411’s WWE Raw Report 05.19.03

411 WWE Raw Report 05.19.03
Live from Greenville, South Carolina
Done EXCLUSIVELY for 411Mania by Jacob Ziegler

Well PK could not cover tonight because he is being held down by the man. I know they are some big shoes to fill, and I just hope I’m doing alright in my periodic Raw reporting.

Stone Cold’s music hits, and the first thing he talks about is Bischoff puking last night on pay-per-view. Then he moves forward to next month’s Raw-only PPV, Bad Blood. Then Austin moves on to the attempted vehicular assault on Goldberg. Austin promises to find the perpetrator and make them face Goldberg tonight. Austin then introduces Triple H. Austin calls Triple H’s music stupid. Then he works in his new catchphrase about trying not to lose his composure. Austin then makes HHH take his sunglasses off. Austin says HHH got his ass whipped last night. Austin says HHH does not deserve to have the title. Austin says HHH will wrestle tonight. HHH calls Austin a drunk; drunk with power. HHH reiterates that he is still the World Heavyweight Champion. HHH says he has some stroke. Crowd chants “Austin.” HHH refuses to wrestle tonight. Austin says HHH can pick his own opponent, as long as that man is a former World Champion. Kane, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, and Kevin Nash are the options. HHH says he will wrestle his good buddy Ric Flair. HHH says “that’s the bottom line because The Game said so.” Flair is very confused.

The Stacker 2 Burn of the Night is the return of the Dudley Boyz last week.

JR and King announce a poll on wwe.com to see who we think ran down Goldberg last week.

The Dudley Boyz music hits and they are on their way out.

MATCH #1: The Dudley Boyz vs. 3-Minute Warning

JR promises an intense, physical matchup. After a brawl, D-Von gets lowbridged by Jamal to the outside of the ring. Rosey hits a revolving legdrop, and a splash. Tag to Jamal, double headbutt. Big bodyslam, and Jamal goes up and hits a kneedrop. Cover gets two. Jamal nails Bubba to the outside. Cover but ref is distracted with Bubba. D-Von tries to fight back, but gets dropped by Jamal. Another bodyslam and up to the ropes again. Vader bomb attempt, but D-Von gets his knees up. D-Von makes the hot tag and Bubba is a houseafire. Bubba with a crossbody off the second rope gets two. Backbodydrop on Jamal and neckbreaker to Rosey. Count interrupted by Jamal. Bubba does his Dusty Rhodes impression. Clotheslines and Bubba is down, but only for two. Double suplex to Jamal (I think), and set up the “wattsup” headbutt. Bubba asks for tables. Table gets dropkicked back into D-Von. Jamal hits a big samoan drop on Bubba. Rico puts the table in the ring, and Jamal scales the top rope. D-Von moves and Jamal goes through a table. Bubba comes back in, 3D on Rosey, and the Dudley Boyz get the duke.
WINNERS – The Dudley Boyz

Rico has the microphone, and tells 3MW that he can’t handle this anymore. Rico is leaving 3-Minute Warning, and the old “Billy & Chuck” music plays.

Ad for Classy Freddie Blassie’s new book.

Raw is brought to us by Stacker 2, Milky Way, and 1-800-CALLATT.

Austin and Bischoff are in their office, and Bischoff looks sick still. Bischoff ends up puking again, all over his own portrait. Austin calls Bischoff “a good kid.”

Austin runs into Nash, who is pissed. Austin calls Nash the number one contender. Austin says Nash can have the winner of the HHH/Flair match.

Flair and HHH are talking about the match later, and Flair doesn’t seem to understand why HHH picked him, he’s excited about the match. HHH explains to Flair why he picked him, “to stick it up Austin’s ass.” HHH then tells Flair to lay down and let HHH pin him.

JR and King remind us about Goldberg’s impending match tonight.

Ad for WWE Live Events coming up.

Jericho’s music hits, and the Highlight Reel is beginning. Jericho debuts the Jeritron 5000. Jericho wants to talk about the man who stabbed him in the back last night. We see the footage of Christian eliminating Jericho from the battle royal last night. That leads Jericho to introducing his guest for the week, the new Intercontinental Champion Christian. Wow, Christian got a haircut! Jericho begins to lecture Christian about what he did last night. Jericho says the first thing that came to mind was “I would have done the exact same thing.” Jericho then quotes Swingers. Christian says he could not have done it without all of his loyal fans. Christian says “my heart beats for me peeps.” Christian says to forget about Clay and Rueben, he is the real American idol, to which Jericho points out that Christian is not even American. Then we see the footage of Christian cheating to win last night. Christian says that Booker T is a good kid with a good future, but is not championship material. Jericho says Booker’s haircut looks like a pineapple. Christian gloats some more. Christian tries to get the fans to say “Christian rules.” RVD’s music hits, and he’s on his way out. RVD gets a decent pop. RVD calls Christian’s catch phrase weak. RVD does a little spontaneous poetry, enticing the crowd to chant “Christian sucks.” RVD says the people will respect a fighting champion. RVD challenges Christian to a match tonight. Christian and Jericho double-team RVD, and Kane comes lumbering out, and we have a pier-4 brawl. Austin comes on the Titan Tron, says he appreciates how Christian won the IC title. Austin makes a World Tag Team Title match, for right now.

MATCH #2: Rob Van Dam & Kane vs. Chris Jericho & Christian, for the World Tag Team Championships

We come back in progress, and RVD and Jericho are going at it. RVD hits the stepover heel kick for two. Jericho gains control and chokes RVD. RVD gets a split-legged moonsault to the back for two. Jericho tags Christian, who gets kicked by RVD. Kane comes in and stomps away on Christian. Kane with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. Kane hurls Christian over the top rope, then tosses Jericho into Christian. Kane then whips RVD into a sommersault plancha onto both men. Sidewalk slam by Kane, and RVD comes in and hits a legdrop and rolling thunder for a two count. RVD goes for a monkey flip, but Christian holds Jericho back, and Jericho hits a dropkick. Christian comes in and stomps on RVD. Snap mare into a chinlock by Christian. RVD fights back, and hits the reverse DDT/backbreaker. Jericho back in and stomps on RVD, and chokes him into the middle rope. Jericho smashes RVD into the ropes. Arrogant cover! Jericho knocks down RVD and Christian is back in. Powerslam by Christian. Blatant choke by Christian, and Y2J is back in the ring. Snap mare and chinlock again. Jericho goes for the Walls, but RVD counters to an inside cradle. RVD fights back and makes the hot tag to Kane. Kane cleans house. Big choke on Christian, and Kane misses an elbowdrop. Kane sits up and grabs Christian around the throat. Heel miscommunication leads to a sideslam by Kane for a 2-count. Kane goes up top and hits a clothesline for two. RVD comes in and knocks Jericho out of the ring. Kane preps for the chokeslam, and RVD goes up, but Jericho pushes RVD off the top. Kane hits a powerslam, and goes for a chokeslam on Christian. Low blow and Lionsault on Kane gets only two. Y2J and Christian grab chairs. Jericho pushes the ref for the DQ.
WINNERS, by DQ and STILL champs: Kane & RVD

Booker T comes out and cleans house. Christian and Y2J bail. Christian gets thrown back in, but gets hit with a side kick. Booker then does the spinarooni to a huge pop.

Shawn Michaels comes in to Flair’s dressing room, and pleads with him to not lay down for HHH. Flair asks Shawn if he really believes he can beat HHH. Shawn asks Flair if he still believes in himself. Shawn says he sure does.

Rodney Mack and Theodore Long are on their way out. Long says that the white boy competition has been a little inexperienced. Long issues a 5-minute challenge to any established WWE superstar, white boy of course. Spike Dudley makes his way out.

MATCH #3: Rodney Mack vs. Spike Dudley

Mack overpowers Spike to start, and stomps away. Nice headscissors by Spike. Shoulderblock by Mack. Forearms to the back of the head by Mack. Fireman carry by Mack, as Spike is in pain. Suplex by Mack gets a two count. Rodney Mack appears to be humping Spike Dudley. Mack goes flying to the outside of the ring when Spike ducks a charge. Spike with a huge leap over the top rope onto Mack. Mack catches Spike jumping off the top rope, but Spike rolls up Mack. We’re at about the 2-minute mark. Sunset flip by Spike for a 2-count. Spike with a headbutt to the midsection, and an inside cradle gets two. Powerslam by Mack, and we have less than a minute left. Cobra clutch by Mack, called the “black out” by Long. Spike is going for the ropes, and the crowd is into it. Spike punches Mack in the face, trying to break the hold. Crowd is going nuts, and Spike taps out with about 2 seconds to go. Wow, crowd was WAY into Spike.
WINNER – Rodney Mack

WWE Rewind is Trish’s horrific bump from last night.

JR and King note that Trish is not here tonight, and then discuss the Flair/HHH main event.

Bischoff has his head in his hands and Austin comes in with a megaphone. Then Austin bangs on a trash can lid, just to annoy Bischoff. Austin tells Bischoff the key to a hangover is female entertainment. Austin calls in Moolah and Mae. Bischoff kicks them out and is pissed.

Flair is show getting ready for the match, as only Flair can.

La Resistance is on their way out.

MATCH #4: La Resistance vs. Scott Steiner & Test, with Stacy Keibler

Rematch from last night, great. Crowd chants USA. La Resistance attacks while Steiner and Test argue. Belly-to-belly by Steiner to Dupree. Test and Greiner are in the ring. Steiner gets thrown into the steps, and Stacy goes to check on him. The Frenchmen double team Test. Test fights back with a big boot, but gets shoved into Steiner, and Greiner pins Test with a rollup.
WINNERS – La Resistance

Steiner and Test shove each other down, and Stacy gets in between them. Steiner pulls Stacy away from Test, and they play tug-of-war with Stacy. Stacy gets fed up and leaves the ring with neither man.

Austin goes into the interrogation room and makes sure no one can see in.

The results of the “who hit Goldberg” poll are shown. Most fans think it was The Rock.

Austin is interrogating Lance Storm. Storm says nothing. Austin says he has ways of making Lance talk. Storm claims the accelerator was stuck, and that it was an accident. Storm slips and says it wasn’t even his idea. Storm will now face Goldberg.

Triple H is getting taped up for the big match. Flair comes in and tells HHH he needs to talk to him. Flair cuts an amazingly awesome promo on HHH. Wow, Flair is too awesome. HHH is pissed.

We come back to Goldberg’s music playing, and he is on his way out.

MATCH #5: Lance Storm vs. Goldberg

Goldberg attacks right away. Big powerslam on Storm. Pumphandle/fallaway slam by Goldberg, and then a huge spear on Storm. Storm is going up for the jackhammer, and it connects for the 1-2-3. Wow, great booking.
WINNER – Goldberg

Goldberg gets the microphone, and says they’re going to play a game of Q&A. Goldberg wants to know who put Storm up to running him over. Goldberg chokes Storm nastily. Storm names Jericho as the man who “set him up.”

Triple H vs. Ric Flair is next.

Coach is with Jericho, and Coach tells Jericho what Storm just said. Y2J admits it. He says next week he will run Goldberg down face to face next week, as Goldberg will be his guest on the highlight reel.

Flair’s music hits.

MATCH #6: Ric Flair vs. Triple H for the World Heavyweight Title

JR’s overselling of his admiration for Flair totally gives away the fact that he will not be winning. 10:58 and the match is just starting. Flair feigns a handshake and struts. Flair pokes HHH in the eyes, and goes for the knife edge chops. Back elbow by HHH. HHH goes for a suplex, but his ribs are too hurt. Flair tosses HHH to the outside and goes after him. Suplex on the floor by Flair. Flair chops away again. Back in the ring and a long vertical suplex by Flair. Cover gets two. Chops by Flair, and HHH counters with a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER. HHH hammers on Flair in the corner. Flair fights back with chops. Crowd is WAY into Flair. Flair completes the Flair flip and hits an axhandle off the top rope. Flair with more punches and chops. Flair goes after the knees, and goes for the figure-four, and locks it on as the crowd goes nuts. HHH makes it to the ropes, and the crowd is pissed. Flair goes right back to the leg. Flair continues to fight back with chops. HHH counters with the MAIN EVENT SLEEPER, and referee Nick Patrick takes a bump. HHH goes for the belt, but misses and Flair thumbs HHH in the eyes, and hits a low blow. Flair then connects with a belt shot. HHH barely kicks out, and the crowd is going crazy. HHH counters another figure-four attempt and goes for the pedigree, but Nature Boy reverses into a back body drop. HHH back drops Flair. HHH hits the pedigree out of nowhere, and gets the 3.
WINNER, and STILL Champion – Triple H

Nash is on his way out, and HHH runs away. HHH falls down on the ramp, and Austin is out. He congratulates Flair and tells HHH he has Nash in Houston Texas on June 15 at Bad Blood, in a hell in a cell match. Oh lord.

Better than the last few weeks, but that’s not saying much. Flair rules. PK should be back next week, so good journey everyone!