wrestling / TV Reports
Ciocco’s TNA Impact Review 7.2.26
Image Credit: TNA
Loading...Impact Zone! It’s time for another edition of the Thursday Night Delight known as Impact! Coming off of the heels of Slammiversary on Sunday, as we saw four out of the six titles on the line change hands, and tonight’s show emanating from Albany, New York, will see the start of the 16-Knockout Tournament to crown the first ever TV Champion!
For more on that and everything else, let’s roll those Headlines!
So, how is everyone on this Thursday Night? I’ll lament here what I did last night, and I hope that everyone is holding up in this “heat dome”, and hopefully people with elderly neighbors or people without AC are checked on.
But enough about me and enough about you, let’s get ready to brace for Impact!
Tonight, Impact takes place from the capital of New York known as Albany! As are tradition, Tom Hannifan and Matt Rehwoldt will have the call!
Video package opens the show, with highlights from Slammiversary on Sunday.
I’M READY FOR YOU aka the title sequence!
HUNK! HUNK! HUNK! Ryan Nemeth is out, presumably to introduce his older brother. Ryan has the mic. I want everyone to stand up on your feet and show respect and reverence to the greatest professional wrestler in the last 65,000 years, my role model, my best friend, and my big BROTHERRRRRRRRRRRR! You’re new World Champion, the Wanted Man, Nic Nemeth!
Nic comes out with the title revealed underneath his blazer around his waist. He gyrates on the ramp, much to the delight of one baddie in the front row. Nice takes the mic from Ryan. WOW! I feel almost as good as I look! Everyone’s talking about Slammiversary. Everyone is talking about how the roster knocked it out of the park, and in the main event, they’re talking about how the best wrestler did what he always does. People love to gossip and spread rumors, but he feels like he can discuss his body count. Ryan, unveil the list!
Ryan unfolds a list, and Nic says, like the kids say, this isn’t that body count, this is the list of the wrestlers that he has put down, some permanently. He names off a ton of former WWE wrestlers, and he gets to John Morrison and all of his nicknames lol. He also wants a shot at some guys from high school.
But before he can go on, KC Navarro is here. He is blessed to be in Albany, but he doesn’t like how Nic is conducting business. Ryan complains and says that KC wants what he has, but KC says you have nothing that I want. Nic tells them that they are both goofs, and they need to get on the same page. In fact, he is going to head to the back and find Daria Rae, so they can beat the piss out of each other. Now, back to Nic, because if he hasn’t beaten our favorites yet, he will eventually. They will be added to the ever-growing list, and Nic will reign forever as…
YOUR!
YOUR!
YOUR!
YOUR!
TNA World Heavyweight Champion! Now, hit his music, they’re out of here.
Gia Miller is in the back, and she has Leon Slater. She wants to know if he is done with Cedric Alexander, and Slater says he would be lying if he wasn’t disappointed about what happened at Slammiversary. But that rat bastard Alexander stole the title from him, and he isn’t done coming after the title. It doesn’t matter if he has the title or not, because he is the face of the X-Division! But tonight, he is going to defeat Eddie Edwards, because he saw what he did to Moose and his family, and he will knock the shit out of Edwards. He is scum, and he will put him in his place, YA HEAR ME?
Tom and Matt run down the matches for tonight. The audio gets way too loud when Matt is trying to introduce the opening match after the break, which will be Mara Sade and Tasha Steelz in our first TV Title Tournament match!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
We return to see the announce that Tracy Brooks made on Sunday, with the unveiling of the NEW Knockouts TV Title! Tom lets us know that matches will have a ten-minute limit, and so I wonder what will happen if matches reach the time limit.
TNA Knockouts TV Title Quarterfinals Match: Tasha Steelz vs. Mara Sade
We get inset promos from both ladies as they make their entrance. This is pretty cool, and hopefully they do this for all of them.
Sade and Steelz trade early sunset flips and roll-up attempt to no avail. Tasha heads to the floor out of spite, but Mara hits her with a baseball slide. Sade smacks Tasha’s face off the apron, Steelz tries to get away, but Sade hits her with a SPEAR! Sade returns Steelz to the ring, but Tasha rolls out the other side of the ring. Sade follows, but her kick is caught, and Tasha drops her face-first on the apron.
Back in the ring, and Tasha lays in the punches and taunts Mara. Hammer throw and an elbow smash in the corner. Steelz rolls through with Sade and kicks her in the face, but Sade won’t stay down. Tasha works the most dreaded chin lock, but when Sade gets to her feet, Tasha gouges her eyes. Steelz loads up some short arm clotheslines before hitting a Michinoku Driver for a two.
Tasha heads to the top, but she takes too long and her splash comes up empty. Steelz charges at Sade in the corner, but Mara moves, and Tasha runs into the ring post and falls to the floor. Sade lines up Steelz and hits a springboard crossbody block to the floor! Mara returns Tasha to the ring, and Sade blocks Steelz shots with her own. Sade off the ropes with a sling blade! Corner hip attack by Sade leads to some Austin-like stomps in the corner to Steelz.
Steelz tries to sucker in Sade with an enziguri, but she misses, and Sade plants Tasha with a sit out Powerbomb, but Steelz is out at two. Steelz counters with a neck breaker for a two. Steelz turns that into Rings of Steelz submission, but Sade sits back to pin Steelz and break the hold. Tasha looking cutter, but Sade smashes her with a kick to the face.
To the top goes Sade, but Steelz stops her. Tasha charges in again, but Sade sits up in the corner, and Tasha runs face-first into the bottom turnbuckle. Sade loads up the Moonsault, connects, and Mara moves on!
WINNER: Mara Sade
TIME: 7:45
THOUGHTS: A fun match. I will admit that I have been watching TNA long enough this time out to see Steelz be more than just the propaganda machine behind Order-4, so I was impressed with what she did. But Sade is Sade!
RATING: ***1/2
We see BDE and Rich Swann in the back. They both insist that if it comes down to them in the ring tonight, then there will be no hard feelings. BDE says that he hasn’t even won a match yet in TNA, and he calls Swann Unc. Rich says come on now, I ain’t that old!
Speaking of, that six-way scramble is coming up next!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
Add for Lockdown, coming August 23rd in Chicago!
Six-way scramble match for a shot at the TNA X-Division Title: Mr. Elegance vs. BDE vs. The Hometown Man vs. Jason Hotch vs. Fabian Aichner vs. Rich Swann
Everyone grabs a partner and we get a scramble. Swann and BDE do battle in the ring, fulfilling the prophecy from earlier. Mr. Elegance is back and takes out both men and screams THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! Vinci is back and he takes out Mr. Elegance and HTM. Vinci loads up Swann for an avalanche Butterfly Suplex! The cover, but Swann is out at two.
Vinci catches out BDE, but here comes Hotch with a top rope splash from the top, taking out both men. Hotch rolls into the clutches of HTM, who takes him for an airplane spin! He takes out everyone else in the match before hitting Hotch with the TKO! The hometown is very much behind HTM, as he wipes out folks on the floor.
Mr. Elegance grabs HTM by the mask and gouges hie eyes. BDE tries to take out Mr. Elegance, but he eats the post as a result. Swann off the top with a Phoenix Splash to everyone on the floor! Back in the ring, and Mr. Elegance stops Swann on the top rope from doing another dive. Hotch is in, and he suplexes both men from the top, and in the process, Swann ends up hitting a moonsault to Aichner. That was creative. Hotch tries to pin everyone, but he goes nowhere.
HTM with a headbutt, but he gets rammed into the corner. Swann with a springboard back elbow to Hotch, but Mr. Elegance hits Excusesz-Moi! BDE with a frog splash to Mr. Elegance, but Aichner sneaks back and he plants BDE with a Powerbomb, and he’s got the title shot!
WINNER: Fabian Aichner
TIME: 5:25
THOUGHTS: Boy, they didn’t get a lot of time, but they executed the SCRAMBLE part of the match perfectly. Not surprised that Aichner won, since he did come in and start things up with the System.
RATING: ***3/4
AMC is now presenting the Injury Report!
We see Ricky Sosa walking in the back for his promo. He’s stopped by AJ Francis and Expressions. Expressions says he is a big fan, and AJ Francis wants to know if he wants to ride with Top Dollar? Francis says you can say yes, or if you don’t, it will be BANG BANG! Sosa says he isn’t joining up with them, so BANG BANG!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
Earlier on, we saw Mustafa Ali on his cell phone after Tasha lost her match. Post-break, we see he is still on his phone, as the Great Hands and Tasha walk up. Ali doesn’t want to hear excuses. He’s not even upset that they lost, but he despised the fact that they are complacent with losing. Skyler says they are going to get another tag title shot, but Ali says he will go to Daria Rae’s office, and he will get this fixed.
SOSA SOSA! Ricky is here for a chat! Yo Albany! At Slammiversary, it was a tough battle, but he defeated Eric Young! And if you didn’t know, this was his first PPV and he got his first win. He proved why he is in TNA, and this is just the beginning. I’ve heard the people talking, I felt the stress, I felt the pressure. But also that was remaining was BANG, BANG, SOSA, SOSA!
The Righteous are here to interrupt. Dutch says you hear the chatter to? They keep hearing that Ricky is a once-in-a-lifetime signing, and maybe he is. But potential isn’t greatness if it isn’t realized. And that’s where Uncle Dutch and Vincent step in!
Vincent says look at the Hardy’s. They were already legends, but they wanted to show them that there was still a chapter to be written. Ricky, on your own, there are limits, but with us, there are no limits, you dig what I’m saying?
The System are here, and Alisha assaults by auditory senses. She says that drinking the Kool-Aid doesn’t get you anywhere. And the only way that you will get somewhere is if you ride with the System!
Eddie says his ride or die is right. Look at Bear Bronson, he joined, and he became a tag team champion. Look at Cedric, he joined the System and he became your X-Division Champion. What do you want in life, to be a Champion, or join a cult?
Vincent says all he hears is non-sense. They want Ricky on their side because they see him as a threat. And it’s hard to take them seriously when their action is to just throw in the towel.
Ricky keeps them separated, like the Offspring. He tells the Righteous that his answer is no, and he doesn’t know why the System are laughing, because his answer is HELL NO! He gets attacked by Alexander, and Bronson and Dutch get in each other’s face. But the Righteous leave the ring, and Leon Slater is here! The numbers are still too strong for the System.
Allie and Heather by Elegance will do battle, next!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
Elijah is strumming his fancy orange lights guitar as we return. He states the obvious that he is Elijah. I’m glad he told me, otherwise I would have thought his name was another one that started with an E. He interpolates playing with storytelling about getting his music and his likeness, despite Francis trying to take it from him. Everyone will learn that in TNA, we walk this way!
ELEGANCE!
TNA Knockouts TV Title Quarterfinals Match: Heather by Elegance W/M by Elegance vs. Allie W/Rosemary
Inset promos from both women before the match.
Heather attacks before the bell, clearly not over the Knockouts tag team title loss on Sunday. Heather takes Allie to the corner, and she follows in with an elbow. She tries again, but she takes too long, and Allie hits her with a corner forearm to the face. Heather hits the floor, and she thinks she has escaped from Allie, but she is waiting for her with a John WOOOOO dropkick! Allie wants to bite us, and she celebrates with Rosemary.
Heather turns the table and dropkicks Allie out of the ring and to the floor. Allie rolls back into the ring and tries to create separation with elbows, but Heather throws her down by her hair. Heather chokes out Allie against the middle rope and then hits a knee strike to the back of the head for a two. Maggie tells the ref how to count and, frankly, that’s fair.
Heather with a hammer throw and a corner clothesline. Heather locks in a side headlock, Allie to her feet, but Heather AGAIN rips her down to the mat by her hair. Heather looking for a moonsault, but Allie moves, and Heather bounces off the canvas.
The Bunny is back to her feet, and she trades blows with Heather. Allie off the ropes with clotheslines galore. Kick to the gut and a knee strike from Allie. Allie heads to the top, screams DEMON BUNNY, and locks Heather in the tarantula! Allie looks to bring Heather back in, but Maggie is on the apron. Rosemary takes her off the apron, but the distraction allows Heather to hit a double stomp from the top to Allie, and she is moving on!
WINNER: Heather by Elegance
TIME: 5:35
THOUGHTS: Kind of figured that Allie wasn’t going to win again after her and Rosemary won the KO tag team titles match on Sunday. Not a bad match.
RATING: ***
We will hear from the NEW Knockouts Champion Xia Brookside, next!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
Xia Brookside is here post-break, with the title high above her head. She grabs a mic from ring side. I hate to say it, actually, no I don’t! I told you so! I told you that Lei Ying Lee was selfish. I told her that she was holding me back. I told her that as long as I stood in her shadow, no one would ever see just how good Xia Brookside is. Well, look at me now! I was right about everything! And now, I am the NEW TNA Knockouts World Champion!
Lee, I hope Slammiversay told you a lesson. I told you, I hope it taught you, that this division doesn’t belong to you. This title belongs to me. And let that be a warning to everyone in the Knockouts Division. If you try to come between me and my Knockouts Title, I will do whatever it takes to keep my title.
Well, Xia said her name too many times, spawning Lee from the back! She says there will be a day that they look back on their battle at Slammiversary, and she lost her title to her. But after you had to cheat to win that title, I look at you, and I don’t see a Champion. I see a FAKE BITCH! Lee gets into the ring as the fans take the FAKE BITCH chant. Xia, now you are the one with everything to lose. Lee has her Championship rematch, and it will happen next week on Impact!
Xia looks to attack, but Lee catches her for the Warrior’s Way! Xia gets out of dodge, and Lee says if you want weapon that’s fine, let’s make this a NO DQ MAAAAAAAAAAAATCH!
Mustafa Ali approaches Daria Rae in the back. Ali says some people think that she owes him an apology, but he doesn’t mind that. He believes in the Great Hands, and he wants one more shot for them to defeat the Hardy’s. Daria says that what she says goes, whether the match is a two-way, three-way, six-way, or an eight-way. Ali says fair, but Rae does say that the match sounds interesting. Ali floats the idea of the match for next week, and Rae says that sounds good.
The Blessed KC Navarro is here to beat up that DORK Ryan Nemeth, next!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
KC Navarro vs. Ryan Nemeth W/his Mentor, his best friend, his BIG BROTHER, Nic Nemeth
Nic will be joining commentary for this one.
Nemeth shoves Navarro and talks some smack. Navarro off the ropes, Nemeth keeps missing clotheslines, but Navarro with a flying lariat for a two. Navarro with corner elbows and a Snapmare, but Nemeth rips KC from the top rope and to the apron. Ryan wants Nic to watch, as he hits a drive-by knee. Nemeth with a neck breaker, and he rolls KC back into the ring for a two count.
Nemeth grabs KC by the hair before he locks on the chinlock. Jawbreaker counter from KC, Navarro off the ropes with a clothesline and a dropkick. He’s fired up, and he reverses Ryan’s hammer throw with an around the world DDT for a two. Navarro looking for the Blessing in Disguise, but Ryan moves. He goes after Nemeth in the corner, but again Ryan moves, and KC hits the ring post. Nemeth rolls him up for a two.
Nemeth again points to his older brother and he gyrates. He grabs Navarro and again gyrates, but Navarro dropkicks him into the ropes. The 305 connects, and the Blessing in Disguise wins it for Navarro!
WINNER: KC Navarro
TIME: 4:10
THOUGHTS: Anytime Ryan Nemeth loses is good in my book. No way that Nemeth should be beating Navarro here. After all, this was more about the post-match stuff anyway.
RATING: ***
Post-match, Nic wants Ryan to shake KC’s hand, and he begrudgingly does so. He hugs Ryan and then hugs KC, but Nic hits KC with the Danger Zone! OMGZ WTFBARBECUE, who could have seen THAT coming!
Our main event match between Eddie Edwards and Leon Slater is up next!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
The Hardy’s are here post-break! Matt Hardy says that Ali called in a favor for the Great Hands to face us for the titles. Jeff says that is a sacrifice, and Matt says that’s at the very least. Matt says and Jeff call their fans the Diehardy’s (I think I got that one right), and Matt says the Great Hands will learn that you cannot put the Hardy’s down. Jeff says they have the nuts and the guts to get it done, and they both do finger gun poses. Well, at least Matt isn’t BROKEN right now.
It’s time for the MAIN EVENT! Tom hints that a commercial break is coming, but apparently TNA+ didn’t get the memo, as we see Slater interacting with the fans at ring side. To kill more time, Alisha has the mic and she wants to assault our hearing with her shrill voice. She says we are all losers, yet SHE was the one threw in the towel for Eddie on Sunday. So, by definition, doesn’t that make them the losers? The fans won’t cheer for Eddie, so Leon poses and his music plays again lol. This happens yet again, and I can’t say that I am not amused lol.
I think TNA+ is high on meth, because it went to the break in progress screen, and then cut to Ultimate-X footage. I’m not sure what the hell it’s doing here.
Eddie Edwards W/his ride or die vs. Leon Slater
FINALKLY after all of that posturing, it’s go-time. Slater with a big dropkick at the bell. He mounts Eddie in the corner with punches. Eddie slows it down by gouging the eyes of Slater. Hammer throw, Eddie misses his clothesline, recoil enziguri from Slater. Handspring back elbow follows, and Slater boots Eddie out of the ring. Slater lines up Eddie and hits a springboard crossbody!
Eddie is returned to the ring, as Leon heads to the top. Eddie avoids, but Leon kicks him in the gut anyway. Slater does the Spider-Man in the ropes, but Eddie isn’t amused, as he hits a backbreaker. Eddie stomps out Slater in the corner, and he takes time to scowl. Edwards with chops and a hammer throw so hard that Slater hits the corner upside down. Eddie chokes out Leon like Homer would Bart, and he sends Leon flying with a back body drop, but Leon kicks out at one.
Edwards grabs Slater and he runs his face against the middle rope. This allows Alisha the change to choke Slater behind the back of the ref. Scoop slam from Edwards, as he walks around like he is confused. Eddie to the top, but his moonsault comes up empty. Slater is fired up as he hits clotheslines and avoids a Blue Thunder Bomb. Eddie with a chop, but Slater with a corkscrew kick. Slater to the top and he hits Eddie with a crossbody block for a two.
Tom runs down official matches for next week, as Slater picks up Edwards. Eddie creates space, but he walks into a boot from Leon. Slater to the top, but Eddie kicks him in the face. Backpack Stunner, but Slater kicks out at two. Both men take turns following each other across the ring. Eddie wins out with a kitchen sink, and he hits a Tiger Bomb for a two. He hits a second one for another two.
Alisha’s shrill voice causes everyone to lose their hearing, as Eddie lines up Leon. Boston Knee Party, but Slater catches him with a front face slam. Slater to the top rope, Alisha has the ref, and Cedric Alexander is here! Slater greets him with a crossbody and a thrust kick, but the distraction allows Eddie to roll up Slater with a handful of tights and he steals it!
WINNER: Eddie Edwards
TIME: 7:35
THOUGHTS: Slater was prime, but Eddie is just so slow and methodical that he brings the temp down something fierce. Not a bad main event by any means, but I think either of the opening matches could have worked here, too.
RATING: ***1/4
Post-match, Eddie and Cedric look to attack Leon, but Ricky Sosa is here! He cleans house of Edwards and Alexander, and he embraces Slater in the ring! They hold the ring, and with that, we are done!
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