411’s WWE Raw Report 03.22.10

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-Live from the HP Pavillion in San Jose, CA

-Hosted by Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler

-Shawn Michaels is out for a promo to kick things off, and it should be noted we have white ring ropes tonight. Shawn says he’s got a feeling, and it’s the same feeling he had back in January of 1992 right before he threw Marty Janetty threw the barber shop window. The same feeling he had in March of 1996 when he beat Bret Hart for the WWE Championship, and it’s the same feeling he had last week right before he superkicked Taker. It is the feeling that he can do absolutely anything, and by anything he means beating The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. He says he needs to hand it to the company, and it may be coincidence, but there is a new Shawn Michaels DVD out called “My Journey” right before he puts his career on the line. Shawn says we need to clear off more room on the DVD shelf because he’s about ready to give us volume two. He says this isn’t the end, but it’s the beginning. He will no longer be known as the showstopper, icon, main event, HBK, and the co-founder of DX, and he may even cease to be known as Shawn Michaels. He will however be known forever as the man who ended The Undertaker’s undefeated Wrestlemania streak. The lights go out and as you’re expecting The Undertaker’s dong to make an appearance instead we get a career retrospective of Shawn’s career with an ominious message at the end from Taker saying Shawn’s career will rest in peace. It ends with a graphic reading “Shawn Michaels Career 1985-2010.” Shawn looks disgusted but slowly gets a smirk, and says he appreciates Taker’s little attempt to intimidate him but if he wants to do it he should come out and do it to his face. Instead of Taker we get MLB on FOX music? Here comes Pete Rose, and he wants to be the first to wish to Shawn luck at Wrestlemania. It should be noted Pete sounds like he started hitting the scotch about 11 this morning. Pete wants Shawn to wrestle Undertaker’s brother Kane, and the same stipulations will apply as at Wrestlemania. He wants Shawn to help him get revenge for all the things Kane has done to him over the years. Shawn says he’ll get revenge for Pete, and revenge for himself. Cole thankfully explains that it is No DQ or Count Out and not Shawn’s career as far as those stipulations go.

-We get a video package of the Batista/Cena match from Summerslam 2008, and we hype Batista and Cena’s “Final Face Off” for later tonight.

The Miz (w. The Big Show) vs. John Morrison (w. R-Truth)
Show and Truth join Cole and Lawler on commentary for this one, as the former In-Crowd faces off. Morrison wrestles Miz to his back with a little amateur action early, and grabs a front facelock backing him into the corner. The ropes are now red again for what it’s worth. They trade smacks in the middle, and Morrison boots Miz to the floor. Morrison goes outside with a spin kick from the apron, and delivers an Asai Moonsault sending us to break. We return from break with Miz now in control having Morrison locked in a rear chinlock. Morrison tries to elbow free, but gets taken down to the mat by the hair. Morrison dodges a boot and rolls up Miz for two, but Miz answers with another boot to regain control. Miz goes back to the chinlock, but Morrison comes free with a series of right hands. Morrison pounds Miz in the corner, but runs into a back elbow. Miz charges into a flapjack from Morrison, who follows that up with a running knee for two. Morrison goes to the top rope, but gets crotched by Miz who heads up after him. Miz goes for a superplex, but Morrison blocks it and hammers away before delivering a sunset flip off the top rope. That sets up Morrison for Starship Pain which connects for the win at 8:30. After the match Show shoves down truth, but eats a baseball slide from Morrison. He goes after them but the faces bail for safety?
Winner: John Morrison (Pinfall-Starship Pain **1/2)

-Triple H is getting ready in the locker room when Randy Orton stops by, and he wants to know what makes Orton thinks he wants to talk to him. He says if he messes with him he’ll drop him, and Orton says he’ll keep that in mind but reminds Trips he still has to make it to Wrestlemania.

-More Cena/Batista hype this time with a recap of the events at Elimination Chamber

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Vladimir Kozlov
Jack Swagger joins us on commentary, and he openly admits he wants Kofi to win as he wants no part of Vladimir. Kozlov takes down Kofi who slides to the floor and drops Vlad on the top rope. Kofi comes back in and ducks a clothesline only to run into a battering ram headbutt. Kozlov delivers a belly to belly throw for two, and picks him up in a Canadian backbreaker submission. Kofi slides down the back and hits the ropes only to get caught by Vlad who delivers a fallaway slam. Vlad throws Kofi across the top rope and delivers a series of headbutts, but an attempted powerslam is countered into a DDT. Kofi connects with Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere to win at 2:20. Pretty much a nothing match as it appears they realized at the last minute “oh shit Kofi needs a match.”
Winner: Kofi Kingston (Pinfall-Trouble in Paradise *)

-Legacy is out for a word before the handicap match. Rhodes says this Sunday at Wrestlemania it will Ted and himself in a triple threat match, and it will be every man for himself but he’ll get back to that in a second. He says eighteen months of abuse Ted and himself are finally free. He says everyone thinks Orton took them under his wing, and made them superstars but when you look at what they accomplished they would have been superstars no matter what. He says the biggest misconception is that they needed Randy Orton, but the truth is Orton needed them. Dibiase says he doesn’t care which one of them wins as long as Orton loses, and then his arrogance and ignorance will be exposed. Rhodes says people used to say Orton was the future of the WWE, but he has a shocking revelation. He’s six years younger than Randy Orton, and three years younger than Ted. Dibaise says he knows they’re not liked, and he doesn’t blame us for that. Jealousy is just human nature, and its not our fault that they weren’t born into a life of luxury like him and Cody. He says the point is the fans don’t respect them, and neither does Orton but this time next week we will. Rhodes says that is because he is going to be the winner, and Dibiase shoots him a dirty look.

3 on 2 Handicap Match: Legacy & Sheamus vs. Triple H & Randy Orton
Trips starts things off with Cody after teasing a Sheamus showdown early. HHH hammers on Rhodes in the corner, and whips him in delivering a running clothesline. HHH tries for another corner charge, but runs into a boot and Dibiase tags in. HHH takes control and teases a tag with Orton, but his hesitation costs him and Dibiase gives him a right hand. HHH hits the ropes and delivers a facebuster, before knocking Sheamus from the apron with a right hand. Dibiase comes back with a standing dropkick, and Sheamus then pulls HHH to the floor and throws him into the barricade. Sheamus tags in legally, and he and HHH trade right hands before Sheamus gains control with a clothesline. Sheamus backs into the heel corner and tags in Dibiase who stomps HHH several times before making the tag to Rhodes. A series of quick tags and double teams in the heel corner result. Rhodes finally ends up in the middle with HHH, and they trade right hands with Cody delivering Goldust’s signature right hand from his back. HHH comes back with a spinebuster, and makes the tag to Orton. Rhodes tags Sheamus who gets a powerslam from Orton. Orton takes out everyone on the hot tag as the crowd goes batshit for everything he does. Orton hits the inverted backbreaker on Sheamus, and calls for the RKO but sees Rhodes trying to sneak in. Orton goes for the hangman’s DDT, but Sheamus recovers and delivers the pump kick for the win at 5:01. After the match Sheamus goes for the pump kick on HHH, but he ducks it and clotheslines Sheamus to the floor.
Winners: Legacy & Sheamus (Sheamus pins Orton-Pump Kick **1/2)

-More Cena/Batista hype as we go back to the night after Elimination Chamber when Dave got himself intentionally disqualified to set the match up, and followed up with a brutal beatdown of Cena.

-We get a recap of the Bret/Vince contract signing from last week, and Bret revealing that he was never injured. That leads to Bret coming out for a promo. Bret says when he came back to the WWE a couple months ago he never believed that he’d get another shot to go to Wrestlemania. Bret says it’s the greatest show on earth, and it’s a chance he’s been waiting for a long time. Twelve years ago he left the WWE and it left a bad taste in his mouth, but now he can leave on a good note. He says he got just what he wanted, and that’s a match with Vince McMahon. He says for years he heard Vince say “Bret screwed Bret” and he’s so sick of hearing that, but starting next week all you’re going to hear is “Bret beat Vince.” Last week Vince referred to his family as a bunch of dysfunctional derelicts, but he says next week there will be more dysfunctional Hart’s in Phoenix than you can shake a stick at. He warns Vince that with all the Harts roaming around he better lay low, because he’d hate to see what his sisters would do to him if they got their hands on him. He says Vince has run half his family out of the WWE, but the Harts will be at Wrestlemania in full force. He says Shawn said good things will happen if Bret returned to WWE, and next week good things will happen when he gets his hands around Vince’s neck. He’s going to give the fans what they’ve been waiting for. He says Wrestlemania has always been special for him, and thinks back to his matches with Austin, Shawn, Piper, Owen, and Yokozuna. He wants to make one promise to his fans, and that’s that at Wrestlemania 26 it will be the best there Is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. Vince comes out and says this Sunday one way or another he’s screwed.

-Shawn is heading to the ring, and Pete Rose pops out to wish him luck.

No Disqualifation or Count Out Match: Shawn Michaels vs. Kane
Shawn ducks a right hand and delivers a series of chops, but hits the ropes running into a big boot from Kane. Kane fires Shawn to the corner and hammers him down before delivering a snap mare. Kane delivers a low dropkick to the face for two, and follows up with a vertical suplex for another near fall. Kane grabs a rear chinlock, and follows up with a corner clothesline. Shawn comes back with a series of chops in the corner, but an Irish Whip attempt is reversed by Kane who hits a side slam for two. Kane dives off the top rope with a clothesline, but Shawn ducks and locks in a crossface. Kane is able to reach the ropes to break the hold, and then goes for a chokeslam. Shawn elbows out, and locks in an ankle lock! Kane is again able to reach the ropes to break, so Shawn hits an inverted atomic drop and another pair of chops. Shawn delivers a flying forearm off the ropes, and nips up before heading to the top for the vintage Shawn elbow drop. Shawn tunes up the band, but the lights go out and we have an appearance from Undertaker’s Dong! When the lights come back on Taker is in the ring and Kane is nowhere to be found. Taker delivers a chokeslam, and again the lights go out. When they come back now Kane is in the ring and he covers but gets only two. Kane sets up for the chokeslam, but Shawn slides down the back and hits Sweet Chin Music to finish at 5:27. LOVED how this match sets up the encounter on Sunday. Shawn trying new submission moves which teases what we might see, and then the neat finish. Good stuff all around. Can’t wait for this match.
Winner: Shawn Michaels (Pinfall-Sweet Chin Music ***)

-Bob Uecker is the final inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame. Inducting Bob will be the chairman of NBC sports Dick Ebersol.

-Christian has a word with Pete Rose, who brags about having three more World Series rings than the San Francisco Giants. When returning to his locker room Kane is waiting for him.

Eve Torres, Gail Kim, & Beth Phoenix (w. Kelly Kelly & Mickie James) vs. Layla, Michelle McCool, & Maryse (w. Alicia Fox & Vickie Guerrero)
McCool starts things off with Gail who hits a hurracanrana off the bat. Gail delivers a shoulderblock in the corner, and a running clothesline for two. Gail goes for Eat Defeat, but Layla offers a distraction. Gail goes for the jackknife cover, but McCool counters into the Faith Breaker for the pin at 0:57. Thankfully it was short, but what exactly was the point of doing a six person tag?
Winners: Layla, Michelle McCool, & Maryse (McCool pins Layla-Faith Breaker DUD)

-A final Cena/Batista hype package is shown this time the events of last week. Dave is walking to the ring with security as we head to break.

-Batista is out for his showdown with Cena, and channels his inner Razor Ramon mocking the fans for booing him and telling them to “say hello to the bad guy.” He says we’re going to have to get used to him being the WWE Champion, and John Cena is going to lose at Wrestlemania. Batista says John Cena can’t beat him, he’s never beat him, and he can’t beat him. He says he’ll say it again and again until we get it through our thick heads. When him and Cena are in the same ring bad things happen to him. That won’t change on Sunday, as it will be the same old story. He says he gets it. We all love John Cena, because he comes out here and runs his mouth and gives us lip service. This is followed by a hilarious Cena impression, and says we hate him because he speaks the truth and tells it like it is. He says we mean nothing to him, as he’s here to win titles and make money. When he looks at us he doesn’t see fans, or even people, but he sees money. He says with some of them he sees a lot of dollar signs as there are a lot of fat people in the audience and he knows we paid for two seats. He says we hate him for his honesty, but we all pay to see him. He thanks us for our money, and says we pay to see him because he’s special and they pay to see greatness. Something the fans will never be. Batista says Cena will disappoint us on Sunday at Wrestlemania again, and that’s all he’s going to say. He’s done talking. He knows we want John Cena to come out here and run his mouth giving us a bunch of false hope. That brings out Cena who says he’s already disappointed these people, and let them down. He says that was the second Batista became WWE Champion. A small group of tools in the crowd starts up with a “You Can’t Wrestle” chant which really kind of kills the promo. Cena says he’s lost confidence in himself, and the people have lost confidence in him. He says every week Batista comes out and tells the people how pathetic they are, and how fabulous he is. He says every week he’s tried to stop him, and every week he’s failed. He says he didn’t see it coming, and now he doesn’t know if he can stop it. He says he’s been in a lot of bad spots in his career, but he’s always given people a chance to believe. Cena says no matter what the situation he always believed himself that he was in the fight. He says after all that has happened he doesn’t know if all the fight in the world is going to give him a chance. Batista says Cena is already beaten, and that proves he’s just like the fans. A common loser. Cena says after all the crap that comes out of his mouth that’s the first thing that made any sense. Batista says that he’s a loser, but Cena says its that he’s like the people. He asks if he knows how foolish he looks and sounds, and asks who he thinks he is. He says he was paid a lot of money to take people out, but Cena is proof positive he’s not very good at his job. Batista takes exception, but Cena says if he was good at his job Batista wouldn’t be surrounded by security and Cena wouldn’t be standing there. Cena says he was shook, but now that he looks in Dave’s eyes he doesn’t see The Animal he just sees Dave Batista. Dave Batista can be beat, and Dave Batista will be beat. Sunday at Wrestlemania Cena is taking back the WWE Championship, and if Batista isn’t going to make a move he’s done talking. Cena turns his back, but Dave screams at him and goes through security. Cena gets a right hand the brawl is on. Security keeps them apart, and Dave heads to the back.