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411’s Instant Analysis 08.17.12: WWE SmackDown

August 17, 2012 | Posted by Empire Of Ownage 411

Hey everyone! Long time no….anything. I just finished a summer out in L.A. as my last semester of school, and now I’m gearing up to move out there full-time in just a couple weeks. Unfortunately, due to the time zone difference, I was unable to do this column. I’ll do it this week and whenever I can before I leave, but after that point, I’ll be officially stepping down from the IA since it’s just unrealistic that I can get it done by the time it’s due.

Before we go any further, I want to show those who might be interested the series finale of my TV show “Shenanigans”. I spent my entire spring busting my ass to put this together, and regardless of what you think of it, I had a blast and it’s reeling in the accolades so I’m proud of it.

Here are my policies for this column:
-I do not watch or rate recaps or video packages (unless it’s an impending debut or return).
-My ratings reflect full segments and are not indicative of star ratings for matches.
-I tend to watch with a positive outlook.
-There will be no TNA bashing here.

SEGMENT ONE: Booker stands by his decision & books Jericho vs. Del Rio

This was just managerial stuff on screen. It wasn’t really a promo segment, and the interactions weren’t that good until Jericho got out there. The problem with Jericho’s face character is that he himself has discredited it as pandering whenever he’s a heel, so I now can’t see it as any other way. At the very least, we’ll get a good main event (hopefully), and it’s pretty obvious I think that before the night’s over, Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio at SummerSlam will be back on.

Rating: 4.5 out of 10

SEGMENT TWO: Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara vs. The Miz & Cody Rhodes

Cody’s pre-match promo was gold. He really needs that main event push sooner than later. The match itself was really good, but too short given the talent involved. Sin Cara was crisp, Mysterio was Mysterio, and is it just me, or has The Miz really upped his in-ring game since he’s been back? This match was short, and the heat sequence was too long in my opinion, but I really liked the ending spot — nice and creative use of Cara’s mask and Rey’s 619.

Match Result: Rey Mysterio pinned Cody Rhodes
Match Length: Four and a half minutes
Rating: 6.0 out of 10

SEGMENT THREE: Tyler Reks & Curt Hawkins vs. Jobber-in-Tights & Jobber-in-Singlet

My God, Hawkins and Reks’ new entrance is horrible. I think the gimmick could work, but they were just not good at it. For those who didn’t see it, they came out in suits and stripped down to their underwear. Anyways, they dominated two jobbers (whose names were never mentioned), and then gyrated some more on the turnbuckles. Next…

Match Result: Tyler Reks pinned Jobber-in-Singlet
Match Length: About a minute and a half
Rating: 2.0 out of 10

SEGMENT FOUR: Eve vs. Kaitlyn (Winner becomes Booker T’s Assistant)

William Regal sighting! He wished Eve luck and then was told to get back to work (he was taking out trash). That man can make anything work. Anyway, the match itself had the wrong result, butit wasn’t offensively bad. It didn’t impress, but it was by no means a train wreck. I also really like Kaitlyn. Too bad she lost…I don’t know why Eve would want to win this match — if Teddy is Booker’s advisor, and Eve is Booker’s assistant, wouldn’t Teddy just have Booker put Eve in constant embarrassing situations? Plus, Eve’s already over to some degree. Kaitlyn could have used the rub.

Match Result: Eve pinned Kaitlyn
Match Length: Just over two minutes
Rating: 4.5 out of 10

SEGMENT FIVE: Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

In just two weeks, Daniel Bryan has been put in singles matches with John Cena and Randy Orton. I honestly feel like Bryan has managed to weather the “post-first championship reign funk” that has plagued pretty much every first time world champion in the WWE since Edge in 2006. He has arrived in the main event, and even if they treat him like a goon and have him get pinned (as most heels are/do), I don’t think he’ll slide too far down the card. He doesn’t look out of place in matches with WWE’s top names, and he really didn’t look out of place at Raw 1000 standing in the ring with Punk and The Rock. The match itself was solid, and the screwy finish was both expected and necessary. You don’t want a clean finish to this match on TV, and it keeps Orton strong despite not being on the PPV card.

Match Result: Randy Orton pinned Daniel Bryan
Match Length: About nine minutes
Rating: 7.0 out of 10

SEGMENT SIX: Antonio Cesaro vs. Zack Ryder

I’m not crazy about how the mic time they give Cesaro is used, but I get it. He’s just not saying anything of substance; he’s establishing a catchphrase. Anyway, this was a nothing match just used to build up the challenger to the US Title match on the SummerSlam pre-show, and it did just that. It’s unfortunate that Ryder has fallen down the card this far, but that’s not what we’re talking about here. Serviceable segment.

Match Result: Antonio Cesaro pinned Zack Ryder
Match Length: A minute and a half
Rating: 5.0 out of 10

SEGMENT SEVEN: Alberto Del Rio vs. Chris Jericho/SummerSlam’s WHC match is reinstated

Having Del Rio dominate a weakened Jericho was a great way to do this match. Del Rio gets leverage over Booker to get back into the WHC match at SummerSlam, and Jericho gets to play sympathetic face both here and on Sunday. The interference by Ziggler was expected, and while it was annoying that there were a lot of Shenanigans and run-ins tonight, it worked for story purposes, and you can’t be too upset. While the match lasted, it was actually pretty strong, on par with Bryan vs. Orton from earlier. The post-match stuff was good. I enjoy Sheamus’ character, and he’s been a really strong champion (despite lacking character depth) and his interactions with Booker at the end were good. Strongest segment of the night, I think.

Match Result: Alberto Del Rio pinned Chris Jericho
Match Length: A little over eight minutes
Rating: 7.5 out of 10

FINAL THOUGHTS

Segment of the Night: Jericho vs. Del Rio/Reinstating the championship match

Trash Segment of the Night: Hawkins & Reks vs. Jobbers

Final Analysis: I’m a pretty positive guy, but this didn’t impress me. We got a good (but too short) tag match, Bryan vs. Orton, and Jericho vs. Del Rio. The latter two didn’t have clean finishes, but delivered in the ring. The promos throughout pretty much the whole night didn’t hit with me for whatever reason, and I don’t feel any more inclined to purchase SummerSlam (although I’m already leaning towards buying it because of Jericho/Ziggler, HHH/Lesnar, and the WWE Championship match). This week gets a not so good score.

Verdict: 5.1

411 RATINGS SCALE:
0 – 0.9: Torture
1 – 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 – 2.9: Very Bad
3 – 3.9: Bad
4 – 4.9: Poor
5 – 5.9: Not So Good
6 – 6.9: Average
7 – 7.9: Good
8 – 8.9: Very Good
9 – 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect