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Impact Zone! It’s Thursday Night, which means that we are in for a brand new edition of the delight known as Impact! Coming to us from the taping that took place in San Antonio, Texas, tonight’s episode features reunions, rematches, and the sixth and final spot in the X-Division Title Qualifier is up for grabs.
With Order-4 continuing to fall apart, Jason Hotch and John Skyler will reunite as the Great Hands as they will face TNA International Champion Mustafa Ali and Special Agent Zero. Moose, fresh off of defeating Frankie Kazarian to stay in TNA, will turn his attention to AJ Francis, while the final spot in the Bound for Glory X-Division Match will be determined between BDE and Mr. Elegance.
Elsewhere, two of the most exciting and popular wrestlers in TNA will be in action, as Leon Slater will face Joe Alonzo, and in what could be the match of the night, Ricky Sosa will face Cedric Alexander. Last week, Zoey Serrano told Daria Rae that Indi Hartwell would no make it to her Knockouts Title match at BFG, and tonight, she gets a shot to make good on that threat. And, after weeks of attacks and unmasking last week after attacking Matt and Jeff Hardy again, Joseph Sawyer and Samuel Shaw (known as syX) will speak for the first time.
Tonight’s show and, for that matter, my review of Impact on this evening are in tribute to Benjamin Satterley, otherwise known as Adrian Neville, Neville, or PAC. Passing away period is always heartbreaking, but at the age of 40, it puts my own personal mortality into question, especially with my age falling between both PAC and the late Andy Williams AKA the Butcher. Life is too short, so live every day like you want to live, hug the people who matter to you, and always look to the future and not the past.
But enough about me and enough about you, let’s get ready to brace for Impact!
Tonight, Impact is coming to us from the Lone Star State, with Tom Hannifan and Matthew Rehwoldt on the call!
In memory of PAC graphic opens the show.
We see the Hardys walking! Tom mentions that we will hear from syX later on, and everyone, including Matt and Jeff, will be listening.
And we’re starting off with the X-Division Title match qualifier. BDE is out with Rich Swann, while Iceman makes fun of San Antonio for losing the Battle of the Alamo. Tom wishes that he would have fallen into the river lol.
TNA X-Division Match Qualifier for Bound for Glory: BDE vs. Mr. Elegance
Tom mentions that Mr. Elegance has been undefeated all year until he lost to Rich Swann, and BDE has yet to win a singles match. We get a somber voiceover from both Matt and Tom in respect of PAC.
BDE looks to put this one away early and is in control. BDE looking springboard, but the Swimmer knees him in the face. Mr. Elegance is feeling himself as he chucks BDE to the corner and pops him up into a right hand. Mr. Elegance grounds BDE, Brandon to his feet, he misses a clothesline, and the Swimmer with a German. Basement clothesline gets the man of Elegance a two. Mr. Eleance with one suplex, he rolls through into a stalling suplex for another two.
Matt Riddle’s brother yells at BDE and tells him to stay down. OH SNAP, HE TOOK THE GLOVE OFF, SHIT GOT SERIOUS, Y’ALL! BDE fights him off and hits the Codebreaker, sending Mr. Elegance to the floor. BDE looks to fly, but Mr. Elegance knees him in the head. Outside back in, and Mr. Elegance with a lung blower, looking for Excusez-moi, BDE counters. He’s looking for the Clip Cutter, but the Swimmer catches him. BDE manages to escape and he rolls up Mr. Elegance and he gets his first singles win!
WINNER: BDE
TIME: 4:30
THOUGHTS: I mean, we’ve been over this before with Mr. Elegance in a scramble match when Cedric was the Champion, so why not let BDE get to join in at BFG AND pick up singles win number one? The match itself was fine, but too short to be anything good.
RATING: **1/2
Jason Hotch is applying tape when John Skyler and Mila Moore walk up. Skyler says it’s just like old times, and Hotch says that you wouldn’t leave Order-4 when I asked you to, but you’ll leave when Mila tells you do, that’s cool, bro. Skyler says he had to watch Ali and Hotch share family memories on Christmas and they were happy, but you know John has nothing to go home too, and he finally found his person, and he expected Jason would be happy for him like John was for him. Skyler wants to make sure that when he gets out there, his brother is in his corner.
Tom runs down what is in store for us tonight. Zoey Sorreno and Indi Hartwell will face off, next!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
The Hometown Man and the Dude Wipes mascot Deuce are in the back. Get it, Deuce, as in shit! Deuce gives him a pack of Dude Wipes, and San Antonio’s own is thrilled. AJ Francis and Expressions are here. Francis complains that the Deuce isn’t doing the job that he brought him for and then steals the wipes from the masked man. What a heel!
TNA’s Head of Security is here, which means Zoey is here! The Knockouts Champion Xia Brookside will be on commentary.
Zoey attacks Indi during her entrance. Both ladies fight around the ring, with Serrano getting the better it. Serrano rams Hartwell into the apron and then sends her into the ring. Serrano goes to enter the ring, but Hartwell kicks her in the face and brings here into the ring.
Zoey Serrano vs. Indi Hartwell
The bell rings officially as the fight continues. Serrano with a thrust kick and she grounds Hartwell. Indi to her feet, but Zoey shuts it down with a snap suplex. Serrano mocks Indi and says I WILL TAKE YOUR CAREER, but Indi took away her momentum with a counter spinebuster off of the springboard.
Serrano rolls out to the floor, and Hartwell stops to have words with Brookside. Hartwell with a pump kick, she picks up Zoey, but Serrano escapes and shoves Indi into the ring post. Into the stairs goes Indi, and Serrano looks around. She kicks a TNA official out of his chair so she can use it. She slides into the ring and hits Indi in the gut, causing the DQ.
WINNER: Indi Hartwell via DQ
TIME: 3:05 (Clocked from the time the bell rang)
THOUGHTS: Well, can’t say that we should be surprised about how this one went down, given that Zoey illicitly stated that Indi wasn’t making it to Bound for Glory.
RATING: **1/2
Post-match, Serrano continues to beat on the back of Hartwell with the chair. Zoey throws the chair down and leaves on her own, so Xia takes the opportunity to slide into the ring, and she hits Indi in the head with her title. Brookside poses over Hartwell while she is laid out.
Tom with another rundown of the events for tonight. The Reunion of the Great Hands to face Ali and Zero is up, next!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
Bound for Glory promo, coming to us a week from Sunday in Tampa Bay, Florida!
Tom pimps the Hardy Party heading to Tampa Bay!
No Order in the Order-4!
TNA International Champion Mustafa Ali and Special Agent Zero w/Tasha Steelz vs. The Great Hands w/Mila Moore
Ali attacks Skyler at the bell, leading to Hotch and Ali facing off. Jason with a big kick and a roll-through, as he is so HYPE right now. Hotch knocks Zero off the apron, but Ali sends Jason to the apron. Palm strike to Hotch, Ali with a baseball slide to Skyler. Ali slides out of the ring, but Hotch from the top and he hits the moonsault! Hotch back into the ring, he looks to take out Zero, but he catches him and slams him on the apron.
Skyler SPEARS Ali to the floor and he punches away. Zero picks him up, but he eats a SPEAR from Skyler. Ali from behind, the fight goes back into the ring, where the Great Hands hit Ali with a variation of the Shatter Machine! Both men head to the floor, but Zero goes FLYING and wipes them BOTH out! Hotch is returned to the ring, where Zero chucks Jason overhead and onto his face. Zero kicks Skyler off the apron, Hotch fights back, but he gets tripped up by Ali. Spinebuster from Zero to Hotch gets him a two.
Ali looking powerbomb, but Hotch rolls him up for a two. Clothesline from Ali and a short DDT for a two. Ali talks some smack before tagging in Zero. He scoops up Hotch and hits the Hellevator for a two. Zero with a big leg drop for another two. Ali gets the tag as Zero again knocks Skyler from the apron. Ali with a snapmare into the pin for a two. Ali with the Davey Boy Smith chinlock. Hotch to his feet, but Ali rips him down to the mat and hits a standing shooting star press for a two.
Ali smack talks Skyler and Mila before going back to Hoch. IN ALI WE TRUST, but Hotch doesn’t believe, as he rolls through on Ali’s piledriver and lifts him up and hits a powerbomb! Hotch FINALLY gets into the match, as does Zero. Skyler with a shit ton of strikes only for Zero to eat most of them. Ali runs into the ring, but he ends up running right into the corner lol. Tornado DDT from Skyler to Zero gets him a two.
Both Skyler and Hotch head to the top, but Zero brings them down to the mat. The tag team chemistry returns with a Total Elimination! Both men put Zero on the top rope, but like Donkey Kong, he has them trapped! DOUBLE POWERBOMB FROM ZERO TO HOTCH AND SKYLER! He covers both of them and they kick out at two. Ali is back, and he threatens to kick Mila! Even Matt can’t condone that! Hotch does the Cactus Jack clothesline, taking himself and Zero to the floor. Skyler through the ropes with the SPEAR for a two! Ali trips up Skyler and he applies the Sharpshooter! Skyler has no option but to tap out!
WINNERS: Mustafa Ali and Special Agent Zero
TIME: 10:15
THOUGHTS: The match was good, the best thing going so far, but I felt like there was a storyline narrative going into this, but it wasn’t what I thought it would be. Intrigue, the game!
RATING: ***1/2
Post-match, Ali keeps the Sharpshooter applied. Zero is in the ring, and Ali tells him to attack Skyler, but he won’t. Tasha tells him to attack, and he lays out Hotch with a forearm! Ali tells Zero to attack Skyler, but he won’t. Tasha tells him to attack, and he hits a running big boot! Ali is irate and he yells at both Zero and Tasha. Steelz points at Ali, ZERO LAYS HIM OUT WITH A HUGE LARIAT! Mila is in the ring to check on Skyler, Tasha tells Zero to attack, and he hits Mila with a Chokebomb! Steelz poses with Ali’s International Title!
The TNA Injury Report is brought to us by Dude Wipes!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
We get the inset promo from the other week for Rebel aka Tanea Brooks, and the QR Code to the site to donate to her cause.
We see Tasha Steelz and Special Agent Zero walking in the back. We see Mila Moore being checked out (not in that way, ya damn pervs) and John Skyler calls out Zero for being a tough guy. Here’s Mustafa Ali, here is Jason Hotch. A fight breaks out! Security is here, but so is Santino Marella! SONOFAGUN, enough is enough says Santana Marinara, and he says that they will face off in a 4-way match for the International Title at BFG! Nice!
Expressions is out ahead of his man AJ Francis to insult San Antonio for losing the NBA Finals. Clever, innit?
Moose vs. AJ Francis w/Expressions
Moose tries to attack Expressions, but Francis jumps him from behind. Moose quickly turns the tables with corner splashes, but his SPEAR meets the ring post. AJ Francis shares some of that Tennessee Whiskey with Mooses’ face. Moose took that personally and he sends Francis to the floor. AJ reverses Moose and throws him into the ring steps.
Back in the ring, and Francis is looking for the Down Payment, Moose avoids, says SCREW YOU and headbutts Francis! Off the ropes with another headbutt that drops Francis with a knee. Moose looking suplex, but his back gives out. Francis with a clothesline but he misses the running senton. Moose looking suplex again, he settles with another headbutt and he has his third attempt reversed by Francis into a pin for a two.
Francis grounds Moose, but the Canadian Mammal escapes. He goes to the corner, but he’s cut off by Francis. AJ puts him on the very top, Francis heads up and he’s looking for a superplex. Moose shoves Francis from the top rope and he lands face first! Moos from the very top with a crossbody block! Moose looking SPEAR, but Francis boots him in the face. Moose is back with a dropkick as Francis is back on the top rope. Moose gets dropped to the mat, but he kips up and he’s back up top with Francis! SUPERPLEX CONNECTS! Moose with the pin, that’s two.
Expressions is on the apron, Francis nearly hits him, but he recovers and hits the TFL for a two. Expressions is back on the apron, and he tells his mouthpiece to get the tables! I feel like I heard this one last week too lol. They set up a table on the floor and there is the black bag, but it’s full of Dude Wipes! Francis on the apron looking to power Moose through the table, but Deuce is here! He saves Moose, and Expressions ends up going through the table! Francis looks to attack Moose, but he almost runs into Deuce. This allows Moose the chance to grab a toilet seat cover and he smashes it over the head of Francis! The cover, and Moose wins!
WINNER: Moose (And Deuce!)
TIME: N/A (I forgot to start the stopwatch. I would say probably nine minutes?)
THOUGHTS: It was fine for what it was, which was two big dudes beating the shit out of one another. Expressions went through a Dude Wipes covered table, and a toilet seat was smashed over AJ’s head, and Deuce helped! More good than bad I suppose.
RATING: ***1/4
Joe Alonzo and Leon Slater will do battle, next!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
Allie and Kiera Hogan are walking! They walk by Courtney Rush, and Allie keeps looking back at her. Cut to Allie and Kiera standing on the other side of a fence opposite Rosemary. Allie says she found Kiera and defended the Knockouts Tag Titles against the Elegance Brand. Rosemary keeps saying she can’t stay here, she can’t go there. She screams about snakes in the grass before headbutting the fence. I mean, she’s not wrong.
Leon Slater is here, YA GET ME? Nic Nemeth, holder of two titles, is here on commentary. Pop culture reference where Nic says you’ll get GTA6 before Leon beats him. LMAO. Joe Alonzo is out with a mic. TNA stands for Total Non-Stop Alonzo, he makes fun of San Antonio for accepting losing and then blames Leon for costing him in his match with KC Navarro. He throws a stray at Nic, but says he will make it up to him and he will give Nemeth the night off at Bound for Glory. Nic wants to know if he will still get paid lol.
Good Lawd, this guy is literally Ryan Nemeth, and we don’t need another Ryan Nemeth. This promo is going on forever and ever and ever and ever.
Leon Slater vs. Joe Alonzo
Slater kicks Alonzo’s face into the back of his head at the bell. Leon to the top rope, Swanton 450 Connects, and that was all she wrote!
WINNER: Leon Slater
TIME: 21 ticks of the clock
THOUGHTS: The promo was about three minutes longer than the match was. It was hilarious seeing Slater just kick his face in at the bell and then hit the Swanton 450.
RATING: Comedy value is high
Post-match, in a segment that was longer than the match was, Nemeth steals Slater’s ring jacket and runs off with it, so Slater picks up both of Nic’s titles. Clearly the trad-off was more beneficial to Nemeth.
Training montage from Avery Styles and Frankie Kazarian. Frankie shoves Avery out of the ring and he tells him never trust anyone. Ironic, of course, because they BOTH will be in the Call Your Shot Gauntlet match!
Ricky Sosa and Cedric Alexander will throw down, next!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
The Elegance Brand are backstage, and Iceman is trying to hype the team up. Elayna Black is here. She wants Maggie to get a good look at the woman who is going to take her title. Maggie says that is bad news for Black, but Elayna doesn’t see how that is a bad thing. She calls the Brand Maggie’s goons, and Iceman says Maggie is the centerpiece. Elyana tries to stir the pot and asks Heather what she thinks about this. Maggie says she doesn’t need any help to defeat Black, so Elayna says she will see her next week. Iceman wants to know what the hell that was, and Maggie says she can handle this.
Cedric Alexander, the man who speaks in crazy, is here! So is Ricky Sosa! BANG BANG, SOSA SOSA!
Cedric Alexander vs. Ricky Sosa
The bell rings as the fans are hype for Sosa. Early lock-up, Sosa takes Alexander to the ropes. It is worth noting that no other System members are here, which is very unusual. Double leg takedown by Sosa, Ricky lifts up Cedric and hits an overhead suplex into a bridge for a two! Cedric rolls to the floor, but here comes Sosa with a flying headbutt!
Sosa remains in control during the “break.” Alexander is able to turn the tables with an STO to Sosa on the apron! X-Plex from Cedric, and he is back in the ring to taunt the fans and Ricky. Sosa slides back into the ring, where Alexander is waiting for him with some stomps. Cedric takes time to talk to the people, allowing Sosa to get back to his feet. That is shut down by a running back elbow for a two. Cedric tells Referee Daniel Spencer to count faster lol.
Alexander grounds Sosa with a front face lock as he tells the fans to SHUDDUP! Sosa gets to his feet, both men trade hands, but Cedric with a German. To the corner with a big kick and a pin for a two. Alexander sends Sosa back to the floor, where he stalks him and chops him. Both men give as good as they get now, although Cedric ends up bouncing Ricky into the ring steps. Alexander with the pin for a two. Another pin, another two. A third pin for two again. Dreaded chinlock incoming! Sosa to his feet, Alexander with a shoulder block, but Sosa kips up!
Sosa with a clothesline and a snap suplex to Cedric as he is feeling it. Enziguri from Sosa, he hits one running corner forearm and a second one. Sosa misses Alexander on a dive, Cedric from the top, RICKY WITH A NECKBREAKER COUNTER TO CEDRIC’S DIVE! Goodness gracious, and that’s only a two. Alexander doesn’t stay down for long as he hits Sosa with a stalling vertical suplex. Cedric wants to know if Ricky is going to fight and looks for the Lumbar Check, but Ricky elbows his way free. BIG right hand from Alexander, but he jumps right into a Blue Thunder Bang from Sosa!
Sosa is looking for the HEADSHOT, but here comes Bear Bronson and Brian Myers! Ricky kicks both men off the apron, and he hits a Rana that sends Alexander into Bear and Brian! Alisha is on the apron, allowing her ride or die Eddie to sneak in and he kicks Sosa in his BANG BANG zone. Lumbar Check from Cedric seals the deal.
WINNER: Cedric Alexander
TIME: 12:55
THOUGHTS: I was thinking four-stars for this match, but the very obvious run in by the rest of the System changed my mind a little bit. Still the best thing on the show tonight, and as I had hoped for, it was MOTN!
RATING: ***3/4
Post-match, the System pose over top of Sosa, and Alisha mocks his BANG BANG motions.
We cut to the back, as we see the members of syX walking. We will hear from them, next!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
Tom pimps the Hardys celebrating their 35th year anniversary by being the matchmakers for the Impact taping in Dauphin, Alabama post-BFG. Yay?
syX are here, as Sawyer and Shaw slide into the ring. I have to say their theme song is as great the RITC was and, yes, even Don Callis theme lol. Sawyer has the mic. We’re here, a clear homage to Bray Waytt. Shaw says for a month everyone has asked the same question: who is doing this, who are these people? But you’re asking the wrong question, you should be asking WHY? See, they have been watching this place for years, you come in here, you are smiling, you are happy, you are hugging, but this place is rotten. And sometimes, you need to cut things apart.
Sawyer says they did the cutting around here, and no one is safe around here, and there is no help coming. So, if you wear a TNA shirt and walk through these doors, you are on the chopping block.
Shaw says every chopping block has a name on the top, and that is Matt and Jeff Hardy. You built your career on doing things that most men couldn’t survive. Tables, ladders, chairs, you name it, but you are still here. Hell, we tried, and you are still here. But that just means we can do it again.
Sawyer wants them to listen very closely. Last week, you wanted us, and you got us! And he knows they are in their heads. You are looking around every corner, glancing over your shoulder looking for us. You spent your entire lives being extreme. Now, let’s see just how hard it is to kill you. If syX is what we are, then syX is what we’ll be.
Matt and Jeff have heard enough! Matt says for over a month, you attacked people from behind and hid in the shadows.
There is a really long and awkward pause here for some reason. Jeff says you guys keep trying to put us down and take us out, but guess what DUDES, we are still standing.
Matt says they gave them what they wanted last week, an invination to that ring to try and put us down. You talk about us surviving tables, ladders, and chairs because we will not die! But if you want to learn how hard it is to kill the Hardys, then let’s make it happen! Tampa, Florida, Bound for Glory, syX and the Hardys. And since you like to attack people all around the arena, let’s make this a no-DQ Falls Count Anywhere match.
Jeff says why want for San Antonio when we can give it to them tonight. I, uh, I think Jeff meant Tampa lol.
Matt and Jeff head down the ramp, but when they get there, the lights go out, and Shaw and Sawyer are gone. They look around confused and with that, we are done!
