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Alright everyone, it’s time for WWE Smackdown. This is the go home show for SummerSlam, which will take place tomorrow and Sunday, so expect not a whole lot to happen. Incidentally I’ll be covering Night 2 of SummerSlam so I do hope to see you all there. As for tonight the big deal is yet another face to face between WWE champion CM Punk and Cody Rhodes. Those two will be main eventing Night 1, which is shaping up to be the better night of the two on paper seeing as it has Punk vs. Cody, Gunther vs. Aldis, and the Hell in a Cell match between Oba Femi and Brock Lesnar. Night 2, well there’s Danhausen vs. Dominik Mysterion in a *sigh* Human Monies on a Pole Match, plus a Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins match likely to end with the debut of Zilla Fatu. Zilla’s not that good. Anyway that’s for the weekend. Tonight we’ve got the Smackdown tag team champions of Damian Priest and R-Truth taking on the AAA tag team champion War Raiders in a winner takes all match. At least that’s what’s been intimated, we’ll see if that’s the case. We get the last qualifying match for the women’s ladder match at SummerSlam with Giulia taking on Lash Legend. Nick Aldis is still not GM until after SummerSlam, but expect him and Gunther to get into things tonight. Baron Corbin has a US title shot, which he got off air after last weeks main event ended. Sami Zayn and Finn Balor have a date at SummerSlam with the winner getting a title shot, and with rumors around that Kevin Owens is about ready to return you have to imagine he could factor into Sami’s continued downward spiral. But that’s kind of it for major stuff. Jade Cargill and company are still doing the same old stuff, Blake Monroe might as well be shaking hands and introducing herself in the back, Jordynne Grace is still MIA, Ilja Dragunov can’t buy airtime for love or money, Shinsuke Nakamura isn’t around, and we’ve still got no update on when Randy Orton might be coming back. After a pretty bad episode of RAW on Monday, let’s see if Smackdown can send us into SummerSlam with a little excitement and momentum.
Per usual we see wrestlers walking around the venue to start as Joe Tessitore and Wade Barrett welcome us to the show in Green Bay, Wisconsin.
First for the crowd is Finn Balor for some promo time. Balor remind us again about SummerSlam 2016 when he won the first Universal title but Seth Rollins injured him so he had to give it up on Monday. Now we’re a decade later and Balor has been chasing that night ever since, and he’s so close to getting back to where he was. That brings out Sami Zayn looking as disheveled as ever. Sami talks from the stage and says he’s got stuff to get off of his chest. He should be in the main event at SummerSlam in a triple threat, he was champion just 4 weeks ago after all. Now WWE got the marquee match of CM Punk vs. Cody Rhodes. Sami hopes Cody wins, because he’s already beaten Cody for the WWE title and he knows he can do it again. Of course he’d also like to see Punk retain the title, Punk being the biggest fraud and hypocrite in this company. The guy who sat up here all those years ago with a phony pipe bomb, well now Punk has ascended to the rank of corporate poster boy #2. Sami would love to take the title from the man who stole it from him. Now he’s got respect for Balor, Balor interrupts to tell Sami to grow some balls and say whatever he has to say to Balor’s face. Sami does head down to the ring and says he’s got respect for Balor just like everyone who’s watched Balor be great for over a decade now. He says Balor probably should have been WWE champion a couple of times over by now. But understand this moment, it belongs to Sami. Balor had his time and now it’s Sami’s time. Sami getting the title back is bigger than anyone, it’s about justice. Justice for Sami, Balor interrupts to ask for his own justice. Balor’s spent 10 years to get back to this moment and it’s his, not Sami’s. Sami says if it took Balor 10 years he should just take the hint. Balor then mocks Sami taking 10 years to even get a sniff of the title but he never gave up, and Balor wont either. He had the title for 1 day and gave it up due to injury, Sami had 9 days not because of injury, or because he got screwed, but because he just lost. Sami says those sound like fighting words, and if Balor was anyone else Sami would drop him where he stands. But he wont do that, because he’s a good guy. Sami will do the right thing and walk away and see Balor at SummerSlam. Balor agrees, but here’s Gunther from behind to shove Balor into Sami. Gunther lays waste to Sami and Balor then gets a mic and says they’re both jokes. The rightful contender is Gunther, Adam Pearce comes down the ramp to talk to Gunther. Gunther wants to know what he’s got to do to get what’s his, maybe beat down Pearce as well. Balor has recovered and attacks Gunther, Sami shows up and all three men start brawling. Gunther gets the better of things but here’s Nick Aldis and he goes after Gunther. Gunther and Aldis brawl to the ring but it’s Aldis who locks up a Texas Cloverleaf to a pretty good pop before officials show up to separate them. There’s a boot from Gunther and Aldis is pulled out of the ring but he still wants to fight as the crowd is with Aldis and we head to break. Decent promo from Sami and Balor but nothing they haven’t said before, this was just a reminder and a teaser. Which is OK but if it takes that long then it gets a little tedious.
We come back and get a recap of the physical fracas that just concluded.
In the ring Tiffany Stratton and Chelsea Green wait for their match. Here comes Jade Cargill with her goobers, the flunkies will be the ones in action.
Match #1 – Tag Team Match: Tiffany Stratton and Chelsea Green vs. Michin and B-Fab w/ Jade Cargill
Tiffany and B-Fab start, B-Fab with some knees then a corner spin kick. Tiffany avoids a pump kick and kicks B-Fab into the ropes. Michin tags in, gets hung up in the ropes, Green tags in and we get some double team work from Green and Tiffany. Green with a sliding face slam and we head to break.
They screw up some rope running then B-Fab snaps Green over the top which sets up a head kick from Michin so the heels can take over. Green takes heat for a bit, then mess up some more rope running as B-Fab doesn’t know where to send Green. How is B-Fab still this bad at this? Michin tags back in and slams Green down by the hair to retain control. Bow and Arrow hold from Michin but Green counters into a pin for 2, then Michin clotheslines her down. Green gets cornered for a bit and we get quick tags from the heels as we come back to broadcast. Jawbreaker from Green as she tries to fight free, eventually she hits an enziguri and both women are down. Two tags and now Tiffany gets to run wild on the heels. Cartwheel Alabama Slam to Michin, then Tiffany goes up top and hits a Swanton Bomb for a 2 count. Michin avoids the Finlay Roll, Green blind tags then B-Fab and Tiffany brawl on the floor. Jade comes over behind the refs back and rams Tiffany into the ring steps. Michin and Green fight on the top, Green headbutts Michin down then lands a dropkick. B-Fab tags in but the numbers catch up and the heels hit the BTA, it’s a two person Funk Buster, and that’ll end things.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Michin and B-Fab won in 6:51
Rating: 1.5 stars
Thoughts: Some seriously sloppy work in the early going, and a pretty short run time. Tiffany and Green are directionless, it’s a shame as they used to be pretty over and now can’t buy a win against Michin and B-Fab.
Post match here comes Charlotte Flair in a Michelin Man inspired jacket. Tiffany and Green attack Michin and B-Fab so Charlotte and Jade can handle things one on one. Jade and Charlotte brawl and Charlotte boots Jade out of the ring to finally get some kind of visual win over Jade.
In the back Rey Fenix and Fraxiom talk, JD McDonagh and Dominik Mysterio show up. Bickering follows and we get Fenix vs. JD for the AAA cruiserweight belt later.
We get a video from Tama and Talla Tonga. Leaving Solo was the right move, they lost sight of chasing gold. From now on they put their family first. Old man Haku shows up to remind them who they are, and he tells them to make everyone fear them. OK then.
Damian Priest and R-Truth head to the ring, some audio issues there as far as timing the music switch. After this break we’ll get the title for title match.
Post break the War Raiders head to the ring.
Match #2 – Title for Title Tag Team Match: WWE Tag Team Champions Damian Priest and R-Truth vs. AAA Tag Team Champions War Raiders (Erik and Ivar)
Erik and Ivar attack at the bell, Erik and Priest wind up squaring up and trading strikes. Priest corners Erik and punches away then tags in Truth and they hit a combination Lie Detector and Russian leg sweep. Truth with a corner splash to Erik, avoids an Ivar cheap shot, but Erik knocks him to the floor. Ivar tags in, they double team Truth on the floor then catch a flying Priest and ramp him into the barricade. Erik throws Ivar into Truth as he’s sitting on the barricade, then the same for Priest and we go picture in picture.
Ivar and Truth head back into the ring and Ivar gets to beat up Truth for a bit. Erik tags back in and they get to clubbering on Truth together. Truth takes the heat for a bit then Erik grabs a front headlock. Ivar tags in and sort of posts himself as Truth avoids a corner attack, Truth then low bridges Erik. Truth crawls and makes the tag to Priest, Priest unloads on Ivar with punches and elbows then his hopping shoulder block. Erik runs into a back elbow then Priest hits both men with tornado kicks. Corner attacks from Priest to both men, then he tosses Erik and hits Ivar with a lifting Flatliner for a 2 count. Ivar fights back with a boot, climbs up as we come back to broadcast. Priest kicks Ivar then climbs up to hit a second rope hurricanrana but Erik blind tagged. Erik attacks but Priest boxes his ears to retain control. Priest runs into a Thor’s Hammer but Truth breaks up the pin. Things break down, both teams shove the ref so we get the match thrown out.
OFFICIAL RESULT: No Contest in 6:08
Rating: 2 stars
Thoughts: Kind of a shame, they showed good chemistry but had no real time. They spent a lot of time teasing this match and cut it woefully short. Title for title was likely never going to end cleanly but this felt like a very deflating way to end the match.
All four men brawl to the floor, Ivar hits Truth with the title pillar in a nice little spot. They all fight into the fans now, and Truth jumps off an equipment table onto the other three men. Priest clotheslines both Erik and Ivar over the barricade back to the ringside area. Tama and Talla Tonga show up to make everything worse, they beat up everyone. In the ring Erik takes a Cutthroat from Tama then Priest takes a chokeslam from Talla. No pop for Talla’s finish. Haku is here with the Tongans though and the T Boys hold both sets of titles high.
We get a recap of some tension between CM Punk and Cody Rhodes on the house show circuit.
In the back Cathy talks with Punk. He says he and Cody wont be friends in the ring but after we’ll see. Trick Williams comes over and says Punk should be glad Trick lost last week, because Trick is coming for the WWE title. Punk says he wanted Trick to win and he needs challengers, and when Trick finally does get to the top of the mountain Punk will be waiting there to whoop that Trick. Punk heads out and we head to break.
Post break we get a video from Nick Aldis. He says it’s been a privilege to be Smackdown GM, but it was never his first dream. He’s always been a wrestler, he’s won and defended titles around the world against legends. Some nice AAA and TNA highlights. But Aldis was willing to just be the best GM he could be and leave that behind. But Gunther pushed him too far, this isn’t about his dream or being the GM, it’s about being a man. So he’s going to lace his boots up tight and face Gunther, one on one, like a man.
US champion Trick Williams heads to the ring along with his chant. I really dislike the furry belt, keeping that thing clean must be a total nightmare. As Trick walks we get the airing of what happened between Trick and Baron Corbin that happened after the show last week. Trick gets a mic, the chant isn’t as loud or consistent as before as he plays with the crowd. He puts himself over then says he’s got to get to business. That big bald headed Baron Corbin came back just to hate on Trick. So what, did Corbin wake up and shine his head one day looking like Tommy Pickles and hate on Trick. Not sure I’ve heard a Rug Rats reference in a minute. Trick calls out Corbin so he can slap him all the way to Minnesota. Corbin does show up with a mic, and some really unimpressive music. Corbin says Trick loves the sound of his own voice, but Corbin has learned lessons while being away from WWE. He learned patience, something Trick doesn’t know. Trick got the rocket strapped up right away, including music that makes people think he’s more important than he is. Well at SummerSlam Corbin will drown him in quicksand, he rambles a bit then Trick interrupts and says Corbin wont do anything. Is Corbin just here to collect a check? The only thing Corbin will collect is Trick’s boot up his ass. Corbin interrupts because Trick wants to do this right now, well Corbin isn’t stupid so that’s not going to happen. He doesn’t care about the people or Trick, Trick’s just a dumb rookie that doesn’t get it. The lesson is patience, and he tells Trick that on Sunday he’s taking the US title and there’s nothing Trick can do about it. Trick warns him that on Sunday there will be 35,000 chanting “whoop that Trick”. Not the strongest work from either man, there was a better way for Corbin to make that point instead of just kind of dying on the mic and Trick still struggles to do much other than just repeat catchphrases.
Next a hype video for Oba Femi vs. Brock Lesnar. That’s maybe the best built match on SummerSlam.
Rey Fenix heads to the ring, he’ll defend his AAA title after this break.
Post break JD McDonagh is in the ring.
Match #3 – AAA Cruiserweight Title Match: (c) Rey Fenix vs. JD McDonagh w/ Unwashed Dominik Mysterio
29 minutes between matches, with a chunk of that being hype videos, not great. Greco-Roman knuckle lock, JD with a back heel trip but Fenix wrestles up and hits a monkey flip but both men keep the hold. Chop from Fenix then some rope bouncing into an arm drag. Right hand from JD, then Fenix with a Sunset Flip for 2, and he avoids a standing moonsault so JD powders. Dom distracts Fenix so JD can attack and take over. Some corner work from JD, he heads to the apron but Fenix with a springboard kick to drop him to the floor, then Fenix with a feint dive, misses a plancha then JD hits an asai moonsault to send us picture in picture. Lots of commercials tonight.
Some ringside brawling from JD now, and Dom gets a cheap shot in. Fenix gets back into the ring but JD continues the attack. Suplex from JD. Arm drag from Fenix then he goes flying into a dropkick from JD for a 2 count. JD lines up another Dom cheap shot then grabs a seated abdominal stretch. That’s the state of things as we rejoin the broadcast. Fenix fights upright and takes an elbow from JD. JD runs into a thrust kick, Fenix then with a double springboard crossbody. Both men avoid strikes then Fenix hits the Fireman’s Brainbuster for a near fall. Some punches from JD but Fenix with a wheel kick, thrust kick, then a handspring Cutter. JD catches a running Fenix with a Spanish Fly for his own near fall. Fenix hits the Tiger Feint wheel kick which just crushes JD. Fenix hops up top, Dom gets involved again so JD can hit the ropes and crotch Fenix. The ref has had enough of Dom and ejects him from ringside. Dom backs up the ramp and predictably into the music of Danhausen. Danhausen shows up to try and curse Dom, Dom clocks him but the mini hausen’s show up to run Dom off. Back to the ring, Fenix hits the Adios Amigo kick, double knees, then the Mexican Muscle Buster to retain.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Rey Fenix retained the title in 10:30
Rating: 3 stars
Thoughts: They got above average here largely through force of will as the Dom circus and Danhausen shenanigans were an unnecessary sideshow to two very talented wrestlers. Fenix remains great in the ring but he’s also finally starting to click with the crowd a bit. JD is JD, good but stuck in his role.
After this break we’ll get a video on Shield lore. I swear at this point they’ll create a prop wing of the Hall of Fame just to put the freaking Shield Chair into it.
Post break we do get that promised hype video about Seth and Roman’s history. Also Seth just lying about Roman never beating him, that’s just factually inaccurate.
Lash Legend heads to the ring, and man her music is still terrible as we head to break.
Match #4: Giulia vs. Lash Legend
Giulia is in the ring as we come back. Leg kicks from Giulia, Lash tries to overpower her and gets caught in an Octopus Hold. Lash then bounces Giulia’s head between the ropes and hits an Air Raid Crash. Giulia counters a pin into a Rings of Saturn, Lash is able to escape but Giulia hits an Arrivederci Knee for a 2 count. Lash is too big to get hit with the Northern Lights Bomb, but Giulia grabs a guillotine choke. Just no heat for any of this. Lash is able to power free and hits a headbutt, then the Lash Extension to win.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Lash Legend won in 1:59
Rating: DUD
Thoughts: Man they just don’t know what to do with Giulia and it’s painful. Lash is still not very good at this, and this whole thing going less than 2 minutes borders on insulting.
We get a Cody and Punk hype video that doubles as a promotional bit for Cody’s role as Guile in the upcoming Street Fighter movie. After this break Punk and Cody will go face to face again.
Post break Cody heads to the ring, he’s interrupted before pyro and the “whoa” by Punk’s music and Punk heading past him to the ring. Punk gets a mic, Cody’s got one, and both men argue about how they got to this point. Cody brings up that he can’t fake anything with Punk after 20 years of knowing each other, well that cuts both ways. He knows Punk knew they were on this path to hating each other now that they’re on an inevitable collision course. Punk plays with the crowd first then says of course he knew he’d rustle feathers and hurt feelings, but he wasn’t going to be like a whiner in the back. He wasn’t going to behave like Sami, or say no like the other mediocre bums back there, he’s CM Punk and he will always show up and hope it pisses people off. For 20 years he’s been doing that, and for 10 of that stretch he wasn’t even here but his name made people freak out. So let’s talk about this being about the title, Punk wont be Cody’s friend tomorrow but when it’s done it’s up to Cody if they’re friends. Punk just has to know who’s better between them, for business purposes. Cody doesn’t buy that and plays with the crowd and asks what they want to talk about. Seems like they want to talk about Punk, so Cody will oblige them. If this is really about business then Punk is just double talking. The title isn’t business, it is personal. He knows how personal it is to both of them, and it is to everyone who’s ever held that title, and everyone that hasn’t held it. That belt means you’re the best in the world, you’ve got the crown and call the shots. Everyone’s tired of the friends, and Punk said he was here to make money not friends. Punk says he wasn’t here to make friends, but he didn’t want to lose them either. But if it’s between losing a friend or losing a title, well tomorrow wont be Cody’s night. Cody is being bothered by the word “tomorrow”, because Punk is prepared to do almost anything tomorrow night at SummerSlam. Well what does Punk want to do about it tonight. Punk tosses his mic and lays down the title, then removes his jacket. Punk lines up to fight, Cody then tosses his mic, removes his jacket, and lines up while Punk offers the first shot. Cody then obliges and the brawl is on. We get a hockey fight for a bit then Cody drops Punk with a clothesline and sends him out of the ring. Some brawling from Cody and he takes apart the announce table but Punk recovers and launches Cody over the table. Punk stands on the table but Cody trips him down, Punk returns the favor and we get more brawling. Officials and security show up to pull them apart, that doesn’t really work and they get to trading punches on the table. Eventually they do get separated again, clash again and keep swinging punches at each other as the episode ends.