Csonka Reviews This Week’s GFW XPLOSION Matches (Vol. III)

Csonka Reviews This Week’s GFW XPLOSION Matches (Vol. III)

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– KM defeated Jake Holmes @ 5:15 via pin [*]
– Tyrus defeated Mahabali Shera @ 5:45 via pin [*]
– Andrew Everett & Octagoncito defeated Davey Richards & Demus @ 5:44 via pin [***]

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KM vs. Jake Holmes: Holmes is a graduate of the ROH dojo, and has had around 100 matches. KM slaps around Holmes, connects with corner attacks and then stomps on his face. Holmes tries to battle back and pick up the pace, but just runs into a clothesline. KM takes it to the floor, slows the action but Holmes cuts him off. He looks for a suicide dive, but runs into a forearm smash. KM then yells a lot, which is likely the best thing he does, although I have no desire to hear him talk. KM manages to slow the action even more, which I didn’t think was possible. Holmes tries another comeback, but gets cut off. KM finishes with his shit version of project Ciampa. KM defeated Jake Holmes @ 5:15 via pin [*] There are good and interesting ways to do squash matches, and then there’s what KM did. I can’t imagine him laying this out in the back, and every one nodding their heads in approval and saying that it sounded good. After watching this, all I can image is that someone told him to go out there and put on the least impressive and most boring 5-minutematch you can have. KM is a big dude, easily bigger than 90% of the guys he faces, why they just can’t have him hit the ring, hit all of his cool shit and power moves, and quickly move on is beyond me. The art of the squash match continues to die at the hands of those who have no idea how they work.

Tyrus vs. Mahabali Shera: They stall a bit to begin, lock up and work to the ropes. Shera with the clean break, but Tyrus hits an arm drag and celebrates. Shera tries to slam Tyrus, but Tyrus fights that off; Shera then mocks the old funkasauraus dance and Tyrus heads to the floor. Back in and Tyrus misses a corner charge, allowing Shera to lay in rights. Tyrus shoves him away, connects with elbow drops and then lays the boots to him. The XPLODER follows, and then hit a corner splash. Tyrus mocks Shera’s shuffle, and now Shera fires up and lays in rights to Tyrus, and then hits a body slam. Shera hits another slam, struggling as Tyrus looked to sandbag him. Tyrus low blows Shera, slams him off the buckles and locks in a Mongolian choke and hits the chokeslam for the win. Tyrus defeated Mahabali Shera @ 5:45 via pin [*] This was everything you could hope for from a match between 44-year old unmotivated Tyrus and Mahablai Shera. But I should give credit to Shera, it has to be extremely difficult wrestling while Borash was giving him a blow job the entire match; discussing how he had an amazing tour of India, how he’s a new and focused performer working better than ever. I appreciate Borash doing his job to get the guy over, unlike Josh Mathews, but keep it a bit realistic. This was worse than ROH commentary praising the in ring abilities of Mandy Leon & Brandi. They could have worked at the very least a solid hoss match, with two mean guys trying to kill each other but they didn’t.

Davey Richards & Demus vs. Andrew Everett & Octagoncito: Octagoncito is a very popular mini. Demus is technically a mini, but in reality he’s just a little fella, about the same size as Richards. Everett and Richards to begin, they start off working at a nice clip, Octagoncito tags in and does a bunch of kip ups and poises, flustering Richards. Demus tags in, they have worked together a ton and so they just play the hits, working a really fun back and forth segment. Everett in, Richards is pissed as they dropkick him to the floor. Everett hits a RANA on Demus and sends him to the floor. Richard cuts off Everett, allowing he and Demus to take control. Richards grounds the action, but Everett mounts a comeback and hits a PELE. Octagoncito and Demus tag in, Octagoncito hits the satellite head scissors and follows with a suicide dive. Everett hits a missile dropkick on Richards and then he and Octagoncito double team Demus, Everett hits a lionsault and Octagoncito hits a leg drop for a the near fall as Richards makes the save. Everett tosses Richards to the floor, while Octagoncito hits a head scissors into a roll up on Demus for the win. Andrew Everett & Octagoncito defeated Davey Richards & Demus @ 5:44 via pin [***] So far I have enjoyed how GFW has used Octagoncito & Demus, because they are wrestling and not doing tedious “comedy” bullshit like Swoggle. This was another short match, but was energetic, fun and overall a good little sprint. It was easily the best of the three matches here.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

3.0

The final score: review Bad

The 411

As a whole, not a good collection of matches, but Davey Richards & Demus vs. Andrew Everett & Octagoncito was a lot of fun.