411’s WWE Smackdown Report 05.29.03

WWE Smackdown for May 29, 2003. Taped from Pensacola, Florida.
Report by Brad Jennette, EXCLUSIVELY for www.411wrestling.com

The video rolls, the pyro hits and we are TAPED FROM PENSACOLA … it’s WWE Smackdown for May 15, 2003.

As the show begins, a graphic is shown on the screen hyping tonight’s main event. The three members of the FBI will be taking on Undertaker and Brock Lesnar in a 2 on 3 handicap match.

Sable comes out to open Smackdown and she says she is going to be the ring announcer for the next match. She says Torrie Wilson is from Loserville, USA and weighs “way too much”.

Nidia w/ Jamie Noble vs Torrie Wilson
This was your blah women’s match of the week by the Smackdown crew. Torrie “injured” her knee doing a leapfrog and Nidia focused her attack on the injured knee. Torrie started to make her comeback but Noble was able to distract Torrie and allow Nidia to roll her up with the tights for the pin. After the match, Tazz attacked Noble so he couldn’t attack Torrie, Torrie pulled Nidia’s jean shorts down and Sable threw water on Tazz for the 2nd week in a row.
Winner by pinfall: Nidia

A black limo showed up backstage and Vince stepped out. Vince told the driver to leave the limo right where it was because he wouldn’t be gone long. The driver warned they were in a handicapped zone.

The two “detectives” have the lie detector machine hooked up to Stephanie in the back. They ask her if she is the GM of Smackdown and she passes by saying yes. They then ask her if she has ever cheated on her taxes and she quickly pulled the wires off and said the machine was working properly.

Team Angle come walking from around a corner and promise to get their belts back tonight for Kurt, who is due back next week. They then put on their jumpsuit hoods and headed toward the ring.

Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri are shown backstage in their locker room. Tajiri is wearing baggy clothes and a beanie cap as Eddie gives him congrats on showing a little latino HEEEEEET. Tajiri says he has Tajiri HEEEEEET! Eddie starts to walk to the ring but Tajiri stops him and shows him car keys! The champs have wheels! Eddie asks Tajiri how he got the car, Tajiri says “we lie, we cheat, we STEAL!”

WWE Tag Team Championship: Tajiri and Eddie Guerrero vs Team Angle
Team Angle came out first to some serious heel heat. Eddie and Tajiri showed up to the ring next in a low-rider truck complete with hydraulics! The crowd ate it up like candy. This was EASILY the match of night and it rivaled their encounter from last week. Lots of “Eddie” chants in this one. The majority of the match saw the champs working over Tajiri’s knee in an extended heat segment and then working over Eddie after he got the hot tag. The finish was a tad confusing but really awesome once everyone got it. Charlie Haas had Tajiri locked into the Haas of Pain when the bell rang. Haas got up and started celebrating but it was Eddie who had rang the bell, Tajiri never quit! While the ref was arguing with the time keeper, Eddie snuck back in with the belt. Haas tried to tug of war it out of Eddie’s hands so Eddie let go and Haas flew backwards. Eddie then laid on the mat like he was knocked out and the ref saw the title belt in Haas’ hands causing the DQ!
Winner by DQ and STILL champs: Eddie Guererro and Tajiri

Mr. America is shown sitting in his locker room with his head in his hands worrying about the lie detector test.

Vince McMahon comes to the ring for the lie detector test. Vince says he still has that smile on his face. Vince welcomes us to a very special edition of Smackdown. Why is it so special? Because it will be the last show we will see any form of Hulk Hogan in the ring. Vince says once the test is done Mr. America’s contract will be null and void. Vince sees Zach Gowen sitting at ringside. Vince says after the test tonight neither Hogan or Zach will have a leg to stand on! Vince introduces Mr. America. Mr. America comes to the ring and he sits at the table in the ring and gets hooked up with all the lie detector equipment. Vince tells Hogan he is not singling him out because he has all his corporate employees go through the same thing. Because if there is one thing Vince can not stand it is a liar. Instead of putting down every question I will just say Mr. America passed the test and was proved NOT to be Hogan. Vince then got hooked up to the machine and he failed some very embarrassing questions like “are you the biggest asshole on God’s green Earth.” This was a very funny segment.

Vince storms into Stephanie’s dressing room and asks her if she just saw what happened. Vince says Stephanie was the one responsible for hiring the lie detectors, to make sure the equipment worked properly, and she was the one who hired Mr. America. Vince says next week things are going to change for the better.

Sean O’Haire w/ Roddy Piper vs Chris Benoit
This match was not bad or anything, it just seemed like it because the crowd was DEAD after the Mr. America stuff. O’Haire looked really good against Benoit but then again, who doesn’t? Piper grabbed Benoit’s foot as he was coming off the ropes and that caused the Crippler to chase Piper into the ring and slap on the crossface. O’Haire kicked Benoit in the back of the head from behind and rolled him up holding the tights for the pin. I like O’Haire a whole bunch and usually beating Benoit means you are going places (see Cena)
Winner by pinfall: Sean O’Haire

The FBI is backstage lifting weights. They are all arguing about how they will take out Brock and Taker tonight. Stamboli wants to use the weights, but Nunzio has a BIGGER plan.

A video package of the Rey Mysterio-Matt Hardy conflict is shown and they announce Matt will take on Rey in a Cruiserweight title match next week.

Rey Mysterio is shown in the back ready for an interview. He talks about how he is going to win the cruiserweight title next week on the West Coast. Matt Hardy then walked up and said the crowd could chant Rey and 619 all they want because he is going to destroy Rey just like he did at Wrestlemania. Matt then kicked Rey in his injured groin and left him laying helpless.
Ultimo Dragon “COMING SOON”.

Basham Brothers vs Spanky and Rikishi
More OVW callups! I was really upset they didn’t even give these guys a short promo or something to debut them. They just came out to nothing, a total dead reaction. Spanky plays his role in the ring SO well. Just the fast pace he keeps as if to portray his character as “I got to keep moving because if I get caught I’m dead” (credit Egomaniac247). The finish saw Spanky go for a monkey flip on Doug, get pushed off by Danny from the outside, then get rolled up by Doug who got the pin thanks to an assist from Danny! Great teamwork on the finish by the new guys. I like em anyway. Spanky and Rikishi danced after the match to a nice reaction.
Winners by pinfall: Basham Brothers

Out in the parking lot Vince’s limo is getting towed away for being parked in the handicap zone. Vince gets in the limo anyways and tells the tow truck driver to tow him to the airport. Zach Gowen walks up and knocks on the window and tells Vince it is illegal to park in a handicap spot. As the limo is towed away Vince is heard screaming to stop because he wants to get out and kick Zach’s ass.

Awesome desire video for Kurt Angle done with the music of Coldplay’s – “Clocks”. I’m talking a 4 minute long package that made HHH’s quad video look LAME.

2 on 3 Handicap Match: FBI and Big Show vs Brock Lesnar and The Undertaker
The handicap match was supposed to be the three members of the FBI vs the big faces but Nunzio was thrown over the top and took a hard fall on his back last week and was unable to compete. The footage that was shown tonight was different then what Nunzio actually said at the taping. He kind of flubbed his lines at the taping and he showed off his taped up ribs. Nunzio said Big Show would be his replacement. This was actually much better then it had any right to be, it was a lot of fun with the heels escaping a lot of “oh its over” moments. Taker had the Big Show in the Dragon Sleeper but Nunzio broke it up with a chairshot, only to get chokeslammed. The finish saw Brock lose the match CLEAN to the Big Show. He F5’ed Stamboli and Palumbo but then got chokeslammed for the clean pin!
Winners by pinfall: Big Show & the FBI

End of Show.