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Impact Zone! It’s Thursday Night, which means that we are in for a brand new edition of the delight known as TNA Impact! Coming to us from the taped sessions that took place in Philadelphia, tonight’s main highlight will be the World Heavyweight Title being defended. But we’ll also get a semifinals match in the Knockouts TV Title tourney, a six-man tag centered around Order-4, and a pair of matches involving members of the System.
For more on this and everything else, let’s roll the Headlines!
So, how is everyone doing on this Thursday Night? I’ve enjoyed the new episodes of the Shards on Hulu. As someone who despised them in high school, nothing makes me happier than to see preppy kids get attacked and put in cages. It makes me happier than the Phillies are right now, but hey, the Eagles hit the field on Saturday for the pre-season opener, and the Fever can continue to roll tomorrow night.
But enough about me and enough about you, let’s get ready to brace for Impact!
Tonight, Impact is LIVE (to Tape!) from the Liacouras Center at Temple University in Philadelphia! Tom Hannifan and Matt Rehwoldt are on the call for us!
Highlights from last week greet us at the word go. Xia Brookside defeated Wendy CHOO-CHOO to retain her KO Title, only to be confronted by Elayna Black! Next, the “main event” contract signing between Nic Nemeth and Jeff Hardy!
I’M READY FOR YOU aka the Title Sequence!
BANG BANG, SOSA SOSA!
Ricky Sosa vs. Brian Myers W/Da Bear
Myers throws his shirt at Sosa before the bell, so Sosa fires up with a clothesline, a hip toss, and a back splash for a two. BANG BANG goes Ricky, but Myers scurries out of the ring. He wants a timeout, but here comes Sosa. Myers turns it around thanks to Bronson’s distraction, and he hits Sosa with a suplex onto the apron.
In the ring now, and Myers works over Sosa with kicks and an axe handle. More kicks from Myers, who takes time to pose over Sosa. Myers with a suplex for a two. Myers sits up Sosa, drives his knee into his spine, and then applies a Davey Boy Smith approved chinlock. Sosa attempts to get back home, but Myers rips him back down to the mat and repeats the same damn process.
Sosa tries again, and this time he punches his way free. Ricky ducks a clothesline and hits Myers with a corkscrew kick! Sosa scores with not ONE but TWO running forearms. Sosa leapfrogs Myers and scores with a Powerslam for a two. Sosa off the ropes with the springboard moonsault for another two. Sosa has Myers lined up, but Bronson is on the apron, so Ricky kicks him off the apron. Myers takes advantage with a clothesline and a DDT for a two.
Myers lining up Sosa for the Roster Cut, but Sosa intercepts him with a dropkick for another two. Prime Alexander is here, but Sosa dispatches of him. Myers lays out Sosa. Bronson is on the apron now to talk to the ref, Myers has Cedric’s X-Title, but here comes Leon Slater to take the title away! HEADSHOT from Sosa, and Ricky wins it!
WINNER: Ricky Sosa
TIME: 5:40
THOUGHTS: The right man won, and Sosa overcame a crap ton of interference to put Myers down. When Ricky was in control, it was fun, but when Myers was in control, it was boring. I feel like I CAN find the right rating for that somewhere in the middle.
RATING: ***
Post-match, Leon has the mic. Nah, Fam, you aren’t getting away so easily with this. Last week, he laid out a challenge to Cedric for a X-Title match at Lockdown. And to his surprise, Alexander said no. And he knows that Cedric has become a rat, but he never turns down a fight. So, Slater wandered why. It’s not because you can’t fight, it’s not because there isn’t demand for it. No, Leon finally got his answer. Deep down, you are nothing but a scared, jealous, little BITCH! So, I’m looking you eye-to-eye, man-to-man, and I am issuing the challenge again! And this time, I am willing to give whatever it takes.
Cedric says you want a shot at his title? Prime Alexander is not afraid of you. Alexander does want something from Slater. If Leon wins, he gets his X-Title. But when Prime wins, your second longest title reign fails to exist. ERASE, ERASE, ERASE! That’s what Cedric wants!
Leon confirms that is what Cedric wants, and Leon says you are on! See you at Lockdown! Alexander says when your history is erased from this company, you only have yourself to blame.
That’s definitely a stipulation, I think.
Gia Miller has BDE and Rich Swann in the back. She says Mustafa Ali said they could pick any partner except for Jason Hotch, so how are you going about this? Swann says Ali doesn’t control everything like he thinks he does, and they are going to GOOOOOOOOOOO to the top! BDE says that their partner is someone that has been waiting for the right time to get their hands on Ali, and Swann says you will learn who our partner is later on tonight. Suspense!
Moose has a homage for Frankie Kazarian, next!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
AJ Francis is here to reintroduce himself in one of his many studios around the country. He wants us to hear the new one, but Elijah is here. He says Francis tried to crucify me, and Expressions tried to get one over one me. But at Lockdown, there will be no lawyers, no Expressions, just AJ and Elijah inside the cage. Francis tries to leave the booth, but the doors are locked. The lights go out, and it was a mirage. The guy in the sound booth asks Francis if he is okay, and he feigns not being bothered.
The Face of TNA is here! Ah, Moose is dressed like Frankie, and he even has his set-up in the ring! So, Frankie has his own segment called the King’s speech, and it inspired so much that I needed my own show. So, I snuck into his locker room, stole his scarf and these gas station sunglasses. But he looks like a douchebag, so he is going to remove the scarf and the sunglasses.
Just like how Frankie has guests, Moose’s guests is every fan tonight here in Philadelphia! So, he has some questions for us.
Moose: Who is the face of the Franchise?
Fans: MOOSE!
Moose: Who just celebrated a decade in TNA?
Fans: MOOSE!
Moose: Who singlehandedly beat every member of the System?
Fans: MOOSE!
Moose: Who has been offered a contract by every major wrestling company in the world but turned it down because he loves TNA?
Fans: MOOSE!
Moose: And the most important question, who is going to kick Frankie’s ass at Lockdown?
Fans: MOOSE!
Frankie is here to object to this. He says Moose is as stupid as the fans are. He can play this game too, and when he asks questions, he expects the fans to answer with KING.
Frankie: Who is the greatest wrestler in TNA?
Fans: MOOSE!
Frankie: Who is the King of TNA?
Fans: MOOSE!
Frankie: One last chance, you idiots. Who is going to walk out of the cage victorious at Lockdown?
Fans: MOOSE!
Frankie says this game sucks and he tells Moose that comparing Moose, a failed football player, to Frankie is like comparing filet minion to bad gas station food, like Wawa. Moose says you can make fun of me, because I can take it, but you won’t insult my guests! Frankie calls Moose a braindead idiot who is a horrible husband.
Well, those are fighting words, as Moose punches Frankie in the mouth. Frankie turns the tables with some corner body blows, but he grabs one of the stools and tries to hit Moose and he gets tackled to the mat. Security is here to break things up, and Frankie runs from the ring.
Matt runs down the rest of the card tonight. The six-man tag is up, next!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
Video Package for the Hardys (So sorry I kept adding the apostrophe, Damion) and the Nemeth Brothers. In case you didn’t get enough of them in tonight’s main event, they will also be fighting for the tag team titles at Lockdown. Also, as Jeff called people stupid, but I am still trying to wrap my head around what “I’m a sober drunk” is supposed to mean.
It’s time to restore some Order!
Order-4 W/Tasha Steelz and Mila Moore vs. Rich Swann, BDE, and TBD
And their mystery tag team partner is the returning Trey Miguel! Trey is back from a broken kneecap that he suffered back at Rebellion in April!
Miguel and Ali to start this match. No, Ali rolls to the corner and tags in Skyler lol. Miguel with an arm drag, a dropkick, and a kip-up by Trey! Trey with the tag, triple team offense takes care of Skyler. BDE and Swann lay out Ali, and it takes all three men to take care of Special Agent Zero. The babyfaces hold the ring, as Swann and BDE dance!
Order-4 have a discussion on the floor. Skyler is returned to the ring, and he gouges the eyes of Swann. Skyler runs in, but Swann kicks him in the face. Paige the ref is distracted, allowing Zero the chance to Chokeslam Swann! Zero in now officially, as he rams Swann in the corner. Big arse Beal to follow, as he chucks Swann to a neutral corner. Zero throws Swann into said corner and then military presses Swann right back to the same corner.
Ali in now, as he mocks and stomps Swann. With Paige distracted, Mila chokes Swann! NGL, I am so jealous of Rich there. Skyler with the tag, John with stomps and he shuts down Swann’s strikes with a lariat. Zero with the tag, and he hits a back splash. Zero with a headbutt to Swann and a release Vertical Suplex.
Ali in the match now but hie cockiness costs him a thrust kick! Zero tags back in, and he stalks Swann to the corner. Rich tries to fight him off with kicks and strikes, but he runs into a back body drop from Zero. Swann is held against the ropes, where Zero lands cross-face punches. End of Days from Zero, who kips-up and tags in Ali. The tide turns when Swann spikes Ali on his head with a head scissor.
Skyler tries to keep Swann from tagging out, but he can’t and Miguel is in! Trey proceeds to wreck Ali’s shit before getting rolled up by Skyler. Trey kicks out and he dropkicks John in the ass lol. Zero lays out Miguel, strikes BDE down, and then hits both BDE and Swann with a Chokeslam! Miguel fights off Zero, he hits the ring post, and Trey with a dive to wipe out the big man on the floor! Miguel back in the ring and he hits Skyler with the Lightning Spiral for the win!
WINNERS: Trey Miguel, Rich Swann, and BDE
TIME: 8:40
THOUGHTS: Awesome to have Trey back. I’m not sure where he fits in the current landscape since he’s been out for four months, but going after Ali certainly isn’t a bad start.
RATING: ***1/4
Post-match, Miguel is celebrating his victory, but just like the Terminator, Zero has risen! He hits Miguel with a Choke Bomb! Ali tells Zero to take his ass out, but here comes Jason Hotch to run off Zero and Ali!
Xia Brookside is bitching at the makeup lady in the back. She tells her she messed up and that she has to blend properly.
It’s time for the AMC Injury Report!
The Semifinals of the KO TV Title tourney kicks off, next!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
We head to the back, as Xia is still having her make-up done. She gets out of the chair and complains that took too long. She looks in the mirror, and she hates what she looks like. Elayna Black walks up with a brush, and Xia is angry that Black did this to her. They shove each other, Xia shoves Elayna into a traveling case, and she runs off like a gazelle lol.
Elegance, indeed!
Knockouts TV Title Semifinals Match: Indi Hartwell vs. M by Elegance
Indi’s entrance in the ring is interrupted by M, who tries to show her up. Hartwell attacks at the bell, M fights back, but her foot is caught by Indi. Maggie screams, but she eventually escapes and hits a dropkick. Indi avoids a corner charge from M, Hartwell with a bulldog, but M is out at one. Indi leaps out to the apron and kicks M in the head.
Hartwell to the top, but M shakes the ropes. Hartwell ends up in a Tree of WOE to the outside, and M hits a running dropkick to Indi, sending her to the floor. M with strikes, she rolls in to break the count and continues the abuse around ringside. Matt says that the Elegance Brand could do another “Fingerpoke of Doom” when they meet in the TV Title finals. LOL. M with a vertical suplex on the floor, and she rolls Indi back into the ring and gets a two on the pin.
Hartwell attempts to fight back, but M shuts her down. To the corner they go, as M lands kicks and then a springboard spinning kick. The cover, but Indi is out at two. M with body blow knee drops, and she stretches out Indi. M goes back to the stretch, and she screams at Indi to QUIT! Hartwell won’t quit, but she does get kneed in the gut. M patronizes Indi, and she misses her springboard splash. M misses another corner splash, allowing Indi to hit clotheslines and the Spinebuster for a two.
Indi looks to head up top, but M grabs her boot. Indi kicks her away, and she gets to the top. M springs into action to meet Indi up there, but Hartwell wins that one, sending M to the mat. Indi with the Macho Man elbow drop, but M kicks out at two.
Both ladies roll out to the floor, and they trade hands. We see Elayna Black rolling down the ramp, and Xia Brookside in pursuit. Indi is distracted by this, and M throws her into the ring steps. M returns Hartwell to the ring, she heads to the top and connects with the moonsault! She grabs the tights of Indi to keep her down!
WINNER: M by Elegance
TIME: 7:20
THOUGHTS: Not a bad match. M winning keeps her rise as a singles star intact. Whether she wins the finals or not is another story, but at least she made it. Indi is bulletproof, and this lose doesn’t hurt her.
RATING: ***
We go back to the year 2023 in Coventry, England, where we see Harley Hudson in competition to earn a roster spot in TNA. Joe Hendry is there, and he announces that she is the winner. We get pictures of Harley and her family and friends. Hudson says if it was all about will and the fight, she would be a Champion 100 times over. She has a lot of negative feelings after Daria Rae said that she was expandable. It’s nothing personal, but she has to beat Alisha Edwards.
Speaking of Harley and Alisha will face off next week. But as for tonight, Alisha’s husband will face KC Navarro, next!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
During the break, we see Moose has been laid out! Alright, time to open up the game of Clue and see if the Butler did it with the candlestick.
YOU WANNA KNOW SOMETHING? No, no I don’t.
Eddie Edwards w/Alisha vs. KC Navarro
Tom mentions that Navarro has his grandmother and mother here to watch him compete tonight.
SUPERKICK from KC right at the bell. Edwards to the ropes, KC with the 305! Blessing in Disguise, but Eddie rolls out of the ring. Navarro changes course and he hits a Tope Suicida to Eddie on the floor! Back in the ring, and KC hits a splash for a two! KC lines up Eddie, but Alisha grabs his foot. Here comes Eddie, who misses initially, but ends up ramming KC into the ring post.
Across the ring they go, and KC meets a second friendly ring post. Here comes a third friendly ring post, as Eddie celebrates his handiwork. Snapmare and a chinlock from Eddie, but KC is up. Eddie looking Backpack Stunner, but Navarro escapes and hits a DDT! Alisha throws her shoe into the ring. Paige the ref argues with Alisha, and Eddie has the kendo stick. KC stomps on it, and Eddie begs off! KC with the thrust kick, he smacks Eddie with the kendo stick, and the Blessing in Disguise finishes it!
WINNER: KC Navarro
TIME: 3:05
THOUGHTS: Nice of Eddie to do the JOB in this one. KC showed a lot of fire and he impressed in front of his family tonight.
RATING: ***1/4
Post-match, the System are here to attack. They wrap a chair around the neck of KC, and Eddie heads to the top rope. Here come Fabian Aichner, Leon Slater, Ricky Sosa, and Jada Stone with weapons, and the System hightail it! Santino Marella is here! SONOFAGUN, he doesn’t like weapons being used, but there will be a time and place for them. At Lockdown, there will be a Lethal Lockdown match between the System and Aichner, Slater, Navarro, and Stone! The System do not like this one bit.
Our main event is coming to us, next!
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
We get a look at the matches that are on tap for next week, the go-home show for Lockdown!
Allie is still walking around the back looking for Rosemary. She sees “The Struggle is Real” written on a mirror, and she looks at it for a while. And that’s it.
Tale of the tape for tonight’s World Title match. ANOTHER ME IS WHAT THERE WILL NEVER BE! ANOTHER LIFE LIKE THIS YOU WILL NEVER SEE! Jeff Hardy is out looking like he is interpolating all of his personalities lol. He also has his custom TNA World Title belt from, like, 15 years ago! Nic Nemeth is out and he gyrates in front of a girl who has a sign reading “Hot Girls love Nic Nemeth”. She kind of looks like Liv Morgan lol.
And of course, we get ANOTHER commercial break ten minutes after the previous one. LMAO.
BREAK IN PROGRESS!
TNA World Heavyweight Title Match: Nic Nemeth (C) vs. World Tag Team Champion Jeff Hardy
McKenzie Mitchell, in a different outfit, does the in-ring introductions for this one.
Alright, now it’s go time! The bell rings, as Hardy is twirling his shirt around. Damn, that gave me Victory Road 2011 flashbacks. I’m just glad he’s past that. Nemeth and Hardy lock-up, and Nemeth grabs wrist control. Hardy escapes and applies a headlock to Nemeth. Nic stomps on his foot to escape, but Hardy counters with the thrust kick and the Twist of Fate attempt, but Nemeth begs off.
Nemeth wrestles Hardy to the mat, and he rolls him up for a two. Nemeth embarrasses Hardy with his amateur wrestling ability, and he hits a dropkick to Hardy. Nemeth gouges at the eyes of Hardy in the corner, but Jeff takes over and he bops Nic’s head into three of the four corners. Upon trying to Connect Four, Nemeth knees Hardy and lands strikes. Hardy fights back and looks for his submission, but Nemeth gets to the ropes. He lands a low shot to Hardy, and he stretches his face across the top rope. Nemeth looks to break Jeff’s face between the ropes.
Nemeth with a hard Irish Whip that causes Hardy to stumble to another corner. Nemeth misses a clothesline, and Jeff connects with the spinning kick. Nemeth ends up on the floor, and Hardy wipes him out with a flying lariat from the apron! Jeff goes to pick up a chair at the barricade, but he thinks better of it and instead throws Nic into the ring steps. Nemeth is returned to the ring, and he hypes up the fans. Snapmare into a basement dropkick from the challenger, and the Champion kicks out at two.
The fans want tables, which I believe makes for the loudest chant of the night. Nemeth turns the tables and he rams Hardy’s face into the corner. Nemeth mocks Jeff’s dance before landing an elbow drop for a two. Hardy is set up into the Tree of WOE, and Nemeth scores with a basement dropkick. Jeff is still stuck, as Nemeth backs up and hits another basement dropkick. Nic with his HBK circa 1992 mannerisms, and he tells Carlos Silva that he can throw in the towel for Jeff if he wants.
Nemeth prances around some more before he locks on the most dreaded DBS chinlock. Hardy stirs, so Nemeth with another “Shot to the Heart” elbow drop for a two. Nemeth goes for the eyes of Hardy and he professes innocence. He lines up Hardy in the corner, but Jeff moves, and Nic smashes his wanted testies in the corner. Hardy fires up with clotheslines, the back elbow, the atomic drop, the double leg, and the always legal double leg drop to the dick. The basement dropkick and Jeff’s own elbow drop follow for a two.
Hardy looking for Spinal Destination, but Nemeth escapes with a thumb to the eye, and he throws Jeff into the corner. Hardy to the middle of the ring, and Nemeth spikes him with the DDT for a two. Nemeth stalks Jeff, kick to the knee, but Nemeth runs into a sit-down Powerbomb from Hardy, which gets him a two. REF, YOU SUCK chants, as Hardy stalks Nemeth. Nic wants a timeout, but Jeff hits the TOF! Jeff looking for another TOF, but Nemeth with the SUPERKICK! He falls into the pin, but Hardy has his hands on the bottom rope. THIS IS AWESOME chants now; Danger Zone is countered with a CUTTER from Hardy!
Jeff takes off his vinyl shirt, he heads to the top rope, but his Swanton Bomb meets the knees of Nemeth! Nic into the pin, but Hardy is out at two. TNA chants, Nemeth lines up Hardy for the SUPERKICK, Hardy counters with a TOF attempt, but Nemeth spins around and connects with the Danger Zone! Finally, Nic has beaten Jeff Hardy in a singles match!
WINNER: Nic Nemeth (And still!)
TIME: 14:20
THOUGHTS: The best thing on the show tonight. There were some lulls in the match, but the rapid fire ending to the match more than made up for it. No one believed that Jeff was going to win the World Title here, so it makes it easier to figure out who is winning at Lockdown.
RATING: ***3/4
Nemeth is awarded his title by Carlos Silva, and he celebrates with the title. And with that, we are done!
