wrestling / Video Reviews
Universal Wrestling Federation (10.10.1987) Review
Image Credit: Universal Wrestling Federation
Loading...-Leapfrogging back to where I was prior to getting the fresh batch of episodes from Fish & Chips on Patreon. Bringing you back up to speed, the UWF is full-blown coffin on roller skates. The format of the show at this point is Jim Ross, Magnum TA, and Missy Hyatt sitting in a barebones news studio to introduce segments, and the show is very transparently turning into JIM CROCKETT PROMOTIONS AND THE NWA featuring the u.w.f.
-Originally aired October 10, 1987.
-Your hosts are the aforementioned Jim Ross, Magnum TA, and Missy Hyatt.
-BREAKING NEWS: Ron Garvin is the new NWA World Heavyweight Champion.
TV TITLE: NIKITA KOLOFF (Champion) vs. BLACK ASSASSIN
-Black Assassin is Bill Tabb, who has to be the unluckiest jobber in the world in terms of timing. If you’ve never seen him, he’s a tall, black wrestler with a million-dollar physique, and therefore very likely to have received a huge push in this promotion if Bill Watts hadn’t walked away from the business earlier in the year. So now instead of being a jobber, he’s a jobber with a gimmick, basically just a Powers of Pain-style makeover.
-Nikita slams him and finishes quickly with the Sickle. By the way, Bob Caudle and Johnny Weaver were on commentary, and Weaver more than ever just sounds like Harry Carey drinking directly from a keg with a swirly straw.
STARRCADE CONTROL CENTER
-Tony Schiavone is here with The Dynamite Rock Star himself, Jim Crockett, who assures us that there will be some closed-circuit coverage of Starrcade. We watch the closing moments of Ron Garvin’s World Title victory over the Nature Boy, which somehow transitions to Jim Crockett’s announcement that Steve Williams will defend the UWF Heavyweight Title against Western States Heritage Champion (snort) Barry Windham.
-JJ Dillon is in the control center, and he says that his attorney has a list of demands ready in the event that he’s presented with a contract for Lex Luger to defend the U.S. Title against Dusty Rhodes to have a match at Starrcade.
-The Jive Tones are here. Pez Whatley could have made a good manager down the road, but those doors just totally closed in the 1990s.
-Bob Caudle is in the arena with JJ Dillon and Lex Luger. He’s lawyering up over the legality of the Weaverlock. Hidden highlight: the security guard pushing away every fan who waves at the camera in the background during this promo. God forbid fans enjoy themselves. One of the things that really bugs me about Crockett’s attempt at national expansion was that they would just kind of tell you that these people were all established legends and expect you to buy into it with no context at all. If you’re a new viewer in Seattle or Minneapolis or wherever, the Weaverlock is a big deal because apparently the commentator who talks like post-stroke Floyd The Barber used it and you’re just supposed to automatically give a shit about that with no frame of reference. Honestly, as eye-rolling as the WWF could be in the late ’80s/early ’90s about not acknowledging anything more than six months old, that made the product a lot easier to process for new viewers.
“Dr. Death” STEVE WILLIAMS (UWF Heavyweight Champion) vs. RED DEVIL
-Brutal start here with Jim Ross and Missy Hyatt on commentary. Missy tries to run down Doc with a line that Jim Ross definitely wrote down for her (it’s about him stealing the title like some football team stole their last win) and she just murders the delivery with a Larry “Bud” Melman reading. General Akbar comes to the ring looking like trouble’s brewing, but Doc finishes with the Stampede and finishes with no trouble.
STING & SHANE DOUGLAS vs. EDDIE GILBERT & TERRY TAYLOR
-We’re joined in progress, and this is another thing that rubs me the wrong way, as Jim Ross and Magnum TA aren’t bothering with the pretense of acting like they’re in the dark. They lead off by saying that it’s one of the all-time great matches in New Orleans and JR and TA were even talking about it in the studio during the break…and then they join it in progress.
-Hot tag, brawl in the ring, brawl on the floor. Rick Steiner runs in to help Taylor with a spike piledriver on Shane Douglas, and that’s it.
-Dusty Rhodes music video. What a relief, I was afraid we would have had to sit through two additional minutes of the greatest tag team match that JR has ever seen.
-Back from the break, Chris Adams comes to the ring and picks a fight with Terry Taylor while Sting and Eddie Gilbert brawl in the stands, and the arena is so empty that there are no fans frantically clearing out of the way. You can’t even concentrate on the brawl because all you can notice is that the only fans in the arena are in the floor seats, the stands are empty, and it’s just Portrait of a Dying Company. It sucks to compliment an asshole AGAIN, but Vince would never, ever allow an all-over-the-arena brawl with attendance this low. Eddie and Sting take the brawl into the concession stand, in case you haven’t figure out what notes Eddie is cribbing from for this angle.
-Missy interviews JJ Dillon in the WTBS Studio. JJ predicts that Ric Flair will get the World Title back, because the Horsemen have a ton of momentum thanks to Arn & Tully’s recent title win and Lex Luger’s continued dominance with the U.S. Title. Ric Flair’s inevitable rematch will restore everything to normal.
ARN ANDERSON & TULLY BLANCHARD vs. ITALIAN STALLION & DENNY BROWN
-Joined in progress with Arn doing some classic leg work on the Stallion. Slingshot suplex by Tully gets the win.
-Ric Flair music video. They ran this one ad infinitum on WTBS. There’s honestly nothing wrong with it but…why not do a series of music videos highlighting each star, instead of Ric Flair’s and the Dusty Rhodes “because Dusty needs to have one too” video.
THE SHEEPHERDERS (with Johnny Ace) vs. KEN MASSEY & BOBBIE HOWELL
-Jim Ross complains about how distasteful it is that the Sheepherders salute the New Zealand flag, even though he has nothing against the people of New Zealand. New Zealand was a weird country to use for a xenophobia gimmick, if that’s not already clear.
-Battering ram and a double stomachbreaker make it an easy week for the Sheepherders.
BARRY WINDHAM (Western States Heritage Champion) vs. ARN ANDERSON
-We’re joined in progress with Tony Schiavone announcing that there are 30 seconds remaining!!! It’s a draw, and Arn attacks Windham with the belt after the match, counts his own pin, and leaves with the belt. This pays off in a big way at Starrcade a few weeks later….Wait….No it doesn’t.
