411’s WWE Smackdown Report 08.28.03

WWE Smackdown for August 28, 2003. Taped from El Paso, Texas
Report by Brad Jennette, EXCLUSIVELY for www.411wrestling.com

The video rolls, the pyro hits and we are TAPED FROM EL PASO … it’s WWE Smackdown for August 28, 2003

We kick off Smackdown with Latino Heeeet himself, Eddie Guererro in his bouncing low-rider outside the arena bouncing around. Eddie gets out and comes inside the arena. After a bit, Eddie appears in the crowd in his street clothes to a monster pop. Eddie gets on the mic and talked about how his great, great grandma cheated on getting her citizenship into the US by beating another grandma down and stealing her test answers. Cena comes out to huge heel heat. He calls Eddie a wetback who doesn’t deserve the US title because he isn’t even American. Cena and Eddie agree to have a US title match later on tonight. Eddie attacks Cena anyway and steals his jersey. Eddie cuts his own rap! He lies, he cheats, Cena can’t handle his Latino Heat! This was an awesome segment.

Cruiserweight Title Match: Rey Mysterio (c) vs Nunzio
The FBI is back on Smackdown! Unfortunately, Palumbo and Stamboli get sent to the back before the match. This was your typical WWE cruiserweight goodness all packed into a 5 minute match. Nunzio blocked the West Coast Pop with a nice powerbomb but eventually got hit with a top rope legdrop for the pinfall for Rey. You see, I like that. Rey won with a move he usually doesn’t win with but now that just adds another possible finish to all his matches.
Winner: Rey Mysterio.

Chris Benoit vs A-Train
I really like Benoit like all other internet smarts should but this was not particularly interesting or anything. They had a better match a few months back. Benoit was able to hit the manly chops on A-Train but that didn’t really matter. A-Train kicked out of the flying headbutt but once again, that wasn’t a surprise as everyone kicks out of it now. A-Train pulled the turnbuckle pad off exposing the steel bolt but he ended up getting send into it himself. Benoit then locked in the crossface for the tap out win. A-Train’s feet were under the ropes (we shall get to that later) while he was tapping by the way.
Winner: Chris Benoit

Backstage, Eddie is told something happened to his car, so he goes to check it out.

Backstage, A-Train confronts Benoit about the feet in the ropes. Benoit gets pissed and starts to go after Train but Rhyno comes out of nowhere to spear Benoit through a door.

Backstage, Eddie checks out his low-rider and sees one of the wheels is missing! He asks the APA if they know anything about out. They don’t. He asks Orlando Jordan and Funaki, they don’t know anything. He asks the FBI and they laugh about it, so he punches them both in the face. Eddie = superstar.

Brock Lesnar comes out next and gets on the mic. He tells the crowd to shut up. He goes on a whiny rant about how he’s tired of hearing “You Tapped Out”. He says Angle’s victory was a fluke, a mirage and a miracle. Angle appears on the Smack Tron and says Brock is a little baby. He says Brock should stop bitching. Brock demands a rematch but Taker interrupts by coming out on his back. Taker says Brock had his shot and that its now Taker’s turn. Enter Big Show. Show says he is the biggest and baddest so he should get the title shot. Enter Stephanie McMahon. She decided the only fair way to solve this is problem is to make tonight’s main event Brock vs Taker vs Show for the number one contenders match.

Backstage, Cena says he would NEVER jack another man’s ride.

United States Title: Eddie Guererro vs John Cena
Cena comes out with Eddie’s tire. Cena gets on the mic and says Eddie isn’t the only one who steals but Cena is the only one who gets caught. I LOVED this match. Cena and Eddie with back and forth with a crowd as hot as you will ever see. Eddie rolled the tire into the ring and when the referee rolled it back out, Eddie whacked Cena with a chair! The totally screwed Eddie by having Cena kick out of the froggy splash. The finish was weak with Cena drawing a weak DQ with a low blow. Cena hits Eddie with his chain and then gives Eddie the FU on the tire after the match and leaves to some huge heel heat.
Winner by DQ: Eddie Guererro

#1 Contender No DQ Match: Brock Lesnar vs Undertaker vs The Big Show
Our Olympic hero and WWE champion Angle is doing color commentary. This was a nice little three way match in spite of the fact that two of these guys are slugs who can hardly move. The finish saw Brock and Show tease their famous superplex spot but have Taker break it up. Taker then knocked Show off and hit the Last Ride out of the corner for the clean pin. Taker is YOUR number 1 contender. Angle and Taker have a big stare down to end the show.
Winner: Undertaker.

End of Show.