The Top 10 Coolest Movie Swords (#10 – 6)

The Top 10 Coolest Movie Swords: #10-#6

When it comes to movie weapons the three big ones are guns, knives, and swords. I mean, yes, there are other movie weapons, but the top three are guns, knives, and swords. And since I’ve already done mega lists for both guns and knives, it’s time to do one about swords. Now, unlike the guns list, which had twenty five entries plus multiple honorable mentions, and the knives list, which was twelve entries with no honorable mentions, I’ve decided to limit the coolest swords list to ten. For whatever reason, while thinking about this, ten seemed the exact right number. So, over the next two weeks, I will divulge what I think are the ten coolest movie swords, five picks a week. There will be no honorable mentions.

And now, without any further what have you, the Top 10 Coolest Movie Swords list begins:

The Top 10 Coolest Movie Swords: #10-#6

10- The Bride’s Katana- Kill Bill Vol.1: As forged by legendary sword maker Hattori Hanzo (the great Sonny Chiba), the katana wielded by Uma Thurman’s The Bride in Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill Vol. 1 is a super strong and super deadly sword that gets lots of practice. The Bride uses it to remove Sofie Fatale’s arm, then takes on O-Ren Ishii’s Crazy 88 gang, killing almost all of them with it. The Bride also uses the sword to do battle with Crazy 88 leader Johnny Mo, super henchperson Gogo Yubari, and then O’Ren at the end in a pretty cool one-on-one sword brawl. In the big scheme of things, the reality is The Bride’s sword is just a sword. It doesn’t look any different from any other sword we see in the movie. What makes it special, though, is its reputation (who wouldn’t want a sword made by Sonny Chiba?) and the way The Bride uses it. In short, The Bride knows how to use it and use it well. It’s a shame that we didn’t get to see The Bride take on Bill in Vol.2. I bet that would have been epic as hell.

9- The Braveheart sword- Braveheart: This is the sword used by Mel Gibson’s William Wallace in Gibson’s award winning movie Braveheart. While I’ve never been a big fan of the movie, I will say that the sword used by Wallace, known as a Claymore, is insane. It looks to be too big and unwieldy to be used in any sort of combat. It looks more like a weapon that you pose with. And yet, as we see in the movie, the Claymore is deadly as fuck. Once again, in the end, it’s all about whether or not the user can actually use the weapon, and William Wallace is about as proficient as a warrior can be with a sword. I remember how, a few years after this movie came out, that loads of people wanted replicas of it. Is that still happening? Are people still all about getting a replica of this and posing in front of giant rocks and whatnot?

8- Blade’s sword- Blade: As used by the vampire killing “daywalker” Blade (Wesley Snipes), this sword is significant for three reasons. One, the sword’s blade is coated in silver, which, in the world of Blade means that it’s deadly for vampires (basically, if a vampire gets sliced or stabbed with it a vampire will turn into a dusty skeleton). Two, it doesn’t have a guard on it, so it’s basically just one long weapon. I read somewhere that, in real life, this sword would be difficult/almost impossible to use because of that lack of a guard. I have no idea if that’s true but it seems plausible that, if you used a sword without a guard in a real sword fight that the user would run the risk of losing his or her grip and the user’s hand would slide up and get cut. But then it is a movie weapon so plausibility isn’t as important as how cool it looks (and Blade’s sword looks cool as hell). The third significant thing about the sword is that it has a feature in the handle that, if someone other than Blade uses it, spikes can pop out and cause the user’s hand to explode. That may be the sword’s coolest feature. I know I wouldn’t want anyone to use my vampire killing sword but me. Wesley Snipes became an action movie God and a super hero/comic book movie God using this sword.

7- General Kael’s sword- Willow: General Kael, as played by Pat Roach in the wonderful fantasy flick Willow, is a terrifying presence. The guy is gigantic (he’s like a foot taller than everyone else in the movie), he’s dressed mostly in black and dark blues, his helmet/mask has a human skull incorporated into it (or is it like a gorilla skull or something?), and he has a sword that just screams “I will kill you because I can.” The sword is, like its user, gigantic (the sword looks longer than just about every other sword in the movie), it has all sorts of sharp points and bits near the handle (what if you get stabbed and the sword runs through you? Will you also get stabbed by the spikes and whatnot by the handle?), and it has weird grooves on the blade that make it look like a “Rambo sword.” As I understand it, the grooves are there to show you that the sword has been used over and over again and, despite chunks of it coming off in the midst of battle, it’s still a useful weapon and something you don’t want to face. I prefer the “Rambo sword” idea more because, just like John Rambo’s knife, the grooves and “teeth” on the blade make the weapon scarier. But the “the sword has been used a million times and it’s still deadly despite losing chunks of it over time” is a nifty idea, too. Why isn’t General Kael a bigger deal in pop culture? You’d think, simply based on his look, that loads of people would want to dress up as him for Halloween and that tons of people would cosplay as him at conventions. I’ve never seen it happen. That just seems wrong to me.

6- Cho Osaki’s katana- Revenge of the Ninja: As used by Sho Kosugi’s Cho Osaki in the greatest ninja movie ever made, Revenge of the Ninja, Osaki’s sword is a weapon that he promised he would never use again after his family was brutally murdered by a ninja army in Japan. When Osaki brought his son to America to live a life of peace (he also wanted to sell Japanese dolls) he performed a ceremony where he placed a small ceremonial leather strap around the guard. That meant the sword would remain sheathed forever. Well, that’s what was supposed to happen. Unfortunately for Osaki, his best friend Braden (Arthur Roberts) turned out to be a rat bastard criminal, drug smuggler, and deadly evil ninja that killed his mother, threatened his son and girlfriend, and tried to kill him. So, finding all of this out, Osaki breaks the seal on his sword and becomes a good guy ninja and eventually fights Braden on top of a building in downtown Salt Lake City. Braden is damn good with his sword and other ninja weapons, but Osaki is so much better and he takes out Braden after one of the greatest action movie ninja martial arts fights ever filmed. This is the movie that made we want to own a ninja sword one day. I still don’t have one, but, hey, as long as this movie and Osaki lives in my mind I will get one one of these days. Who else is with me? Who else wants a Revenge of the Ninja ninja sword?

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