wrestling / TV Reports
411’s TNA Final Resolution Report 1.06.08
~TNA FINAL RESOLUTION 2008~
-Mike Tenay and Don West welcome us to the show.
Slick Johnson’s shorts are the referee. Rave and Cide to begin, off the ropes and a tackle by Cide. A hip toss by Cide, but Rave gets a cradle for 2. Off the ropes and an overhead toss by Cide. To the corner and Hoyt tags in. Sack of shit slam to Cide, who tags in Hernandez. They stand off and then collide mid-ring. Again and no one moves. Hernandez nails Rave and then tosses Hoyt to the floor. Cide goes for a dive but Rave knees him in the head and then gets an STO on the apron. Hernandez OUT OF NOWHERE hits a sick dive onto Hoyt! LAX double team Rave, basement dropkick by Cide and the clothesline and senton on Rave, who was across the knees of Hernandez. Cide up top, Hernandez has Rave but Hoyt save him. Hernandez to the floor and Hoyt snags up Cide and gets a catatonic for 2. Cide tries to fight back, but eats a big boot from Hoyt. Off the ropes and Cide rolls and tags Hernandez, who gets a flying shoulder block to Rave and Hoyt. CRACKA JACK to Rave! Backdrop to Hoyt. Sit out powerbomb to Rave! Hoyt then gets a moonsault press onto Hernandez. Cide in with a head scissors and then gets the TOPE CONHILO~! Cide and Hoyt are wiped out, and Hernandez levels Rave in the ring. Hemme saves rave from a powerbomb and he gets a knee to Hernandez. Rights to Hernandez, boots and then forearm shots. Irish whip and a back elbow to Hernandez. Hernandez then crotches Rave on the top and the MYSTERY LATINO is out! Hernandez up top with Rave…SUPER BORDER TOSS KILLS RAVE~! 1…2…3.
Winners: LAX @ 6:51 via pin **½
-Hoyt attacks LAX and they now have the LATINO cornered. He chokes the Latino but “he” LOW BLOWS Hoyt. Hemme low blows the Latino, no effect! She unmasks to reveal that it has been Shelley Martinez all along. She strips down to the crowd’s approval as LAX runs off Hoyt and Rave, Hemme is NOT happy.
-Last night they started the DCS with Strom and Young. Crystal and JB are there and they play a wacky truth or dare like game called never have I ever. Storm talks like Boomhower and confuses Young. Storm admits to killing a lion and going to the moon and drinks. Storm admits to starting riots in Detroit in 1967 and drinks. He wins.
-West and Tenay run down the rest of the card.
-Crystal is with AJ and Tomko. She asks what his choice is and he says he will make a choice, but he has time still. Tomko says he is out of time and demands that he chooses. Tomko says if he screws up the tag title run he will have HUGE problems.
They brawl to begin, springboard back elbow by Kaz. To the floor and a clothesline off of the apron by Kaz. Black Reign whips him to the barrier and the charges in, but Kaz moves. Kicks by Kaz, and they brawl up the ramp. Black Reign fights back and then knees Kaz off of the ramp, and on the way down he caught the stage with his hip. That had to suck. Rights by Black Reign as they brawl back to ringside. Black Reign slams Kaz off of the apron and goes back in. Hangman’s neck breaker on Kaz and then rights by Black Reign. A chin lock by Black Reign, Kaz works to escape and off the rope and an uppercut by Black Reign. STO follows and a cover for 2 by Black Reign. Black Reign bites the head of Kaz, snap mare and back to a chin lock. Kaz fights out again, off the ropes and eats a knee. Black Reign gets a running cutter for 2. Back to the chin lock, Kaz escapes again and then they collide with double cross bodies. The ref counts, they make it to their feet and rights by Kaz now. A spin kick by Kaz, and then a spinning neck breaker by Kaz and a cover for 2. Slingshot DDT by Kaz and a cover for 2. Kaz misses a springboard leg drop, and Black Reign gets his pedigree deal and covers for a close 2. Curtain Call try countered and Kaz gets the wave of the future for the win.
Winner: Kaz @ 7:30 via pin **
-After the match Kaz gets the rat and lays it on Black Reign. Kaz then decides to steal the rat.
-JB is with Kurt Angle. JB bitches about AJ Styles and Angle is offended that JB thinks he is a part of the group. Angle then asks what they will do if AJ chooses Cage. Karen stops them and says she will not let JB or Kurt make the decisions. She will take care of business. Kurt says she always gets them into trouble and she says she knows how to handle AJ. Kurt demands JB follow her.
Kong attacks as Kim tries to enter the ring. They go to the floor and brawl. Chops by Kong, knees by Kim and Kong levels her with a clothesline. Kong threatens Tenay and then grabs Kim and tries the bomb, kicks by Kim and then forearm shots. Kong spears her into the ring apron to stop that. In the ring they go, and Kong just pummels her. She then chokes her out with the boot, she picks her up and then tosses her by the hair. Kong back to the choke with the boot and refuses to break, NO DQ SLICK! Kong slams her to the corner and chokes her out again. A sleeper now by Kong, she sling Kim around and slams her down. Kim back with forearms, Irish whip and a boot by Kim. Crowd is hot and Kim is up top, spinning back fist and Kim is caught in the ropes ala the tree of woe. She is finally released and clutches her knee on the floor. Kong slams Kim off of the steel steps, which actually fires up Kim but Kong just slaps her down. Kong then grabs her by the feet and slams her into the barrier! Picks her up and tosses her over the railing and into the crowd. Kim tries to fight back again but is thrown up into the bleachers. They brawl up into the crowd and chokes out Kim again. Kim grabs a Coke bottle and hits Kong and then Kim is tossed down the steps. Coke bottle, not an effective weapon. Kong charges and Kim sidesteps her and she hits the wall! Kim dumps her over the railing and then Kim leaps off the railing with a double ax smash. Hammerlock by Kim and slams Kong to the steel post! Kim tries to roll her into the ring, fails and Kong slams her off of the apron. Clubbing shots by Kong, she gets a chair and Kim JUST moves and then kicks the chair into Kong’s face. Kim up top…CROSS BODY IS CAUGHT and Kong slams her back into the ring. Clubbing shots by Kong, picks up Kim and Kim with kicks and forearm shots. Jabs and the spinning back fist by Kong! Kim counters the bomb, and then Kong misses the sit down splash! Rights by Kim, off the ropes and a reversal but Kong misses. Kim up top and leaps into a chokeslam try, but Kong gets the sit down flapjack for 2! Kong is pissed and argues with the ref, she boots him and KONG BOMB ON SLICK JONHSON~! Kong to the floor and gets a chair. She lays into the ref with the chair shots. Kim grabs the chair and NAILS Kong three times and Kong is down! Kim up top…SPLASH on Kong! Ref is down! Another ref is out and she covers for a CLOSE 2!Rights by Kim, but Kong gets a chokeslam! 1…2…NO! Kong IS pissed~! The new ref begs off. KONG BOMB try on the ref, but Kim rolls her up for the win! I would say that this was easily the best women’s match on PPV (WWE/TNA) in a good while and better than last time. I think we’ll get a last woman’s standing match at the next show, if I had to guess.
Winner: Gail Kim @ 12:50 via pin ***¾
-They brawl after the match and security and other chicks are out to try and break it up. Kong and Kim stand off and stare down, and this is far from over.
-JB is with Karen. She goes to the men’s room to find AJ. She yells at JB for looking at her tits and goes into talk with AJ. AJ says he has an important decision to make and Karen tries to seduce him, and ODB walks out of the stall and says to light a match. AJ asks if Kurt knows about this, and AJ says she is lying. She says she wouldn’t lie to him and promises him sex basically. AJ then goes to the bathroom.
-Crystal is with Mitchell and Mesias. He hates to flog a dead horse, because you cannot hear it scream. He says Abyss will reveal the secret that he is afraid of. He then says Mesias will torture him until he admits what the secret is. He says Abyss will burn is hell.
Mesias attacks at the bell and works over Abyss with rights and chops. A back elbow by Mesias, but Abyss back with a clothesline. Abyss clotheslines Mesias to the floor and then follows. They brawl ringside, Abyss slams him to the steps and back into the ring we go. Slams Abyss’ leg off of the post and then works a leg lock. Abyss escapes, and then tosses Mesias down. Abyss to the floor and Mitchell has the tacks he is looking for. Abyss chases Mitchell, who goes up the ram Mesias chop blocks the leg of Abyss and then slams it off of the ramp. Abyss slammed into the steps knee first. Back in, Mesias up top and leaps into a goozle, Mesias escapes and then eats a big boot. Corner splash by Abyss. Samoan Clambake connects and then gets a side slam for 2. Abyss gets a chair and brings it into the ring. He wedges it into the corner and then argues with the ref. Chops by Mesias, rights and more chops. More rights by Mesias, Irish whip, reversal and a LOW KICK by Abyss and he then slams Mesias into the chair in the corner. Chokeslam by Abyss and a cover for 2. Mitchell is back with a different bag and lays it down. Abyss to the floor and gets a barber wire chair. The ref takes it away and Mitchell gives Mesias another chair. Nails Abyss in the head and then goes up top. Big splash connects and he covers for a close 2. Mesias beats down Abyss, off the ropes and he runs into a black hole slam. Mitchell distracts the ref, Abyss goes after Mitchell and pulls him in. Mesias is up and the ref saves Mitchell, allowing Mesias to get the mist and leaping flatliner on the barbed wire chair and that is all.
Winner: Judas Mesias @ 11:09 via pin **
-After the match Mitchell demands that CHRIS tells the truth. He refuses and Mitchell promised that he would burn in hell. He gets the bag and has a can of gasoline. Mesias pours it on Abyss and Mitchell has matches. Security is out to save the day.
-Crystal is with Nash and explains the situation. Nash says he is a hell of a guy, and wrestling is a crazy world. He knows this and Joe knows this. He explains the he will put the asses in seats and win titles while making money. Nash hits on her and she likes it.
-Crystal is with Booker and Sharmell. Booker is worried because she isn’t a wrestler, but she wants this so she gets it. He then warns Roode that he doesn’t want her pissed off. Sharmell says she will do her talking out in the ring.
Booker and Roode will begin, and Roode stalls right away. Back in, Roode complains to the ref for no reason and Booker slaps him. Rights by Booker, Roode fires back and then knees by Booker. To the corner and an eye rake by Roode. He slams Booker to the corner, chops and Booker back with chops of his own. Off the ropes and more chops by Booker. Roode fights back and chokes out Booker. Miss Brooks is not happy. Booker misses a sidekick and a DDT by Roode gets 2. To the corner and rights by Roode. Booker back with the sidekick and Roode is down. Off the ropes and a leg lariat by Booker and a cover for 2. Wrist lock by Booker, knees to Roode now and Roode fires back with chops. Booker sends him off the ropes and Roode lands a dropkick for 2. To the corner and boots by Roode and then chokes out Booker. Brooks refuses to help Roode, and he then tells her to leave. Booker back with rights, off the ropes and she ends up tripping Booker. She hates herself for that. Knee drops by Roode and a cover for 2. A side back breaker by Roode gets 2. Booker fights back, off the ropes and misses a kick and lands on the top rope. Roode shoulder blocks him to the floor. He follows him out and rams him to the apron. Back in and Roode covers for 2. He works the chin lock now. Roode then gets a blockbuster and a cover for 2. Roode holds Booker and makes Brooks slap him. Brooks now refuses and Roode slaps at her and that’s a tag. Sharmell in and she tackles Brooks and they catfight. Roode grabs Sharmell and pulls her off and then goes to the floor to brawl with Booker. Brooks in control in the ring, Roode grabs Sharmell and then Brooks rolls her up for 2, but is kicked off and hits Roode, allowing Sharmell to pin Brooks with a roll up.
Winners: Booker and Sharmell T @ 11:05 via pin **
-The T’s celebrate and Roode is pissed at Brooks. They argue in the ring and then she slaps him and attacks him! He grabs her by the hair and Sharmell is back in and he turns around and LEVELS her. BOOKER IS PISSED OFF! He rushes the ring and Roode runs away as Booker checks on Sharmell. Mike Tenay is OFFENDED and says that TNA does not condone this. Don West is SHOCKED and speechless. Sharmell gets medical attention as Miss Brooks looks on concerned. The crowd hated Roode for this and chanted for Sharmell when she got up.
-Crystal is with Cage. He saw such potential in AJ, and that is why he treats AJ the way he does, tough love. Karen is trying to seduce him like a cougar in heat. All she did was prove how she is showing her age. Hell, she can’t even please her husband. The only thing that will be hard tonight is explaining why AJ went with Cage and why Cage won the title. If you don’t know, well, now you know!
-Tenay and West promise an update on Sharmell as they get it and say Roode went too far.
-Back for part II of the DCS. They play Edward 40-Hands. Young asks Crystal to pinch it off because he has to pee. Storm spills some beer and Young wins. Tied 1-1. He then pisses himself. Wow.
-They set up Ultimate X and Tenay and West explain the rivalry. This is a momentum killer. It also worries me as they usually have it set up in advance.
-Sharmell has been taken to a local medical facility.
-3D and Devine are out and Ray has a mic. The time has come he says. They have been training for a long time for this match and are in great shape. Devine sits on top of the X to hang the belt. He is a gazelle and Devon is like a black panther. Brother Devine was made for this match, and together they are the greatest. They are the best hardcore wrestlers, So Cal Val is a tramp, they are the masters of tables, of TLC, and overall the best we have ever seen. Ray then tells the ref that the X-Division guys will cheat. And here comes Lethal and the Machine Guns!
The faces charge the ring and we brawl. The Guns are selling their wrists from the attack on Thursday. 3D attacks the injured hands and wrists, which is a good play on the angle. Machismo slams Devine to the barrier and 3D sets up a table. Machismo slams Devine off of the steps and 3D sets up anther table. They try powerbombs, but Machismo stops that. Shelley in to climb, starts but the hand is too hurt. Ray in and then eats a clothesline from Sabin. Sabin tries to climb, but he can’t climb either. Devon takes him down and lays the boots to him. Machismo flies in with a clothesline, and he climbs now. Devine snags him off and gets a DVD! Devine climbs and goes across. The Guns swing him off and Devine lands on his head! DAMN! Ray and Devon in and level the Guns. They try to jump for the title belt, and then Rey tries to boost Devon up, but hurts his back. Devon to his knees, Ray stand on his back and that fails. Devon says he is too fat and then ray climbs in the corner, Sabin in to stop them but gets tossed to the floor. Ray up and goes to climb, Machismo leaps onto the cables and teases Ray. He slips off and Ray goes to climb across and falls right off. He climbs again to YOU’RE TOO FAT chants. Ray back up, Machismo follows but is tossed off. Ray then misses an elbow drop and Machismo climbs. Devine in, pulls him off and gets a front lung blower. Curb stomp by Devine, and he climbs. Shelley in and gets an atomic drop off of the cables to Devine. Tornado DDT by Sabin onto Devine. Shelley misses a plancha onto Ray. Kendo stick attacks to the hands of the Guns. Devon climbs and Ray lets him use his shoulders to go across. Superkick by Shelley and Machismo dives into pull Devon off. Machismo climbs now, Devine was on Ray’s shoulders and Machismo gets a REVERSE RANA and Devine lands on his head again! Jesus. Ray now goes for a ladder. Tenay says that there is an unwritten rule not to use a ladder. The ref is down somehow, and the Guns are in and get stereo Enziguris to 3D. Devine wipes them out with Kendo shots. Devine climbs the ladder and Sabin shoves it over and Devine BOUNCES OFF OF THE TABLES~! Jesus he may die tonight. 3D on Sabin! They toss a ladder at Machismo! They go to climb the ladder now, and Devon gets the belt and Hangs up there as they toss the ladder out. They ring the bell and 3D and Devine win. Easily the weakest of the Ultimate X matches.
Winners: Team 3D and Johnny Devine @ 12:15 **
-We get a video package for the TNA Tag Title Match.
-Crystal is with Joe. She says they seem to be getting along. He says they didn’t start off well, but maybe he was wrong about Nash and Hall. But over the last few weeks they have trained together, and he learned about mind games, which he appreciates. He prays for Tomko and AJ, because they have a mission to win the titles. And maybe, maybe the old guard and the new guard can make history.
-They update us and say they fear that Sharmell may have broken her jaw.
AJ and Joe to begin. They do some may work and then Joe tosses down AJ. Rights by AJ, leg scissors by Joe and then into a knee bar, AJ gets the ropes. Nash tags in and elbows to AJ. In the corner and Nash tosses AJ back to the center of the ring. AJ off the ropes, and gets a basement dropkick to the knee of Nash. AJ works the knee with elbow drops, Nash kicks him away and he tags in Tomko. Tomko with rights to Nash and he is down. Nash pulls Tomko to the corner, struggles to his feet and ten works over Tomko in the corner. Tomko then levels Nash with a clothesline and covers for 2. Tomko now works the knee of Nash, elbows and the knee crank. Tag back to AJ, slingshot senton onto the knee of Nash. Tomko tags back in and runs into a side slam by Nash. Nash looks for the tag…and gets it. Joe and AJ in, atomic drop to AJ, running boot by Joe and the running back splash. Samoan Drop on Tomko. Tags Nash in and they double team Tomko and then gets the big boot to Tomko. Joe with a TBONE on Tomko for 2. AJ flies in with a missile dropkick to Joe and Tomko just beats Joe down with rights. Tomko chokes Joe out, chops now and a tag to AJ. Joe battles back, off the ropes and a swank dropkick by AJ gets a cover for 2. Back to the corner and Tomko tags in. Short-armed clothesline by Tomko gets 2. Tomko works the chin lock now, Joe battles t his feet and escapes only to eat a back elbow for 2. Tag to AJ, rights to Joe and then AJ works the Indian deathlock with the bridge. Tag to Tomko, chops to Joe and he is lighting up Joe. DDT by Tomko gets 2. Rights by AJ as he tags back in, but Joe battles back and they trade rights. Joe starts to light up AJ, jab and AJ is down to the Apron. AJ springs in and is CAUGHT in a powerbomb! Tomko takes out Nash and Joe then snap slams Tomko. Nash cheers on Joe for the tag…and then walks away. Go figure. AJ and Tomko try the tornado plex, Joe escapes and gets a release German on AJ. Clothesline to Tomko. Sets him up top…AJ nails him and then Joe gets the STJOE on AJ! Enziguri on Tomko! MUSCLE BUSTER on AJ gets 2 as Tomko makes the save. THANK YOU TOMKO CHANTS! Tomko TRIES THE TREE SLAM, BUT Joe gets the choke and Tomko escapes. PELE by AJ, big boot by Tomko and then the tornado plex finishes Joe.
Winners: Tomko and AJ @ 11:56 via pin ***
-We get the finals of the DCS. They do a shot game with high low card rules, until someone passes out. Storm changes the rules to a bottle if they lose. Young does a beer bong with Whiskey. Storm pours something in it while he drinks, and he passes out. Storm wins. They will face at the next PPV in Storm’s choice of match.
-JB is with Angle. Kurt asks questions about Karen’s efforts to sway AJ. JB says she tried to seduce AJ, and Angle asks if it worked. Angle seems happy that his wife is a whore and says he will keep the title tonight, crushing Cage’s dreams.
-We get a video package for Angle vs. Cage.
-JB does the super special ring announcing.
The crowd is strongly behind Cage. Lock up, to the corner and Cage breaks. Lock up and to the corner they go again, Angle reverses and gets a go behind and Cage gets the standing switch. Angle takes him to the mat and Cage scrambles for the ropes. Cage gets a headlock, off the ropes and after counters Angle tries a suplex, blocked and Cage misses an Enziguri, Angle misses an elbow drop and they stand off. Boot by Angle, followed by an uppercut and Cage is down. A back elbow by Angle and Cage is down. Headlock takedown by Angle, Cage escapes and then Angle rams into the steel post. Unprettier countered and Angle has a headlock. Off the ropes, and Cage tosses Angle to the floor. Angle back in, they talk shit and trade slaps. Forearms by Cage, Angle is down. Angle to the apron, Cage there as well and gets the kick to Angle and he falls to the floor. Cage they gets a sweet springboard cross body to Angle on the floor! Angle back in, Cage up top and leaps into an overhead belly to belly that sends Cage all the way to the floor! Back in the ring and Angle lays the boots to Cage and then gets a slam. Front face lock by Angle, Cage fights but eats a knee to the gut, Angle covers for 2. Angle works the reverse bear hug, to the mat they go and Cage fights to his feet, off the ropes and Angle gets another release overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Cage rolls to the floor, Karen then slaps Cage. Angle follows him out and lays in some uppercuts. Back into the ring we go and Angle locks in the body scissors with the chin lock. Cage fights to his feet, and Cage gets a sleeper. Angle escapes and Cage then spears him! 1…2…NO! cage up top now, Angle over and follows Cage up. He backdrops Cage off of the top! Angle all the way up…MOONSAULT CONNECTS! 1…2…NO! Jesus that moonsault is still awesome. Angle slam countered and Cage gets a tornado DDT! Cage with a clothesline and back elbow. Inverted DDT by Cage, he goes up top and MISSES the frog splash! Angle gets aside roll for 2. German by Angle. He holds on and gets another. Still holds on and goes for three and gets it. STRAPS ARE DOWN for Angle. He stalks Cage, Angle slam countered and Cage tries the unprettier but Angle gets the ankle lock. Cage escapes, roll up and back to the ankle lock. Cage gets a roll up from that for a CLOSE 2! Cage to the apron, up top and Angle grabs the ankle lock with Cage up top! Cage kicks him off, up top and Angle runs up and gets the supelx off the top for a close 2! Nice. Ankle lock again, Cage fights for the ropes and Angle goes for the grapevine, Cage escapes before he can and gets the Texas Cloverleaf~! Angle looks to tap…but gets the ankle lock counter. Cage escapes and looks for the unprettier, countered and Cage with the Edge-u-cution for a close 2. Cage goes up top…Karen distract shim, Angle runs up and Cage bites him and knocks him off. FROG SPLASH! 1…2…NO! Cage almost hits the ref, low blow by Angle, Angle slam and ONLY 2! Karen bitches at the ref, Ankle lock and Cage escapes and gets the Unprettier for 2!!!!!! Karen still on the apron, she argues with the ref, Cage then gets the ankle lock on Angle! Angle taps, ref distracted and AJ is out to take Karen away. He and Cage then hug…and he then turns on Cage by hitting the Superman forearm on Cage. Angle slam and that is all. Excellent match, predictable ending booking crap.
Winner: Kurt Angle @ 18:45 via pin ****
-AJ and Angle celebrate in the ring
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