparently he proved to the CHIKARA brass that he sucked as much as he did in other promotions. This tourney looks fifteen times better. I’ve heard great things about Sabre, Jr.

Sanchez and Sabre start, and Sabre stretches Pinkie, and rams his knee into the mat. Sanchez hits Marshe Rockett in the face so he eats a kick to the face from Sabre. Marshe FUCKING DESTROYS HIS ASS WITH A CHOP! That’s a hate crime. Order is restored as Rockett and Generico enter the ring, where Rockett hits a high elevation leg drop for a 2 count. Pinkie comes in and chops Rockett, but hurts his hand in the process. Sabre comes in and eats some disgusting chops. Sabre drops him in return. Generico comes in, but Sabre takes him down and bends his fingers like a huge dick. Sabre catches a bodyscissors from Sanchez and DRAGON SUPLEXES HIM! Marshe Rockett comes in but Derek Sabato pats him down. RACIST! Pinkie Sanchez takes advantage of that. Pinkie tries to springboard but GENERICO KICKS HIM IN MID SPRINGBOARD! HUGE PLANCHA FROM MARSHE ROCKETT! Rockett puts Sanchez on his shoulders, but Sabato puts him down. SICK TORNADO DDT eliminates Marshe Rockett in 13 minutes.

Sabre comes in and takes a half and half suplex from Generico, but ducks a Yakuza Kick. Sabre eats a Yakuza Kick moments later but retaliates with a brutal running knee. Sabre puts in a cross armbreaker, but Sanchez BUTT SPLASHES HIM for the elimination of Sabre in 16 minutes.

This leaves Generico and Sanchez by themselves. Generico looks for a turnbuckle brainbuster, but Sabato pulls him off. That helps Sanchez hit a tree of woe butt splash for a fast two count. Sabato isn’t happy. MICHINOKU DRIVER! Slow count by Sabato though, so Sanchez gets out. The crowd wants Generico to hit Sabato, but that distraction helps Sanchez recover and superkick the Generic Luchador. The Director of Fun comes out and hands Sabato a regular CHIKARA ref shirt, because he’s awesome like that. Sanchez HATES the blue shirt and flips out, which gives Generico a chance to hit the Yakuza Kick and the TURNBUCKLE BRAINBUSTER! Generico advances to the finals in 21 minutes. ***1/2 There is in fact a difference between heavily booking and overbooking, and this was a prime example of the former. All four worked their asses off to provide a fun spotfest and after that, the Derek Sabato bias kicked in and told a better story, helping Generico get the win he rightfully deserved. Good stuff all around here.

The Osirian Portal talks about their undefeated streak. They say they’re going to win, because at least one person has to say that in a promo per night I guess. I kid, I kid.

Quarterfinal Match: The Osirian Portal (Ophidian, Amasis, Hieracon) vs. Team Dragon Gate (Akira Tozawa, Kagetora, & Super Shisa)
The Portal and Tozawa in the same ring? I’m in.

We begin this quarterfinal match with Super Shisa and Hieracon in the ring, where your usual I-counter-your-move-you-counter-mine sequence occurs. And as usual, GENERIC INDY STANDOFF!~! Amasis comes in against Kagetora, and Amasis makes Kagetora bail with a dropkick. Ophidian and Akira Tozawa come in, and Ophidian’s head stand on the corner perplexes the Dragon Gate star. Tozawa ends up coming out on top, sending Ophidian out of the ring and mocking his snake hiss because he’s a dick. Tozawa now controls Amasis, who conjurs up enough strength to take over Super Shisa and tag in Hieracon. Ophidian comes in and looks to maintain the control his team had, but he ends up playing Ricky Morton as he’s worked over by Dragon Gate. That doesn’t last long, as soon after Ophidian and Amasis are able to double team Tozawa and isolate him in turn. An Amasis crossbody catches Tozawa’s knees, which makes Amasis cry out in SUPER HORRIBLE DEATH PAIN!~!, so now Amasis is being worked over by Team Dragon Gate. Hieracon tags in and starts cleaning house. He GERMAN SUPLEXES SHISA ON HIS FUCKING HEAD WHILE HAVING TOZAWA IN AN O’CONNOR ROLL! That was disgusting the way Shisa landed. Kagetora tries to solve the Hieracon puzzle, but Hieracon outdoes him as well. Amasis and Super Shisa come in and Shisa puts him in an STF! Ophidian breaks it up after a struggle, but Tozawa follows right behind. Ophidian starts rolling now and he hits a HUGE corkscrew plancha! Tozawa takes a spinebuster from Amasis and a springboard swanton from Ophidian! Nearfall! Team Dragon Gate is not bested yet, as Tozawa KILLS AMASIS WITH A SAITO SUPLEX! Hieracon saves his partner but eats a leg lariat from Kagetora for his troubles. Amasis hits Shisa with a stiff enzuigiri, and now everyone is down. Shisa takes a triple team and a 450 Splash from Amasis sends the Portal to the semi-finals in 21 minutes. ***3/4 It wasn’t as balls out as the previous match in this tournament was, but they made up for that with action that flowed exceptionally well. It’s obvious how talented all six men are and for once I’ve gotten to see the Osirian Portal outside of a comedy climate for an extended period of time. I was impressed with what I saw and I have utmost faith in what the Portal will do later in the tournament. Great match here.

We see a commercial for the 12 Large Summit, a tournament that crowned the first CHIKARA Grand Champion Eddie Kingston.

Arik Cannon vs. Eddie Kingston
And speaking of Eddie Kingston. This will be my first time seeing Arik Cannon in a singles climate, and with Eddie Kingston as an opponent I’m sure I’ll be entertained. Arik Cannon comes out to Anarchy in the UK, but somehow Eddie Kingston TOPS HIM by coming out to fucking HIGHWAY MAN. Amazing.

Cannon opts not to do a test of strength with Eddie Kingston, which is probably a good idea. Things get crazy early as Kingston hits a Heat Seeking Missile. Arik hits TOTAL ANARCHY ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!~! That was nasty. We finally enter the ring and we see a pretty stiff exchange of strikes. Kingston hits a T-Bone Suplex and a Urinagi for a close nearfall. Cannon misses a second rope moonsault but eats a Sliding D that gets Kingston the win in 9 minutes. That’s it? Okay then. **1/2 They were going along nicely until they lost the crowd with gratuitous strike exchanges and an insanely abrupt finish. Nothing bad at all, but way underwhelming.

After the match, Eddie and Arik celebrate Larry Sweeney by draping Larry’s shirt over the top rope. You can see that Eddie’s devastated. Poor guy.

The Colony cuts a promo backstage. Nothing really noteworthy.

Quarterfinal Match: BDK (Tim Donst, Delirious, & Jakob Hammermeier) vs. The Colony (Fire Ant, Soldier Ant, & Green Ant)
On Night 1, the BDK got a cheap win with the help of the large Tursas, while the Colony won their match clean. Hmmm.

The Colony starts off with synchronized strikes on the BDK. The Colony launches Fire Ant onto all three members on the outside. BDK wastes no time coming back though, isolating Fire Ant. Soldier Ant finally comes in and decks Delirious, diving onto him on the outside.Donst and Green Ant enter the ring, where Green Ant puts the Captain in a cloverleaf…but it’s broken by Hammermeier and Delirious. Hell breaks loose in the ring, as Hammermeier eats a synchronized boot and the ANT HILL! Donst barely saves him. Donstituion from Donst gets a 2 count of Fire Ant, and he’s utterly SHOCKED!~! Soldier Ant takes Shadows Over Hell from Delirious, and Jakob tries to take advantage. They try to do the same fuck finish as last night, but TURSAS HITS JAKOB WITH A CROSSBODY INSTEAD!~! GREEN ANT BODYSLAMS TURSAS~! Jakob taps to a Torture Rack (!) in 13 minutes. *** Really underwhelming match for the first 10 minutes or so. They just didn’t do anything particularly exciting, especially with a really plodding, slow heat segment on Fire Ant. However, they really redeemed themselves with the heavy booking involving Tursas, tying up a storyline that had been lingering all weekend. It made the apathetic crowd go fucking INSANE and I’m glad they did that to save what had been a massively disappointing contest up until that point.

Rey de Voladores Elimination Match: Frightmare vs. Amazing Red vs. Obariyon vs. 1-2-3 Kid
How can you NOT love this match already?

Obariyon watches as the other three play Rock, Paper, Scissors before the bell to see who starts. That renders the game useless, so Frightmare and Red start. Frightmare gains an early advantage, but Red armdrags him out of the ring and hits a SPRINGBOARD SENTON! Obariyon comes in and calls 1-2-3 Kid out, and he subsequently takes control. Kid tries to call a timeout and lariats the shit out of Obariyon. Obariyon eats a plancha from Kid, so now the Amazing Red comes in and offers a handshake for Kid, who cheapshots Red. Frightmare connects with a crossbody on Red and SCARES HIM OUT OF THE RING, because he’s a badass. Obariyon stalls his momentum with a shining wizard for 2. All of a sudden we have a TRIPLE SLEEPER and a TRIPLE JAWBREAKER! Kid builds a head of steam and plants Frightmare down with a Michinoku Driver for 2. Obariyon launches Red off of the top turnbuckle but EATS A SPIN KICK FROM RED. Red looks for a Spanish Fly, but Obariyon launches him down again and pins him with a leaping DDT in 14 minutes.

Kid takes advantage of Obariyon’s distraction with a kick combo, but Obariyon starts playing dirty to counteract that. X-FACTOR FROM KID! Frightmare comes in and chucks Kid, hits Kneecolepsy, and pins Obariyon himself in 15 minutes.

Frightmare wastes no time diving onto the Kid outside. Kid regroups in the ring and HITS A SUPER X-FACTOR! It’s fucking academic at the 16 minute mark. ***1/4 Admittedly, it wasn’t as deep-rooted or story-built as the first four way was, it still accomplished what it was set out to: be a fun spotfest and a way to send the 1-2-3 Kid to the Rey de Voladores finale. Good stuff once again.

After the match, Kid apologizes for the Bronco Buster, saying “I forgot about the PG thing.” The crowd forgives him, after which Waltman says “I do have a lot to be forgiven for, that’s for sure.” I’m not gonna touch that one, so make your own jokes accordingly.

Jigsaw and Mike Quackenbush cut a promo backstage. Quack says that they can’t quit. Manami Toyota joins them, but nothing of note is really said here.

Quarterfinal Match: Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, & Manami Toyota vs. Team Michinoku Pro (Great Sasuke, Dick Togo, & Jinsei Shinzaki)
At Night 1, Team Michinoku Pro main evented in what was one hell of a fun match, while Quack, Jig, and Toyota had a phenomenal sprint with the SAT. Safe to say that this match is going to kick amounts of ass I previously thought were unkickable this weekend.

Jigsaw and Sasuke start us off with a GENERIC SCIENTIFIC SEQUENCE!~! Man, I watch too much indy wrestling. Shinzaki and Quack tag in and have a staredown. Quack cleverly counters out of a rear chinlock and locks in a headscissors. Shinzaki finally kips out of it and tags Dick Togo in, so here comes Manami Toyota! Togo cheapshots her and chops the shit out of her. Toyota has enough of that shit and missile dropkicks him and tags in Jigsaw, who Togo runs away from instantly. Shinzaki comes in and does the Praying Ropewalk into a diving chop. Quack comes in and all hell breaks loose after that. After the dive-fest, order is restored inside the ring with Jigsaw playing Ricky Morton. Sasuke bites Jigsaw’s foot, which further proves that YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH SASUKE. Quackenbush finally gets the hot tag, and he cleans house. He calls in Toyota, hits a double palmstrike, and connects on Shinzaki with a HUGE DIVE! ROLLING CRADLE BY TOYOTA! Just like last night, Sasuke gets a chair and looks to swanton Toyota on it, but TOYOTA MOVES!~! MOONSAULT FROM MANAMI! Togo breaks up the pin and lariats the piss out of Toyota. That pisses Jigsaw off and Jig has the gall to TRADE CHOPS with Dick Togo. He doesn’t win the chop exchange, but he does connect with a brainbuster for a nearfall. Togo retaliates with a running Diamond Dust, and he locks in a crossface! Togo hits a pedigree on Jigsaw, who replies with a COAST TO COAST DROPKICK ON TOGO! Shinzaki breaks up the pin and hits a diving shoulderblock on Quack. Toyota saves her partner and takes a Dragon Screw but Toyota sunset flips him! Sasuke BARELY saves Hakushi. Quack comes in and misses a senton, but hits a Michinoku Driver for a close nearfall. CHIKARA SPECIAL! SHINZAKI HITS A THROAT THRUST! QUACK DOESN’T BREAK! Quack breaks after a second one and eats a chokeslam. Quack takes the pedigree and diving dropkick from Sasuke! NEARFALL! CROSSFACE ON JIGSAW! Sasuke finally pins Quack with a powerbomb in 21 minutes. ****1/4 Oh man, what a fucking match. It wasn’t as crazy as it could have been, but the character work from guys like Sasuke, Jigsaw, & especially Dick Togo more than made up for it. Dick Togo played a phenomenal dickhead heel, so much so that it made it even better when Jigsaw stood up to him when Toyota was unable to. All those little stories made this match as great as it was, and I’m thinking this weekend of shows—even if I’ve only seen two of them—have made me a legitimate CHIKARA fan. And hey, at least I know who 3.0 is now, right? Awesome, low-end MOTYC stuff right here.

The 411: This was a phenomenal show. I'm a guy who values consistency, and this puppy has it in spades. Two MOTYC's for 2011, plus a healthy number of good-to-great matches and you've got another $15 to spend for King of Trios Night 2. Thumbs way up here.
411 Elite Award
Final Score:  9.0   [  Amazing ]  legend

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