wrestling / Video Reviews
The Furious Flashbacks: DDT Saitama Super DDT
Image Credit: DDT Pro-Wrestling
Loading...DDT Saitama Super DDT
15th February 2015.
We’re in Saitama at the Saitama Super Arena for a massive DDT show. 6,500 in attendance here and it’s one of DDT’s biggest shows of the year. Certainly in terms of in-ring where HARASHIMA defends his title against Kota Ibushi and Strong BJ come after Takeshita & Endo’s tag team titles. Also Kazushi Sakuraba is in action, there’s TLC madness and three other titles are up for grabs. Before the show began DDT debuted another title too; the “King of Dark” title. The champion is the man who gets beaten on the pre-show. Gota Ihashi lost the pinfall to become the first ever King of Dark. Is it daft? Yes. Is it perfect for DDT? Yep. Awesome looking title belt too.
Akebono Army (Akebono, Kazuki Hirata & Toru Owashi) vs. Yoshihiko Army (Great Kojika, Antonio Honda & Yoshihiko)
Ok, so Yoshihiko’s team is at a slight disadvantage before we even get underway as Honda is a comedy wrestler, Kojika is 72 years old and Yoshihiko is a sex doll. For any newcomers…welcome to DDT! I hope you enjoy your experience. Yoshihiko starts out by throwing some crotch chops. I guess “suck it” is an appropriate catchphrase for a sex doll. Hirata, showing how swiftly his star is on the rise, (thanks to a dancing gimmick) comes out after Akebono eliciting a pop roughly twice the size of the former Triple Crown champion. Honda gets some serious heat for jumping him before Hirata has done any dancing. It’s astonishing how popular Hirata is considering I don’t think I’ve ever seen him hit more than two wrestling moves in a row. Obviously the wrestling here is practically non-existent so instead Honda gets his chuckles by injuring his hand punching Akebono and generally begging off. Having failed to even land one punch without hurting himself Honda re-thinks his strategy; TEST OF STRENGTH, MOTHERFUCKER! His defeat in this contest is perhaps the most rapid in test of strength history. Akebono’s decision to completely no sell everything, including the consideration of wrestling a sex doll, makes me laugh. Owashi’s role in DDT, as far as I can tell, is to chide Hirata at every available opportunity. This lights a fire under Hirata, who’s incredibly pissed off about not getting dance time, and stops the match.
DANCE TIME! Honda jumps him again! It’s like watching Footloose only if Kevin Bacon was Japanese and the townsfolk were comedy wrestlers. Hirata taking heat is the only way his team will ever get into any kind of trouble. As I look back on “taking heat” I realise Hirata is getting a shoeing off a comedy guy, a senior citizen and a sex doll. Owashi, Honda and Kojika get into a funky three-way dance off, which incenses Hirata as he was denied the opportunity to dance. Yoshihiko cleans house, no really, and Owashi goes for the desperation tag to Akebono. Akebono gives him a look of ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ Akebono takes a flying headscissors off Yoshihiko, badly, and then rolls out of the ring selling the shame. Hirata has an empty ring.
DANCE TIME! Honda jumps him again! Everyone teases doing the Hirata dance until Kojika does it and they do the whole Too Cool thing with Yoshihiko playing Brian Christopher. Akebono doesn’t take kindly to that and splashes Honda for the win. ***** entertainment. * star technical wrestling. Good fun. Post match Hirata finally gets to dance, having watched everyone else do it, and it’s like watching a cartoon character dance. Or Psy.
Final Rating: **1/2
Iron Man Heavy Metal Championship:
Given the rules of the title, which are vague and bizarre, the belt is defended in a battle royal and when you’re thrown out of the ring you’re out of the match. But the title can change hands on pinfall at any time and if you get pinned, you’re also out. There are 10 men in this and 2 women, one of whom is incumbent champion Aja Kong. She’s attacked by the cameraman backstage as she’s walking out here and the cameraman wins the title!
The new champion is Kubu Yumakoto and because he’s champion he has to come out here and defend the title, which he does while still filming. #2 is Yasu Urano and he’s very confused by having to wrestle the cameraman…who’s filming him do it. Because this is DDT, Yumakoto dominates proceedings until #3 comes out, which is Shunma Katsumata. He rolls Yumakoto up for the title.
#4 is Yuto Aijima. He’s a hoss. I love how Shunma is clinging onto the belt for dear life. #5 is Soma Takao. #6 is Hikaru Sato. He’s a very serious wrestler/MMA fighter but he feels the need to continually stop and pose for photographs on his way out here and also during the match, which he wrestles while holding up a plaque. It’s sublimely ridiculous. He beats Shunma with a half crab, without letting go of the plaque.
#7 is Bernard Ackah. He’s still wearing boxing gloves. Sato faces him carrying both the plaque and the belt, so he has no hands free and goes all INOKI on Ali substitute Ackah. #8 is Tomomitsu Matsunaga. He’s developed a new Toru Yano-esque gimmick of pointing to himself. Sato gets rolled up by Takao and he’s still carrying the plaque. Dedication! #9 is Zeus. The All Japan one, not Tiny Lister, although I wouldn’t put it past DDT to hire Lister too. Being from All Japan Zeus takes this seriously and kills everyone bar Matsunaga. #10 is Saki Akai, the skinny model turned ladies wrestler. Takao gets chokeslammed by Zeus and the title changes hands again.
#11 is Makoto Oishi. His reaction to seeing who’s in the ring is “oh fuck, Zeus, don’t kill me”. Matsunaga screws Zeus, ending their brief union, though and rolls him up for the title.
Zeus lariats Matsunaga for his troubles and Oishi scores the pin. Shin champion!
#12 is Aja Kong. So one of these three is walking out the champion. Aja murders Oishi for the title.
Akai gets a crossbody and they tease her going over poor Aja, who didn’t deserve jobbing to the cameraman, let alone Akai. BACKDROP DRIVER! Akai kicks out! VERTICAL DROP BRAINBUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! Aja Kong is officially champion, still. Just the 6 title changes this evening! These matches are fantastic entertainment, even if that can’t really be reflected in the rating but I did love this. Aja Kong goes knocking over cameramen after her win just in case one of them considers jumping her again!
Final Rating: ***
DDT Extreme Rules Championship:
Akito (c) vs. X
They’ve not actually named Akito’s challenger, nor have they named the stipulations in this one. The Extreme title has different stipulations every time out so it’s hard to know what’ll happen ahead of the bell. Akito’s challenger is Shiori Asahi from K-Dojo. The brilliance of DDT is they’ve actually gotten Asahi over based on him being a frequent mystery opponent of Savio Vega levels and the crowd pop the shit out of him. As for the other big reveal; the stipulation is this is a normal match…until it changes to something else and will continue to change every 90 seconds! So, three absolutely ridiculous matches in a row from DDT. I’m not complaining. The reveal for NORMAL MATCH is greeted with a “huh” from everyone. They have a graphic onscreen in the background to show what the match is changing to.
It starts out a bit tame because everyone is just anticipating the change. The first change of rules is NO GRAPPLING. Asahi gets an armbar and the ref threatens to DQ him! Akito goes for a suplex but that’s not allowed either. The rule changes again to RING OUT LOSES. That creates some wonderful teases with charging and stopping near the ropes. Akito almost falls out but survives as the rule changes again to TWO COUNT WINS. This causes some of the most panicky one-count kick outs in wrestling history. It’s unnatural! Akito gets a Sharpshooter but the stipulations change again to a TAG MATCH. Urano runs in and gets a 2 count! We switch again to SUBMISSIONS ONLY. Akito hooks an anklelock and then the Figure Four. It’s not a good stipulation for Asahi. Asahi grabs the ropes but the rules change again and NO ROPE ESCAPE means Akito can continue the assault and he turns into a Sharpshooter and holds onto the ropes but he gets too cocky, leans back and gets caught in a choke. All while wrapped up in the ropes. Akito finds himself trapped under the bottom rope and Asahi gets the pin for the title. Fuck rope breaks! This was a fascinating match as the frequent rule changes allowed both men to show their cunning and adaptability. A serious promotion could steal this. It is entirely doable.
Final Rating: ***1/4
KO-D Six Man Tag Team Championship:
Gorgeous Matsuno & the Brahmen Brothers vs. Shuten-doji (KUDO, Masa Takanashi & Yukio Sakaguchi)
This is a hilarious mismatch as Shuten-doji are all state-of-the-art badasses and the champions are all comedy wrestlers. The Brahmen are fairly predictable, especially with their water spitting gimmick, so the fans are prepared and hold up veritable walls of newspaper to protect themselves. Matsuno gives even the more elderly among us hope of a wrestling career, seeing as he debuted aged 40 and now, in his mid 50s, is still working for DDT despite looking less like a wrestler than the Blue Meanie. He might be the skinniest guy I’ve ever seen wrestle and I’ve seen an FWA Academy show. Of course there are downsides to his position on the card and Yukio Sakaguchi forces him to kiss a pig’s head. This match is the first real misfire on the show as it drags to 10 minutes, mostly filled with crowd brawls and Brahmen comedy spots. Suitcase. Bowling ball. Road sign. Shuten-doji pair off and allow Sakaguchi to work Matsuno. The Gorgeous one has a frankly terrible moveset and has the temerity to try and armbar Yukio. That gets him choked out. New champions. I find it hard to believe that DDT has three guys as talented as KUDO, Takanashi & Sakaguchi and uses them for this. But then they used to do the same thing to Ibushi & Omega. It’s all part and parcel of the DDT world.
Final Rating: *
TLC Match:
Sanshiro Takagi & Jun Kasai vs. Keisuke Ishii & Shigehiro Irie vs. Daisuke Sasaki & Suguru Miyatake vs. MIKAMI & Shuji Ishikawa
This is certainly an eclectic bunch. There are deathmatch legends like Kasai, young AJPW regulars like Irie, hosses like Ishikawa and the boss himself Takagi. Plus MIKAMI is really into ladders so this match suits him. Before they even get started someone has taken the time to build a CASTLE OF CHAIRS in the ring. Takagi is thrown into this as the opening spot of the match, which gets an “AAAAAHHHHHHH” reaction from the commentators. This being DDT, we’re not entirely sure what’s at stake here. Just that something is hanging over the ring and everyone wants to get it. They do some fairly typical ladder spots. With the exception of Shuji Ishikawa who’s too damn heavy to climb the ladder without it tipping over. At one point everyone starts throwing chairs into the ring and the commentator references the “ECW Arena”. It’s always fun to see what cultural things have crossed over in wrestling. My guess would be that Japanese fans watched that era of ECW because of Terry Funk. The great thing about more diverse promotions is that the referee helps to set spots up. You just don’t get that in mainstream wrestling.
MIKAMI’s love of ladders may take a slight dip during this one as he’s bashed, accidentally, across the brow in a ladder spot. He plays his role well, as does everyone. Sasaki seems like the most organised wrestler on show and seems to link stuff together better than most. Ending up organically tabled in a sick spot from inside the ring to out. An issue with TLC and indeed most matches of this ilk, is the discrepancies in the selling. One moment someone is dead, the next they’re back up for their spot or they disappear entirely while a spot is happening that doesn’t involve them. It’s a necessary evil as a complete free-for-all would be unmanageable. There’s an enormous botch here where Kasai is standing tall and MIKAMI goes to dropkick him in the back, but misses. Kasai realises a moment later what happened and takes a ludicrous late bump off it. The rest of the match is surprisingly clean. The big finish sees Kasai hitting a splash off the ladder through two tables, a stacking job made extremely complex to make the bump safe as houses and Takagi pulls the envelope down.
As I was saying, TLC matches all suffer from the same flaws and now the match, or ones like it, are reasonably commonplace the flaws are all the more obvious. That said this was both fun and had sickening high spots so it gets the thumbs up. The envelope, meanwhile, contains a match contract for an open air show DDT is running in the park in mid-April. Presumably Takagi & Kasai are either wrestling each other or opponents to be named.
Final Rating: ***1/2
Michael Nakazawa vs. Danshoku Dino
Nakazawa has been aiming to leave DDT, and Japan, for some time now. He’s been offered a job in Singapore. However as he was due to leave his wife objected and refused to go with him. Because fuck Singapore. The whole thing has become a soap opera deal with Nakazawa trying to convince his wife to come with him. Nakazawa is cornered by Shigero Matsuzaki, a Japanese singer. For motivational reasons he slaps Michael backstage pre-match. One of the great things about a show in Saitama is the weird looking venue and Dino takes full advantage of this by coming out behind the fans and climbing over them instead of walking around like a normal person. It’s a cool venue. I dig different looking venues. It’s all the years and years of Korakuen Hall shows and Kevin Dunn produced WWE business.
The match has a totally weird vibe about it with Nakazawa cheating before Dino has the chance to do the same to him. It makes him less sympathetic, which doesn’t help them tell the story they’re going for. Matsuzaki acts as the voice of reason and tells Nakazawa he won’t win his wife back with such behaviour. Then Matsuzaki kisses Dino, obviously. After that they get into it with strikes but that results in both men angrily removing their tights and working the rest of the match in budgie smugglers. Somehow Nakazawa is wearing five thongs under his ring gear. If you like your wrestling to be strictly heterosexual and realistic, this is not the match for you. Eventually Nakazawa loses to the Danshoku Destroyer. Does that mean he’s leaving now? He certainly looks upset about this turn of events but does get Matsuzaki to sing him out. Then his wife appears on the big screen in a wedding dress. It turns out she’s decided to stick with him anyway. It’s not exactly Savage-Elizabeth at Wrestlemania VII but I can see what they’re going for. Nakazawa hasn’t worked for DDT since, making me wonder if he was legitimately leaving for a job in Singapore. That would be a bummer.
Final Rating: **1/2
Super Sasadango Machine vs. Kazushi Sakuraba
Yeah, Sakuraba in DDT! Naturally SSM treats this with the respect it deserves and brings a load of young boys out in a train behind him like this is an MMA fight. As per usual SSM brings a PowerPoint presentation to explain how he’ll defeat Sakuraba this evening, a result that if you wagered money on, the bookie would laugh at you. SSM intends to bring science, logic and a literal banana skin to defeat Sakuraba. A banana skin? Has he been watching Survivor Series ’93? For those who don’t recall that’s where Hall of Famer Rikishi, then Fatu, slipped on a banana peel and jobbed to one of the Bushwhackers. Instead of going right into the wackiness, SSM is keen to demonstrate he can actually wrestle and they go at it on the mat and it’s, erm, it’s excellent. I was not expecting that.
But wait! SSM places a banana skin on his face and when Sakuraba goes for the double stomp he slips off. That is genius. BRAINBUSTAAAAAAAAAA…for 2. Sakuraba takes back over with an armbar, as he’s technically far superior to SSM, both for a storyline perspective and in reality. But there’s another banana skin, Sakuraba slips on it. BRAINBUSTAAAAAAAAA…for 2. This might be the greatest selling of Sakuraba’s career as a pro.
But wait! With Sakuraba going after the kimura the match suddenly freezes and SSM appears on the big screen to narrate what’s about to happen. It involves a courageous fightback and we see it visualised in super slow motion. The slow motion eye poke is amazing. In the background we see stills from both men’s careers as their lives literally flash before their eyes. However when we flash back to the present SSM doesn’t duck a slap like he told us he would and instead is belted and quickly submitted with a kimura. This is the kind of thing that isn’t for everyone but I have a soft spot for the Super Sasadango Machine routine. Plus it was Sakuraba doing this. Sakuraba who sometimes finds New Japan a bit lightweight and silly!
Final Rating: ***1/2
KO-D Tag Team Championship:
Konosuke Takeshita & Tetsuya Endo (c) vs. Strong BJ (Daisuke Sekimoto & Yuji Okabayashi)
The challengers come from Big Japan and are awesome. Bad news for the champs is that during a warm-up show for Saitama Sekimoto beat Endo clean and roughed him up while he was about it. The challengers are both big, burly MEN. Whereas the champions are muscular kids. They’ll need to find a better strategy than simply going head to head, which is generally how most Japanese matches play out. Whoever is weakest loses. Which is what happens here. In particular Takeshita looks to stand toe-to-toe with his opponent and gets battered for it. Sekimoto proceeds to take Takeshita to school, giving him the kind of thrashing usually reserved for nobodies. A combination of surly striking and painful stretches. Endo fares a lot better by hitting and moving, focusing on fast, high impact moves that are hard to be countered. Usually because he’s launching himself at his opponents. Sekimoto handles him with ease though, despite Endo’s tactical superiority over Takeshita, and has him beat with a Torture Rack before Takeshita saves. The match is actually quite refreshing as most Strong BJ matches tend to involve four 275lb slabs of meat running into each other for 15 minutes. This match has a tactical flow and it mostly makes sense. Takeshita is keen to get the German suplex on Sekimoto and learns, after early failures, that his best way of doing so is to hit fast and hard. Yakuza kicks and other quick moves give him the shot at the German suplex. But he still can’t get it.
It’s clear that even at his level best, Takeshita is going to get his ass kicked by Sekimoto. But then, out of nowhere, he gets the GERMAN SUPLEX ON SEKIMOTO…TWICE! Sekimoto was shocked after the first one and almost pinned after the bridging second one. It shows how great Sekimoto is when it comes to making smaller guys with inferior bodies and moves appear to be on his level. There aren’t many guys with his size that can believably do that. Endo gets a similar series of moves away on Okabayashi, who I guess is technically the weak link. Endo even gets the Rack Slam away, which is impressive strength considering the sheer girth of Okabayashi. Sky Twister Press…gets 2. High flying is one area where the champions have a clear cut advantage. Takeshita doesn’t wrestle that way but Endo has that in his locker. Endo does some wonderful selling down the stretch as he takes a massive beating and a sequence of hefty spots. Golem Splash finishes for the challengers and they’ll be taking the belts back to Big Japan with them. Pretty much every Sekimoto & Okabayashi tag match has a baseline of ***1/2-**** and this came across as a bit special with the title change and the efforts of the champions.
Final Rating: ****1/4
KO-D Openweight Championship:
HARASHIMA (c) vs. Kota Ibushi
I’ve been anticipating this one since they booked it. HARASHIMA is one of my favourite wrestlers when it comes to psychology and making matches make sense. Whereas Kota Ibushi is arguably the most exciting talent in the world. It makes for a mouth-watering clash. Albeit not their first. The match starts tentatively with neither wanting to give away any strategy. It’s HARASHIMA, the champ, who makes the first move, stomping Ibushi’s guts in. This includes a double stomp off the apron. It’s an interesting tactic, hoping to reduce Kota’s mobility. Taking away his air and slowing him down. When it comes to working a body part, HARASHIMA is among the best in the world. His dissection of Ibushi is only missing one thing; an end result. As much as Kota rolls around holding his stomach it won’t effect him when it comes to delivering offence. It’s a pity as HARASHIMA’s almost casual destruction of Ibushi is a joy to behold. He mixes stretches with impact moves to weaken the midsection. And then Ibushi just comes flying back with a rana. Yeah, he does hold his ribs afterwards but it’s one of those spots where you want him to tone it down to sell the injury. Given Ibushi’s moveset, that will probably never happen. The match switches gears with Kota leaving the ringside area and ordering HARASHIMA to follow.
HARASHIMA, perhaps curious what Ibushi will attempt, obediently follows. What does happen is an Ibushi gymnastics demonstration on the stage followed by a frankly INSANE moonsault off the platform beneath the big screen. It’s probably the same as a moonsault from the ring to the floor but looks more impressive because of the setting. With Ibushi’s big spot having turned the tide he proceeds to hit similar flippity offence in the ring. HARASHIMA has the common sense to go back to the midsection with kicks in defence. Logical, persistent and patient. That’s HARASHIMA. He’s been champion for so long that each title defence has become almost automatic. He could beat most of this roster in his sleep. But Kota isn’t like them. He’s better so HARASHIMA goes into the crazy high spots to try for a win. REVERSE SUPER RANA sets up the SOMATOOOOO and Ibushi kicks out. Kota plays it as if the kick-out was instinct and stays down before suddenly mounting a comeback out of nowhere, another weird shift in selling from Ibushi. But then, if we’re to pick on him for that most of the rest of the world deserves the same treatment. Including the likes of John Cena. Kota steals the Somato to get back into it (it never ceases to amaze me how great Kota is at using other people’s moves, he’s a natural at mimicry) but HARASHIMA moves on the Phoenix Splash and clocks Kota in the back of the head with his own Somato.
The match starts to get a little weary at this point with both of them having worked hard for 20 minutes. So they stay down selling the bigger spots. It’s tonally a lot closer to something Triple H would produce than DDT. They throw in a strikes sequence before Ibushi’s ridiculous lariat (it’s a bit like Genba Hirayanagi’s but with slightly less reach back). Kota decides he needs something special and chases the Phoenixplex. HARASHIMA aids this by attempting a springboard but getting caught on the ropes. PHOENIXPLEX! Kota Ibushi wins the KO-D title. For some reason I found this slightly underwhelming as it never quite erupted into the kind of madness I was fully expecting. It’s a very good match but I was hoping for something resembling a MOTYC, given their collective strengths. Maybe they’re saving it for the re-match.
Final Rating: ****1/4
BOOK PLUGS:
COMPLETE WWF VIDEO GUIDE
THE RAW FILES
SUPERSTAR SERIES
TITAN SINKING
http://getBook.at/TitanSinking
ALL OR NOTHING
You can also follow me on Twitter @ArnoldFurious
