EL DANDY~! Tape Review: Best Of Starrcade 83-87

-Keeping the theme of the tapes Barron sent me, this is a compilation of all the classic matches from the first four years of the Starrcade spectacular. Just so you know, this is wrestling from 20 years ago, which means that the pace is usually slower and more methodical. But this is what pure pro wrestling is all about, so here we go.

-Your host for this event is Magnum TA, who if he didn’t get in a car wreck, would be just as talked about as some of the other wrestlers from that late 80s era of the NWA.

Starrcade 83

–Dog Collar Match-Greg “The Hammer” Valentine © vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper-If you love blood, then this is the match for you!!! You absolutely LOVE how the announcers are talking about how dangerous the chain is. Piper had an ear injury, messing him up a little bit, so that would be the focus. They play tug-of-war with their necks to start out with, which is sweet, because it’s talking about how powerful that neck would be. Piper whips Greg with that chain to start out with and the crowd is POPPIN’. Greg tries the same thing, but Piper moves out of the way. Now they come face to face and trade rights before going back to a standard base. Piper gets some whipping in and he works over Greg. That chain is being used big time. Valentine gets crotched and he FLOPS~! Valentine works the ear, slings him to the mat, and wraps the chain around Piper’s EYES. That’s cool. Valentine gets the elbows and he’s going to that ear. Piper wraps the chain around Greg’s MOUTH now, and then his nose. Piper actually looks young in this match. Which is nice to see. Piper wraps it around the ringpost, and ties Greg up in the corner, and now he can just work over him. Valentine is bleeding as he chokes Piper out. Piper rolls out and they exchange chain shots and right hands. They go the apron and Valentine uses an opportunity to nail Piper in that ear with the chain, and he knocks the ref down, too. Greg is PUMMELING that ear. Piper’s ear is bleeding as Valentine stands in the ring and kicks that ear. Now Valentine pulls him in and pounds that ear again. Never in my life would I think that there would be a match with EAR psychology. Gordon Solie is the greatest announcer ever, because his sense of the human body is just absolutely outstanding. Instead of head, he’ll say the lobes of the skull that are being punished. And suplex being said like “su-play” is just great to hear. Piper tries to fight back, but Greg just goes back to that ear. Valentine drops that big elbow and gets a 2 count, first pin of the match. Another elbow drop gets 2. Piper pulls Valentine down with the chain, rushes him, and beats the ever-living hell out of him. Piper sess blood and whoops Greg with that chain as Valentine FLOPS~! Valentine is in trouble as Piper drops the fist. Now Greg comes back, but Piper comes out with some boxing punches, and now the right hands. HUGE haymakers. Valentine chokes and Piper goes down. Now Valentine drops a knee for a 1 count. Valentine tries a couple more times for 2. Fistdrop from Valentine, but again Roddy gets out. Valentine with a suplex attempt, but Piper blocks and gets his own. 10 count is on, and they both get up. Piper with the rings hands, but Greg with the elbows. Corner whip, and Valentine gets the SLEEPAH~! Solie talks about how the carotid artery isn’t being pressured, so Piper can get out. Which is SO true. Solie’s knowledge about the body parts is just unbelievable. I loved him as an announcer. Valentine with an elbow from the second rope. Drops another one, but Piper pulls Greg off and pummels him with it, then ties up his legs and pins him. That was such a fluke win! Piper is hoisted on shoulders and such, but Valentine decides that Piper didn’t deserve it, and Valentine chokes Piper out. Girls are SCREAMING at Valentine to stop. Now THAT is a butt-whooping. I like it!

–NWA World Tag Team Titles-Jack and Jerry Brisco © vs. Ricky Steamboat and Jay Youngblood-You gotta love the fact that 15 years after this match, Gerald can be looked at as Vince’s stooge. Oh yeah, the Briscoes could wrestle, too. Steamer and Jack start it off. Tie-up, to the corner, and clean break. Brisco just plays to the fans because he can. You love the cheap heat in this match. They run the ropes and Steamer is-a leapfrogging, and Jack decides to hold up so he doesn’t get chopped. Now Jerry is in as they work the arm, but Ricky droptoes him and he tags in Jack. Jack with the hammerlock, but Ricky flips out and hits a DEEP armdrag. Now Jerry comes in, tie-up, to th corner, but Jerry throws the elbows. Jerry tries to take Steamer out of the corner, but Steamer holds on. Jerry with a shot to the breadbasket, and then he whips Ricky pillar to post, but Ricky runs Jerry to the corner. Steamer with the CHOP OF DOOM, and then the big right hand, and then a headlock. Tag Youngblood, and he gets the hiptoss to the side headlock. To the corner, but it’s broken up. Jay with the standing keylock, but Jerry slams out of it, so Jay holds on. A couple pinning attempts beofre Rick is tagged in, goes to the top, and comes down on that arm. Big chop, an armwringer, and a tag to Youngblood, who comes off the top onto the arm. Jay knocks Jack down so Jerry can’t make the tag, and a tag to Ricky. Jerry gets the boot up, and now the Briscos are working him over. Hot shot for Ricky, and then a snapmare into the kneedrop. Rear chinlock, and I take this time to say Ricky’s mannerisms in the way he punches and in the way he sells is just great. Standing base, and they run the ropes until Jerry gets a back body drop and a side butterfly suplex, and then Jerry bridges a few times for two counts from that German Suplex position. Rear waistlock procured. To the ropes, but now a hiptoss from Jerry into a short armscissors. Steamer does the old Bob Backlund stand up and slam, and we are SO ready for a hot tag. Tag Jack, but TAG YOUNGBLOOD. HOUSE OF FIRE AND SUCH. Big chop for Jack, but he gets a suplex, and then Jack works the back, and then a tag for Jerry. Double whip into a double shoulder tackle. Jerry with a knee drop to the neck for 2. Jerry wants a suplex, and gets it, but only for 2. Jerry with some lefts, and then an abdominal stretch roll up for 2. He pushes special ref Angelo Mosca, but Mosca pushes him back. Tag Rick, and he is CLEANING house with chops and such. Tag for Youngblood, and a double chop. Tag Ricky, and a double-team dropkick. Tag to Jay, and they do their double team press slam splash for the win and the titles. Mosca and the champs get taken out afterwards. Nice match. Very fast-paced match.

–Cage Match: NWA World Heavyweight Title-Harley Race © vs. “Nature Boy” Ric Flair-So of course, you got Harley Race, who is fat, has a fro, and is SURLY AS HELL against a YOUNG Ric Flair (33 years young), and then throw in the legendary Gene Kiniski as YOUR special guest referee, and THAT, my friends, is a main event. And so, “A Flair For the Gold” begins, as Flair woos his way into the hearts of the fans as they circle, lock up, and break up again. They trade shots and Flair gets a headlock, but Race gets a knee to the gut and argues with Kiniski. So Flair comes back and does the same thing, and then snapmares to the facelock. Race whips Flair in off the facelock and gets the JUMPING KNEE. That move is semi-death like! Oh, and HHH needs to watch Race or Jumbo throw a jumping knee…Race misses the headbutt, and Flair hits a chop, but no count. Headlock takeover, but Race rolls him over a couple of times. How funny is it that 20 years ago, Solie was saying that if it went a long time, it was RACE who had the advantage, when now-a-days everybody knows Flair was in such great condition that going 45 minutes was never a problem? Flair switches to the front chancery for a count or two, and he brings Race up for a suplex, but RACE suplexes him for 2. Nice little counter there. Race again misses the headbutt, but shifts his weight on a slam for 2. Race drops the knee on the forehead and then one on the throat to choke him. Kiniski pulls him off as Race is like, “SHUT UP OLD MAN!” and then works over Flair in the corner before choking him again. Flair gets a piledriver, and Flair sells it like DEATH. Race with an AWA as all hell elbow drop for 2. Swinging neckbreaker gets 2. Race with some knees, and waits for Flair to get up, and then throws him to the cage, and then powerslams him for 2. Flair comes back with some rights, but Race headbutts him down. He drops another one. Flair goes to the cage again, but Flair gets a kick to the stomach. Race takes him to the steel again. Flair gets taken to the corner again, but Kiniski pulls him off and WE GOT A BLEEDER. Flair with a right hand as the crowd EXPLODES! And a chop, and a bionic elbow, and then some right hands in the corner, but Flair gets pulled off, so Race headbutts him. To the corner again. Irish whip is reversed and Race eats steel. Flair takes him to the cage, and Flair is now in control. Snapmare into his kneedrop, and RACE is bleeding. I love this match. FLAIR PILEDRIVER! DEATH! Only gets 2. Flair with a neck crank, and then the SWANK Butterfly Suplex. Race eats the cage, as Kiniski tells him off. Flair don’t care because he’s the NATURE BOY! And does it again. So Kiniski does it again! So Flair tells him off again, and then Race headbutts Flair kinda low. Flair gets treated like cheese against the cage, and Flair eats steel again, and then Race headbutts him. Flair tries to use a closed fist, but Kiniski says no, so Race hits HIM with a closed fist. BRILLIANCE. Flair comes back and chops him down for 2. Flair hits an AWA elbowdrop BETTER than Race and then lays in the rights in the mount. Flair whoos, and he has the crmison mask. BACKDROP! And NOW…WE GO TO SCHOOL! Figure-four, as Solie dishes that classic line: “Race can settle for one of two things: A broken leg or a broken ankle.” Solie was the man. Reversal, but they get to the ropes. Race headbutts but Flair counters his suplex for 2. Race headbutt, and Race IS NOT AFRAID to dive FACE FIRST into Flair’s face. That’s absolutely great. It only gets 2. Race with the suplex for 2. Race pounds away and drops the knee. Flair’s white hair is red, so this match is already ruling it hard. To the steel again. Kiniski is trying to hold Race back, but he still chokes Flair with his boot. Kiniski pulls Race away BY HIS FRO! Uh oh…Flair reverses a suplex into his own, and then misses an elbowdrop. Race goes to the headlock, and he headbutts Kiniski, so Flair goes off the ropes and gets kneed. Flair fights back, scrambles to the top, and comes off with the cross body! RACE SEMI-TRIPS OVER KINISKI!!! ONE! TWO! THREE! New champion!!! Flair wins #3 and the fans are absolutely ERUPTING! The babyfaces all come in and celebrate with Flair. Flair gives a speech. This match absolutely ruled it. I think the ending looked kinda botched. I’m not sure as to what extent, but this match was just great. See this match. Please. For me? Oh man. The graphic that appears on the screen to say that Flair is the new champ is older than I am and I STILL love it! And yes, that belt that Flair holds is the same belt that TNA currently uses for their belt. If you love the old school wrestling…you love this match even before watching it. So watch it to increase your LOOOOOVE.

Starrcade 84

–NWA World TV Title: Tully Blanchard © vs. Ricky Steamboat-How would you like to see Ricky do what he does best, and that’s be an agressive babyface, against Tully doing what he does best, and that’s cheat like hell to win? Then THIS is the match for you. Big ol’ brawl to start and Steamer wins that one. Snapmare and Ricky drops the chop. Outside in suplex and another chop drop for 2. Steamer with the rear chinlock. Blanchard tries to toss through it, but Ricky holds on. Blanchard misses a bunch of stuff and Steamer hits a knee lift. Now they circle, and Blanchard looks kinda sneaky. And there’s the right hand to Steamer’s ribs. Those ribs seem hurt, and then Blanchard hits a rib breaker and some kicks to the ribs. I think Steamboat’s ribs got hurt before this match. Blanchard whips him in and elbows him in the ribs. More kicks to Steamer. Blanchard’s gettin cocky, and then he works him over in the corner, but Steamer kicks him off, and he’s coming back. Steamer chops Blachard down, drops the knee twice, and gets 2. Chinlock procured. Blanch goes over the ropes to break (!) as Ricky holds on, but Blanchard hits a right hand, a released backdrop, and a kidney punch before Steamer comes back to that chinlock again. They circle again, and Blanchard is just playing with Steamer. I like it. Blanchard’s stallin like Larry Zybysko in there. They finally lock up, and they run the ropes, and Steamer’s leapfroggin’ and powerslammin’ and whoopin’ ass. DOUBLE CHOP! Gets 2. Corner stuff again, and Blanchard is reeling. Chop gets 2. Blanchard is doing the whole “Drunk Puncher” thing. Steamer is just whooping Tully BAD. Chops in the corner. Swinging neckbreaker gets 2. Steamboat hits TULLY’S SLINGSHOT SUPLEX!!! Oh man…that’s BRILLIANT. Gets 2. BEAUTIFUL dropkick gets 2. Blanchard rolls to the apron and Steamer hits a right hand as Tully pulls out the knucks. Big right misses, so Steamer backdrops him in…and eats the knucks in mid air. Of course, Tully rolls over so that the ref can’t see it. Running crossbody gets 2. Tully starts takin over again, and puts Ricky on top. Ricky pushes Blanchard off the top, and Ricky hits the big splash for 2. Whip reversed, and Ricky sunset flips, but Tully hast the knucks, and the ref never sees them…BAM! Nighty night, Ricky. Tully retains. Tully was a GREAT heel. Fun as all hell match. LOVE IT!

–NWA World Heavyweight Title: “Nature Boy” Ric Flair © vs. Dusty Rhodes-You gotta love the fact that Joe Frazier is the special ref right here. Especially with Dusty, a blade freak, wrestling in an important match…ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I smell something stinky. A million dollars goes to the winner. Basic stuff to start. Lockups, rope sequences. Dusty gets the headlock, and a clean break. They trade chops and punches as Dusty gets control with jabs and a double punch. Back to that headlock. SOMETHING ELSE, DUSTY! They run the ropes again, and Dusty gets some elbows before Flair comes back with kicks and chops and a kneedrop. Flair misses the second kneedrop and Rhodes slaps on Flair’s Figure-Four. Blasphemy. Flair gets to the ropes as Dusty comes back to work that knee. Flair pounds away to break. Another headlock, but Flair turns it into a top wristlock, reversed by Dusty, into an armbar. Ric backs to the corner and they battle. Bionic Elbow, and Flair battles back, but Dusty catches a press slam, albeit sloppy. To the corner, where Dusty gets control, and Flair FLIPS! Rhodes suplexes him back in for 2. Frazier tried to stop it. They run the ropes again, but Dusty eats a back elbow. Flair goes to the top…and uh, yeah. You know the drill. Elbow drop misses. Whp reversed, and Flair gets a sleeper, and Dusty whps him outside. They battle on the outside, and Dusty hits the post. Flair goes back in, and Dusty blades BAD, which was probably what he did best. Frazier tries to take a look, and Flair charges, snapmares Dusty down, and pounds on the cut. Flair comes back, and keeps pounding away. Frazier comes in between again, and Flair keeps whoopin ass. Dusty comes back, kinda, but Frazier wants to stop this. Frazier stops the match. I KNEW IT!!! Yeah. That match sucked.

Starrcade 85

–I Quit Cage Match-NWA US Title-Tully Blanchard © vs. Magnum TA-People talk about Foley, Funk, Tommy Dreamer, and they say that those guys are hardcore. I challenge those people to watch this match, and then think to themselves if their prior convictions still hold truth. They start fighting like it’s the 4th grade or something, and Tully gets a couple moves in to take over, but then Magnum and him start trading haymakers full of HATE AND CONTEMPT and Tully tumbles to the cage. TA works him there until Blanchard elbows off and comes off the ropes. Baby Doll screams. Well that certainly adds to the drama…Tully takes Magnum to the cage and procures the rear chinlock as Magnum BLEEDS. Magnum powers out…and takes a knee to the kidney. HA! Whip reverses and Magnum drops him across the top rope and throws some haymakers, but Tull takes him to the steel, and grabs the mike, and asks, but Magnum fights him off. Magnum pushes Tully to the steel shoulder first twice, and then he rips at the shoulder and Tully’s shoulder is bleeding. Magnum gets the mike and Tully answers with a headbutt to the stomach. Well, that’s what I would do. They trade shots and Magnum goes for the arm again, but Tully gets a shot in and both men are bleeding and I love the violence and so do you. It’s HATE! It’s BRUTALITY! It’s BRILLIANCE! Both men are wobbly, but then Tully takes over with some boots and gets DA STICK~! “SAY IT!” “HELL NO!” THUNK! THUNK! “SAY IT!” “NO!” I LOVE IT. Tully’s entire left arm is red. He just measures TA, and then covers. Forgiven…Stun gun to the cage. Tully goes up and hits an elbow to the head. He gets the mike again! “SAY IT!” “NO!” THUNK! Elbow misses and the CROWD GOES BONKERS ON A MISSED ELBOW. The south fuckin ruled. Excuse my French. TA with the mike. “SAY IT!” “NOOOOOOOO!” THUNK! “SAY IT TULL!” “NO!” Both men roll over on each other like they are back in elementary school, and then Tully digs at the cut because he’s the heel. HUGE haymaker right and Magnum is dazed. Both men are on their knees and they just kick each other’s ass before Tully drops. TA gets the mike again. Tully kicks it out of his hands. Magnum with the 10 Punch, and Tully with the inverted Atomic Drop. Classic. Tully gets the mike again. THUNK! THUNK! “SAY IT!” “NOOOOO!” THUNK! Elbow. And again. Knee to the leg. Elbow. Ref is tossed. And Baby Doll tossed in a chair made of balsa wood inside and it shatters and Tully breaks it some more and tries to jam it into Magnum’s eye. The ref is down again and Magnum fights back with some knees until Tully stops trying, and then he gets it himself and just starts digging into Tully’s forehead, who screams and yells like’s being carved up with a piece of wood being stuck into his forehead. Tully screams, “YESSSS!” and this brutal, bloody, absolutely masterful piece of wrestling history is over. FMW doesn’t mean shit without a purpose. This had hate, and it had drama, and it had violence and brutality, and this was nearly TWENTY YEARS AGO. It holds up, and probably will forever more. A great match, and even if you don’t like the bloody matches, you must see this match because it will give you the match that defined exactly what a “blood feud” is. Best match on the tape, duh. Tully is STILL screaming after the match is long over. The crowd is absolutely nuked, and we get an extra close replay of it, too. PLASMATIC!!

–Cage Match-NWA World Tag Team Titles-Ivan and Nikita Koloff © vs. The Rock ‘N Roll Express-Screw the Hardy Boyz. The RnR Express, fifteen years earlier, made the Hardy Boyz look like Big Show and Albert. The girls would scream for these guys ALL NIGHT LONG. Morton tries to lock up with Nikita…it ain’t happening, man. Headlock sequence sees Ricky get run over, but still hit a dropkick to stun big Nikita. It’s basically this: Koloffs whoop ass, Ricky avoids, gets move off, takes butt whoopin’. Gibson tags and dropkicks Ivan down and then slams and knees him. Tag back to Morton, and they start cutting off the ring from a tag. SWEET school boy for 2. Never thought you’d hear that ever, did you. Lots of quick tags and double teams and high flying moves from the challengers and I’d think the RnRs were heels in this situation. Oops, Gibson got caught, tag to Nikita. They run the ropes and Gibson eats steel a couple times. Tag Ivan, and he works over Gibson. Gibson is Ricky Morton here, oddly enough…Gibson tries to come back, but there’s a tag to Nikita and he bites and such. We got some bleeders and people are brawling and such and Ivan and Ricky are going at it as the Russians CHEAT TO WIN~! How do you say that in Russian? Couple near falls on Gibson, but Ivan misses a legdrop and tags Nikita. REAR CHINLOCK SITUATED. Nikita scowls. Gibson bleeds. He fights out but tag Ivan. The Bear stomps away but Gibson gets to the ropes. I always misunderstood that rule. Gibson tries but gets pounded again. Ricky gets fired up and such sas the heels cheat. Ricky makes another save. Gibson dropkicks as Ivan pulls down the ref, so Nikita hits a hard lariat for each man, and puts his brother on top. No count. Tag Gibson, who rolls up Nikita on a back body drop and gets the pin and the belts! The Russians and Krusher Kruschev beat up Gibson afterwards. Nice match, but the RnR have done better. But then again, it’s the Koloffs, so they get some brownie points for that one.

Starrcade 86

–Skywalkers Match-The Midnight Express vs. The Road Warriors-Anyone here like a scaffold match? I didn’t think so. You punch, I punch, the Midnights fall off. And you think I’m just cutting things short. No, that’s the entire match. Punching and the Midnights falling off. Oh, and Cornette gets tossed off and REALLY messes up his knee. Giving him a slight limp for the rest of his life.

Cage Match-NWA World Tag Team Titles-Arn and Ole Anderson © vs. The Rock ‘N Roll Express-I mark for Arn and the RnR. Screw Ole. His booking in WCW turned me off so bad I wanted to shoot somebody. This is gonna be GREAT, though, because Arn and Ole would cheat like hell to win a match. I can hardly hear the announcing of the RnRs because of all DA LAAAAAAADIES screaming. It’s deafening. Big brawl to start, and the RnR control. Arn is out as soon as he tags in it seems. The RnR counter most of what Ole throws, and back comes Arn. Ricky takes over and tags in Gibson, but Gibson misses a charge in the corner and hits his knee, so the Andersons start tearing that thing apart. Tag Ole, who stomps and drops his body across the leg, and then he tags in Arn who starts slamming the knee into the mat. Spinning toehold, but Gibson kicks him into the cage. Arn gets the tag and Ole just kills the knee. Gibson tries coming back, but Ole holds on and tags Arn. Arn goes into a toehold as I’m wondering if Gibson and Morton are gonna trade their usual places here. Arn goes knee to knee and talks shit, because he’s ARN ANDERSON. Gibson catches and enzuigiri and rolls for the tag. HOT MAN IN! Right hands, but then he gets stopped cold and rammed into the cage. Ole works him over with right hands and such, and gets a 2 count. And now, they work Morton’s arm. Morton tries to get out of there, but Ole holds on and tags Arn. I absolutely love it. The Andersons are the greatest foes to the RnR not named the Midnight Express. Arn’s a biter. Morton eats steel. Girls scream. I LOVE IT. Ole CHEATS TO WIN~! We got a bleeder. Morton comes back with right hands, but Arn wraps the arm around the ropes to take over. Tag Ole, who works the arm some more and corner whips Morton SHOULDER FIRST. That a kid. Armbar. That’s now treated like a finisher because of the fact that the arm is destroyed. Ole releases to punish even more. Tag Arn. HAMMERLOCK SLAM~! Oh this rules. Arn tries a double axehandle off the second buckle, but Morton gets a right hand to the gut and a DDT…but with the bad shoulder. Ole comes in (without a tag it seems…IT’S EARL HEBNER~!) and rams Morton to the cage shoulder first, and then hits the shoulderbreaker for 2. Ricky tries to fight back, but Ole tags Arn. I love this ringwork. It’s so great. Arn wraps the arm and then whips Ricky in, but Ricky ducks the chop and nails the kneelift. Tag Ole, who locks in a spinning wristhold. Ricky comes back, but Ole stops him and wraps the arm again, and more cheating is abound. I love it. Ricky tries again and again the Andersons tag out. Ricky gets nailed INCHES away from the tag as I’m starting to fall deeply in love with this match. Arn whips Ricky in and misses the left hand but he HITS THE BEST SPINEBUSTER IN THE BUSINESS. Gibson breaks up the pin. Tag Ole, who goes up top and hits a diving knee to the shoulder, and then locks in that armbar again and Ricky Morton is Ricky Morton to the Nth degree. Ricky comes back and whips Ole in off a headlock and we got a double knockout. Tag to Arn, and he stops Ricky from making the tag. He starts cranking the neck, but Ricky punches out of it. Arn does his phantom punch routine as I cry tears of great joy. Ricky crawls…and crawls, but Arn has tagged Ole and he kneelifts Ricky to stop that. Ricky comes back AGAIN with right hands as Ole tries a slam, only to get small packaged for 2 as Arn saves. Gibson’s in and it’s breaking down in DA CAGE. He takes out Arn and when Ole tries to slam Ricky, Robert dropkicks Ricky on top and gets the pin. Ricky Morton is the greatest heat man in the history of the business. Mark my words. Great match, and if you like the RnR or Southern Tags or The Andersons just wrestling in general you want to see this match. Horsemen beatdown after the match, of course.

Starrcade 87

–Cage Match: NWA US Title Match: “Total Package” Lex Luger © vs. Dusty Rhodes-Ay yi yi, Dusty. Lose some weight. The announcer says 270 or so…that is such a lie. Luger looks STACKED. He’s a Horseman right now. Schiavone and Ross are your announcers. Luger takes over and tries to take Dusty to the cage, but Dusty gets a bionic elbow to stop that. They pose. How cute. Rhodes with lefts and the Bionic Elbow, and an Atomic Drop. He tries the Weaver Hold (a version of the sleeper used by Johnny Weaver, who holds the key to the cage at ringside, but it’s basically the same move), but Luger escapes quickly. Luger grinds a headlock. For like a minute. A one minute headlock. Ropes sequence sees Dusty get the Weaver Lock again, but Luger escapes again. Luger with rights but misses the elbow drop, and Rhodes gets the armbar. Five minutes gone and I’m like…bored. Dusty keys the lock now. Must…not…go to sleep…more armwork. Nice psychology, but the match is just…slow. Luger comes back and Dusty eats steel. He bleeds. He eats more steel. Luger nails some rights and the big elbowdrop for 2. Luger works the back for the Torture Rack, but Dusty gets a dropkick, but lands on his back, so Dusty gets backbroken, and Luger tries to get the Torture Rack, but Rhodes gets caught in the cage because he is JUST TOO FAT. Luger chokes and gets a two count. Luger goes…to the arm? Whatever. Cut to the end, when Dillon throws a chair in and Luger goes to pick it up, but I guess he can’t pick it up in less than about 15 seconds, which gives Dusty enough time to DDT him on it and gets the pin for the title win. Next!

–Cage Match: NWA World Heavyweight Title-Ronnie Garvin © vs. “Nature Boy” Ric Flair-Yes kids. Ronnie Garvin had a run with the title, just so Flair could win it back again. Oops, didn’t wanna give away the ending there…or did I? SHADES OF GRAY~! It’s a chopfest to start and Stonehands takes over, causing Flair to FLOP~! and such. Corner back body drop, headbutt, armbar. Now the 10 punch in the corner. Another corner back body drop. And now…THE GARVIN STOMP~! Oh man…how did that move get over? They trade shots and then Flair goes LOW, BABY!!! I love it. Flair with the inverted atomic drop. I think at this point, Garvin’s looking for a job with a boy’s choir somewhere. Flair works Garvin over in the corner, and then Flair gets his rolling kneedrop for 2. He works the knee on the ropes. He works over Garvin in the corner and then gets a kneecrusher right into the figure-four. Garvin’s in trouble. Flair is grabbing the ropes as much as he can because he’s Ric Flair. Garvin reverses, but Flair gets to the ropes to break. Flair keeps killing Garvin’s knee, but Garvin stops Flair from going to the cage, so Flair goes right back to the knee, but again Garvin blocks the cage. Garvin reverses a whip and Flair goes to the cage. And again. And now Flair eats steel. And again. Garvin bites Flair’s forehead. Flair tries to escape, but Garvin makes Flair’s head bounce off that cage again. Flair falls to the mat. Garvin chops, and then Flair hits an elbow and goes up. You guess the rest. Now GARVIN gets the figure-four. Flair gets to the ropes after some two counts. Garvin with a hyper extension to Flair’s knee twice and then they trade chops as Garvin blocks a cage shot again. Garvin goes up top. He looks for the crossbody, but it gets 2. Garvin gets a backslide off a whip for 2. Flair eats cage. Flair sells it like DEATH. Garvin with some more chops. He tries to escape again, but Garvin meets him up top, and Flair gets crotched. Hel ooks for the Super Sunset Flip that won him the belt in Detroit earlier that year, but Flair reverses and holds the ropes, until the referee sees it, so Garvin reverses again for two. He tries the 10 punch again, but Flair runs him into Tommy Young, and Garvin gets the RIGHT HAND KNOCKOUT PUNCH OF AGONY AND DEFEAT! That only gets 2. Garvin tries to hit a crossbody, but Flair rams him into the cage and pins him for title number five. Not a bad match, but not a great match. I guess see it for the Garvin Stomp?

–And back to Starrcade 85 we go, for the match that made the NWA slowly fade away…

–NWA World Heavyweight Title-“Nature Boy” Ric Flair © vs. Dusty Rhodes-Yeah, this match should be just about as good as you could think. I guess they picked this match as the best match out of all the Starrcades. Wow. Once again, Dusty weighs more than advertised, I’m guessing. Flair is getting BOOED TO DEATH. They trade shots and Dusty controls as only Dusty can. Flair rolls outside. Flair chops. Dusty elbows. Flair LEAPFROGS~! Dusty elbows. I sense a pattern. They trade hammerlocks, and then Flair takes control in the corner, and then the kneedrop for 1. He was slow to cover. Ric kicks Dusty’s hurt foot (The Andersons did a number on him) and Dusty takes a sabbatical, but then he comes back in and takes control, working Flair’s knee. Dusty takes his sweet time dropping the elbow on the knee and Ric rakes the eyes. Flair looks to suplex, but Dusty reverses it. He goes back to work on Flair’s knee. They run the ropes and Flair gets the SLEEPER OF DOOM, but Dusty rolls Flair into the turnbuckle, and posts the leg. So why are they switching roles on me like this? Ric Flair is a better Ric Flair than Dusty. And he’s probably a better Dusty than Dusty. Flair goes up top…uh oh. Yep. You know what happens. Flair kicks Dusty off on the figure-four attempt, and Dusty’s foot is HURTING him. Flair tries his version, but Dusty kicks him off. Flair gets worked in the corner and then he does the FLIP~! Dusty posts him on the floor. Flair is now bleeding. Flair tosses Dusty over the top when Young isn’t looking. Dusty with a FAT ASS CROSSBODY for 2. Dusty with right hands-a-plenty and the bionic elbow. Now the 10 punch. Flair FLOPS~! Dusty with a combination. Flair FLIPS~! again, but gets caught in the midsection coming off the top, but Dusty kicks the turnbuckle instead of Flair’s head. And he is in PAIN. Flair works the leg because he’s Ric Flair, and then the figure-four. Dusty sells it like a cross between a whale and a deaf guy. Dusty turns Flair over, but Flair gets to the ropes. Dusty hulks up and does his Dusty thing. Lariat gets 2, but Flair kicks Dusty up onto Tommy Young, and then Dusty throws Flair into him, and Young is on the floor. Dusty wants the figure-four, but Flair kicks him off. Dusty finally gets it, but no Young. Here come the Andersons. Arn gets taken out, but Ole knocks Dusty down. Flair covers, and there’s a new ref, but it only gets two. Dusty then rolls Flair up for the win and the title. The match wasn’t great. It wasn’t bad because of the legwork, but it was JUST…SO…SLOW. Definitely not the Best of this tape, in my book.

Final Thoughts: This tape has it all. You like big time bloody brawls>? You got it. Great tag wrestling? That, too. Ric Flair? Yes. Ronnie Garvin? Yes. I love this tape. If you can somehow find a copy, please go out of your way to do so. You won’t regret it. It’s truly worth it.