Csonka’s TNA Impact Review 06.10.15

Introduction
As a reminder, this will not be another traditional recap, but instead it will be a mash up of the Rs, Instant Analysis and my usual Twitter ramblings I would do during the shows; completely uncensored and as the ideas flow unfiltered to the old keyboard. Remember, this is a review; and I am here to review the show. As always, I encourage discussion and even disagreement, just do so in a respectful manner. I will be doing the review for Raw and most PPVs and iPPVs going forward.

TNA Impact Review 06.10.15: Destination X

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– TNA World Title Match: Champion Kurt Angle defeated Rockstar Spud @ 8:32 via submission [**¾]
– X-Division Title Match Qualifier: Low Ki defeated Manik and Crazzy Steve @ 3:30 via pin [*¾]
– X-Division Title Match Qualifier: Tigre Uno defeated Mandrews and DJ Z @ 5:25 via pin [**¼]
– X-Division Title Match Qualifier: Grado defeated Cruz and Kenny King @ 5:12 via pin [**]
– Bram defeated Crimson @ 4:27 via pin [**]
– TNA World Title Match: Champion Kurt Angle defeated Austin Aries @ 17:57 via submission [****]

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* Christy Hemme was about to introduce the TNA Title match, but Ethan Carter III came to the ring and dismissed her. He’s pissed because he is #1 contender and still undefeated, but not in a title match. The man does have a point, and then opts for a sit down strike. This led to Angle arriving and telling Carter to basically fuck off. Carter ended up leaving after angle threatened to snap his ankle in half, and as Carter left, Spud made his way to the ring for our title match.

TNA World Title Match: Champion Kurt Angle vs. Rockstar Spud: Angle dominated early with the mat wresting, but Spud made use of his speed to turn the tide and send Angle to the floor. Unfortunately Spud leapt into an overhead belly to belly and went splat on the floor. Obviously we have different talent involved, but this felt similar to Angle working Rey at times. Dominating with the wrestling and throws, but Spud fining ways to use his speed and high flying. The turning point for Spud looked to be a flip dive to the floor, which connected to the back of Angle’s neck. But Angle did the run up suplex as Spud was on top for a near fall. Angle sold good frustration here, as Spud laid in some of the softest forearms I have seen in some time. Spud did get to escape the ankle lock, and then hit the underdog for a near fall that did not get the reaction that they wanted. Angle then got the ankle lock and grapevine and Spud had to tap. They worked a perfectly fine opening match here, but it lacked any drama or real vibe that Spud could win. I was really waiting for them to build to that one spot where we all bought Spud could win, but I never felt they accomplished it. This was solid stuff, but really only served to set up Angle as the weakened champion facing Aries later tonight. Spud’s a great underdog, but I don’t think the booking was strong enough to showcase that here. Also the crowd just did not buy into the face vs. face match, which really told me that this was not the right call.

* Dollhouse comes to the ramp and says that if Kong wants a title match, she will give her a shot in a lingerie pillow fight. Taryn has pink lingerie for Kong, and if she doesn’t wear it, she doesn’t get the shot.

X-Division Title Match Qualifier: Low Ki vs. Manik vs. Crazzy Steve: This is the first qualifier to get to Ultimate X to crown a new X-Division champion. I liked the action when it was Ki vs. Manik, Crazzy Steve is a guy that tends to annoy me most times. He was fine here but there are a lot of other guys that they could have on the roster instead of him. This likely would have been better as a singles, but then again when you only get 3:30 or so, it doesn’t really matter. The match really had no flow, nor was it exactly a wild pace with a lot of classic X-Division moves. It was three guys, doing moves and then one winning in an overall unspectacular outing. You can’t say you’re going to highlight the division and then give them that little bit of time.

* Grado warms up backstage, and he says that he needs to cut the weight and prove that he is X-Division. He then does some “Parkour,” and falls over a production crate.

* We see highlights of last week’s angle where James Storm tried to kill Mickie James. Magnus will be here next week to address the situation, Mathews also informs us that Mickie is in fact, not dead.

X-Division Title Match Qualifier: Tigre Uno vs. Mandrews vs. DJ Z: They worked a much better pace here, keeping the action quick and doing more highflying to keep the crowd invested into the action. They worked hard to avoid the keep two in and one out three-way formula, which was appreciated. Some of the action was a little clunky and out of sync at times, but overall I liked this more than the opener and they certainly tried. They got more time, and made sure to keep things going to make sure this felt more like an X-Division match which helped. Uno almost crushed Mandrews face with the phoenix splash finish, which had to suck. It was better then the first match, but I am not invested in any of these guys due to the promotion’s poor booking of the entire division.

* Post match, Jessie attacked DJ Z and beat his ass and then press slammed him to the floor. DJ Z sold the beating like a complete champ.

* Grado is now wearing a trash bag as a weight-cutting suit. He tries to Tigre Uno and spits and sweats all over him. Uno calls him a jackass.

Lingerie Pillow Fight Knockouts Title Match?: Taryn, Jade and Belle sit on a bed in the ring and she hypes up her match with Kong, and her lingerie. She’s tough and sexy you see. Kong comes out but not wearing the lingerie Taryn picked out for her. Taryn throwing a fit that Kong was ruining playtime was humorous. Jade and Belle shit talked Kong, which was a mistake as Kong kicked the hell out of them at ringside. Kong beat down the minions, and Taryn demanded to be announced the winner but this led to Brooke coming to the ring. Brooke said that she was ruining the division, and challenged her to a match. Taryn was completely annoying in a good way, and they brawled. Brooke really just beat her up and tried to rip her robe off, and did. Brooke played bullfighter with the robe, and Taryn covered up and ran to the back. Brooke vowed to take the title from her, which makes sense following last week’s angle where they set up Brooke as the next challenger. I got what they were doing here, and Taryn did some good, annoying character work here, which made you hate her pretty well. Some of the talking was rough, and it felt out of place on the X-Division themed show, but the overall vibe worked as Taryn got put in her place and Brooke looks to be the next challenger.

* Roode and Aries talked backstage about the Dirty Heels being back, and then Roode reminded him that he gets the first title shot when he wins. These guys between feuding and teaming and feuding and teaming again have developed a really good chemistry out of the ring as well as in it.

* Grado is ready to weigh-in, because he thinks he has to make weight for the X-Division. Borash and the ref are there, Grado strips down to get on the scale and they then inform him that he’s not overweight because there is no weigh-limit. Comedy.

X-Division Title Match Qualifier: Cruz vs. Grado vs. Kenny King: Cruz is one half of the Los Ben Dejos tag team with Jay Rios, they work a lot in Florida (FIP). If you haven’t picked up on it, Grado is a comedy wrestler that was part of British Boot Camp II and also wrestled Al Snow on the TNA UK tour. King controlled early and Grado’s weight became part of the match because he was too big for Cruz to suplex. King hit the royal flush on Cruz, Grado then got involved and King couldn’t lift him because he’s fat you see, comedy guys. Grado tossed King to the floor, and hit the corner cannonball on Cruz to pick up the win. It was another match that was just there for me, and while I get that it’s his character, the comedy stuff killed it for me especially since Grado won and will now compete for the title. Maybe if they had actually been booking the division in a constructive manner and Grado had been part of the programming instead of fitting a bunch of wacky videos I would feel differently and actually care about him. But as of now, he’s a comedy guy shoehorned into the title match because management thinks he’s funny.

* Bram has assaulted a cameraman backstage and stole his camera. He hated Destination X and is headed to the ring to make history.

* Bram hates the X-Division and hates the past, so he calls out any former TNA talent to face him. He plans to re-write history, and waits on someone to come and… Crimson is back.

Crimson vs. Bram: This was a big old brawl, starting in the ring and spilling to the floor. Crimson more than held his own, and got a near finish using the rings of Saturn. Bram got the ropes to escape, but was about to fall to the move again but Bram tried to bite his hand off. That allowed him to hit the implant DDT to score the win. I like Bram, Crimson was fine and only lost because a man tried to eat his hand; this was fine overall but felt out of place in a show that they needed to spend time repairing the X-Division.

* EC3 cuts a promo on Angle, and says he is enraged now. When he throws the first punch, Angle will not get up from it.

TNA World Title Match: Champion Kurt Angle vs. Austin Aries: They worked a ground based open, and then went through the commercial. When we came back, Aries was in control and working over the champion who had already competed tonight. Angle was able to make a comeback, because his suplex game is strong, so he started to toss Aries around with Germans. They both worked for their trademark submissions, and then worked a big series of counters to all of their signature stuff and then went into some rally good near falls. Angle missed a moonsault late and Aries locked in the last chancery, only for Angle to make the ropes. That was a really good desperation spot there. Aries hit the 450 for another really good near fall. They just kept the pace going and Aries then got another near fall off of the brain buster. Aries then decided to use the ankle lock, which is always a mistake because Angle countered and got the ankle lock. Aries did escape, but then crashed and burned on the suicide dive attempt, eating the guardrail. Aries managed a desperation roll up, but Angle got the ankle lock and grapevine to score the victory. This was a great main event.

* Post match EC3 laid out Angle and stood tall.

* End scene.

* Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

5.0

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

Outside of Angle vs. Aries, this is a pretty forgettable show overall. As for the X-Division qualifiers, which was supposed to be showcased here, I wish that they would have mixed it up a bit; a singles, a triple threat and maybe a tag (winners get in) to make the matches feel as if they had their own identity. The three triple threat matches all sort of ran together for me. The other thing is that they threw these matches out there and just hoped that people would care. They really should have moved Destination X back a bit, allowed time to rebuild these guys and then do the show. Also Spud cashing in on EC3 later on would have come off way better I feel, they had a great match once and I feel that they could do it again. Plus it’s an organic story that the crowd has already been a part of.

I firmly believe that they should have dropped the Knockouts segment as well as the Bram deal and focused on the X-Division and the fact that they were setting up guys to challenge for that vacant title. You can’t just throw out nine guys and give them 15-minutes total and repair the division that has been, if I may be so crass, completely shit on and abused. So far the title match features the comedy guy doing a fat gimmick (that’s what they did here), the luchadore that they have no clue what to do with besides make him lose 99% of his matches and the longtime veteran of the division. I’m not impressed overall by the effort to help the division tonight, it’s depressing actually.

Also, they have two more shows until Slammiversary and they announced NOTHING official tonight. Sure we can figure on certain matches, but if you are going to do a PPV, could we possibly build to it and actually announce matches? That’s been part of TNA’s problem for years, it has never been the talent, it has been the lack of promotion and booking. Yes, I can speculate and say they will have the X-Title match, Tag Title match, Taryn vs. Brooke, Storm vs. Magnus and Angle vs. EC3 but I watch every week. If you are only doing two to three PPVs a year, you need to push the hell out of them and announce matches for the show!

Angle and Spud is good, but all you need to see is Angle vs. Aries.