wrestling / Columns

Cook’s WWE Evolution Report Card

October 28, 2018 | Posted by Steve Cook

Hi, hello and welcome to the WWE Evolution Report Card! I’ll be honest, I forget how to do these things. It’s been so long since WWE presented one of these Network specials from the United States. Not that I’m complaining, I’ll take this schedule over the days when they were doing one every three weeks and they mostly blended together.

WWE Evolution wasn’t meant to be the same kind of show that we typically see. All women all the time. Considering I’ve been one of 411’s biggest cheerleaders for female wrestlers for well over a decade now, you’d think I was super excited for this event. I was more excited for this than the typical WWE show lately, but it’s really tough to get exicted about anything involving WWE these days. You know all the stuff going on with the company, along with what they’ll be presenting later this week. I don’t need to re-hash it here. Not to mention the somewhat questionable booking, presentation of most of the characters & the matches set up.

That all being said…it’s something that a lot of us have waited to see for a long time. I’m going in with an open mind.

We start off with music from Lizzy Hale & Nita Strauss and Michael Cole’s microphone not working. I’d say things are off to a smashing start. Cole is calling the matches with Beth Phoenix & Renee Young tonight. Lilian Garcia, Kayla Braxton & JoJo do the ring announcing.

Trish Stratus & Lita vs. Mickie James & Alicia Fox (w/Alexa Bliss)

Alexa gets to talk before the match and we can hear it, so that’s a highlight. Cole probably is right about Alicia Fox being in the Hall of Fame someday, but I can hear some peoples’ heads exploding with the realization. Lita starts things off against Mickie & then Alicia. She’s more deliberate than I remember. Lita & Trish do some Poetry in Motion. I’m not sure we should go too far down the road of Lita’s history with the Hardys. The fans say Trish still has it, and now we get Trish vs. Mickie, one of the greatest female feuds in WWE history. Fans are hyped. Mickie blocks the first rana attempt out of the corner, but Trish ends up hitting one off the top! Mickie bails out of the ring, but her team’s attempt to head for higher ground is foiled. Alicia inadvertently kicks Mickie down, but Alexa yanks Lita off the ropes before she can hit the moonsault. They work over Lita for a couple of minutes. Alicia’s starting to lose her cool, if she ever had any. Trish gets the hot tag and has a number of headlock takeovers on Mickie. Trish & Mickie go back and forth before Trish hits the Stratusfaction…Alicia was a bit slow to break up the count that time so it looked kinda awkward. Lita had to hit the moonsault though, and Trish puts Mickie away with the Chick Kick! It may or may not have been Lita & Trish’s longest match ever.

Lita & Trish hadn’t been in an official match for a long time, but you could tell they’d been working on things. They were ready to go. Mickie was solid & Alicia was Alicia. Good way to open the show, the fans were beyond hyped.

Grades
Team Bestie: B+
Fox Country: B-

The Bellas induct Ronda Rousey’s mother into the Bella Army. Nikki is a Do-Something Bella! Bit of a mixed reaction to the promo though I think I detected more cheers.

Historic Women’s Battle Royal Featuring Naomi, Michelle McCool, Sonya Deville, Alundra Blayze, Carmella, Zelina Vega, Kelly Kelly, Tamina, Ember Moon, Lana, Maria Kanellis, Mandy Rose, Molly Holly, Dana Brooke, Nia Jax, Ivory, Asuka, Torrie Wilson, Peyton Royce & Billie Kay for a shot at the Raw or SmackDown Women’s Champion

Fortunately we get all the entrances, some more abbreviated than others. I’m wondering why the Spanish & German announce teams don’t have any female representation. OH MY GOD IT’S A CUTE BABY WITH MIKE KANELLIS. Miz looks more excited for Asuka than he usually does for himself, which is saying something. Billie & Peyton get the chance to run the women in the ring down on the microphone, which ends up with them getting eliminated pretty much immediately by the senior women in the match. Then they get surrounded by the current women, and all heck breaks loose. Mandy & Sonya knock Molly out of the match, then focus on Kelly Kelly, taking her out too. Torrie Wilson goes after them, which ends in her elimination. Sonya’s on the apron, and Mandy takes the opportunity to knock her out. Maybe not the smartest move. Alundra goes bye bye thanks to Nia Jax. Maria goes right after Nia and does a bronco buster on Tamina. A headbutt from Nia sends her out. Tamina starts beating people up and then faces off with Nia. Lana interrupts it twice, trying to make peace. That doesn’t end well, and on Lana Day of all days. We get a multiple vertical suplex spot. Dance Time with Carmella! Ivory joins in! Mandy Rose breaks it up and tosses Ivory on the apron, but Carmella tosses Mandy out instead. Ember suplexes Dana out, and Dana lands hard on the ring apron. Michelle deposits Carmella on the toip turnbuckle, then Ember jumps into a big boot. Michelle goes out shortly after, but I’d rather watch her than Undertaker at this point. Naomi gets launched into the lights by Tamina. Ember’s slam attempt on Carmella doesn’t go great. Carmella finally goes out thanks to Ember.

Nia, Asuka, Tamina, Ivory & Ember are left. Ivory with a crossbody block on Tamina. She might still have it, but Asuka sends her out anyway. Asuka & Ember seem to have a similar taste in hair dye. Somewhat shockingly, it’s Ember eliminating Asuka! Tamina takes her down with a slam. The fans are siding with Ember, which makes sense as she’s against the two biggest people in the match. Total Eclipse to Tamina, and Ember dumps her out! Nia & Ember are friends, but there’s a title shot on the line here. Nia hits some moves early, but it’s Ember trying to pull Nia out…oh wait, Zelina Vega is still here! She tries to eliminate both of them, but they land on the apron. Whoops. Nia presses Vega & deposits her on top of Tamina. So it’s Nia & Ember again. Ember runs out of steam, and Nia Jax wins the battle royal. The Rock’s mother is at ringside & she approves. It’s been a tough week for the Samoans so it’s nice to see them get a win here.

That was a fun little piece of business. I feel a win could have gotten Ember to the next level, so they may have missed an opportunity there. Then again, it’s not like winning the WrestleMania Women’s Battle Royal did much for Naomi, so who knows.

Mae Young Classic Final: Toni Storm vs. Io Shirai

Rhea Ripley’s applause looks forced. Io is announced correctly here, so that’s good. Many out there believe this match could steal the show, so let’s see if they do so. Toni is just so smooth early on here. Io gets her turn to shine and is impressive as well. So far, this is one of those matches where you just want to watch and not bother typing anything. Which I’m sure makes for incredible reading for you. Io with the moonsault to the floor, but Storm doesn’t stop. Now they annoy me by utilizing a german suplex on the apron. Ugh apron moves! The scourge of the business if you ask me. It takes a lot out of Io, but not enough as she still kicks out of the Storm Zero. What’s the area code of Japan? Io just hit Rey’s move. A springboard sunset flip gets two on Storm. Io goes up for the Asai Moonsault, but Storm gets the knees up and hits another Storm Zero for the three count! The right person won! Well, Rhea doesn’t seem to think so.

Triple H has a trophy while Stephanie McMahon & Sara Amato have flowers. Hugs all around!

Good stuff there. My enjoyment went a little down as they began embracing the modern twists like apron moves & kicking out of finishers, but that’s likely a me problem. Storm obviously has a bright future, and I don’t think Shirai’s going anywhere.

Grades
Storm: A-
Shirai: A-

Eww a Crown Jewel commercial. Get that shit outta here. They ran down the card later in the show and it was just a buzzkill.

Sasha Banks, Bayley & Natalya vs. The Riott Squad (Ruby Riott, Liv Morgan & Sarah Logan)

Riott Squad is all about the horror movie cosplay tonight. It’s a thing. I still think the international announce teams should have mixed in some women. Finn Balor hanging out in the Hugger Section. Liv’s millennial & free spirited ways would certainly annoy Natalya, noted stick in the mud. Sasha & Natalya do the Hart Attack on Liv, so Sarah tags in to see if she can fare better. Bayley with a dropkick around the ringpost is pretty cool, but the Riott Squad makes the right adjustments the second time she goes for it. Psychology! The announcers just have all kinds of information about Morgan & Logan tonight. Interesting stuff. Bayley gets beat down for awhile, and it still continues as the Squad breaks up the tag attempt. Finally, Sasha gets the tag and goes all ham. Sasha takes it to Ruby and they hit the backstabber into the Bayley to belly combo, but Sasha gets pushed into Bayley to break it up. An attempted dive to the outside comes up a bit short & Sasha gets rammed into the barricade for two. Natalya has to break up another pin attempt and Sasha’s in bad shape. Bayley protects Sasha on a top rope move, and it pays off as they can’t get the pin on Sasha. Natalya returns and now she’s going after the Squad. She stacks up Ruby & Sarah for the double Sharpshooter! Liv breaks it up and scores a nearfall. We’re down to Liv & Nattie at the moment, at least until Bayley tags in, hits the elbowdrop, Sasha tags her & hits the frog splash for the three count!

A little spotty at times, but great work from everybody here. Classic trios style is among the best wrestling styles, don’t at me. I thought the Riott Squad did a good job carrying the match here & doing the work.

Grades
BBN: B
RS: B+

NXT Women’s Championship Match: Kairi Sane (c) vs. Shayna Baszler

Shayna keeps going for those chokes early in the match. Makes sense for a submission magician. Sane is bringing the heat, but Baszler eventually gets the advantage. Jeez, that knee in the corner looked pretty brutal. She twists Sane’s arm in several ways I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to twist. Shayna continues the domination, but Kairi has some moments of hope. Kairi locks in a submission of her own for a second, but her arm doesn’t really allow it. Shayna keeps going until a DDT from Sane. No Insane elbow yet since Baszler rolls outside, but an insane cross body block seems in order. Kairi backdrops Shayna into the NXT crew at ringside, including some of Shayna’s Horsewomen friends. And sure enough, Jessamyn Duke tries to involve herself before getting backfisted. Marina Shafir gets up on the apron but gets knocked down. Kairi avoids a submission until a Duke kick from outside, and now Shayna locks in the choke. Kairi fights it, but eventually passes out. We got a new champion!

I’m sure some will complain about the involvement of the other Horsewomen, and it’ll be interesting to see if or when Ronda Rousey has anything to say about it. Decent match, though I didn’t feel it quite as much as the others on the card. I did like the booking though. Baszler doesn’t seem like a good person, and that’s a good thing.

Grades
Sane: B
Baszler: B

SmackDown Women’s Championship Last Woman Standing Match: Becky Lynch (c) vs. Charlotte Flair

Becky is probably the most popular person on this show so far. It just goes to show that when people decide they’re going to believe in somebody, they’re going to do so no matter what. Whether Becky’s right or wrong, telling the truth or not, the fans are going to stay behind her no matter what. Liking Becky is going against what the elite want you to do. This has been a common theme throughout the last couple of years in multiple areas of life. Becky takes control early on and gets out the kendo stick like she’s the Sandman or something. Now Charlotte & Becky are tossing chairs into the ring. Charlotte tries to get a table, but Becky attacks from behind and then goes after her with the chair. Becky does seem to empower the more annoying fans in attendance with the more annoying chants. By the way, we have a match with a ten count gimmick and the fans aren’t doing the “ten! ten! ten!” business. That’s nice of them, especially since these two are suplexing each other on chairs. Becky’s attempt to use a table is foiled, but then Charlotte wants to do a moonsault. She gets it, but the table is all like I AM THE TABLE! Charlotte goes up again, and does the Swanton bomb through Becky and the table! They barely make it back up at 9, so now Charlotte gets a ladder. She gets slammed on it because that’s what happens when you bring a ladder into the ring. Charlotte comes back from that and targets Becky’s knee with the ladder. She locks in the figure 4 & then the figure 8 with some ladder assistance! Becky makes it to her feet using the apron as assistance. They go back and forth on the floor. Becky tries to leave with the title but Charlotte chases after her. They go back to ringside & Charlotte readies the German announce table for destruction. We got a ladder over there too, so this should end badly for somebody. Becky hits Charlotte with the belt & places her on the table…legdrop through Charlotte & the table! Charlotte asks if that’s all she’s got, and Becky brings some more. She buries Charlotte under some chairs, a piece of a table, whatever’s laying around. Charlotte makes it up to her feet somehow. Becky is backing off like a scolded dog, but Charlotte has a kendo stick. She also has a table. A moonsault off the top rope? Nope, it’s Becky rising up and delivering a powerbomb through the table! Charlotte nearly makes it up to her feet, but can’t do it! Becky retains!

Well damn. I would say good luck following that, but Rousey’s star power should help the cause there. In any event, it was quite the slobberknocker. Those two put it all out on the line & held nothing back. It felt like a feud-ender, but I really want to see more.

Grades
Lynch: A
Flair: A

Raw Women’s Championship Match: Ronda Rousey (c) vs. Nikki Bella (w/Brie Bella)

Brie has a flag now! I’ll never understand how somebody can hate the Bellas. They’re simply the best in the world at what they do. Nikki’s trying to play Ronda’s grappling game early and it’s not going great. Now when Brie gets involved is Nikki’s game. Nikki & Brie each bounce Ronda off the ringpost, and Nikki takes the advantage. Headscissors & some pushups! Nikki working the abdominal stretch, kind of an octopus variation. Ronda darn near drops Nikki on her head to break it up. Springboard kick by Nikki gets two! She puts Ronda up top, and after an exchange Ronda comes off with a cross body that misses! Brie leads the Yes chant outside. Ronda dodges the baseball slide dropkick & Nikki bounces outside. Hope that didn’t jam the neck. Brie tries to distract Ronda while she’s starting a suplex party, but she gets both Bellas on her shoulders & dumps them down. Ronda goes crazy on Nikki throwing her around & such. Back suplex sends Nikki tumbling outside. Brie with a forearm, but she gets tossed onto the English announce team! Nikki with an Alabama Slam for two! Rack Attack 2.0! Aw dang it gets a 2 count. Ronda comes back, and it doesn’t last much longer. The armbar finishes it. Well, for tonight anyway. Nikki says it isn’t over. Nia Jax is shown watching backstage. Lots of things moving ahead. The roster comes out to celebrate with Ronda…how nice of them!

Nikki Bella is still awesome, I don’t care what y’all say.

Grades
Rousey: B
N. Bella: B

Final Thought

Whatever complaints one had about the card or the build had to be put aside tonight. Whether Evolution is on the same level as one of the major shows or not, the workers sure treated it like it was. WWE does a lot of things wrong (they did some right tonight, wrong still holds the edge lately), but I’ll never hold it against the wrestlers that are the backbone of the business.

So do they stick a 2 on the end of Evolution next year?

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