411’s OVW TV Report 4.25.04

Greetings OVW fanatics, I’m back, baby! After a two-week hiatus, I have returned for your reading pleasure.

The first week of my break was because of Easter, no explanation necessary.

The second week was just pure laziness.

In any event, I haven’t seen OVW in two weeks, so I may be a bit out of the loop.

Without further adieu, here we go!

LAST WEEK:

You probably have more of an idea than me.

THIS WEEK:

YOUR Commentators: Jim Cornette and Dean Hill

YOUR Venue: The Davis Arena

YOUR Commentator: Back, and better than ever.

FROM LAST WEEK: We opened with Dinsmore being yelled at by Inspector Impact. He said that Dinsmore has had everything handed to him and he dropped the ball. He couldn’t even beat Matt Morgan. Impact said that Dinsmore would have to play a goof on national TV for the rest of his life, that is, if he wants to pay his mother’s medical bills. Impact then added that Dinsmore could no longer wrestle in an OVW ring. Dinsmore said that it will be his last chance to beat Impact down, and he did so, locking Impact in a crossface. The Troubleshooters hit the ring, breaking it up. Impact nailed Dinsmore with his glorified powerslam.

OVW Opening.

From now on I’m going to try to tell you the theme songs to the best of my ability, as I just realized I haven’t done it enough.

Adrenaline’s music: Click Click Boom by Saliva

Carlos Colon & Da Beast: Some generic rap music.

Just to note: I love Adrenaline’s matches, but they are such crap to recap because of all the action going on. So when you read this, feel my pain.

Match #1: Adrenaline vs. Carlos Colon & Da Beast (w/ Lulu)

Cage and Colon locked up. Colon wrenched Cage’s arm then gouged his eyes. Cage Irish whipped him and hit a drop toehold. Colon got up and received a shoulder tackle. Cage went for a pin and got a 2. Cage wrenched Colon’s arm, took him to the ropes, and tagged in Tank. Tank continued the wrenching of the arm, and whipped him into the ropes. Tank armdragged Colon twice and then locked in an armbar. Colon gouged Tank’s eyes and tagged in Da Beast. Beast worked in a side headlock but Tank fought out. Blind tag and Cage dropkicks Da Beast. Cage got in a side headlock and tagged in Tank. Da Beast put Tank in a facelock and took him into the corner. Colon was tagged in. Colon slammed Tank’s head into the turnbuckle, but Tank whipped him into the ropes and dropped Colon with a flapjack. Lulu distracts the ref and Da Beast runs in and clotheslines Cage. Da Beast clubbed Tank’s back and tagged in Colon. Beast whipped Colon into the turnbuckle where he splashed Tank. Da Beast promptly gave Tank da boot for a 2. Da Beast and Colon repeated the splash spot mentioned above. Da Beast and Carlos ran into each other and that allowed Cage to receive the tag. Cage shoulder tackled Da Beast, dropkicked Colon, and dropped Da Beast with a jawbreaker for 2. Colon was superkicked by Cage. Chris Cage threw Tank off the top rope for a splash on Colon and Cage picked up the pin.

Winners: Adrenaline.

Match Rating: **1/2 Energetic stuff.

Commercial.

Troubleshooters Theme Song: Faint by Linkin Park. I suddenly hate the Troubleshooters with a passion.

The Troubleshooters came to the ring for an interview with Jim Cornette. Cornette talked about how Albright locked in the Crowbar on Standing Thunder after he was already being wheeled out on a stretcher. He said that Standing Thunder went back to his home country of Canada to see a doctor and he is out of action for 6 to 8 weeks. As a result of their unprofessional behavior, the Troubleshooters were fined $2,000 each. Albright said that the thrill he received from injuring Standing Thunder was worth $4,000. He said Inspector Impact carries around $4,000 in his back pocket for the tab at the strip club. Albright said that if Thunder didn’t want to be injured, he shouldn’t have stepped into the ring with the Troubleshooters. Albright spoke about the enjoyment he felt when he injured Thunder. He said that Thunder shouldn’t have been so proud and that he should’ve tapped. Cornette said that on May the 21st, the first date of the Summer Sizzler Series at Six Flags, The Troubleshooters will face former OVW alumni The Basham Brothers for the Southern Tag Team Titles. Masters got on the mic but was interrupted by Adrenaline. Tank took the microphone and said that the Bashams will face the Troubleshooters on the 21st, but the Troubleshooters won’t have the tag titles, as they will belong to Adrenaline.

Commercial.

Jillian Hall collects for the Crusade for Children.

FROM LAST WEEK: Inspector Impact defeated Rodney Mack when Rodney charged into his own chain, busting himself open. This caused Impact to pick up the pinfall.

FROM LAST WEEK: Matt Morgan won the OVW Title when the ref was bumped and Impact held a chair against the ropes and Dinsmore was thrown into it. This allowed Morgan to pick up the pinfall.

Commercial.

Matt Morgan’s entrance theme: Down with the Sickness by Disturbed. I suddenly have no respect left for this man.

Inspector Impact’s entrance theme: Money by Pink Floyd. Impact is the man.

Dean Hill and Jim Cornette are in the ring. Jim Cornette announces that on May the 21st at the Summer Sizzler Series, the current World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Benoit, will face the current OVW Champion, Matt Morgan.

Before I continue, I should note that Morgan is practically Brock Lesnar now. When he won the OVW title he banged his head on the title and roared, much like Lesnar when he won the title at Summerslam. That, I could dismiss. Then, when he came to the ring tonight, he faced the crowd and did the whole Brock Lesnar dance of doom. Thought I’d make a note.

I will get back to the recap.

Matt Morgan came to the ring and says that he’s glad to be getting a World Title shot and he will make history when he defeats Chris Benoit. He did the basic “I have great respect for that man, but I will beat him” shtick. Impact came to the ring and offered Morgan a chance to join the Team Players. Morgan not so politely declines. Impact said that without the Team Players, he promises Morgan will lose.

Commercial.

Another note, during this commercial break they hyped the Summer Sizzler Series. They said that the Troubleshooters would defend their Southern Tag Team titles against The Bashams. Yet, it was said that Chris Benoit would defend the World title against the current OVW Champion. No mention of Matt Morgan. Impact will more than likely win the title and challenge Benoit.

Johnny Jeter’s theme music: Alive by P.O.D.

A video package of Johnny Jeter and his father skydiving was shown.

Commercial.

Alexis Laree collected for the Crusade for Children.

FROM LAST WEEK: Kenny Bolin brought out a priest who won the lottery and received 66 million dollars. Bolin talked about all the good things he does for the underprivileged children and homeless animals, and that was why Jason Anderson (the priest) was backing him. Cornette understandably questions that, and he asked what work he ever did for homeless animals. Bolin said that two weeks ago there was a big storm and he saw an injured poodle. He said he brought it home and nursed it back to health. Cornette said he heard that Bolin sold the poodle to a Korean restaurant for $25. Cornette told the priest that if he wants to help OVW, he should talk to himself and Danny Davis. Bolin yelled and the priest punched Bolin.

Commercial.

OVW had a special treat for us. They showed the Triple Threat World Title match from Wrestlemania. We joined the match at the double suplex table spot, and from then on, it’s in its entirety. They showed the entire Brock vs. Rock match when Brock won the title too. OVW is the man.

Overall: Can’t say I enjoyed this show. There was one wrestling match and a lot of interviews.

NEXT WEEK:

There will probably be tons of Summer Sizzler Series hype.

Don’t forget, I enjoy all feedback from people who read the column. For all I care, add me to MSN, some already have. [email protected]

-Mitch Foist