wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 12.27.23
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...It’s the final wrestling show of the year for me, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t express just how grateful I am for all of you. Whether you were with me in the duldroms of the 411 of yesteryear when heavy hitters like JD Dunn and the Smalls v Slimmer feud were on their way out, or joined me just recently when I took over RAW and AEW and became, basically, the heavy by proxy after Larry’s passing, it’s been a wild ride. I’ll speak at length in Monday’s report about 2023, but suffice to say, I appreciate you all.
It’s Wednesday, you know what that means…
Ya boy Swerve Strickland
Jay White vs Jon Moxley vs Swerve Strickland
Swerve slides outside quickly as Jay tries to do the same. Jon sends Jay out, Swerve runs in and rolls jon up for 1…2..NO!! Jon with a forearm, Swerve too, they go back and forth, knees from Jon, a headbutt, another knee. Hits the roeps, Jon sgets sent to the outside, Swerve follows, rakes the back of Jon. Right hand from Swerve, Jon chops him in the corner. Another chop. Here comes Jay and Jon and Swerve toss him over the barricade, then Jon sends Swerve over. Jon stands tall on a chair. Swerve stomps Jay into the crowd.
All three chop each other until Swerve sits Jon on a chair, takes several steps back, punches Jay White, then runs and gets some double knees to the seated Jon! Swerve with a big boot to White. They end up fighting towards the steps and again Swerve gets the upperhand, bringing Jon down them towards the barricade. Jon sends Swerve over the top and they are ringside. But here comes Jay to chop the leg out from under Jon! Jay sends Swerve into the barricade. Big chop to Swerve. Jay sends Swerve into the ring. Cover for 1…NO!!! HUGE chop from Jay. Big suplex into the buckles from Jay. Cover for 1.2..NO!!! Jay heads out of the ring, grabs Jon, and hits a front supelx onto the apron. Jay runs back to the apron, but Swerve is there with a big kick. Swerve hits the ropes, back flips over the top, lands on his fet, Jay kicks, locks the head, flips him up, Swerve lands on his feet, running kick to Jay!!! Swerve sends Jay into the ring. Jay rakes the eyes, in comes Jay, hits a right, and Jay is sent outsid.e Swerve with a right to Jay, another, whip to the corner, eats a big kick. Jon rakes the back. Jon turns him and gives Swerve the middle finger, but Swerve BITES THE FINGER!!!! Jon rips it out of his mouth. Swerve with a big chop. Running uppercut in the corner, roll out, Diving uppercut to the back of the head.
Jay tries to enter the ring, Swerve grabs his hands and pulls him in then stomps the hands. Big splash to the back of the head. Swerve to the corner, to the apron, running kick to Jay. He turns, Jon grabs the head, double underhook, Swerve sends him over the top onto Jay with a back body drop! Swerve to the top rope! Swerve flies! FROG SPLASH ONTO BOTH MEN!!!
WE ARE BACK and Swerve pulls Jay off the apron the hard way. Jon hits a suicide dive onto Swerve. Jon with a clothesline in the ring. He mounts Swerve. Hard rights over nad over. He bites Swerve’s nose! Jon pulls Swerve to the center. PILEDRIVER!!! Cover! 1..2….NO!!! Jon grabs the arm and drives some elbows into the chest. Wrist lock to Swerve. Swerve stands, into the corner, Jon breaks the hold, and scrapes the face with his forearm. Chop to Swerve. Jon climbs, locks the head, Swerve with an uppercut then a headbutt. Swerve flies. Jon kicks! PARADIGM SHIFT!!!! COVER! 1….2…..NO!!!! Swerve rolls to the apron. Jon heads outside. He clears the timekeeper table. He is PISSED. He knees Swerve, locks the head up and here comes Jay White with a huge chair shot to the back of Jon Moxley. Again! Again, but this time to the knee!!! Jon sees Swerve roll into the ring, grabs the chair, and smacks Jon one more time. He rollsinto the ring, yells at Swerve. Swerve with a surprise rollup! 1..2…NO!!! hop from Jay, another, Swerve breaks th grip, hits a right hand to the face. Whip, reverse, elbow from. Jay, Swerve follows with a right to the face, Jay turns, Swerve turns, fakes a low kick, Jay is stunned. HOUSE CALL!!! Swerve grabs Jay by the belt, turns him into a piledriver position, pops him up, turns into a powerslam. Swerve to the top rope. 450 Splash! Cover!! 1…..2…..JON RUNS IN WITH A STOMP!!!
WE ARE BACK AGAIN and all three men are on noodle legs. They stare each other down. They each hit a right, kick from Jay, chop from Jay, kick from Swerve to Jay, Jay with a half nelson supelx! Jon with a Sleeper onto Jay!!!! He transitions into a bulldog back into a sleeper! HOUSE CALL FROM SWERVE! JAY UP Tris for Blade Runner, Swerve counters, gets shoved, King Kong Lariat!! SWITCHBLADE ONTO JAY!!!! Cover!! 1..2…..NO!!! Jay leaves the ring, grabs a chair, smacks Jon on the back, again! Jay with a chair shot to the stomach of Swerve. Jay shoves the ref, he sets up the chair in the corner. Jay grabs Swerve. SWERVE SENDS JAY INT OTHE CHAIR!!! Jon in!! SLEEPER!!! Rollup from Swerve! 1….2…..NO!! They go in with slaps back and forth!!! HEADBUTTS!! THEY HATE EACH OTHER!!! Swerve rolls out! BIG KICK! ANOTHER BIG KICK!! SPINNING KING KONG LARIAT!!!! Half Nelson, JON BITES THE FINGERS!!! Whip to Jon and he goes chest first!!! Swerve to the top rope!!!
JAY SENDS HIM OFF THE TOP ROPE!! Tries for Switch Blade! King Kong Lariat! DEATH RIDER! Cover! 1…2…..3!!!
Winner: Jon Moxley
BRISCOEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 23:10
We come back, and Swerve Strickland is backstage with Tony. He is pissed. He wanted this so bad. This tournament was breathing life into the entire industry. He proved that he is one of the best. He didn’t get pinned, Jay Whnite got pinned. Let’s go to Collision, Mr house builder. Kieth Lee? Swerve is HIM? First thing they’ve agreed about. If Lee wants him, let’s do it. 12/30.
Tony says he’ll be here tonight, and in case Lee missed him, Tony has a contract to sign. Prince Nana is pissed, he didn’t approve this contract. Swerve says we’ll see if he shows up.
Mariah May is at the top of the ramp with Renee. She says her debut is coming soon. She didn’t feel like 2023 had the best energy. Not enough glamour. Her debut will be next week on the first Dynamite of the new year. 2024 is all about Mariah.
Riho is here, and Mariah runs into the ring. Riho chases her. But here comes Toni Storm with the belt! She mises a hit, Riho hits rights, drop toe hold to Toni! Riho tries for a 619 but Luther pulls Toni out! Riho to the top rope! She flies and hits a splash onto Toni, who is in Luther’s arms!
Top Flight and Action Andretti are backstage saying they came up short against The Acclaimed, but they’re just getting started. They wanna throw out a challenge, but here comes
Orange Cassidy along with Rocky Romero and Trent Barretta. OC says ok, ok, he knows what they’re doin. If they want action, they’ll see em next week.
Rocky makes mention that OC did the same thing to him before. He’s crazy. OC and co leave.
Before we switch scenes, Action Andretti chugs a water bottle…
Miro gets a video promo/package going over their saga on collision, of which I have seen zero, thankfully. He will be fighting Andrade this Saturday.
Tony Schiavone is in the ring with some covered board, likely large photographs, because Tony introduces Don Callis and his Family.
Don has something important to say. He says there’s been a lot of family stuff going on. He wants to say it’s been difficult for him the past two weeks. He unveils some large photos of his buddies in some total AI pics along with Don. Don is muscled up and tatted. The final photo remains covered as Don says The Don Callis Family is complete. Finally.
But Sammy Guevara’s music hits and he is out, unhappy. Don and friends in the ring look happy to see him, welcoming him down to the ring. Sammy looks at the crowd then heads to the ring.
Don says it’s like Christmas, but Sammy stops him. He says long time, no talk. Don claims he sent something for the kid. Don says he has a pic for Sammy, didn’t even know if he was going to be here. He’s been carrying it for two months. He tells Sammy to go ahead and reveal the photo.
Sammy removes the cloth, and it’s the whole family, with Sammy holding his baby. Sammy just has one question…who told Don to put his baby on that. Don says Sammy isn’t mentally capable of being a parent.
Sammy says he needs to worry about leadin this group. Hobbs beat Jericho. Takeshita beat Omega twice, but no one remembers it because Don makes everything about him. Sammy never got a message from Don while he was out. Don says Sammy is disappointed that Don didn’t call, but he is disappointed that Sammy dropped the ball when he got hurt and blew his opportunity. He is upset Sammy didn’t show up for 5 months because he was hurt and having babies. Sammy has a choice. Either choose the other family, or The Don Callis Family. He tells Sammy that he’ll be as much a disappointment as a parent as he is as a wrestler.
Sammy shoves Don, Hobbs and Takeshita attack! Chris Jericho runs down with his bat and attacks! The Callis Family leaves the ring. Jericho swings the bat into the photos, but leaves the last one for Sammy to hit. They stare each other down and stall for the inevitable HUG IT OUT.
BUT HERE COMES RICKY STARKS AND BIG BILL!!! They attack both men, each putting a boot to the chin. Ricky chokes Sammy out with a crutch. Bill stomps Jericho out in the corner.
THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!!
They come back on, and It’s Sting and Darby Allin!!! They attck Ricky and Bill. Sting tosses his bat to Jericho, attacks Bill, Sting gets a kick in.
Backstage, Roderick Strong has some photos pinned up along with some red yarn, and he says he will prove that MJF is The Devil.
Eddie Kingston vs Bryan Danielson
Bryan tangles himself in the ropes to prevent a lockup. Bryan swings a kick. Another. He tangles up in the corner again to control the ring. Bryan with some kicks. Eddie gets a slap in. Bryan with the ropes yet again, laughing it up. Eddie asks if he’s done. Kick from Bryan. SAITO SUPELX FROM EDDIE! Eddie hits the ropes! SUICIDE DIVE!!! Eddie chops a few times, Bryan sends him into the barricade back first, but Eddie hits the chest again! Into the ring, and Eddit corners Bryan, Bryan reverses, hits some chop/kicks. Eddie with a hard whip. Bryan rolls to the apron. Eddie lifts Bryan, locks up from behind, Bryan holds onto the ropes. Eddie headbutts a few times. Bryan back kicks then locks the head and hits a DDT on the apron! Bryan hops up to the apron and runs with a knee to Eddie!
We are back and Bryan is trying for The LaBell Lock, but Eddie gets to the ropes. Bryan mocks Eddie, asking if he’s going to flip Bryan off now. Bryan kicks Eddie in the face, Edie wants another. He gets it. Kicks to the chest. Bryan tells Eddie the crowd is all calling him a bum. Bryan hits the ropes, EXPLODER FROM EDDIE! Eddie blocks a move and hits a DDT. Bryan pulls himself up in the corner. Eddie pulls himself up. He turns and Bryan is in the corner. Big clothesline to Bryan. Chops over and over then a final blow drops Bryan. Another chop. Another. Bryan eats it!!! Eddie hits another. Bryan spits. Chop. Chop. Chop. Bryan is down to the mat. Chop. Boot to the neck! LaBell Lock!!!!! Bryan with an armbreaker across the shoulder. Suplex to Eddie. Bryan to th top rope. Eddie is up. He clips the legs. Big chop to Bryan. Another. Edie climbs, Bryan slips between the legs. He crotches Eddie then brings him back into the Tree of Woe. Kicks to Eddie’s chest! Running dropkick to Eddie! He sits Eddie up on the top rope then climbs. Elbows to the side of the head. Bryan for a big suplex, but Eddie turns into it and falls onto Bryan’s face!!!
We are BACK and Eddie and Bryan are both chopping away at each other. Neither man budging. Bryan kicks, and it’s a little low. He kicks inside the kne, and Eddie drops. Chop to Eddie. Another. Eddie back up, hit s chop. Another. Another. A big one drops Bryan to his knees. More chops, and Bryan screams HARDER! Eddie tries for one more, Bryan catches it. SUPLEX WITH A BRIDGE! 1..2….NO!!! Bryan with a kick, counter from Eddie, big lariat, he grabs Bryan. Northern Lights BOMB! Cover! 1..2….NO!!!! Bryan tries for a rana, countered into a pin for 1..2.NO!! reversed. 1..2..NO!!! BRYAN WITH THE FINISHING KNEE!!! COVER! 1….2…….NO!!!! Eddie kicked out! Bryan with the elbows! He hits them over and over and over. Eddie appears to be out. Ref checks on him. Bryan says its time to kick Eddie’s head in. He grabs the arms. Stomp to Eddie. Another. GOOD GOD THESE ARE BRUTAL!! Another! Bryan screams to stop the match. Ref holds Bryan back. He asks if Eddie is ok. MIDDLE FINGER TO THE SKY!!! Bryan waits for Eddie to stand. Bryan runs,
SPINNING BACKFIST!!!! HALF AND HALF SUPLEX!!! Tries for another backfist. Roundhouse kick from Bryan. BACKFIST!!! ANOTHER!!!!! He locks Bryan up!!! POWERBOMB!!! BRYAN IS STACKED! 1…2….3!!!!
Winner: Eddie Kingston
BRISCOOEEEEEEEE TIMES TWOO!!!!!
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 22:30
Jon Moxley walks down the ramp to stare down his sometime friend.
Jon enters the ring and checks on Bryan. Eddie turns, realizing Jon is in the ring.
Bryan rolls out of the ring and Jon has the mic.
Jon tells Eddie, all he’s ever asked of him, every time he stucked his neck out and put his reputation on the line, all he’s ever asked for was his 100%, his best. For a guy who thinks the whole world is against him, Eddie sure does have a lot of people that love him. Everyone loves Eddie Kingston. Everyone at World’s End will love him. They don’t care whether he wins or lose, but they deserve 100%. Problem is, Jon knows Eddie. He knows Eddie cant beat him, and Eddie knows, too. He’s already lost. Already given up, already making excuses. A couple years ago, Jon let him off the hook. This time, he will not get one single favor. If he wants to be a champ like his heroes, he’ll have to earn every inch.
Eddie says Jon has talked enough. Don’t come out here and treat him like his young boy bitch, Yuta. He’s no young boy. He’s Jon’s Senpai, you’re lucky Eddie lets him breathe. He’s right, though. Eddie hates himself more than anyone else, but on Saturday, the King of the Bums is going to push Jon. Jon told him one time, when he wanted to quit, that Eddie is not allowed to quit. AEW needs people like him around. If this is what Jon wants? He’ll give it all he’s got. He’ll show Jon his fighting spirit. He will bust Jon up and he’s going to enjoy it. That’s his outline.
His music plays.
Backstage, Christian Cage is still waiting for Adam Copeland. In comes a stagehand who says Adam is here. Cage is with Nick and his momma.
We come back and Adam is here, but he’s not here to talk. He attack Nick first then Christian. Security tries to fight him off but that doesn’t work. Adam fights Cage into the alleyway and AEW finally does one of the wrestling tropes I absolutely DESPISE….a bunch of lower level wrestlers come to keep the two men apart, suck at it, and allow at least one more attack from Adam.
Kris Statlander vs Skye Blue
LOCKUP!!!! Into the corner. Ref breaks them up. Arm drags from each. Skye with a go behind. He sends Skye around the hip and down. Skye slaps Kris in the face. Kris sends Skye into the ropes. Shoulder tackle. Body slam to Skye. Another. Triees for a third, Skye drops to her feet, hits a rana, Kris lands on her feet, big dropkick to Skye. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Skye sends Kris into the buckle. Kicks in the corner from skye. Skye tries for a suplex, but Kris is too strong. She hits her own after a delay. Drop toe hold from Skye. Running high knee against the ropes. Big kick to the head. Skye to the apron. Another kick. Skye drags Kris to the apron then slams her down face first.
WE ARE BACK and Kris hits a running kick in the corner, another, a sick ass GERMAN! COVER! 1..2….NO!!!! Kris misses a rolling right, then a kick, allowing Skye to hit a kick. CODe BLUE!!! COVER!!! 1…2…..N!O!!! Skye to the 2nd rope, flies off but Kris caches her, lifts up and tries for a powerbomb but Skye rolls through, Kris holds on! POWERBOMB! 1…2…NO!!! Kris sends Skye into the corner head first. Kris sits Skye on the top rope. Elbow from Kris. Right from Skye.
Kris climbs the corner, Ref checks on Skye who fakes an eye injury, Julia Hart is here!!! She trips Kris up on the top rope! CODE BLUE OFF THE TOP ROPE!!! COVER! 1…2…3!!!!
Winner: Skye Blue
Huge win for Skye Blue here! And this match was pretty good, too!
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 9:15
Skye attacks Kris after the bell as Julia watches on. Kris is out. Hart hits the ropes. Huge lariat to the back of the head. Skye locks in a cravat and Kris taps.
Willow Nightingale! She’s here! Takes down Hart, then Blue. They leave the ring.
Hart and Skye stand tall at the top of the ramp, but here comes Abadon to be all creepy and shit.
Renee is backstage with Ruby Soho and Saraya. Ruby faces Marina Shafir. Saraya cuts her off before she can speak, saying she has a little helper for Ruby. It’s some psycho chick I should probably know. Ruby gets a call and leaves. Homegirl Saraya brought pulls out a knife all maniacally.
The Masked Men make their entrance. MJF is next. Joe’s music hits, but he doesn’t show. We then see the screen and Joe is hurt. He’s holding his knee, in pain.
MJF is pissed but he says he is doing this match.
MJF and Samoa Joe vs Masked Men
MJF Stomps one guy in the corner. Right hand to the other. Whip into an arm drag. MJF tries for the mask, but th other guy hangs MJF up. Tag and #2 comes in to get sent right over the top rope. MJF drops outside sends #2 into the steps. Then nito the post. MJF goes for the mask again, but a third man is under the ring. He hits MJF with a pipe.
#2 sends MJF to the apron. Tag to #1. He grabs MJF and hits The Heatseeker! Cover! 1.2…3!!!
Winner: The Masked Men
-sigh-
Total Rating: *
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues
Joe comes down to save MJF on one leg. The new tag team chamops clear the ring.
Joe’s leg buckles. He stands over MJF, lfits him up.
The Devil flickers on the screen.
“Pleasure Doing Business With You.”
JOE WAS FAKING IT!!! He smacks MJF across the back with a chair! He corners MJF and screams I DID THIS TO YOU!!! MUSCLE BUSTER TO MJF!!!
Joe grabs the title and holds it up high.
End Show
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