411’s WWE Raw Report 03.08.10

FOLLOW US
@Robbymac82
@411Wrestling
@411Boxing
@411MoviesTV
@411Games
@411mma
@411mania

-Live from The Rose Garden in Portland, OR

-Hosted by Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler

-We kick things off right away as promised with UNDERTAKER’S DONG! Taker says last week was symbolic of what Shawn Michaels life has became number 17 in the streak. Shawn Michaels life has now got a dark cloud that hovers above him unable to be shaken. He says Shawn’s obsession with ridding himself of this cloud with cause him to pay the ultimate price. After Wrestlemania there will be no tomorrows, there will be celebrations, there will be no sense of triumph. For Shawn there will be no victory, but only that same dark cloud that will hover above his head for the rest of his life. It brings Taker no joy in saying this, but the fact is in three weeks Shawn Michaels’s career will rest in…Shawn has heard enough and interrupts before he can finish. Shawn says not tonight. Taker doesn’t get to finish his line because he hasn’t earned that right. Shawn says for the last year it has hung over his head like a dark cloud. Last week he went to bed full of anger and rage, but he woke up and the cloud was gone. Shawn had an epiphany. The reason he cost Taker the title in the chamber was because he had no choice. He had to do it. He said Taker didn’t have to interfere in his match last week though, and that’s when it occurred to him. Inside the cold black heart of The Undertaker exists fear. Undertaker says if he were Shawn he would choose his next words very carefully. Shawn repeats himself saying fear, and says Taker is the only one who knows how close he came to ending it all for him next year. He says that’s why Taker wanted him to put his career up, because he thought he could intimidate him. Shawn says this has been his life for the last 25 years, and says he wouldn’t have put it all on the line if he didn’t know he can beat him. He says no one can live a perfect life, and nothing lasts forever. At Wrestlemania he’s going to prove it. Taker says he can’t tell if he’s looking at a man who exudes confidence, or if he’s looking at a man full of pitiful desperation. Shawn says he’s not desparate. Last year he would have taken anything. A count out or disqualification. Anything to have his hand raised in victory, but not this year. He wants this year to be a no count out no disqualification match, and there must be a winner. He says this year he’s going to kick Taker’s teeth down his throat, and he’s going to beat him. Taker agrees to that stipulation, and says Shawn has chosen his own demise. Taker says he can look in Shawn’s eyes and can see the fire, passion, and will. He can look into his soul and see that Shawn honestly thinks he can beat him at Wrestlemania. Taker says that’s what makes Shawn the showstopper, the main eventer, Mr. Wrestlemania. Taker says not this year. He says in his opinion Shawn may be the greatest to ever step foot in the ring, but on March 28th he’s going to open the gates of hell and unleash a fury that no mortal man has ever seen to make sure that at Wrestlemania his career is over. Shawn tells Taker to keep telling himself that, because after Wrestlemania that dark cloud is going to come back. This time though its going to be hanging over Taker, and its going to follow him everywhere he goes. Inside that cloud is an image that will haunt him the rest of his life. That image will be Shawn Michaels ending the streak. Well that takes out the possibility of a draw or any other silly theories people have put forth. Great promo to kick things off.

Six Diva Tag Team Match: Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, & Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox, Katie Lea Burchill, & Maryse
Interesting that Katie Lea is still introduced with the last name Burchill despite Paul being released. Gail starts things off with Alicia and takes her over with a side headlock. Gail ends up on the apron, and drops down on the neck of Fox taking them to the floor. Gail catches her with a back elbow, and drops Katie off the apron with a clothesline. Fox hits a boot for two, and drives Alicia into the boot of Maryse before making the tag. Maryse delivers a backbreaker for two, and knocks Kelly from the apron. Gail smacks Maryse and makes the tag to Eve who is in with a pair of dropkicks for two. Maryse comes back with a forearm, but a backdrop attempt is stopped by Eve with a boot. Eve hits her somersault plauncha for two, and now everyone is in. The face divas chase the heels outside leaving just Eve and Maryse. Eve ends up on the top rope where she flips Maryse into a cross armbreaker for the submission at 2:57. Typical diva trainwreck, as it appears Eve is the next chosen one in the roulette wheel of diva challengers.
Winner: Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, & Eve Torres (Eve submits Maryse-Cross Armbreaker ¼*)

-Hornswoggle is with Criss Angel, and he is joined by the Bella Twins. They are big fans, and want to be his guest assistants for the night. He doesn’t use twins though, so they’re out. They ask to at least see a demonstration. He pulls a thread off one of their suits, and puts it in his mouth and pulls it out his eye. Jillian stops by, and the punchline is the same as it always is. She’s a terrible singer, and Criss makes her voice disappear. His best trick ever.

The Miz & The Big Show vs. John Morrison & R-Truth
Miz says last week on Smackdown R-Truth and John Morrison earned the right to face ShoMiz for the titles at Wrestlemania XXVI. Miz says not since Lex Luger and The British Bulldog joined forces to bore millions at Wrestlemania XI have a tag team with less credibility appeared at Wrestlemania. He says they’d rather face The Bushwhackers since they are a real team, and says shame on the locker room for not being able to come to their level. Miz says they are the last truly great tag team in the WWE. Not sure what the point is in having this match now, but whatever. Truth starts with Miz and Morrison quickly knocks Show off the apron with a baseball slide. A double clothesline sends Miz to the floor and they both take him out with a double baseball slide. Show attacks them on the floor and the ref throws the whole thing out at 0:38. Morrison and Truth are able to leave ShoMiz laying on the floor and sending Miz into the crowd. Morrison says they just showed how real they can get, and Truth says that’s what’s up. Not sure why they bothered with making this a “match” as this could have been accomplished just as easy in a promo.
Winner: No Contest

-John Cena joins Josh Mathews and he says what Batista said last week was completely correct. He hasn’t beat him. He says Batista has his number, but the only thing he can do now is go out there and beat him. Josh asks if Cena anticipates Batista getting involved in his match with Vince tonight. Cena says he’s counting on it.

-Criss Angel is joined by Evan Bourne who is excited to face William Regal for the final spot in Money in the Bank. Regal stops by with Skip Sheffield who wants to see one of Angel’s tricks. Angel has Regal write a number on a tablet and he’ll guess it. Skip thinks Regal has a good number, but Angel guesses it anyway. Sheffield tells “Coach Regal” he now owes him a Travis Tritt CD.

2 on 1 Handicap Match: Legacy vs. Randy Orton
Orton attacks Legacy during their entrance, and slides into the ring to wait for them. We go to commercial before the match can begin. The bell rings as we return from break and Cody Rhodes will start the match. Cody pushes Orton into the corner and gets the better of the exchange early with a series of boots. Orton turns it around and sends Rhodes into the ropes delivering a back elbow. Rhodes retreats to the corner where he tags in Dibiase. Dibiase attacks with a boot and a series of right hands. Orton comes back with a clothesline, and Dibaise retreats again to the corner. Cody tags back in and Orton again goes on offense firing Cody into the corner. Cody is able to get a right hand in, and Dibiase delivers a shot from the apron. Rhodes distracts the ref long enough for Dibiase to do some choking from the floor, and after a straight right hand Cody’s cover gets two. Orton comes back to backdrop a charging Rhodes to the floor, and as Dibiase tries to attack from behind Orton turns around. DIbiase bails to the floor as well and we head to break once more. Back from break with Orton still in control whipping Cody to the corner and delivering a clothesline. Cody comes back with a jawbreaker and he dumps Orton to the floor. Orton delivers a shot to Dibiase on the floor, but Ted comes back to drop Orton on the apron and deliver a dropkick. Cody goes outside to join him and he fires Orton into the ringsteps before firing him back inside. Cody drops a knee across the forehead of Orton, and tags in Dibaise. Dibiase locks in a rear chinlock, but Orton elbows his way free. Dibiase delivers the rebound clothesline for two, and fires Orton into the corner. Rhodes tags in and delivers a standing dropkick for two. Rhodes hits an elbow to the forehead, and a boot to the face. Rhodes connects with a kick to the ribs, and tags Dibiase back in as they fire Orton into the buckle. Dibiase chokes out Orton with the boot, and makes another quick tag to Cody. Cody tags Dibaise back in, but they’re attempted double team fails as Orton delivers a clothesline to Ted. Orton hits powerslams on both men sending Cody to the floor, and he follows with an inverted backbreaker on Ted. Orton sets up for the RKO, but Cody comes in to stop him. Orton kicks Cody to the floor, but that distraction allows Dibiase to attack from behind with Dream Street to pick up the victory at 11:48. After the match Cody delivers his finisher to Orton as well, and they both stand over Orton mocking his trademark pose. Still not exactly sure how the inevitable Wrestlemania match featuring these guys will go. A partner for Orton maybe?
Winners: Legacy (Dibiase pins Orton-Dream Street **)

-Mathews catches up with Batista who says Cena is just paranoid, and the match with him and Vince has nothing to do with him. He gives us his word as WWE Champion that he will not get involved in his match tonight, but if we see John he wants to tell him good luck as it looks like he needs a confidence boost.

-Stone Cold Steve Austin is your guest host next week.

-Triple H is out to address the attack at the hands of Sheamus last week. Triple H says he actually kind of respects what Sheamus did last week. He says if some guy had pinned him, and cost him his WWE Title while giving him a concussion and humiliating him he’d want to make a statement too. Sheamus wastes no time coming out to interrupt. Sheamus says he’ll make a statement of Triple H at Wrestlemania, but the question is does Triple H have the guts. Trips says that’s a good question, and says Sheamus has had a hell of a first year. He says Sheamus might have had the best first year in the history of the business (Brock says hi, Trips). HHH says he’s never been to the big dance though, and until he makes a name for himself at Wrestlemania he hasn’t done a thing. He says HHH was in the same place Sheamus was in a long time ago, and he was undefeated and was ready to pick a fight with the biggest guy at Wrestlemania. He says he got crushed, and he got knocked down and had to fight all the way back up. He says he then became the guy. The guy who everyone tried to make their name off of. He says a few succeeded. John Cena and Batista namely, but that’s the short list. He says the much longer list is the guys who failed, and says Sheamus has one shot at being immortal or being nothing. He says it’s a lot to think about, and before Sheamus thinks of taking the gamble he better be sure. Sheamus steps back, but goes for a cheap shot that HHH sees coming. Trips gets the better end of the exchange and clotheslines Sheamus to the floor. Sheamus comes back to pull trips out with him. Sheamus goes for the pump kick, but misses and HHH clotheslines him into the timekeepers station. The brawl continues on the floor with Sheamus firing HHH into the announce table and then back into the ring where HHH meets him with a spinebuster. Sheamus takes off then, but the match is now official.

-Santino stops by to see Criss Angel. He’s from a long line of Italian heroes like Ralph Macchio and Harry Houdini. Angel tells him that Houdini was actually Hungarian, but Santino thinks it’s a liberal media conspiracy. Angel then does a magic trick, as millions change to Spike TV.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Evan Bourne vs. William Regal (w. Skip Sheffield)
Christian is out with his NXT Rookie Heath Slater for commentary as we decide the final spot in the Money in the Bank ladder match. Regal attacks early with a series of European uppercuts, and hammers Bourne down in the corner. Bourne comes back with a series of kicks, but hits the ropes running into a forearm. Regal connects with a back elbow, and delivers a double underhook suplex for two. Regal hits an exploder suplex, and sets up for the knee trembler. Bourne comes up and catches him with a knee to the face, and that allows him to hit Air Bourne for the pin at 1:27. I love Regal, but I’m definitely much happier to see Bourne in that match.
Winner: Evan Bourne (Pinfall-Air Bourne *)

-Next week is Wrestlemania Rewind Night. John Cena vs. The Big Show, Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, & Triple H vs. Randy Orton. All of that plus Vince and Bret’s official contract signing presided over by Stone Cold Steve Austin.

John Cena vs. Mr. McMahon & Friends
Criss Angel is the guest ring announcer for this one which is the most signifigant thing he’s done on the program thus far. Vince tells Bret that he knows he’s up in Calgary watching, and also says that with apologies to the guest host Criss Angel this won’t be an illusion. This is now a handicap gauntlet match. Vince’s first partner is Vladimir Kozlov. Kozlov runs out and delivers a powerslam before connecting with a series of headbutts to the chest. Kozlov hits the Iron Curtain, and tags in Vince. He covers for a two count, and calls out his next partner which is Drew McIntyre. McIntrye delivers his finisher and McMahon tags in again covering for a two count. Vince calls out his next partner which is Jack Swagger which sends us to break. We return with Cena now in control calling for the five knuckle shuffle on Swagger which connects. Swagger counters the Attitude Adjustment attempt, and fires Cena into the corner. Swagger connects with a running powerslam, and hits a Vader Bomb. A second Vader Bomb connects, and Vince tags in. Vince covers for another two count, and calls for his next partner Mark Henry. Henry looks at Cena, and looks at Vince somewhat conflicted before connecting with the World’s Strongest Slam. Vince tags in again and gets yet another two count. Vince is frustrated, and goes outside to get the ring bell. Vince announces that this is now a no disqualification handicap match. Henry tries to reason with Vince not to do it, so Vince gives Mark the bell and tells him to do it instead. Henry will have none of that and throws the bell out. Batista runs out and spears Henry before kicking him to the floor. Kofi Kingston runs out to the aid of Cena hammering Batista to the corner and hopping to the top rope for a series of punches. All that earns him is a Batista Bomb sending him back to the floor. Cena then fights back on Batista with a series of punches and a clothesline. Cena turns his attention to Vince who still holds the bell before dropping it. Vince begs but Cena will hear none of it picking him up for the Attitude Adjustment. Batista makes the save with a spear, and connects with a Batista Bomb. That finally is enough for Vince to pick up the pin at 11:21. Dave stands over a fallen Cena and asks for the spotlight as he stands tall. More angle than match, but what did you expect? Good finish.
Winner: Mr. McMahon & Friends (Vince pins Cena-Batista Bomb **1/2)