411’s WWE Raw Report 12.01.03

411’s WWE Raw Report 11.24.03
Live from Sacramento, Cali
Announcers are JR & The King
Report done *EXCLUSIVELY* for 411MANIA by PK

Bischoff on the screen, announces a Handicap Main Event with HBK & RVD teaming up to face Orton, Batista & Kane. WTF?!?

Intro…

Goldberg comes out. He says that he sick of being jumped from behind, and calls for them to come out now to fight face to face. This brings out Bischoff. He says that if Goldberg keeps trying to create chaos, he will not hesitate to fire him. He then calls Raw the Eric Bischoff Show. He says no one can change that. This brings out MICK FOLEY! Foley is in a suit, and gets in the ring. He says that since Vince seems to be suffering from some traumatic stress, the board of directors have hired him to be an outside consultant to change the show as he seems fit. He then changes the main event, putting Goldberg on the face side. He then says that another change that needs to be changed, is that Stone Cold needs to be back on RAW. So, he as a petition for everyone to sign, and hands it off to Lillian to send into the crowd. Oh, and finally, after tons of research, he has found only one other major thing wrong with RAW, Bischoff! So, he has taken his powers as an Outside Consultant to appoint a new Co-GM of RAW…him!

Commercials.

Bischoff talking to Coach about Foley. He says that he is going to call Linda McMahon to get to the bottom of it. She hangs up on him.

The Dudley Boyz (c) vs. Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak – World Tag Team Titles
Cade and Bubba start. Bubba hammers down Cade, Jindrak in, D’Von in. D’Von with a big time vertical suplex for 2. Jindrak off the ropes, huge clothesline for 2. Cade in, roll up, with a handful of pants for 2. D’Von didn’t like the cheating, gets in Cade’s face, and rolls him up with a handful of tights for the duke.
Winners – Dudz

Cade on the mic, says that D’Von cheated, and they demand a rematch.

Snow and Coach agreeing with Cade, and Foley strolls up. Foley says that Coach will wrestle King tonight, if Coach loses he is fired, and Snow is banned from ringside.

Commercials.

Booker T vs. Test (w/ Stacy)
Test won’t let Stacy get in the ring to show her ass, but Booker jumps Test. Test locks Booker up in a bear hug, but Booker fights out only to get KOed with a clothesline. Booker misses a leg lariat, Test goes for a Meltdown, Booker slide out, goes for a scissors, Test dodges it, nails the Meltdown. Test uses the ropes to make the pin, but Stacy pushes his legs off. Test yells at Stacy, but Stacy slaps him, and he turns right into a Scissors Kick, pinfall.
Winner – Booker T

Booker gets Stacy in the ring, and has her do a Legs-a-rooni. Mark Henry storms out and nails Booker with 2 World’s Strongest Slams.

Trish and Lita talking. Lita gives Trish a Jericho figure (Unlimited Series 3). Trish says that last week with Jericho was a good time, they just talked about their feelings and such. Trish then shows a gift she has for Jericho, a Canadian Hockey Jersey with his name on the back, and she says that she is giving up the goods tonight.

Commercials.

They show highlights from Batista whooping HBK last week.

Terri with Orton and Batista. Batista says that he is disappointed that he didn’t separate his head from his shoulders. He also says that he will put HBK out of his misery at Armageddon.

BPP’s music hits, and he comes out with Test and Stacy. BPP says that even though Stacy is Test’s property, they share everything. So, they think that Stacy needs a reminder of what her job is. So, they want her to kiss both of their asses. Foley comes out before she does, and has her come to the entrance way to consult him. Foley says that it is disgusting how Test and Steiner treat Stacy. So, he wants to change that. Test wonders how, since it is in his contract that Stacy is his property. Foley says that it was in his contract, because he is now fired. Steiner then says that they are tag partners, and Test can’t be fired. So, Foley fires Steiner! HAHA.

Commercials.

Test and BPP complaining to Bischoff, and Bischoff says that he will call Vince. They he says that he will fix this himself.

Val Venis & Lance Storm (w/ Females) vs. La Resistance
Foley is at the announce table, says that he is thinking about making a Tag Team Turmoil match at Armageddon. I blinked, and Storm pinned one of La Rez.
Winners – Venis/Storm

Foley on the mic, and says that everyone wants to cheer La Rez, but they need to do one thing, and Foley recites The Pledge of Allegiance. Conway mumbles it, but Dupree doesn’t know it. So, Foley FIRES THEM!! HAHA!

Trish and Jericho getting ready for their match.

Commercials.

Trish Stratus & Chris Jericho vs. Miss Jackie & Rico
Rico jumps Trish, and Jericho beats the hell out of him. Rico fires back, nails a mule kick for 2. Rico pummels Jericho in the corner. Jericho rolls through, goes for The Walls, but Rico gets to the ropes. Jackie and Trish are in. Jackie fires away, Rico gets in and they nail a double suplex. Jackie locks a form of the Dragon Sleeper on Trish, Trish fights out, but Jackie nails a neckbreaker. Jackie off the ropes, Trish with a spinbuster, Jericho and Rico in. Jericho is on fire, enzaguri gets 2. Jericho charges, but Rico nails a kick to the gut, then Rico leaps off the 2nd rope and kicks Jericho upside his head. Rico goes off the top rope, but gets a fist to the gut from Jericho. Jericho nails a bulldog, but Rico dodges the Lionsault. Jackie to the top rope, but Jericho hits the ropes and she falls. Jericho dumps Rico to the outside, Trish comes in and nails the StratuSphere and the StratusFaction on Jackie to win. They walk out all cuddly.
Winners – Trish/Jericho

Bischoff complaining to someone about Foley…it’s Kane. He tells Kane the rumor is that Foley is looking to strip Kane of his title shot at Armageddon.

Commercials.

Boot of the Week – Matt slamming the door in Lita’s cage match last week.

Matt Hardy vs. Christian (w/ Lita)
Lita looks extra cute tonight. Back and forth action to start. Matt controls the match, locks on an abdominal stretch, and follows it with his 2nd rope leg drop for 2. Matt goes for the ToF, Christian shoves off, but Matt nails the Side Effect for 2. Matt goes out and confronts Matt. Christian then grabs him and they brawl. Christian nails a gutbuster for 2. Christian goes for an Unprettier, but Molly comes out and runs Lita into the ringsteps, and Christian is distracted, Matt rolls him up.
Winner – Matt Hardy

Commercials.

Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. Jonathan Coachman
King makes it quick, suplex, and a fist drop for the pin. Coach is fired.
Winner – King

They sing him out. Na Na Na Na…Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye.

Commercials.

Armageddon Card:

HHH vs. Kane vs. Goldberg – World Title
Batista vs. HBK
Orton vs. RVD – IC Title
Booker T vs. Mark Henry
Tag Team Turmoil: Dudleyz vs. Cade/Jindrak vs. Rosie/Hurricane vs. Storm/Venis

Jericho and Christian talking. Christian thinks the deal is done, and he will get some from Lita. Jericho then says big deal, he has Trish. Jericho: “Didn’t you hear her, tonight is the night, and I will win the bet.” WHOA! It’s a bet. Christian tosses another $1 CND in. HAHA. They laugh about it. They pan out, and Trish is on the other side of the wall with her jersey for Jericho…crying.

Commercials.

WWE Rewind – Kane interfering in HHH/Goldberg last week.

Kane, Batista, & Randy Orton (w/ Flair) vs. Shawn Michaels, RVD, & Goldberg
Orton and RVD start, tie up, and RVD takes Orton down. Tie up again, RVD to the back, Orton fights out, sends RVD to the corner, RVD nails a springboard Crossbody. RVD then nails a sweep kick, standing moonsault for 2. RVD with a stepover enzaguri, goes for a 5*, but Orton rolls out of the ring. RVD nails a Crossbody on the floor and tosses Orton back in. RVD leaps over the top rope with a leg drop for 2. Batista charges in and beheads RVD. Orton tags in Batista. Batista pummels away in the corner on RVD. Batista goes to splash RVD, RVD dodges it, gets to HBK. HBK in, nails a diving forearm on Batista, then takes out Kane and Orton. HBK nails Batista with a top rope elbow drop. HBK tunes up, but Flair distracts him, and HBK takes him off the apron, and Goldberg beats down Flair. HBK is watching, and turns around into a Kane chokeslam. They cut to…

Commercials.

We come back and Kane is pummeling HBK. Kane goes for another choke slam, but HBK elbows out. Batista in, locks on a sleeper, but HBK fights out, only to have Batista grab him by the throat, and hold him up high. HBK thumbs Batista to the eye, and nails a low blow with the refs back turned. Both men tag, Orton and Goldberg in. Goldberg unloads. Goldberg dumps Batista, then holds Orton up high in a military press, and nails a powerslam out of it. Goldberg wants Kane. They go toe to toe, and Goldberg makes Kane his bitch…way to bury Kane guys. Kane fights back, big boot on Goldberg, knocks off HBK and RVD, then turns around into a spear from Goldberg. Goldberg goes for a Jackhammer, but Orton and Batista beats down Goldberg. Goldberg and Kane fight through the crowd, and RVD and Orton fight. RVD nails the 5*, the ref is out, and Foley comes in to make the pinfall.
Winners – HBK/RVD/Goldberg

Bischoff comes out and yells at Foley, says that he has decimated the roster. He then tells Foley that as soon as Foley signs the release papers for who he fired tonight, Paul Heyman will sign them over to SD. Foley says that they are not actually fired, but he just wanted to show Bischoff what he has been like since he started, and called him a self-centered bastard. Foley says that he will make Goldberg vs. Kane for next week. He will also give Sacramento what they have wanted since he got there tonight. He then punches him and gives him a bit of Mr. Socko to end the show.

Show Over.

~PK