411’s Impact Wrestling Report 1.26.12

411’s IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT 1.26.12

Championship Roll Call:
TNA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP: Bobby Roode
TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP: Austin Aries
TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: Crimson and Matt Morgan
TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP: Gail Kim
TNA KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: Gail Kim and Madison Rayne
TNA TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP: Robbie E

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The Usual DeMarco Disclaimers…
* I am rolling 100% SPOILER FREE tonight! 100%
* I actually like Impact Wrestling
* I announced the Horsemen for tonight’s coverage…but John Laurinaitis stepped in and said it will have to wait for NEXT WEEK! Freakin’ Johnny Ace…

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Opening Video Package
Tonight we take a look at the events over the past few weeks between World Champ Bobby Roode, Jeff Hardy, James Storm and Bully Ray. Storm was the #1 contender, but it was nullified. Storm faced Hardy for that spot again, but there was no winner. And Bully Ray interjected himself as well.

Jeff Hardy attacks Bully Ray backstage
We open the live action with Jeff Hardy laying a beatdown on Bully Ray. Hardy takes several shots at Ray with a broom in the photography area. Bully Ray makes a comeback, but misses an elbow on the set, apparently covered in roses. Hardy tosses Ray into a ladder, and into some other equipment as well. Hardy continues the onslaught as this appears to be going a bit long. We’re back into the loading area when a white truck pulls up—out comes Bobby Roode!

The numbers are against Hardy now, as he gets beaten with a lead pipe and a piece of staging. Ray & Roode toss Hardy in the back of the white truck, and here’s James Storm for the save! He sends Ray into a table (into, not through), but Roode interjects once again and the heels take the advantage. Storm breaks the table, and here’s the Stinger! Sting cleans house with a baseball bat, and even loses the sunglasses—giving us a rare glimpse of his face.

Show Open…and it’s IMPACT WRESTLING TIME! We open with a match?!?!?

Knockouts Championship #1 Contender Match
Velvet Sky vs. Tara vs. Mickie James
Interesting dynamic with three faces in this mtach. Tara gets the first nearfall with a roll-up that Velvet breaks up with a drop kick. Velvet also gets two. Nice kick on Tara by Mickie, and she gets two. Things break down to Tara holding the advantage as we head to our first…

[Commercial Break.]

We return as Velvet monkey flips Tara out of the corner, and Mickie immediately takes advantage of Velvet. Not in that way—pervs! Tara slams Mickie, then misses a dancing-standing-moonsault. Velvet again takes control over Mickie with the spinning (and spinning) headscissors. But Mickie comes back and Hardcore Country stands tall! Another nearfall on Velvet, and Tara sends Velvet to the outside. Mickie nails a back heel kick and covers for two…the Impact Zone is DEAD for this match! Mickie goes for the DDT but Velvet cuts her off. Tara twirls Velvet right onto Mickie and gets three!
Winner: Tara (pinfall on Mickie James), 9:51, ***

Gail Kim Backstage
Gail congratulates Tara, but looks forward to bringing it at Against All Odds.

The Icon walks to the ring…he’ll address us…NEXT!

[Commercial Break.]

Earlier Tonight…
Well, you already saw what happened.

Sting Talks!
Sting walks to the ring with James Storm, Jeff Hardy and no music. Makes me wonder if this was supposed to happen at the start of the show when they filmed it. Sting immediately calls out Bully Ray & Bobby Roode. The heels soon oblige through the LAX entrance, and an immediate brawl ensues! Sting gets physical with Bully Ray, then keeps everyone at bay. This show is seriously lacking and passion and heat tonight.

Sting has a hard time keeping control as Roode spits at Storm. It doesn’t take long for things to breakdown again, so Sting drops the mic and watches on from the corner. Sting gets involved again, with shots for Bully Ray and a bat choke for Bobby Roode. Sting announces the Tag Team Main Event as if it weren’t already announced a week ago! Storm calls Ray fatboy, and the fight is on yet again! Storm asks for the tables match, and the crowd finally gives a reaction.

Sting’s music plays as all four men decide to stop fighting.

Alex Shelley Backstage
Shelley says this is the longest he’s gone since wrestling, and he has Zema Ion tonight, and if he wins he gets Austin Aries at Against All Odds —and he thinks the odds are in his favor. Ah, nice play on words.

Does Ion get a shot if he wins? Or is this one of those UFC fights? Where if one guy wins he gets a title shot—and if the other wins, well…he wins.

Eric Young Backstage
EY warms up backstage, but fails to really do much. Things heat up when Winter & Angelina Love arrive. They love his beard and think they could be doing several fun things tonight. Young pulls a cup out of his shorts, and everyone gets pissed at him—including his lady friend ODB.

X-Division Title Match Eliminator
Zema Ion (handpicked by champ Austin Aries) vs. Alex Shelley (with a title shot on the line)

Shelley’s jacket is as interesting as his hair. Taz observes that Shelley is still in great shape. Lock-up to start, and we get a clean break by Ion—allowing Shelley to cinch in a headlock. Shelley with an innovative roll-up for two. He tells Ion he was “this close,” leading to a chop fest. Shelley with a round kick to the back, and Ion tells the camera man to stop recording. Shelley’s charge misses, and Ion twists into a pretty pin attempt—for two. Shelley spins Ion around and drops him face first to the mat. Shelley clotheslines Ion over the top to the outside, and Ion avoids the baseball slide.

Shelley charges, but Ion slingshots him to the rope, and gets two with a “neckbreaker.” Shelley is quick to regain control, but Ion pokes him in the eye. Dropkick sends Shelley to the outside, but he charges in to catch Ion with a running knee. Clothesline and head kick follow, followed by a downward spiral into the corner. Shelley goes up, but ion avoids the double stomp. Sweet DDT sends Shelley down, and Ion goes up. 450 splash misses but Sliced Bread doesn’t and Shelley gets his title shot.
Winner: Alex Shelley (pinfall, Sliced Bread #2), 4:23, ***

The crowd was more alive for that match, and seem excited to see Shelley get his title shot. We were not graced by an appearance from The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived.

AJ Styles Backstage
He admits he was watching and enjoying the last match. He wonders if the business has really changed them that much, and calls Frankie “Chris’s Puppet.” He plans to get some answers…TONIGHT!

Tara Backstage
Tara discusses her history with Gail Kim, but plans to train hard and “learn some more moves.” We talk waist size for a moment, and then Tara talks about reading Kim’s actions. Gail says she’ll play dirty if she needs to.

When Eric Met Garett
Eric Bischoff visits the gym where Garett Bischoff is working out, looking for his trainer. He doesn’t find him.

[Commercial Break.]

When Eric Met Garett (Repeat)
Taz & Tenay talk about Garett’s trainer, and we’re back to the gym scene—the same exact scene as before. This time Eric meets the trainer, and immediately pushes the camera man out the door. I guess he didn’t want us to see Hogan.

Intergender-ish Tag Team Match
Angelina Love & Winter vs. Eric Young & ODB
We get entrances from everyone, and then we cut away.

[Commercial Break.]

We come back for the opening bell, and it’s Eric Young and Angelina Love to start. Eric messes with the ref and counts to twenty. But a full sixty seconds in and we’ve had zero wrestling. This is why I’m over Eric Young now. We get Twitter ads (didn’t they know the WWE has abandoned the Twitter focus?), Maximum Impact promo, and we finally get some wrestling after two minutes. Eric pulls the straps shorts down, and the crowd counts some more.

ODB thankfully tags herself in at the 3 minute mark, and we actually get some wrestling. Bronco Buster to Angelina Love (“junk to the face” as Taz put it). Irish whip by Angelina, and she puts ODB down for two. Love whips Winter into ODB in the corner, and she follows it up with a backbreaker for two. The crowd suddenly starts using the “TWO!” cheer for the nearfalls. ODB gets some crowd support as ODB is trapped in the Tree of Woe. Winter gets two and locks in a rear choke. Taz must miss Michael Cole, because he’s treating this like NXT Season 3. Jaw breaker and Eric Young slides the flask to ODB, and she takes a drink. This seems to fire her up, as she levels Angelina with some forearms. ODB sends her down three times, and follows up with a Fall-Away Slam. ODB kips up, and Angelina is in pain. Winter tries to help her partner, and we get STEREO AIRPLANE SPINS! ODB polishes hers off with a Samoan Drop for the merciful three.
Winners: Eric Young & ODB (ODB pin on Angelina Love), 6:59, *1/2

That was dreadfully awful.

Bully Ray & Bobby Roode backstage
Bully Ray says Storm grew some balls, and Roode doesn’t know why. Ray claims he always kept Devon in check, and Ray points out that Roode is the TNA World Heavyweight Champ “not for long.” Neither man trusts the other, as they refuse to turn their back on their partner.

[Commercial Break.]

Matt Morgan & Crimson vs. Samoa Joe & Magnus video
Crimson promotes one of Ring of Honor’s biggest shows during the voice over—when he’s not being bleeped out. Who are the faces here? We get Crimson vs. Magnus highlights, which last as long as their match did. Maybe longer. Crimson says no one will beat them.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan
Unlike last week, each man is accompanied by their. I love that Samoa Joe and Magnus are simply a team now, not a thrown together team. Joe with some kicks to start, and then punches Morgan in the corner. Morgan with the GOOZLE! and walks Joe to the corner. Morgan chops the hell out of Joe, then snaps him on the top rope. Morgan with the apron leg drop. Back inside, Morgan headbutts Joe, playing to the crowd with the elbows. In a nice bit of action, Joe immediately turns it into a rear-naked choke. Morgan escapes, and clotheslines Joe down. Joe staggers to the corner, but nails Morgan with an elbow. Joe with a leg lariat from the middle turnbuckle, and a headbutt follows. Morgan immediately sends Joe away, but Joe kicks him in the head for two. Joe gets frustrated, and Morgan fights his way up from the mat.

We exchange rights in the center of the ring until Joe goes for the eyes. Joe charges but eats an elbow and two clotheslines. Joe is up in the corner and Morgan follows with a splash. And another! Side slam to Joe gets two for The Blueprint. Morgan sets him up for the Hellevator, but Joe takes over with his trademark offense. Senton gets two for the Samoan Submission Machine. Joe goes for the figure four but Morgan kicks him away. Clothesline by Morgan gets two three? Wow.
Winner: Matt Morgan (clothesline pinfall), 5:01, **1/2

Joe & Magnus provide the post-match beatdown (complete with Crimson to the steps) and Magnus points out that they are always one step ahead? Did Joe purposely get pinned?

AJ Styles wants answers and he’s going to find them…NEXT!

[Commercial Break.]

James Storm & Jeff Hardy backstage
James Storm says he & Jeff Hardy have each other’s backs. Hardy says they started Impact with a “Bang!” and plan to end it with a “Boom!” Table style.

AJ Styles wants some answers…
AJ says he asked why two weeks ago—why would Frankie Kazarian turn his back. Kazarian cost him the match against Gunner last week—and AJ could care less. Because Christopher Daniels is the one telling Kazarian what to do. So why, AJ? Why was Daniels telling him what to do, and why was Kazarian allowing it?

This brings out Daniels and Kazarian, and Tenay recaps the past few weeks of this storyline as they make their way to the ring. Kazarian has a very guilty look throughout all of this.

Kazarian starts to talk, but Daniels cuts him off, demanding the mic. Daniels says we always see AJ complaining in the ring. Daniels is light years better than AJ in the mic. He says AJ will complain to anyone who will listen, and throws a tantrum when he doesn’t get his way. Daniels says Kazarian doesn’t owe AJ any answers, and AJ says that’s fine. AJ proves Daniels right and tries to make this one physical. Daniels calls AJ a thug, so he reluctantly gets back into the ring. AJ says he’ll turn his back and allow Frankie to take his head off. Kaz seems reluctant, but Daniels tells him to do it. Kazarian eventually refuses, so Daniels tries to it instead. AJ turns around, and levels Daniels to the floor.

AJ turns back to Frankie and wants him to make it right. He wants to shake hands and “forget all this.” Frankie hits the ring as the fans count again. Kazarian is about to shake, but Daniels stops him, and orders him out of the ring. Kazarian listens. Daniels says he’s had it with AJ’s tantrums, and he plans to go to Sting for a match at Against All Odds, to settle their issue “once and for all.” He wants AJ Styles vs. Frankie Kazarian. He orders Kazarian to go to Sting’s office and ask for that match. Kazarian argues, but appears to comply with The Fallen Angel’s request.

The Tables Match…is…NEXT!

[Commercial Break.]

Tag Team Tables Main Event
Jeff Hardy & James Storm vs. Bully Ray & TNA World Champion Bobby Roode
Separate entrances for everyone. Outstanding theme song for James Storm, by the way. One of the most fitting themes in wrestling today. We get canned heat for Bully Ray, proving just how dead this crowd is. They have reminded me of a small indy show tonight. Roode is obviously favoring the leg, and Taz & Tenay sell that everyone is banged up. Jeremy Borash with the super special ring announcing to remind us about UFC on FOX 2.

The battle starts right before the bell, and we’re all on the outside. Storm sends Roode into a table, but not through it! Hardy & Ray battle at a second table, but we go back to Storm who chokes Roode with a boot on the floor. Split screen for both battles, as we’re brawlin’ everywhere! Bully Ray nearly suplexes Hardy through a table, and Storm spits beer at Roode! IT BURRRRRRRRRNS!

Hardy with the advantage now, and we’ve been on the outside for the entire match thus far. Suplex by the champ to the rightful #1 Contender on the ramp. Hardy slammed hard to the floor, and now Ray goes after Storm with a chain! With Hardy down, Storm is in trouble. Storm fights back with the chain, and Hardy takes out Bobby Roode. Things are out of control as we take a commercial break just over three minutes in.

[Commercial Break.]

We’re back at 7:30 as Bully Ray blasts Jeff Hardy with a chair. Storm is generous with the beer tonight, as he has some for Ray. Hardy reverses a Roode powerbomb attempt and catapults him into the ring post. The crowd has come alive! Welcome back, kids! Jeff Hardy does something crazy—goes into the ring! Double suplex to Roode but Ray moves the table—such the veteran. He also takes out both Storm & Hardy. Ray continues to pound on Hardy as we pipe in some heat. Ray sets up the table, but Storm moves the table before Hardy goes through. Storm sends Ray over the top, but Roode immediately goes to work on his former partner. Roode them stomps on Hardy in the ring, and sets the table up in the corner.

Roode with an Irish Whip, but Hardy reverses and clothesline him down. Bully Ray lights up Jeff Hardy, then goes for a big boot. Only the boot goes through the table, and that’s not enough to end this match. Technically, it should have been—but I’m glad it didn’t.

Roode adds another table to the mix, and goes right back to work on Jeff Hardy. Bully Ray puts Hardy’s face against the ring post, and then repeatedly punches it! Storm is still down on the floor, but he enters the ring to save Hardy from a certain loss. Storm & Roode fight on the top, and Roode looks to superplex Storm through the table with Hardy on it. Hardy moves, Roode comes down and eats the Twist of Fate. Hardy holds Roode down on the table, and Storm flies with a splash off the middle rope for the win.
Winners: James Storm & Jeff Hardy (Storm puts Roode through a table), 14:00, ***

Bully Ray attacks both opponents with a chair, and we pump in some serious heat now! Bully Ray gets another table as Roode is still slow to get up. Ray takes Hardy to the top, but Hardy immediately escapes. Bully Ray eventually powerbombs Hardy through the table from the middle turnbuckle, and Roode hugs the World Heavyweight Championship (beautifully made by Wildcat Belts!). Bully Ray surveys the damage, Roode slowly leaves, trainers tend to Jeff Hardy, and we’re out!

DeMarco’s Knee Jerk Reaction
The line-up was great, but this edition of Impact Wrestling seemed to take a step back. The crowd was dead for most of the matches, and the pacing seemed off. We still had some angle development as Alex Shelley and Tara emerge as challengers at Against All Odds. We also know that at least three people know who Garett Bischoff’s trainer is (Garett, Eric and the trainer). Bully Ray looked strong after the main event, and I really see us as being headed to a four-way at Against All Odds. SPOILER FREE is the way to be! Impact Wrestling has been great over the past few weeks—so despite taking a step back, this was still a good show.

Next Week: Maximum Impact from London, England!