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Acero’s WWE RAW Review 5.9.22

May 9, 2022 | Posted by Tony Acero
Becky Lynch WWE Raw 5-9-22 Image Credit: WWE
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Acero’s WWE RAW Review 5.9.22  

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Did you watch Wrestlemania? Well, they dedicated an entire PPV to remind you of what happened! Missed that, too?! Don’t worry, because RAW is here to remind you of what happened, too!

It’s Monday…you know what that means.

Randy Orton and Matt Riddle start the show after the recap of their match last night. Crowd is pro-Randy, as he welcomes us to RAW. Unfortunately, last night, they lost the battle to The Bloodline, but they will win the war. It was The Usos idea in the first place to unify the titles, but that didn’t happen. Nothing was on the line because a few weeks ago, Reigns tore up the contract because he knows The Usos cant hold a candle to RKBRO. So here’s what’s going to happen – they now want The Usos’ titles. THEY want to unify the titles.

Riddle says since it seems Usos cant make a decision, and Reigns makes them for them, they will go to Smackdown this Friday and hit Reigns up directly for the match. If he says no, it just goes to show his lack of confidence in The Usos.

The Street Profits stop Riddle short. Tough loss last night. The Bloodline are a tough squad, but RKBRO shouldn’t be worried about them, they should be worrying about The Street Profits. Ford takes offense to them talking about going over to Smackdown when they got next. THEY will unify the tag team championships. Why are they not mentioned. 420 shirts must have got their brains all fogged up because in a couple minutes, its them vs RKBRO for the titles. They want the smoke.

Riddle has something to say. RKBRO 420 says they just smoked their asses.


Match 1: WWE RAW Tag Team Championship Match
Randy Orton and Matt Riddle vs The Street Profits

Riddle and Ford to start. Ford with a couple of roll ups to piss off Riddle. Riddle with a flying armbar, but Ford folds him onto his back for a 1..NO!!! Riddle jumps for a sleeper, rolls to the front, rolls up Ford, gets a 1..2..NO!!!! Riddle taps Ford on the head. Ford off the ropes with a huge dropkick. Tag to Dawkins. Riddle tries for a gutwrench, Dawkins rolls out of it, hops over Riddly, back elbow to Riddle. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! High kick from Riddle, another, kicks in the corner, tag to Riddle. Orton sends Dawkins into the corner face first, then mounts and hits some right hands to the dome. He gets to 10 as the crowd counts along. Tag to Riddle. Orton with a snapmare,he helps Riddle with a Floating Bro. Tag from Ford. Riddle holds the roeps and locks up Dwakins to take him over he top rope. Dawkins pulls his leg and slams him on the apron. Ford hits the ropes and dives over the top to the outside!

We come back to Ford hitting a hard clothesline to Riddle. Kick from Riddle. Tag from Orton. Dawkins gets a tag. Clothesline, another, powerslam all from Orton. In comes Ford and he gets a powerslam, too! Dawkins on the apron. Orton grbs him, DDT to Dawkins! RK—NO!!! Shove. Riddle gets a tag, Dawkins with a right hand, running knee from Riddle, Ford in to get sent over the top rope. Riddle to the apron, he kicks Ford in the chest. Orton holds onto Ford, Riddle tries for a floating bro, but hits Orton!Ford rolls Riddle into the ring. Spinebuster! FROG SPLASH!!!! COVER!!! 1…….2……NO!!!! Orton slides into the ring and stops the pin! Orton heads to the outside, attacking Dakins. Ford lifts Riddle, Riddle misses a kick, but Ford kicks HIGH and hits Riddle in the side of the head!

FORD with a Frog Splash but Riddle hops up to RKO FORD!!!! 1…..2…….3!!!!!

Winner: Randy Orton and Matt Riddle
A RARE match for the WWE where I didn’t feel like the first half of the match didn’t matter at all. Ever minute of this ten minute affair was fun and even if it was heavy on the Orton offense, you cant argue with the love from the crowd. I’d gladly watch them go again.
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 10:17

Tonight, Cody Rhodes gets a shot at the US Title.

Kevin Patrick introduces Austin Theory. Patrick is standing high somewhere with the crowd behind him. Ah, it’s nearby the entrance ramp. Ok then.

Patrick asks Theory about Rhodes. How is Theory preparing?

Theory seems bothered. He can do this all day. He doesn’t need to prepare. He’s the youngest champion for a reason. He’s already great. Before his return at Mania, he was practically in diapers last time Rhodes was in the WWE. He doesn’t care about Cody or the past or respect and history. He is about the future, and the future is Theory.

Theory takes a selfie.

Recap of Rhea’s wrongdoings before Judgment Day comes out for some talky talk. Edge is sporting a short haircut.

Edge takes in the hatred from the crowd, says they formed this group because they were tired of being sheep like all of us. What did that get them? It got Edge a Hall of Fame ring? Big Deal. He’s bigger than the Hall of Fame. It also got him surgery on damn near every part of his body. We sit here with our supposed morals then hide our resentment and go home and hide behind a keyboard. They hold the mirrors up to us all and we don’t like what we see because we are ugly. They love what they see. AJ Styles and all of us morons do not understand that nothing and no one can touch them.

Priest says truth hurts. Individually, Edge and he are capable of destroying all of our favorites, but together they become more. Just imagine adding an instrument of brutality.

Rhea gloats, proud of her turn. Priest asks us to all rise for the newest member of The Judgment Day.

Rhea says joining them was the easiest decision of her life. She saw the two of them change for the better, and she wanted that for herself. She is done signing autographs for little kids who wanna be just like her. The next day, those same autographs are being sold on Ebay. She is done being used. She then calls out Liv Morgan.

Liv no longer rides her coattails. Tonight, she will give Liv a reason to cry when she destroys her.

Unrealized potential is what this is all about, says Edge. They were ships without a rutter. He is their direction. The are his Saints of Fate. A few weeks ago, he pulled Rhea aside that Liv was holding her down. He calls Liv a LOL doll. Poor little Liv. Edge is the reason our favorite tag team split up. He saw wasted domination in Rhea, a juggernaut content to live in the slow lane instead of running everything over like she can. Her message…no, it’s more than a message. His movement is not done. They are not finished yet. They’re looking for more.

Liv Morgan’s music hits. She comes out all happy go lucky.


Match 2: Rhea Ripley vs Liv Morgan

This will likely follow the rule of new look, convincing win. Rhea starts, of course, with some ass-kickery, tossing Liv across the ring. She corners Liv, hits a few rights, then climbs up. Liv fights her down then walks the 2nd rope to the top, hopping into a rana. Dropkick to Rhea. Rhea with a HUGE boot to the face of Liv! Cover for 1..2..NO!! Rhea chokes liv up on the 2nd rope. Rhea with a punch to the back of the head. Rhea slams Liv down hard, again, face first into the mat. Liv tries for a body triangle, but Rhea drops her with a hard clothesline. Boot to the chest for a pin gets 1..2..NO!!! Rhea steps on the back of Liv. Liv with a bunch of punches, enziguri to the ear, DDT to Rhea! Rhea stands on her feet. Liv hits the ropes, flies off with knees ot the face! Cover for 1….2…NO!!!! Back elbow from Liv. She goes to the top rope,

Rhea swats her aside as she flies off the corner. Kick to the face. Texas Cloverleaf to Liv! Liv tries to crawl to the ropes but ends up tapping.

Winner: Rhea Ripley
Not too bad of a match, although it was mostly Rhea beatin Liv’s ass.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 5:34

Edge and Priest enter the ring. Edge gives Rhea a nod, and Rhea grabs Liv to lock in the Cloverleaf yet again. Liv screams as Edge mocks her tapping.

As they stand to celebrate, Finn Balor’s music hits. Priest glares at him as he makes his entrance. Balor is not alone!

AJ Styles is here, too!


Match 3: Damian Priest vs Finn Balor

Priest with a hard right, whip into the corner, running back elbow, he hits the ropes, And Finn dropkciks the knee! Kick to the back of the leg. Finn locks the leg up around the rope. He boxes the ears. Priest knocks him down with aclothesline! Priest with a Broken Arrow toss. Jawbreaker from Finn. He kicks Priest out of the corner, runs into the grasp of Priest, who shoots him up then slams him down. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Chinlock from behind. Side Russian Leg Sweep by Priest. Balor is able to take advantage with a stomp to the chest. Shoulder in the corner, whip, reversal, GOOZLE from Priest, but Balor rolls him up! 1…2..NO!!!! Slingblade!!! Clothesline sends priest to the outside! Balor hits the ropes!

Finn is about to dive, but Rhea stands in the way! EDGE WITH A SPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE!!

Winner: Finn Balor via DQ
It appears they still want to give Finn some credibility by not having him lose here, but unfortunately, this is one of those matches where you feel like you’ve seen it about a hundred times.
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: 4:25

AJ attacks!!!! He mounts Edge, getting the better of him! Priest is there to attack, but Finn is back up! Rhea stands face to face with Styles! Styles considers it, but his pause creates an opening for Edge, who attacks AJ! They stand him up, and we get the leg sweep/spear combo from Priest and Edge.

Backstage, Owens and Gable talk chromosomes. Apparently, Gable is going to do a DNA test. Apparently, Gable has friends at THE DNA Lab. THEEE very one. Elias wont be able to talk his way out of it.

Owens is excited about his guest. He has a brother, Ken Owens, and he will be here tonight to compete against Elias. Kevin’s older brother is going to beat the truth out of Elias.

Oh man…

MVP Lounge starts, and he drones on about Omos’ greatness.

This is interrupted by Cedric, who says “We did it!” He says with MVP’s managerial services, and Cedric’s technical prowess, they can dominate. He knows Omos did all the heavy lifting when he put down Lashley.

MVP stops him, says he likes Cedric, but he’s going to let this interruption

Well, speaking of interruption, Bobby Lashley is here, pissed, and wet. He clotheslines security then hits another with a spinebbuste.r haha. Damn. Another eats ringpost, and a back body drop finishes the initial one. Cedric flies off the apron, Lashley catches him and drops him onto the barricade, then enters te ring. Oos shoves him, Lashley ducks, clotheslines Omos over the top rope, then gets face to face with MVP. Cedric flies in onto the back of Lashley, allowing MVP to leave. Cedric flies off the top rope and Lashley locks in The Hurt Lock.

Sonya is upset about the formal investigation. She does things by the book and gets the job done. Pearce says they need to talk, but Sonya has a match and wants to know who it is. She then changes her mind, not caring, says with her, it’s nothing personal, it’s just business.

Pearce comes out after Sonya, saying that the formal investigation has concluded, and her position as an official is terminated. Also, her opponent is…

Alexa Bliss

Bliss is here with Lilz, all smiles.


Match 4: Alexa Bliss vs Sonya Deville

Bliss hits a DDT to Sonya then drags her over to the corner. Bliss to the toprope. Twisted Bliss. Cover for 1..2…3!!!!

Winner: Alexa Bliss
I’m no Sonya fan or anything, but she just put on a nice match with Bianca and is now officially added to the female roster, and was beaten in about thirty seconds. It’s like they are fully incapable of properly pushing more than one person at a time.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: :40

Sonya screams outside of the ring comically and over the top. It’s bad.

Commentary is really selling the time of 10:00 as when the Cody match is gonna happen.

We switch gears to Ken Owens and Ezekiel.

Ken looks a lot like his younger brother, Kevin. He even comes out wearing his younger brother’s shirt. What a supporter. He’s no Eric Angle.

Zeke tells Ken hello, and Ken says he is here trying to prove a point. There may be some dumbasses that belive this, but most people don’t believe this. No one is buying this. Just to prove a point, by show of hands, who bleives this is actually Ezekiel?

Quite a few.

Has anyone finished high school in Hartford? You’re all idiots or liars. LYING IS WORSE!

Zeke tells Ken that he doesn’t think Kevin Owens would approve of his language.

Kevin removes the wig, says Zeke to admit that he is Elias.

Zeke says he is not Elias, but right now would be the perfect time for his brother to come down and sing Kevin a lullaby to calm him down.

Owens attacks!!! Zeke fights back, though!! He corners Kevin with some kicks. In come Gable and Otis. Zeke kicks Gable away. Otis attacks him, and we get a three on one. Otis with a huge splash onto the prone Zeke. Stunner!

Backstage, Asuka is excited with Pearce. In comes Becky to talk about the word, “Deserve.” She hasn’t even gotten a rematch yet, but Asuka is being handed an opportunity?

Pearce says Asuka needs to beat the champion in order to get a shot. Becky points out how stupid THAT is.

Becky wonders if Pearce orchestrated the whole multi-person match. The last time Asuka got the title, Becky handed it to her.

Asuka is so upset, she speaks Japanese. She didn’t need Becky. Pearce walks away. Becky and Asuka yell back and forth. Becky is not acting like a mommy. Shes acting like a baby. She then mock cries like a child and makes crazy faces…


Match 5: Veer vs A Father of Triplets

Veer eats one of the guys kids, tossing limbs into the crowd and flossing with the fingernails of the toddler.

Winner: Veer Mahan

Total Rating: NR
Match Time: Cooking time of a Frozen Burrito

Patrick is talking to Cody at Gorilla. What’s next between he and Seth.

Cody hopes nothing. He walked away with the moment, the money, and the victory. That chapter is closed. He calls Seth top 5 in the world. As for Theory, he is brimming with potential. Potential is like gold, you gota dig for it. So he hopes Austin is ready to do that.


Match 6: United States Championship Match
Cody Rhodes vs Austin Theory

They lockup, Cody corners Theory. Theory gets upset and slaps his chest. They lock up again, Cody works the arm. Thoery escapes, hip tosses Cody, then mocks him with the Stardust pose!!! Cody drops, uppercut, rollup for 1..2..NO!!! Backslide for 1..2..NO!!! Waist lock, into the ropes, Theory tries to break it. He does. Dropkick. Cover. 1..NO! Theory fights with some right hands, a big one to the dome, Cody returns the favor. Dropkick to the knee from Theory. Suplex to Cody. Cover and another 1. Cody drops Theory face first, then hits a dropkick. Disaster Kick of the middle rope to Theory on the apron! Cody tries to kick from the apron, but Theory catches him and drops him face first. Theory goes to the table. He removes the top and clears it for a big move. Maybe a submission. It hurts more on the announce table. Theory shoves Cody outside, but Cody turns him on the table and chops the shit out of him. Cody stands on the table, and Theory slinks away quickly, rolling into the ring.

We return to Theory having a soft chinlock on Cody. Cody breaks the hold, so Theory hits the lower back. Cody flips backwards, hits the ropes, double crossbody. Cody with a right, another, another, whip, club to the chest. Cody in the corner, flies over Thoery. Powerslam to Theory! Cover for 1..2..>NO!!! Cody to the top rope. MOONSAULT! He barely gets Theory with it, covers for 1..2..NO!!!! Cody stands first. He looks down at Theory, lifts him up, hard elbow to the side of the face, Cody hooks the leg, drives his head onto the knee. Cover for 1…2…NO!!!! Fireman’s. Cody elbows out of it. Thoery misses a right, DISASTER KICK!!! CODY CUTTER! Cody looks to end it! Maybe Cross Rhodes!

BUT HERE IS SETH ROLLINS TO STOMP CODY OUT!

Winner: Cody Rhodes via DQ
The Seth interference sucks, but was expected, and makes sense for the story. It also keeps both guys strong, because Theory shouldn’t be losing but Cody also didn’t quite need to either. A good return to form after a sluggish hour two.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 13:09

Seth screams at Cody that he wont take anything from him ever again. He slams Cody’s head over and over onto the announce table.

STOMP TO CODY ON THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! Cody falls like he got hit with a chair like Shawn Spears.


Match 7: Naomi and Sasha Banks vs Piper Niven and Nikki A.S.H.

Naomi and Piper to start. Clothesline in the corner. Headbutt from Piper. Naomi backs up against the ropes, ducks under a clothesline. Naomi kicks Piper away, hops over the back for a Sunset Flip, but Piper sits down hard on the chest of Naomi. Piper with a right hand. Piper wraps Naomi up in a straight jacket submission. Naomi turns into it and hits some rights, jawbreaker. She tries for a tag, but Piper sends her to the apron. Naomi rolls towards the corner, stands, and Piper hits a huge splash. Enziguri from Naomi! She sends Piper into th corner. Tag from Sasha! They both kick Piper in the face. Sasha to the top rope, Piper carches her and hits her with a body slam. Blind tag from Nikki. Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Nikki mounts and punches over and over. She bends Sasha’s arm from behind. Sasha turns into the hold. Nikki with a runnin snapmare. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Nikki locks the head, Piper wants a tag. Nikki hesitates, says she’s got it, don’t worry about it, but Sash escapes, tag to Naomi high kick to Nikki.

Banks knocks Piper off, Sasha rolls forward, almost misses her spot, and they hit their new finisher on Nikki. Pin from Naomi for 1..2…3!!!

Winners: Sasha Banks and Naomi
Worth it.
Total Rating: *****
Match Time: 4:20

Piper yells at Nikki to get her head in the game and take this shit seriously. This is what happens every time. Get your head in the game.

The Miz’s music hits, and he comes out in referee gear. He is all smiles, and we are getting Mustafa Ali vs Ciampa next.


Match 8: Mustafa Ali vs Tommaso Ciampa

Lockup to start. Ciampa backs Ali into the corner. Chop from Ali. He tries for another, but Miz stops him and Ciampa takes advantage. Ali with. Pin, but Miz is slow to count. Doesn’t even drop. Ciampa attacks from. Behind. Ciampa sends Ali to the outside, then hits a clothesline! Ciampa sits on a table and applauds. He sends Ali back in th ring. Ciampa enters, grabs the head, but Ali gets an Inside Cradle. Mi takes his time, barely gets a 1. Lol. Ciampa hits an elbow, then drops an elbow onto the shoulders a few times. Cravat from behind, and Ciampa looks to kill Ali. Ciampa whips Ali into the corner back first. Ali dies. HE is ded.

Ciampa with another cravat from behind as Miz asks him if he wants to give up. Ciampa turns, hits a knee. Whip to the corner, kick out of the corner, hard clothesline from Ali. Ali is up. He blocks a right, nother, hits one of his own. Another, whip to the ropes,reversed, ducks under a back elbow, clubs the forehead. Ali with a chop in the corner. He whips hard, hits a big move on Ciampa. Cover. Miz with the slowest count ever. Only gets a 2.

Ali gets in his face, Ciampa hits a reverse DDT. Cover. 1.2.3! Miz with the fast count!

Winner: Ciampa
Eh…I’m not interested
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: 5:32

Lashley cuts a promo in front of a steel cage/door! Shades of The Attitude Era! Lashley wants Omos in a cage.

We got five minutes left, so I doubt we’re actually getting this match.

Becky comes down for commentary. Asuka makes her entrance, then Bianca.


Match 9: Bianca Belair vs Asuka

Lockup, and Bianca works the left arm. Asuka escapes, reverses, Biana flips out of it, reverses. Asuka kicks the leg, reaches for th roeps, flips out, waist lock, Bianca reverses, slam and a side headlock. Bianca escapes an arm drag, Asuka covers for 1..2.NO!!! Bianca with a tckle sends Asuka down hard as Becky ontinues to talk about her loss. Bianca flips over Asuka, Asuka his a back elbow, kick to the head, Shining Wizard! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Asuka with an arm bar, but Bianca lifts her up and slams her down!

Bianca goes for a springboard, but Becky pulls her legs down and we get a DQ finish.

Winner: Bianca Belair via DQ
Another DQ finish and a tease if there ever was one. We knew it was going down, but it doesn’t make it any better.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:00

Becky enters the ring and kicks Asuka in the face then leaes the ring.

End Show

6.5
The final score: review Average
The 411
The first hour of this episode showed extreme promise. It was tightly wound, full of action, had a good balance, and felt right. Once that second hour hit, though, we went downhill and fast. Once the MVP Lounge hit, the flow of the show became slow and uneventful. Omos vs Lashley is just something I don’t want to see again, even if in a cage. After that, we get the return of Bliss, which was a great visual, but they damaged Sonya heavily just to do it. Asuka’s interviews will either be love or hated, and I lean more towards the hated part, but understand the adoration. We saw a return to form with Cody vs Theory, but even that had a foregone conclusion. Of course, it was great to see Sasha, but I feel cheated having only got a five minute Asuka vs Bianca match. A middle of the road show.
legend

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RAW, WWE, Tony Acero