wrestling / TV Reports

411’s WWE Smackdown Report 12.26.08

December 26, 2008 | Posted by Alexander Miezin

Welcome to 411’s Smackdown Report for 12.26.08. I hope everyone had a nice and safe Christmas or which ever holiday they celebrate. On last week’s report, I was told I used the word “pervert” and “perverted” too much. Well this week we’ve upped the dose of Pervertism as PervertMania is Runnin’ Wild! Sit back and relax as we see TWO title matches tonight on Smackdown! This is the first time that TWO titles have been defended on an episode of Smackdown in a VERY LONG time! The anticipation is building. Let’s get to the show!

From Toronto, Ontario, Canada

We open up tonight’s episode from Toronto, Ontario, also known as the Armpit of Canada with Triple H‘s music hitting and the crowd going bonkers. Triple H is headed to the ring with a sledgehammer in one hand and water bottle in the other. He looks very angry and ready to go to war. We get a preview for tonight’s main event which is a non-title match between WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and the Big Show. Tazz calls Triple H the “measuring stick of the WWE”. By measuring stick does he mean the nose of the WWE? Triple H speaks about things in life that you don’t do. They show footage from Armageddon two weeks ago with Triple H hitting the Pedigree on then WWE Champion Edge with Vladimir Kozlov interfering and costing Triple H the WWE Championship. It seems like Triple H is determined to make up for that horrible match against Kozlov at the Survivor Series in November. Footage is then shown from last week with Triple H saving Jeffrey Hardy by hitting a Pedigree on Edge then attacking Kozlov. Crowd begins a Triple H chant. Triple H says he will not leave without Kozlov coming out and finishing this. Chavo Guerrero then comes out. Wow. Chavo Guerrero has completely shocked the crowd. He comes out playing an invisible violin. Chavo tells Triple H that his aunt Vickie Guerrero sent him out here and if Triple H lays a finger on Kozlov again by interfering in a match that Triple H will not be in the Royal Rumble match nor will he receive any WWE Championship matches. Triple H throws a fat joke at Vickie Guerrero. That’s just wrong. This segment is making me sick. The dubbed in crowd cheers are so obvious. An Eddie chant begins as Chavo walks down the ramp to accept Triple H’s challenge. Chavo walks back up the ramp seemingly not accepting Triple H’s challenge. Out comes Vickie Guerrero, who fit through the door, and tells Triple H that he can’t insult the Guerrero family. Vickie says she wants a referee and Chavo will prove he’s a Guerrero and makes the Chavo/Triple H match. Chavo Guerrero looks at her in shock as he walks back down the ramp. The match is now!

Triple H -VS- Chavo Guerrero

The bell sounds and Chavo goes to work on Triple H. Triple H battles back with some punches and throws Chavo to the floor. Vickie is still on the ramp. Jim Ross finally speaks. Triple H throws Chavo back into the ring, but Chavo does a dropkick through the middle rope onto Triple H. Chavo does a Rolling Heelkick. Man I love that move. Chavo begins removing the top turnbuckle then runs to the outside and gets a chair. He throws it to Triple H. Triple H catches the chair and Chavo lays and the ground doing an “Eddie”. Triple H throws the chair to the floor and the crowd laughs. Chavo runs into a Spinebuster. Triple H kicks Chavo in the stomach and hits the Pedigree for a three count.

Winner: Triple H. 1/2*. Was a squash/comedy match. Nothing more.

Triple H goes to the floor and grabs his sledgehammer and nails Chavo Guerrero in the sternum and poses! Vickie looks in disgust and leaves.

They show an image of the Divas Championship match between Michelle McCool and Maryse. Then they show an image for the United States Championship match later tonight between Shelton Benjamin and Hurricane Helms. Triple H poses on the ramp as we head to a commercial.

Ross speaks of the two title matches as we as sent to a carnival. They show a preview fro the new wrestler Kazarny, who was Slash in TNA back in 2002. A bunch of perverted bizarre images and things are shown. Reminds me of Doink without the facepaint. Kizarny will be debuting next week. Joy.

WWE United States Championship Match: Shelton Benjamin(c) -VS- Hurricane Helms

Kind of weird they come back with the U.S. Champion Shelton Benjamin already in the ring in new black and gold attire. What an entrance for a champion. Hurricane Helms comes out interrupting Shelton on the microphone. This is odd seeing Hurricane in a US title bout. They are using the same formula they used with R-Truth with the tag win, non-title win, then a title bout. Ross mentions Helms being out for over a year rehabilitating. The bell sounds and we are underway. Shelton starts the match with a takedown and Helms gets the ropes. Helms hits Shelton with an armdrag. Helms looks like CM Punk back in Ring of Honor. Hurricane and Shelton have a staredown and Shelton runs and Hurricane pulls down the rope then clotheslines Benjamin over it. Helms goes to the top and nails a crossbody onto the floor! Goes for a cover and gets two. Helms goes for a roll-up and gets two again. Snapmare into a back splash for two again. Hurricane goes to the top again, but Shelton crawls towards the other corner. Hurricane follows, but gets caught off the top rope and powerbombed into the turnbuckles for a two count! We head to a commercial break.

We come back with Shelton having Helms in a half nelson. Shelton hits Helms with an elbow into his right trap and goes to work on the neck of Hurricane. Shelton goes back to the half nelson. Ross calls Shelton Benjamin the WWE’s Adrian Peterson. Helms fights out and goes for a suplex, but that’s reversed and Shelton hits a neckbreaker for a two count! Shelton puts Helms into a body scissors. Rest holds galore! Helms fights out of it, but is kicked in the gut. Back to their feet and Helms stomps Shelton in his gut. Helms hits a series of punches and an uppercut. Helms hits a clothesline and is getting pumped up! Helms goes for a Shining Wizard, Shelton ducks and rolls up Helms for a two. Helms then rolls up Shelton for a two! Hurricane hits the Nightmare on Helms Street for TWO! Hurricane misses the Shining Wizard again, but instead nails a Hurricanrana for a two count again! Shelton elbows Hurricane and heads to the top. Goes for a sunset flip and misses. Hurricane hits the Shining Wizard, but ONLY GETS TWO! Wow! Helms looks for an Underdog, but gets kicked in the face and Shelton hits the Paydirt for the victory at about the twelve minute mark!

Winner: STILL WWE United States Champion Shelton Benjamin. ***1/4. Great match between these two. They have chemistry. Solid match! I hope they battle again.

Shelton celebrates in the ring. They show footage of Jeff Hardy’s victory winning the WWE Championship at Armageddon. Jeff then cuts one of is weird psycho promos. His face is painted again and there is weird camera work and stuff. Jeff’s character is almost identical to the Joker. Even with the way he speaks. Jeff says that Big Show will drown in the screams of Jeff Hardy, WWE Champion.

THE Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel Jackson are in the ring as the WWE Tag Team Champions Carlito and Primo Colon come out with the Bella Twins. Bunch of perverts. It’s enough to make you sick. The Bella Twins dance to the ring with the Colon’s.

THE Brian Kendrick -VS- 1/2 of the WWE Tag Team Champions Carlito

Carlito starts off on the offense, but that changes very quickly as Kendrick goes to work on Carlito. Tazz calls Kendrick and Ezekiel, bizarre. The Bella Twins on the floor are cheering for Carlito as Carlito hits a knee followed by a clothesline on Kendrick. Carlito then hits a flying elbow springboarded from the middle rope. Primo gets destroyed on the floor by Ezekiel. I laughed. The Bella’s go to tend to Primo as Kendrick kicks Carlito in the face. Carlito rebounds and hits the Backstabber for the victory! Man that was sick.

Winner:1/2 of the WWE Tag Team Champions Carlito. 3/4*. Another short match. Sad to see Kendrick lose.

A video package from the WWE’s Tribute to the Troops show. It’s a music video. Always nice seeing the WWE reach out for the military. I applaud their efforts.

Edge is in the back with Vickie saying that fans all over the world have been telling him that Jeff Hardy is a disgrace to the entire WWE and the WWE title. Amen. Big Show walks in telling Edge that he protected Vickie while Edge was gone. Big Show tells Edge that he will wrap Jeff like a present. Big Show wants a title shot if he does this favor. Vickie says that he’s got it! Edge gets upset.

Maria is backstage in her referee outfit. Michelle McCool walks in and sounds VERY uncomfortable on screen speaking very fast. They say that they are friends and Maria will call it right down the middle. McCool tells Maria not to mess this one up and she highly advises against it. Maria has a big nose. Maryse vs. McCool for the Divas title is NEXT!

WWE Divas Championship: Michelle McCool(c) -VS- Maryse
Special Referee: Maria

Special referee for this match is Maria. The Canadian Crowd pops HUGE for Maryse, and rightfully so. Oo wi! These two competed in Cleveland, Ohio at Unforgiven this year. Battle of the Good theme songs. Yeah, I said it. Maria shows the crowd the Butterfly Belt of Pervertism and the bell sounds. Maryse finds herself in a headlock early for a one count after an elbow. McCool tries to be cool and athletic, but it just looks awkward. Lots of yelling in the ring making this sound like a tennis match. McCool floats through for another one count. Uppercuts and punches by McCool, then she rolls through and nails a dropkick for a two count. Maryse pulls McCool’s face into the second turnbuckle. Maryse goes to work on McCool. Maryse hits a reverse Russian Legsweep for two. Maryse puts McCool in almost a Camel Clutch type maneuver. McCool fights out and snapmare’s Maryse to the mat and then kicks her right in the face for a two count. Lalalala. Maryse clotheslines McCool then misses an elbow. They trade blows, heh. McCool goes for a dropkick, but botches it. McCool’s voice is really annoying. Hits a twisting neckbreaker for a slow two count. Maryse then gets a two count following a counter to a powerbomb. Maryse comes out of nowhere and kicks McCool in the face for a THREE COUNT! Wahoo! Maryse is the new Divas Champion! Canadian crowd pops again.

Winner: and NEW WWE Divas Champion Maryse. *1/2. Finally they put the title on Maryse. Undertaker must be broken up with McCool.

McCool then proceeds to argue with Maria then she attacks her. McCool mounts and throws punches at Maria. Michelle McCool kics Maria in the ribs. Crowd chants You Suck towards McCool. I he he’d. McCool stomps Maria’s hair then throws her to the floor. McCool rolls to the outside and continues the attack out there while a couple fans laugh. McCool throws Maria into the ringpost. We go to commercial.

They show a promo for the returning Umaga! Finally! MVP is shown in the ring. Looks to be another bout headed next.

MVP -VS- The Great Khali

Khali enters to some pretty funny music now. No kiss cam tonight, instead Khali will be wrestling. Facepalm. MVP’s losing streak could end tonight, OR AT THE ROYAL RUMBLE!! MVP rolls to the floor following the sound of the bell, and comes back in the ring at the seven count. MVP negotiates with Khali, but instead throws some punches. Khali battles back and sends MVP to the mat with a clothesline then puts him into the corner. Khali hits a huge chop. Khali misses a boot and MVP capitalizes and kicks and punches to the quad of Khali. Khali fights back and punches MVP in the face. Ouchies. MVP rolls to the floor and slams Khali’s throat on to the ring rope. MVP hits the Drive-By, but instead of going for a pin he runs off the rope and gets chopped. Punjabi Plunge by Khali finishes MVP at around the three minute mark.

Winner: The Great Khali. 1/4*. MVP’s losing streak continues. MVP will win the Royal Rumble match. I called it last week and I’m sticking with my pick.

Mr. Kennedy comes out and the crowd pops pretty loudly. Kennedy is at the top of the ramp and reaches up for a microphone that drops into his hands. Crowd still cheering. He tells Justin Roberts to hand MVP a microphone. Roberts slides one in. Perverts. Kennedy says MVP is still knocked out so he begins to speak FOR MVP. Pretty funny stuff. Mr. Kennedy plugs his new DVD, again. Again. Again. Kennedy dedicates this portion of the broadcast to MVP, sponsored by MR. KENNEDYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Kennedy.

Vladimir Kozlov is shown walking to the ring. Oh cool, another squash match.

Jimmy Wang Yang -VS- Vladimir Kozlov

Hmm. I wonder who is going to win this one. They show highlights from Kozlov’s interference at Armageddon again. Wang goes for a tie-up, but Kozlov slams him and hits some knees and a float over suplex. Kozlov goes for a big boot and misses. Wang hits a clothesline and heads to the top. Wang goes for a crossbody, but catches a headbutt into his sternum. Kozlov hits a variation of a Chokeslam for a three count.

Winner: Vladimir Kozlov. 1/4*. Squash. Boo. Boredom.

Kozlov grabs the microphone and speaks Russian. Then he speaks English. Kozlov says this is what will happen in the Royal Rumble. Big Show is shown lacing his boots in the back. Edge walks in and wishes the Big Show luck. Big Show throws some insults at Edge as we head to commercial.

We get the RAW Preview for the Fatal Fourway match on RAW Monday.

Non-Title: WWE Champion Jeff Hardy -VS- The Big Show

Big Show enters and we get another commercial break. WWE Champion Jeff Hardy comes out next with a cheers from the kids and perverts. They show Edge backstage, and Vickie says if Big Show wins then next week he goes one-on-one with Edge in a Number One Contenders match. Jeff has puke colored facepaint on tonight. Ross says that Big Show knows where the money’s at. Jeff dodges Big Show a couple of times before getting slugged in the back and thrown into the corner and nailed with a chop. Another chop follows. Big Show rips Jeff’s shirt off with a chop. That was great. Big Show continues to slug Hardy. Jeff fights back with some punches and tries the Twist of Fate, but Big Show catches him and just whips him across the ring and to the outside as we head to ANOTHER commercial.

We’re back from commercial with Big Show applying a nerve hold to the WWE Champion. Jeff fights to his feet and is hit with a headbutt followed by Big Show walking over Jeff Hardy’s stomach. Big Show chops Jeff Hardy again. Big Show begins targeting the arm as he drapes it over the top rope and punches it. Big Show throws Jeff Hardy into the corner and throws some bodyshots. Hardy gets back to his feet and fights back. He runs off the rope and runs into a clothesline. Big Show covers and gets a two count. Big Show goes back to the nervehold, followed by a punch to the traps of Jeff Hardy. Big Show goes for a cover and gets a very narrow two count. Big Show hits a hammerlock slam. Big Show misses an elbow. Jeff back to his feet, but jumps right into a bearhug. Hardy throws elbows at Big Show and gets out. Jeff runs up the ropes and hits the Whisper in the Wind…TWICE! Jeff climbs to the top ropes and hits a Swanton Bomb! Hardy goes for the cover, but Big Show TOSSES Hardy OUT of the ring at the count of two. Jeff climbs back to the top ropes and Big Show catches him and goes for a Chokeslam, but it’s countered into a DDT. Big Show is then sent to the outside and Jeff Hardy. Jeff Hardy boots Big Show into the announce table and Jeff jumps on him. Referee begins the count. Jeff gets in at the eight count. Big Show can’t make the count and is counted out!

Winner: WWE Champion Jeff Hardy.**. Jeff Hardy goes up the ramp with the title belt. ECW Champion Matt Hardy comes out to celebrate.

Vickie Guerrero says that next week it will be the Hardys versus the Big Show and Edge! Edge looks disgusted and confused as the show goes off the air.

Final Thoughts: Good show. Was a LOT better than last week’s edition. With Maryse’s title win and McCool’s heel turn, it could bring life to the already dying Divas division. Hardys vs. Big Show/Edge next week should be solid. No Undertaker again which is a disappointment. Still no Number One Contender for the Royal Rumble yet though. Overall a very solid show.

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Alexander Miezin

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