411’s WWE Smackdown Report 01.09.09

Welcome to 411’s WWE Smackdown Report for 1.9.09. I hope everyone had a great week. School is back in session, people are back at work, and things are back to normal with Triple H wrestling THREE times on one show. Ugh. It’s great to see that the WWE has signed Low-Ki. I really don’t see it lasting that long especially without a Cruiserweight or Junior division. Low-Ki is a very talented wrestler, but can he do well in the WWE format? Only time will tell. We’ve got a WWE Tag Team Championship match tonight and supposedly WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and his girlfriend have been in a car accident. Joy. Welcome to 1999.

We open up the show with Tazz and Jim Ross welcoming us from their broadcast position. They inform us that WWE.com is reporting that WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and his girlfriend have been in a “car accident”. Come on WWE. Ross tells us that Jeff is battered, but okay and they will be showing footage from the authorities and we will be hearing from Jeff Hardy tonight via satellite.

Triple H will be competing three times tonight in a Tables Match, Handi-Cap match, and a Last Man Standing Match!

From East Rutherford, New Jersey again.

Tables Match: Triple H -VS- 1/2 of the World Tag Team Champions John Morrison

They show footage of the action figure/nudity footage from last week. Nude photos of Vickie Guerrero censored were posted on WWE.com. Sick. Perverted. It’s odd seeing Morrison back in singles action, but it’s where he belongs. Morrison has crosses on his sunglasses. How does he see out of them? This Triple Jeopardy situation was made to punish Triple H for surfing the internet and finding Vickie’s nude photos. The two attempt to lock-up, but Morrison gets the better of Triple H and knees him in the chest, but Triple H retaliates with a high knee into the face of Morrison and a clothesline to the floor. Triple H goes to the floor and throws Morrison into the ringpost. Triple H begins to set up a table on the floor. Triple H pulls Morrison onto the top of the steps and attempts a suplex through the table, but Morrison falls behind The Game and yanks his legs and Triple H’s face collides with the steel steps. Morrison rolls Triple H into the ring and brings a table in as well! Ross compares Morrison to a young Rick Rude. I compare him to Shawn Michaels. Morrison nails a Springboard kick off the second rope into Triple H’s face. Morrison slugs away at Triple H. Morrison is sent over the top rope. but lands on the apron right over a table. Morrison slides under Triple H, runs off the other side of the ropes, and Triple H catches him and connects with the Spinebuster. Triple H brings another table into the ring and sets it up. Triple H picks John Morrison up onto the top ropes and attempts a Superplex, again. Morrison blocks. Triple H lays on the table, but gets up and tosses John Morrison off of the top ropes THROUGH a table on the outside of the ring to win the match!

Winner: Triple H.**. Not a bad match.

The Miz distracts Triple H and Chavo Guerrero comes into the ring and tosses Triple H through a table! Good job Chavito! Vickie smiles from backstage.

We are informed that The Undertaker vs. United States Champion Shelton Benjamin is next! We are sure in for a treat here tonight folks.

Triple H is hobbling through the curtains backstage and runs into Vickie. Vickie tells him he doesn’t look to good and he’s still got two more matches to go and reminds him of the two gimmicks still left to go.

United States Champion Shelton Benjamin -VS- The Undertaker (Non-Title)

This is a match I’ve personally been looking forward to for awhile. Hopefully this will set up a nice long feud. Undertaker’s entrance really needs to be sped up. I mean seriously. It’s cool to see every once in awhile, but it takes him three-to-four minutes to get to the ring. That’s longer than most televised matches nowadays. I could see these two competing at WrestleMania again with Shelton ending the Undertaker’s streak. Someone has to do it. Bell finally sounds and we’re underway with “Undertaker” chants. Shelton dodges the Undertaker and gets in some shots to the Undertaker’s face. Shelton still dodges and connects with some more shots. Undertaker grabs Benjamin by the throat and whips him into the corner and nails him with some blows. Undertaker wraps the arm and attacks the left one of Shelton Benjamin. Undertaker throws him shoulder first into the top turnbuckle. Undertaker punches the shoulder continually and headbutts Shelton in the face. Undertaker pulls on Shelton’s shoulder over the rope almost getting him disqualified. Undertaker is still going after that arm. He twists it and climbs the to the top rope and walks the tight line and comes down hard on that shoulder and arm of Shelton Benjamin. Undertaker charges at Shelton again and clotheslines him to the floor as we head to commercial break.

We return from commercial break about five minutes in and the Undertaker is STILL attacking that arm. Shelton is tossed into the turnbuckle then followed with a clothesline. Undertaker then throws him into the other corner, picks him up, and connects with Snake Eye’s. Shelton then somehow dodges the Undertaker and connects with a chopblock. Another chopblock and the United States Champion is now targeting that left leg of the Undertaker. Shelton goes to the floor and wraps Undertaker’s leg around the ringpost then slams his leg into it. Undertaker rolls back in with Shelton Benjamin is still on the attack. Undertaker fights back slamming Shelton’s face into the padded turnbuckle. How painful. Undertaker tries the Chokeslam, but gets a kick in the leg. Shelton takes Undertaker to the ground and wraps Undertaker’s left leg up. Shelton stomps Undertaker’s leg and follows with some slugging punches to the face. Shelton tries to spring off the rope to land on Undertaker’s leg, but the Undertaker boots him out of the ring. Undertaker then connects with a legdrop on the apron. Always dug that maneuver. Undertaker rolls him into the ring and gets a two count. Shelton retaliates with a kick to the leg. Shelton climbs up on the Undertaker in the corner and punches away. Undertaker picks him up, goes for the Last Ride, but Shelton falls to his feet and connects with a DDT! Two count! Great transition there. Shelton hits a Stinger Splash. Then goes for another, but Undertaker Chokeslams him for two! Great match so far. Undertaker nails some more punches. Undertaker then signals another Chokeslam, but Shelton kicks Undertaker in the leg. Shelton runs into the turnbuckle, tries to jump up, but Undertaker catches him and nails a Tombstone for a three count at the near twelve minute mark.

Winner: The Undertaker.***3/4. Call me stupid for rating it that high, but I truly enjoyed the psychology here. Undertaker picks up the obvious win, but Shelton Benjamin looked strong. Great match.

Jim Ross and Tazz are talking about the car accident. They say that the Edge vs. Jeff Hardy match for the Royal Rumble is still on! Footage is shown from the police dashcam of the car accident. Jeff Hardy and his girlfriend are shown standing next to a totalled car. The time says 2:00 A.M. Jeff says that someone came flying behind him and Jeff slammed on the breaks and this is what happened. Jeff tells the cop that he was going 35 and the other guy had to have been going 60 or 65. The cop tells Jeff and his girlfriend to come to the police car to write down what happened. Wow. This is horrible acting.

Tazz, earlier in the night, interview Edge. Edge says that he heard about the accident and the black cloud of Jeff hardy from 2008 has followed him into 2009. Edge informs Tazz that Jeff Hardy and his girlfriend are in his prayers.

We head to commercial and get another Behind Enemy Lines: Colombia preview.

The Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki) -VS- Michelle McCool and Victoria

I might just go with calling the Bella’s Bella 1 and Bella 2. Telling them apart and calling them by their names might be near impossible. McCool is freshly turned heel. Crowd boos her, but McCool still does her little spin on the top of the ramp. That’s not a good heel Michelle. They air footage from two weeks ago of McCool attacking Maria then Eve Torres the following week. Even Tazz and JR speak of how hard it is to tell the Bella Twins apart. I feel their pain. Bella 1 and McCool begin the match. I hear the name Brie yelled outloud, so we’ll call her Brie. McCool hiptosses Brie over and then taunts her and does two HORRIBLE push-ups. Brie battles back, but McCool slides to the floor. Nikki comes from the side and throws McCool back in the ring. Brie gets her hair pulled and head slammed back to the mat. Michelle McCool tags in Victoria. Victoria nails a legdrop. Victoria then slams Brie’s face into the mat multiple times then goes after the neck. Victoria goes over to the corner and hits Nikki. Victoria backs Brie into their corner and McCool pulls Brie’s pants and Victoria pounds away. Victoria nails a twisting sideslam then misses a moonsault. Nikki is tagged in and goes for an Oklahoma Roll on Victoria and gets a three count! You’ve got to be kidding me. Even Jim Ross would be impressed.

Winners: Bella Twins.3/4*. Divas match is a typical divas match.

After the match McCool comes in and hits a Styles Clash on Victoria. Seriously Michelle, stop stealing moves from people. Thanks. A fan yells at her, “You can’t Styles Clash”. I’m laughing hysterically. McCool is quickly becoming the Mike Adamle of Smackdown.

Triple H is shown walking backstage and the Handi-Cap match is next.

Handi-Cap Match: Triple H -VS- 1/2 of the World Tag Team Champions The Miz and Chavo Guerrero

Triple H is using his “Bow Down to the King” theme song. I think that should be his theme permanently.What an odd pair of Miz and Chavo we have here.. Why not have Chavo job to Triple H in the Tables Match, and have had Triple H vs. Miz/Morrison? Probably to save what’s left of the credibility of the World Tag Team Championship. This match will be two-on-one. This is the second match of the Triple Jeopardy matches that Triple H will compete in tonight. Bell sounds and Miz will begin in the ring with Triple H. Of course Triple H begins the match attacking The Miz, but Miz comes back. Bunch of punching and kicking back and forth and The Miz tags in Chavo Guerrero. Chavo gets pounded for a bit. Chavo retaliates with his own punches. Miz grabs Triple H, but gets punches and Chavo is sent shoulder first into the ringpost. Miz tags himself in. Chavo comes from behind and hits Triple H. Miz is back on the offense with punches and targets the arm with an armbar takedown for a two count. Chavo tags in and slugs away at The Game. Chavo targets the arm again, and hits a Rolling kick for a two count! I love that move. Chavo tags the Miz and Miz hits a running clothesline, and tags Chavo back in. Chavo goes for the Frogsplash, but misses. Chavo Guerrero tags The Miz back in. Miz charges and gets a neckbreaker and a knee to the face followed by a clothesline for two. Miz kicks Triple H in the face, charges off the ropes, and Triple H catches him and hits him with a Spinebuster! Chavo backs down as The Miz goes for a tag. Miz goes back towards Triple H and gets a Pedigree for a three count.

Winner: Triple H.*1/2. I liked the frequent tags in this match.

Vickie comes on the Titantron with her normal, “Excuse me.” bit. She tells Triple H that his Last Man Standing Match will be against The Big Show!

MVP’s V.I.P. Lounge is set up in the ring. Tonight’s guest is Mr. Kennedy. I’m expecting fourteen DVD plugs. . . . at least. Kennedy tells MVP that its embarassing seeing MVP lose evey week. Mr. Kennedy says that he wants to help inspire MVP to end his losing streak. MVP starts fuming. The ring crew come to the ring and move all of the furniture out of the way. Mr. Kennedy pokes fun at MVP saying that all of MVP’s furniture is being reposessed . . . . . RE RE RE REPOMAN. I wish. The Boogeyman then comes out from under the ring and slams MVP to the canvas. MVP rolls out of the ring and leaves. Not a bad segment.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Carlito and Primo(c)-VS- THE Brian Kendrick/Ezekiel Jackson

This match is for the titles! Ross likes Kendrick/Jackson, while Tazz picks the Colons. One fall with the tag belts on the line. Ezekiel and Primo begin. Ezekiel powers Primo with some elbows. Primo tags in Carlito , who pounds away at Ezekiel, but is hit with a tackle. Carlito and Primo hit a double Springboard Forearm onto Ezekiel. Ezekiel gets up and pounds Carlito in the corner. Ezekiel must be on some sauce. He tags in Kendrick and Kendrick connects with a series of kicks to Carlito. Carlito and Kendrick trade blows with Carlito getting the better of him and tags in Primo in which they nail a Double Dropkick to Kendrick! Primo is now legal. Kendrick slaps Primo and runs away. Primo chases, Kendrick slides in the ring and tags in Ezekiel who punches Primo in the face. Ezekiel nails a vicious clothesline in the corner. Primo battles back, but jumps right into a Bearhug. Ezekiel is shaking Primo like a ragdoll ala Chyna/Marlena from WrestleMania 13. Ezekiel scoop slams Primo. Kendrick wants the tag, but Ezekiel ignores and applies the Bearhug on Primo again slamming him into his corner and tagging in Kendrick. Kendrick applies a Camel Clutch type maneuver only locking the arm as well. Primo throws Kendrick over his head, and gets the tag into Carlito! Carlito knees Kendrick in the face then nails a Springboard Elbow off the second rope. Carlito hits a sit-out spinebuster for two as Ezekiel breaks it up. Primo pulls the top rope and Ezekiel goes flying. Kendrick rolls up Carlito and gets a VERY VERY close two count! The both get up, Kendrick misses a kick and Carlito nails a Backstabber for the victory!

Winners: and STILL WWE Tag Team Champions Primo and Carlito. **3/4. Short, but a very good match. I’d like to see what these two teams can do if given fifteen to twenty minutes. Kendrick and Ezekiel still remind me of Shawn Michaels and Diesel.

Exclusive cell phone footage of the accident is shown. This is just lame. The person with the cell phon is behind Jeff now to the side of him and it just randomly cuts out.

WWE Champion Jeff Hardy is talking to us via satellite. He speaks of the party that him and the face Smackdown Superstars had that night. He tells the fans that he was shocked with the person speeding over 60 miles an hour and nearly running him off the road. Jeff Hardy says he will be returning next week to Smackdown and will be defending the WWE title at the Royal Rumble against Edge! I think this match will be a show stealer.

They run down the Royal Rumble Card:

–WWE Championship: Jeff Hardy(c) vs. Edge
–World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena(c) vs. JBL w/Shawn Michaels
– 30-Man Royal Rumble Match

They left off the Women’s title match, but Beth Phoenix will be defending against Melina.

Last Man Standing Match: Triple H -VS- The Big Show

This must be another one of Triple H’s creations to squash the entire Smackdown roster in one night or at least ruin the credibility of a lot of the superstars. The bell sounds. Big Show grabs Triple H by the left arm and punches his shoulder multiple times. That is the same shoulder that was injured earlier in the night when Chavo threw Triple H through a table followed by Miz and Chavo targeting that arm during the whole match. Triple H punches Big Show in the face, but Big Show Irish Whips Triple H OVER the top rope to the floor. Triple H gets up at six. Big Show pounds Triple H, who is draped over the top rope, right in the chest and Triple H falls over the top rope back into the ring. We head to a commercial break.

Big Show is still dominating when we return. He sprints right into the boot of Triple H! Triple H connects witha spinning DDT from the top rope to the canvas! Both men are down. Big Show is up at seven, and Triple H is up at eight. The two continue to trade blows. Triple H runs off the ropes and Big Show SPEARS HIM! Wow. That looked good. Triple H is down grasping his ribs. Ross says that it could’ve been a low-blow even. Triple H is up at around seven, then greeted with a headbutt. Triple H is back down. Big Show shakes his head saying that it’s all over. Triple H gets up at eight again and Big Show headbutts him again and again. Triple H is fired up. He tells Big Show to bring it. Multiple headbutts to Triple H follow. Triple H gives Big Show the DX crotch chop and connects with a Pedigree! Both men are down. The count is applied. The crowd is cheering for Triple H to get to his feet. Triple H is up at six. Big Show gets up at nine! Big Show misses with several punches. This looks like a horrible boxing match. Triple H punches Big Show several times. Triple H hits Big Show with another knee. Big Show picks up Triple H on his back and hits a backdrop with Triple H on Big Show’s back! Both men are down again. Big Show is up at six. Triple H is trying to get to his feet. Triple H is up at nine, then falls out of the ring to the floor. Big Show picks Triple onto his shoulders, but Triple H drops to his feet and sends Big Show face first into the ringpost! Triple H is in the ring and the Big Show gets the count. Big Show is up at eight. Triple H goes back to the floor and jumps right into Big Show’s arms then is CHOKESLAMMED ONTO THE TABLE AND IT DOESN’T BREAK! The ref starts the count with Triple H laying on the table. Technically he’s not on the ground so I don’t think that count is legal. Triple H is up at eight by just rolling off the table onto his feet. Big Show comes back to the floor and punches Triple H right in his face just like Joey Styles did to JBL. Triple H falls back onto the table. Ref begins the count again. Triple H fails to get up and the referee reaches the ten count. Big Show has won the match!

Winner: The Big Show. ***1/4. Good match. Too slow of a count by the referee which really slowed this match down. Still makes Big Show look good and dominant though.

Vickie appears on the stage with The Big Show. Tazz says that tonight Vickie Guerrero got some serious payback.

Overall Thoughts: Good show, but it’s one of those shows where Triple H is shoved down your throat. I was happy to see him lose to the Big Show, because if he would’ve won then there goes four heels on Smackdown that he would’ve defeated in one swoop. Shelton Benjamin vs. The Undertaker was easily the best match on this show. I’d love to see a feud between these two. The WWE Tag Team Championship match was nice. I hope to see more out of them four. The Jeff Hardy car accident segment was horrible. I never condone faking car accidents, even if it is “acting”.