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Join 411’s Live WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event Coverage
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You’re an obsession, you’re my obsession!
Oh, hello there, I hardly saw you while I listen to another track from my 80’s folder on my music rock box. Fitting, isn’t it, because tonight, LIVE from the historic Madison Square Garden in New York City, WWE will be presenting the latest edition of Saturday Night’s Main Event! Tonight’s show is the culmination of Fanatics’ fest in the Big Apple, and tonight’s show, while only hosting four matches, offers a variety of equal parts women’s matches, equal parts men’s matches, but also title action and possible title action as well.
For more on this, let’s roll out our Headlines!
So, how is everyone doing on this Saturday Evening? Busy sports night for me aside from covering this lovely SNME show for you, the WWE fans, as the Fever play against the Liberty tonight after probably one of the most exciting games of the Dub’s 30th season last night. At least they moved the Phillies-Mets game up to 3:05, although given the storms I’m getting here as I type this (12:00 hours), that game may not happen period. If it isn’t one thing, it’s something else!
But enough about me and enough about you, let’s get ready to become Obsessed with Saturday Night’s Main Event!
Image Credit: khelnow.com
THEN!
NOW!
FOREVER!
TOGETHER!
Big build-up video for all of the history that has taken place in Madison Square Garden! The Knicks just won the NBA Title for the first time in 53 years; can the WWE top it?
Tonight’s show is brought to us by Arby’s! Joe Tessitore hypes up all of the history from WWF/WWE in the confines of the MSG!
We see Jalen Brunson walking in the back. We see Danhausen and McDonagh, we see Lyra and Bayley walking, and we see Fatal Influence walking, and we see the Women’s tag team Champions! Sami Zayn and Gunther are walking, and then we see CM Punk and Cody Rhodes!
We kick it to Tessitore and Stephanie McMahon at the top of the stage. They discuss the matches tonight before kicking it to our announce team, Micheal Cole and Wade Barrett!
First up, we have the Women’s Tag Team Titles!
WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Brie Bella and Paige (C) vs. Lainey Reid and Fallon Henley w/Jacy Jayne
Everyone fights everyone at the bell. Lainey Reid and Paige end up in the middle of the ring, and Paige hits a Thesz Press. Tag to Bella, as they both work over Reid and hit a double Code Breaker. Henley gets the tag; she takes over and mocks Brie’s YES pose. Henley gets bounced into the corner of the Champions, tag to Paige, and they hit a double bulldog, but Henley is out at two.
Henley ends up grounding Paige with the dreaded chinlock, but Paige escapes with a jawbreaker. Henley won’t let go however, and she gets Reid involved. Paige avoids a double clothesline, and she tags in Brie. Bella takes care of Reid and hits a side Russian Leg Sweep to Henley. Here come the YES kicks, Bella says it’s BRIE MODE, and she delivers knees to both Lainey and Fallon.
Bella to the top rope, missile dropkick connects, but Henley kicks out at two. LeBell Lock from Bella, but Henley quickly gets her foot on the bottom rope. Both ladies collide in the middle of the ring, Brie tags in Paige. Paige ends up on the apron, she hits Henley with knees, Jayne gets on the apron, but she gets knocked down. This allows Henley the chance to tag in Reid, who hits Brie with a German. Her moonsault misses when Brie pulls Paige to safety.
Reid and Paige trade in the ring, Lainey drops her knee pad, but Paige scores with her own knee strike. Jacy is again on the apron, allowing Henley to run through and hits a rolling neckbreaker. Jayne is on the apron again, as Paige rolls up Reid, but Jayne pushes Paige over and and we have new Champions!
WINNERS: Lainey Reid and Fallon Henley
TIME: 6:45
THOUGHTS: No offense to the nostalgia of Bella and Paige, but this was the right moment to switch the tag team titles to the future of the Women’s Division. A fine match.
RATING: ***1/2
Cathey Kelley is in the back with Sami Zayn. She wants to know if Sami has something to say now after Gunther had some not so nice words about him. Sami says he will choose his words wisely, because he doesn’t want to say he is a victim. Zayn says that he had to bash his head against the glass ceiling for 13 years just to hold the World Title. But CM Punk and Cody Rhodes just say WHEN and they’re in the title picture. He was told by Gunther that he wasn’t on his level, but here is Gunther himself. He tells Sami Zayn to stay out of his way and don’t ruin SummerSlam for him.
We go around the arena and see celebrities and then we see Trick Williams, who the team mentions defeated Larado Kid before the show for his US Title.
Michael and Wade congratulate Fatal Influence for winning the tag team titles.
A Very Nice/Very Evil Productions presents the issues between Danhausen and the Judgement Day. Apparently, they wanted Danhausen to curse Oba Femi, he refused, and he kept the human monies. Danhausen is now the CurseFather, because the video was done in the style of the Godfather, you see.
Jackie Redmond gets a quick word with McDonagh, Dominik Mysterio, and Liv Morgan before they head out. JD says he is not curse, Danhausen is the curse. He will rid the WWE of this clown once and for all.
We see the Danhausen Blimp above the ring!
No-Disqualification Match: Danhausen vs. JD McDonagh
The bell rings, as both men circle each other. Danhausen gets the crowd to chant YOU ARE CURSED, and JD hits the floor to talk to Dirty Dom. Mysterio gets up on the apron with the Knicks jersey that he used to clean his boots with, allowing McDonagh the chance to attack from behind. JD chokes out Danhausen as he hits the floor.
JD takes Danhausen from barricade to barricade and then chucks him into the ring post. JD slam’s the Very Nice’s man face first off, the announce desk. Mysterio is jealous, so he takes turns with McDonagh bouncing the face of Danhausen off the announce desk. Back in the ring, and McDonagh hits a snap suplex. He hits an elbow drop for a two.
Dom continues to wipe his shoes with the Knicks jersey (lol), as McDonagh fires Danhausen into the corner. McDonagh does his Scott Steiner push-ups, but this allows Danhausen the chance to fight back into this. The Very Evil one corners JD with mounted punches, but McDonagh sneaks out from underneath and hits a Brain Buster for a two.
McDonagh motions to Dom, and he takes the Knicks jersey. He proceeds to wipe his arsehole with it and puts it on Danhausen. JD heads to the top, but he misses his moonsault. Danhausen gets up and puts the jersey on (yes, the same one that Dom was wiping his shoes with). The jersey acts like Hulk when he would Hulk up, as JD’s strikes have no effect.
Danhausen hits clotheslines and an Atomic Drop to JD. Dom enters, but he eats an overhead suplex. McDonagh tries to sneak into a roll-up, but that’s just a two. Danhausen counters McDonagh and hits a vertical suplex for a two. Dom is in the ring again, as both JD and Dom stomp out Danhausen. Mysterio holds Danhausen for a headbutt and a second headbutt from McDonagh.
McDonagh rips off the Knicks jersey, Dom shoves JD, and they do the Dudley Boys GET THE TABLES spot. Danhausen rolls out of the ring and walks up the ramp. JD and Dom pull out a table, but one of the Minihausens appears! Three more appear, and for a minute they get the better of McDonagh and Mysterio. Eventually, they get the better of the Minihausen gang, but it buys Danhausen himself a chance to put his cat in a cage into his cloning machine.
McDonagh and Mysterio set up the Slim Jim table in the ring and look to put one of the Minis through it, but we hear the sound of the machine losing its mind. The door is kicked down, and Karl-Anthony Towns walks out! Haha, get it, a CAT for a KAT! Danhausen and KAT both enter the ring. McDonagh runs into a chokeslam from KAT! KAT chokeslams Mysterio through the table! Danhausen sizes up McDonagh, he hits the Triple D, and that’s a wrap!
WINNER: Danhausen
TIME: 11:35
THOUGHTS: I mean, you knew there was going to be a lot of shenanigans, and there was going to be some serious Knicks involvement after the abuse of the jersey. It’s inoffensive fun.
RATING: ***1/4
Post-match, Danhausen, the Mini’s, and KAT-Hausen celebrate the win.
In the back, Cathey approached a disheveled Lyra Valkyria. Lyra says you know what’s funny? The last time she was in this building, she was competing for the Women’s tag team champions. Now, she doesn’t know if she can be the person that she used to be. Lyra says that she will get Bayley out of her head once and for all.
That match is up next, but first, COMMERCIALS!
-Ad for John Cena and his Never-Seen-17 merchandise.
-Ad for Marriage at First Sight.
-Ad for Arby’s.
-Ad for T-Mobile, who have a bundle for customer’s 55+ years. So, Consumer Cellular then?
-Ad for another Peacock show.
-Ad for Vinted, who is trying to out-do Etsy and eBay.
-Ad for Subaru.
-Ad for nicotine usage. It can keep you up all night!
-Ad for Friskies. These cats will need bigger bowls!
-Ad for Outshine. That was a great Soundgarden song if you added a D at the end.
Michael Cole welcomes us back to the show. We get highlights from Fanatic’s Fest this weekend, including the “slap” heard around the World from Tom Brady to Logan Paul. Hey, Tyrese Haliburton was there with a Pacers WWE belt lol. Roman Reigns wanted them to acknowledge him.
We see more celebrities around the arena, including Cooper DeJean, who gets booed by the fans lol.
Bayley is walking in the back when she is approached by Jackie. Bayley says that, apparently, she is the only one in the locker room who is thinking straight. She tried to give Lyra her space, but that didn’t work, so tonight, she is going to end her before she even gets started.
Lyra Valkyria vs. Bayley
Lyra charges Bayley at the bell, and we get a struggle between both ladies. Bayley charges Lyra to the corner and slaps her, causing Valkyria to tackle her to the mat. Bayley counters, Lyra gets to her feet, and Bayley tackles her to the mat and lands wild punches.
The fight ends up on the floor, where Bayley sets up Lyra on the apron and hits a straight right hand and a suplex to the floor. The ref backs off Bayley so he can check on Lyra, who may have nee busted open. Oh goodness yeah, she is bleeding pretty good. Bayley shoves the ref, and Lyra attacks Bayley like a wild woman. Bayley ends up back in the ring with Lyra on the apron, and Lyra shoves her away and then rams Bayley’s face off the top rope.
Lyra proceeds to slam Bayley’s head off the apron for a bit. The ref tries to hand her the towel, but Bayley whips Lyra into the corner so hard that she hits the apron and hits the floor. The ref again tries to back off Bayley, but she eventually takes out Lyra with a Tope Suicida. Back in the ring, and Bayley gets a two on the pin.
Lyra changes levels with a hip toss, a Snapmare, and a knee drop to the mouth of Bayley. Lyra catches a charging Bayley with a boot and then stands on her head in the corner. Bayley is back on the attack with right hands and a back body drop. Bayley counters Lyra in the corner with a Sunset Flip for a two. Bayley sinches in the Boston Crab, but Lyra rolls to her back and grabs Bayley by the hair and kicks her across the ring.
Here comes Lyra, but Bayley catches her with a STUNNER in the ropes. Bayley to the top, but Lyra cuts her off. Lyra with a neck breaker to Bayley over the top turnbuckle. Cole says that Lyra is talking to “himself”, but she heads to the top rope and hits a leg drop to the prone head of Bayley for a two.
Lyra stalks Bayley before picking her up. This leads to more hands bring traded, Bayley cuts off a spin kick from Lyra and plants her with a back suplex. Sunset Bomb by Bayley, she looks for the Rose Plant, but Lyra avoids it. She can’t avoid the Cross-Face, however, as she wrenches back on Lyra’s face. Bayley kicks off the ropes to keep the hold, but Lyra escapes and she drops Bayley on the top rope throat first.
Bayley shoves the ref away as Lyra stalks her. Bayley keeps telling Lyra to COME ON! Belly-to-Bayley, but Lyra counters it with a Bulldog Choke! Bayley doesn’t tap, but she does pass out!
WINNER: Lyra Valkyria
TIME: 10:30
THOUGHTS: Loved this one. Loved how personal it felt, how hard both ladies hit one another, and the character work from Lyra.
RATING: ***3/4
Post-match, Lyra kicks Bayley out of the ring. She is going to walk away, but she changes her mind, picks up Bayley into the ring post and applies the Bulldog Choke on the floor. Lyra screams WHY NOT ME? WHY? Welp, she isn’t done. as she separates the ring steps and grabs Bayley. Lyra picks up Bayley and hits her with the Night Wing on top of the steps! All the very strong officials tell Lyra to leave, so she heads up the ramp and talks to herself and the fans.
Hype video for the WrestleMania experience coming next April. Also, a WM43 watch party because, you know, it will be thousands of miles away!
We’re reminded that tonight’s show is brought to us by Arby’s, and they say the tag team title match has major implications, and that is up next. But first, a hype video/package for both tonight’s tag team match and for the prospective Rhodes-Punk match at SummerSlam. We’ll see if that changes after tonight. I expect it will.
-Ad for WWE Shop.
-Ad for the Arby’s Cheesesteak. More like scrap steak.
-Same Vinted from earlier.
-Ad for Citizens Bank.
-Ad for the Hawk, available on Netflix.
-Ad for Outshine. At least they had a different actor this time.
-Ad for Acura ADX.
-Ad for Athletic Non-Alcoholic Beer.
-Streaming on July 30th, The Super Mario Galaxy Movie!
-Peacock sports are live. You know, better than being an hour behind all the time!
-Zuffa Boxing is coming to MSG.
We see two boxers from said Zuffa league, and we see the Roman (not Reigns) family got the Arby’s Upgrade. Cool I guess? Does that come with unlimited beef and cheddars?
Cathey has Cody Rhodes and CM Punk in the back. Cody says he has been waiting for this Dream Match with CM Punk and he will win number four, but tonight they are best friends. Punk says that he considers Cody his best friend, he will watch his back tonight, but at SummerSlam, Cody will be on his back. They bicker over who will go out first, and Punk says the Champions always goes out second lol.
Cody Rhodes and Undisputed WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Sami Zayn and Gunther
If Sami and Gunther win, they will be inserted into the Undisputed WWE Championship match at SummerSlam
Punk goes for Zayn as he makes his entrance, while Rhodes and Gunther square off. Charles Robinson rings the bell anyway lol. Order is restored, and Punk tags in Rhodes, who hits a top rope double axe to Zayn. Rhodes lays into Sami for a bit, and he reluctantly tags in Punk.
Zayn ends up charging Punk to his corner, where Sami and Gunther beat up on Punk. Gunther chops Punk right out of the ring, where Gunther chops the skin off of his chest and drops Punk into the Timekeeper’s area. Gunther is raging, but Rhodes is smart enough to roll Punk back into the ring, so they don’t lose by count out. Now that’s a buddy!
Zayn mounts Punk and screams that you stole this from me. Zayn beats Punk to the corner and takes off his shirt. This did not get the Jeff Hardy reaction. Zayn sits Punk on the top rope, but Punk kicks him away and hits a missile dropkick. Both men tag out, and Rhodes greets Gunther with punches and the scoop spinning slam. Disaster Kick to Gunther, here is Sami, who eats the Dusty jabs and the Bionic Elbow.
Rhodes hits the CUTTER on Zayn, and he throws his weight belt into the crowd! Rhodes with a Tope Suicida to Zayn on the floor. Gunther is waiting for Rhodes when he comes back in, but Cody scores with a Cody CUTTER from the top rope! Cody looking for Cross-Rhodes, but Gunther tags in Sami. Zayn avoids the Cross Rhodes and counters with the Blue Thunder Bomb for a two.
Sami sizes up Cody for a Helluva Kick, but Cody moves, and Zayn gets his leg stuck on the top turnbuckle. Rhodes tags in Punk, who comes off the top with a lariat to Zayn. Swinging neck breaker, running knee strike and the Bulldog in succession from CM Champion. Punk to the top again, he takes his time listening to the fans and he hits the Macho Man Elbow for a two.
Punk applies the Anaconda Vice to Zayn! Gunther tries to save the match, but Cody manages to get the mat and applies the Figure-Four! Gunther rolls over and gouges the eyes of Punk, freeing Zayn, the legal man. Zayn hits a corner Exploder to Punk. Zayn again looking Helluva Kick to Punk, but Rhodes is in from behind and he hits the Cross Rhodes. Gunther smashes Rhodes with a Lariat, but Punk counters Gunther with the GTS!
All four men are down as the crowd is finally alive with THIS IS AWESOME chants. Punk and Zayn crawl to the corners, Sami tags in Gunther, but Rhodes isn’t there for Punk! Sleeper from Gunther, Punk runs into Rhodes on the apron, and Gunther reapplies the Sleeper! Punk has Gunther up for the GTS, but Gunther elbows his way free. Rhodes DOES get the tag, and hits Gunther with the Cross Rhodes! The cover, but Zayn shoves Punk into both Robinson and the pile.
Zayn talks smack to Punk and lays in some hands. He goes over to Rhodes and does the same thing. Punk picks up Zayn and hits the GTS! Rhodes and Punk bounce Gunther around for a bit. Punk holds Gunther for a Disaster Kick, but he ends up kicking Punk instead!
Gunther lays out Cody and heads to the floor and grabs Punk’s title. Gunther clocks Rhodes in the head with the title and throws it out of the ring. Gunther with a Powerbomb to Rhodes and here comes another ref to make the count. Nick Aldis pulls the ref out of the ring, and he clocks Gunther in the face! Punk with the GTS to Gunther, Punk pulls Rhodes into the pin, and it will be one-on-one at SummerSlam!
WINNERS: Cody Rhodes and CM Punk
TIME: 14:10
THOUGHTS: Really good main event (for the wrestling part of it at least). I was very surprised that they didn’t decide to make it a 4-way match for the title, although I guess the rumors of Aldis-Gunther might be true then.
RATING: ****
Post-match, Cody is a good sport, and he presents Punk with his WWE Undisputed Title. Zayn stews next to Gunther as Punk celebrates with his fans.
We’re back to Joe and Stephanie. Joe says that match was WOW, and Stephanie isn’t sure how it all went down, but she is excited for Punk and Rhodes to go one-on-one. Joe and Stephanie give us an updated look for the two-night SummerSlam card coming up on August 1st and August 2nd in Minnesota.
Roman Reigns and Jalen Brunson will talk (or something) next!
-Survivor Series War Game ad incoming.
-Next Gen NYC, in case you love petty drama.
-Arby’s, that is NOT a Cheesesteak…
-T-Mobile ad. where Zack and Donald are scared in a cabin.
-Subaru ad, with a giant-sized puppy rolling over an Outback. Now that’s adorbs.
-The Five-Star Weekend, a Peacock film, out now.
-Peacock, available in Telemundo for all of your footie needs.
-The British Open is the perfect tee time, not tea lol.
-Vikings Pro Bowl Receiver Justin Jefferson hypes up SummerSlam in Minnesota.
Cole lets us know that SummerSlam Takeover is coming to Minneapolis from July 31st to August 2nd. Again, we’re also reminded that Arby’s is the sponsor of tonight’s show. Stargazing, this time we see James Harrison, Cade Cunningham, Damon Harrison, and the RULER Oba Femi.
New York sports hype video, narrated by former Giants Quarterback Eli Manning. It ends with Manning anointing Jalen Brunson the newest King of New York. I’ll have you know that this “King of New York” refused to sign a Giants helmet because he is an EAGLES fan!
Brunson gets his game-day introduction from the announcer, and he is sitting in the Knicks locker room in front of his jersey. Brunson makes his walk down the hallway while a short video package of his playoff highlights plays. Brunson is still walking as he checks out all the WWE photos on the wall. Back to more highlights. Brunson is still walking, as there is a line of fans in the back, but also KAT, who he greets and talks to. Roman Reigns himself is waiting for him at the curtain in gorilla.
Reigns and Brunson make their way down to the ring to Roman’s theme music. They hit the apron and the one’s go up to the sky. Both men walk around the ring for a bit as we’re approaching the last minute of the show. THANK YOU, BRUNSON and MVP chants, but no OTC chants lol.
Roman has the mic. Okay NOW we have OTC chants. Well, this isn’t something you see every day, now do you? Some of you are probably wondering what we are doing out here right now? This is rare air. This is where greatness acknowledges greatness. And it’s no secret that this city is the home of WWE. And Roman can’t lie, you make the Tribal Chief feel like he’s at home, too. More OTC chants. He thinks he speaks for all of us, 53 years, that was WAY too long. And Jalen will tell you, this is a team sport. It took everyone on the roster, but there is only one Tribal Chief, and there is only one Captain. The Finals MVP. NBA Champion. And the King of New York. MVP chants.
Roman continues, but you see, in the WWE, every Champion in WWE needs a title, so the Tribal Chief made some moves. He grabs a custom WWE World Title with the Knicks colors and the #11 on the side. Roman says not only does this man deserve it, but this man earned it. Now, it is complete, and now, it is time. Madison Square Garden! New York City! ACKNOWLEDGE US!
Both men raise their titles high in the air. But that is interrupted by the sound of the man who wants us to BURN IT DOWN! But it’s not Seth Rollins, it’s Tyrese Haliburton! He approaches ring side with a chair, which proves to be a distraction so Rollins can attack Reigns from behind! Hali slides the chair into Rollins, and Seth tells Brunson to stay out of this. Seth screams that this is his world, and he doesn’t acknowledge him. Rollins is going to Curb Stomp Reigns into the chair, but Brunson stands in his way.
Rollins removes his coat and threatens Brunson, but this buys Reigns the time to hit the Superman Punch! Reigns with a SPEAR that sends Rollins from the ring. Reigns and Brunson hold the ring, the Larry O’Brian Title is slide into the ring, and Roman puts Jalen’s title around his waist. Reigns claps before picking up the NBA Finals Trophy, he raises it and Brunson raises Roman’s World Title belt. Fireworks go off, and with that, we are done (finally)!
